by Michael Todd
Pandora giggled. “Yeah, no shit, General Holmes.”
The general snickered. “Thanks.”
Pandora yawned loudly. “No need to say thanks. Just bring me the donuts with sprinkles on them, and I’ll call it even.”
“I think I can handle that. Now, can I talk with the human hybrid? I have a couple of things to go over with her.”
Pandora put her hand to her forehead and saluted. “Sure thing, boss. I’ll just be here waiting for that donut guy.”
The general smiled, waiting for the changeover. He was glad that even in dire times like these, his colleagues and allies were still capable of making him laugh. Pandora might be a demon, but her spirit helped the general never give up.
Katie cleared her throat, coming back to the front. “I’m here, General. That was an interesting story about your ex-wife. She sounds like a winner.”
The general hunched his shoulders. “You heard that, did you? Well, not every woman can see the beauty before them. She was a wild thing from the beginning. Young love—it’ll kill you.”
Katie laughed. “I’ll remember that, although love is the last thing on my mind right now. I don’t really see the settling-down thing in my future.”
The general tilted his head, thinking about that for the first time. “Never say never, Katie. We don’t know where all this will lead us. How do you feel about your trip to hell?”
Even now, hearing that out loud made Katie cringe. “You mean my trip back to hell? I don’t know. I think it sounds easy from the outside. It sounds like a quick in and out, but if I know anything about this war, nothing is ever that quick. The demons are going to be highly defensive this time around. They saw the destruction we caused last time, and now they have Pandora and me on their radar. They will be keeping their eyes open to make sure we don’t come knocking on the door.”
The general was starting to be concerned. “Do you have a contingency plan?”
Katie crowed. “Do I ever? It usually involves fighting like hell, breaking some necks, shooting some guns, and then getting the hell out of Dodge.”
“Will that work in this situation?”
Katie sat down. The bed squeaked like a metal mouse being squashed. “Sure. They fight there just like they do here. Poorly. But it will be their home turf. Even I struggle with the climate and atmosphere there, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fight. Hopefully, for everyone’s sake, before the demons even know we’re there.”
The general took a long pause and lowered his tone. “And what happens if they find you? Or if they accidentally stumble upon you? You’re going to be completely exposed. Not to mention the fact that you’re bringing enough equipment, armor, and men that you would be hard-pressed to find cover.”
Pandora laughed. I’ll tell you this much. If demons just happen upon us, they are going to be confused as fuck. Who comes to hell for a vacation? Timeshares don’t work down there. No one but the goths and freaks wants to rent them out.
Katie choked and covered her mouth. “According to Pandora, we would surprise the hell out of them. She says the real estate business in hell really isn’t booming, and the last attempt at pulling in tourists ended in a ball of fire.”
It’s hell. Everything ends in a ball of fire.
The alarm went off bright and early, but Katie opened her eyes feeling more refreshed than she ever had sleeping on her expensive mattress in New York City. She pulled her outfit on and brushed her hair back into a ponytail. Pandora yawned loudly. Where are my GD donuts!?
A knock sounded on the door. Ask, and I shall provide.
She opened the door to a tall soldier with a handsome smile. “Donuts, ma’am.”
Aw, the general sent breakfast and dessert. Come on in, soldier boy.
Katie cackled. The soldier stood there confused until Katie shut the door on him.
18
“If you look to the right, you can see where they’re finishing up the mounts for the .50 calibers. Those will have to be manned, but it’s a good line of defense. I’m thinking of some sort of armor for them. Make the shooter safe inside. Something like a tank.” Korbin was explaining to everyone what he’d been working on.
Timothy whistled. “Those are some mighty scary guns, sir.”
Korbin smiled. “That’s what the demons will say. The rest of everything out here Timothy can control from either the IT room or the security guard shack, or if it comes down to it, from devices inside of the armory. I wanted to make sure we were live in all areas. You never know where you’ll be when an attack happens.”
Stephanie rubbed Korbin’s back with her hand. “Good, now you can come inside and finish hanging shelves. Calvin didn’t get done. He had to jet out for his nice warm vacation in hell with Katie.”
Korbin grimaced. “I hate hanging shelves, but I’ll take that over a vacation in hell.”
Joshua smirked. “That doesn’t sound like the Korbin we used to know.”
Korbin patted his belly and put his arm around Stephanie. “I’m an old married man now. I like to garden, fish, and live in the country. My shows are a priority, that and fixin’ whatever the little lady needs.”
Timothy put his hands to his cheeks. “Aw, you guys are like Little House on the Prairie, only without all those kids. Good night, Pa. Good night, Mary Lou Retton.”
Korbin crinkled his forehead. “Mary Lou Retton was a gymnast in the eighties.”
Timothy waved his hands. “Oh yeah, the one with the haircut that made bus drivers famous all over the world. I love it. She was sassy.”
Korbin was about to respond when the roar of massive engines came over the hill. Everyone turned to watch as several big eighteen-wheelers pulling three M109A6 Paladins on trailers emerged. Korbin whistled loudly. “Well, that’s about four point eight million dollars of ‘Go back to hell’ coming in right there.”
He turned toward Joshua, who was eyeing the big guns. “Think you can whip up a few shells for those bad boys?”
Katie and Calvin were the first to arrive at the transfer chamber. Brock and his team members showed up shortly after and began checking their gear. Dr. Thorough and Alice were the last to arrive. The doctor mumbled something, and Alice wrote it all down furiously. The doctor stopped talking when he saw the grim faces of the soldiers. They resumed preparing in silence. The whole crew was oddly quiet. No one really knew what to expect. Twenty regular soldiers lined the outside of the chamber.
Doctor Thorough saw them and brightened. “Oh, fantastic. We’ll have backup?”
The tattooed soldier shook his head. “They’re staying here. Their mission is to keep whatever is on the other side of the portal out.”
The plan was simple, in theory. They would open a portal and enter hell. Any demons that crossed over and escaped into the chamber would be held at bay. Then the army would exit, and the chamber would be filled with silver gas to kill the escapees. There was also backup on the outside of the hangar, just in case something managed to survive the gas.
They had been through enough to know that you needed backup for your backup.
The doctor looked forlornly at the soldiers. “Backup for backup, but no backup for us?”
Tattoos grinned. “I’m your backup, and you’re mine. It’s going to be great.”
Doctor Thorough didn’t return his enthusiasm.
Katie rolled her shoulders and glanced at Calvin. “You ready for this whole thing?”
Calvin smiled big and cracked his knuckles. “Fuck yeah, I’m ready. I’ve been ready for years. I’ve been holding back on this one. I just wish this was our time to attack. I’m itching to show them who’s boss in their own territory.”
Katie giggled. “All right, black Rambo. Keep your head. We don’t want any unnecessary battles in here. Don’t go running into the inner circle and turning to ash. I can’t save you once you’re no longer in a body.”
“I can’t make any promises.” He chuckled, knowing he was going to play it safe.
Three e
xtra six-wheeled units carrying tools and equipment were lined up behind them. Calvin was pushing one, Brock and his team the next, and Alice was in charge of the last one. They would hopefully get them into hell and back out without incident. The whole crew was equipped with state of the art fireproof suits and special gloves to touch the metal once it had absorbed the hellish heat. They all wore helmets with glass visors.
Brock looked at his suit and then at Katie. “Are you sure these wetsuits are going to keep us safe?”
Katie looked at the doctor, who nodded. “In theory, these suits should repel the heat for the amount of time we need to collect the data. I made them as thin as I could, without interrupting the flow of the suit. I knew you would need dexterity.”
Turner looked at the doctor. “Hold up, let’s rewind three spaces. Did you say, ‘In theory?’”
Alice rolled her eyes. “Yes, dumbass. We haven’t actually been to hell, remember?”
Turner wrinkled his nose. “Sheesh. Rude.”
“Sorry, I get sarcastic and snippy when I’m stressed. I’ll tone it back a notch,” Alice replied abashedly.
Katie clapped her hands and stepped forward. “Okay, guys. We’re going in, setting up defenses, and waiting for the tools to work. Let’s do this safe and fast so we can all get a beer afterward.”
Pandora cleared her throat dramatically. Let me just say one thing before we get to it. I suggest, no I adamantly request, that you steer clear of any angel antics while we’re in hell. Angels set off a whole mess of alarms in hell, and they’ll be on us faster than flies on shit. Keep it to yourself unless it is absolutely necessary. Even then, check with me first. No waves, just in and out.
Katie nodded astutely. Got it. Let’s get this show on the road before these guys start chickening out.
Pandora pushed herself forward. She focused and dug her fingers into empty air. As she pulled her claws apart, they tore a wide gate open in the space in front of her. Everyone closed their eyes as a wall of hot air blew into the chamber. It was hotter than Katie remembered.
“Holy hell,” Tattoos muttered.
Turner’s eyes went huge. “Are those rivers of lava?”
The tattooed soldier checked his weapon nervously. “And volcanoes in the background, just rocking and rolling. I feel like I’m in Mordor.”
Katie waved her arm forward and led the crew into hell.
Brock kept a straight face as he stepped through the portal. “There can be only one.”
Pandora laughed. My precious.
Outside, the soldiers standing around the building put their arms up to block the heat. One terrified private couldn’t help himself. He lowered his arm and looked at the panoramic view of hell through the portal. Fear grabbed him, and he doubled over, vomiting. The rest of the guard stood perfectly still, watching as the team stepped through the gate onto the shimmering black rocks.
The carts bumped along the black rock, waves of heat rolling over their conductive surfaces.
Doctor Thorough suddenly stopped. “Here. Here’s good.”
Brock waved to his team and they fanned out, forming a perimeter around the three carts. Katie and Calvin took the front and the rear, their eyes peeled for trouble.
Alice shook her head. “This is going to be hell on my hair. This is a curly-haired girl’s fucking nightmare.”
The doctor pulled a cart to him and went straight to work, flipping switches and readying the equipment. “I don’t want to waste any time. Get every reading we can.”
Alice started turning devices on as well. “Join the military, see the world.”
Turner glanced at her. “Stressed?”
Alice just stared at the volcanoes in the distance. “You think? Let’s get this done and over with.”
Brock started helping wherever he could, standing next to Alice. “Is this going to be worth it?”
Alice looked at him and blinked, almost as if she was coming to a realization. “Doctor Thorough is a fantastic scientist. He’s probably one of the most brilliant minds in the whole world. If this doesn’t work for him, it won’t work for anyone. I can promise you that.”
Brock understood. “Then we’ll hold off everything we can for as long as we can. Move fast, get as much data as you can.” They watched the doctor mumble to himself as he stood over a cart. “And keep him on task.”
Alice cracked a smile. “I think I can handle that. It was kind of in my job description. Though I have to say, hell was not mentioned once.”
Brock chuckled. “No, I suppose it wasn’t really in any of our contracts. We may find out why in the next few minutes.”
Katie looked over her team, making sure they were all through. She gave the soldiers on the inside of the hanger a wave. One of them waved back.
Let’s get this shit-show on the road.
With a wave of her claws, Pandora released her hold on the gate. It fizzled shut behind them. Alice jumped, startled by the sound, and looked at where the portal was. In its place was nothing but a landscape of darkness and pain.
Turner slapped the tattooed soldier on the chest. “I’m rethinking the whole idea of going to hell as being a fun thing. I don’t want to spend my eternity with the lava people.”
Tattoos just looked at him straight-faced. “Please don’t go getting all crazy religious on me right now. I am not a pastor or a priest. I cannot help you at this moment. You better be looking at Katie as God right now, because she’s the one who will get us out of this.”
Katie walked farther away from the group. She could feel her angelic energy boiling. She had to hold back her angel powers as if they were an automatic reaction to being in hell. She wanted to go to angel turbo. Home again, home again.
Pandora sneered. You know when you were little, and you would be gone a long time and then come back home, and the scent would make you feel all warm inside?
Katie nodded. Yeah. Though the smell was less sulfur and more warm apple pie.
Yeah, well, I don’t get that feeling when I come home. In fact, all I feel is rage and your angel powers tingling.
Katie stared at the volcanoes erupting in the distance. I have to say I’m relieved that you think that way. I don’t really want you to come here and have warm feelings about the place. No pun intended. This is no place for hugs and sweet dreams.
You got that right, sister.
Alice peered at Katie, took in the hellish scenery, then turned back to her machines. “That’s just fucking unsettling. I always wanted a landscape of death and sin in my view. Maybe I should take a selfie and post it. Hashtag kicking it with my demon homies in the pits of hell.”
“Hashtag Damned good time.”
“Hashtag hell of a weekend!”
“Hashtag doing it demon style,” Tattoos finished with a grin. Then he realized where he was and spun around, his weapon at the ready.
Doctor Thorough held his information screen in front of him, excitement blooming on his face. “The readings are just pouring in. This is insane. The ambient temperature is 205 degrees, oxygen levels are holding steady at ninety-three percent, and the heat index is nearing twelve. What level of hell is this?”
Pandora giggled. One step down from the outer ring. We are seeing readings that will triple in the final rings of hell.
Katie walked back to the group. “We’re not that far in, doctor.”
Brock walked up to Katie, breathing heavily. “We need to have a better vantage point to see anything that’s coming. I feel like something could come around the corner at any second. I think we should move a hundred and fifty yards in that direction toward that outcropping. We’ll find a good defensible location.”
“I agree. Give them space to continue their findings, but pull your men back. We can see them 150 yards away,” Katie replied.
Brock walked back to his men and explained the maneuver. They were trying to conserve as much energy as possible, so they moved with caution and precision. If they were going to have enough energy to fight anyth
ing, they were going to have to be extremely cautious. Even with the suits, they could overheat very quickly. Their M16’s would be the most effective form of combat for them.
“Keep your eyes peeled. Watch your six. Your first reaction to any contact should be to call out the threat. You can pull your weapon, but no one fires until I give the word. We don’t want to alert anything to our presence if we don’t have to.” Brock slapped Turner on the shoulder, and led them down to a craggy black outcropping.
Katie and Calvin followed behind, staring in awe around them. The place was insane, with rivers of flaming lava and shores of black stone. It all seemed like a dream to Calvin. “This is pretty cool. I mean, when I was a boy, I was in awe of the first man on the moon. Now I get to be one of the first humans in hell.”
“Well, not exactly.”
“True. We’re the first ones not purposely sent here for our crimes.”
Katie smiled. “I don’t know if I’ve been the first anything before. At least not until I ended up Damned.”
Calvin pointed to her back. “And an angel.”
Pandora cut in. I hate to break it to you two explorers, but technically you’re not the first humans. However, if you make it out of here alive, you’ll be the first to leave hell in one piece.
Katie didn’t like how that sounded. Who were the first humans? How come no one knows anything about that?
It was kind of a bust. Let’s just say the last time, it didn’t go so well for the humans or the Ta’lgherk.
Calvin looked at Katie’s face. “What? What’s Pandora saying?”
Katie tried to wipe the worry from her face. “We aren’t the first humans, but they never made it out alive. And Ta’lgherk didn’t fare so well either.”
Calvin sneered. “Who the hell is Ta’lgherk?”
Katie looked up, realizing she had no idea. “Yeah, Pandora who is that? Or what is that?”