All Your Nights

by Shirleen Davies

  This time she’d use her head. She’d meet someone using logic and care, tactics she understood and could control. No more jumping into a relationship and getting her insides twisted up when it didn’t work out.

  ******

  “I’m heading to bed. Will we see you in the morning?” Clive directed his question to Heath.

  “Count on it.”

  “I think I’ll head outside. You mind if I check on the horses?” Kade asked.

  “Be my guest, just don’t get too attached. Blackjack’s my horse,” Heath joked as Kade disappeared out the front door.

  He strode to the barn, pulling out his e-cig and inhaling, blowing the vapor out into the warm night air. He’d hoped Brooke would join him, share more about herself, and her plans. His attraction to the girl-next-door, Ph.D. candidate made no sense, yet it slammed into him whenever she was anywhere around. Kade had always gone for women rough around the edges, who understood his lifestyle, and didn’t form attachments. Most had made it through life the hard way, as he had, without the aid of a rich family or social connections. He liked women who could relate to his need for excitement and danger. A sophisticated woman such as Brooke would never find a man like him anything more than a passing interest. She moved in circles he’d never feel comfortable in, and expect a life he couldn’t provide.

  He inhaled again and walked toward Blackjack’s stall. No other word could be used for him except magnificent. The sleek black coat and lines took Kade’s breath away every time he saw the stallion. Someday he’d own an animal such as this.

  “I thought you might still be in here.”

  The soft, almost tentative voice caught him by surprise. He spun toward her and stared. She’d changed into tight fitting black jeans and a sleeveless peach colored top which draped in front. He let his eyes wander over every curve, not caring if she noticed. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders and shown in the bright moonlit night. He took several long strides toward her, stopping a few feet away.

  Brooke rested her back against the wall of the barn and wiped her damp hands on her jeans. The decision to change and meet him had been impulsive, completely at odds with what she’d told her mother and Caroline just an hour before. Her need to see him, talk with him once more before he left had overpowered her common sense, making a lie of all her earlier resolutions.

  “Why did you come?”

  She closed her eyes, not sure her answer would make any sense. “I’m not quite certain. To say thank you, and goodbye. Our lives are so different…the chances so small we’ll ever see each other again. I didn’t want you to leave without knowing how much you being here has meant to me.” Her heart hammered in an almost painful rhythm and she worked to draw a breath. She let her eyes drop to his chest, then move up to his mouth which had curved into a wry smile.

  Kade took a step closer, his gaze boring into hers, his face a mask.

  “You’re right, you know.” His voice held no inflection, leaving her to wonder if he felt anything for her.

  Her brows drew together. “About what?”

  “You and I, we’re worlds apart.” He reached out, drawing his knuckles down her cheek and over her jaw before letting his hand drop to his side. “I won’t lie to you, Brooke. I want you, more than I’ve ever wanted a woman. But wanting you isn’t enough. You deserve someone with roots, without the memories and baggage I carry.” His lips curved into a self-deprecating smirk as he opened his arms and looked toward his scuffed boots and torn jeans. “Look at me, Brooke. Your future is with a man who can match your brains and style, not someone who has no home and slums with drug dealers and killers.”

  She listened in her usual calm manner, letting him get it all out, and looking at the picture he made standing before her. He had no idea how much she wanted him and how much it hurt to acknowledge he’d told the truth. She couldn’t let herself be controlled by her desires. The man she’d build a life with would have roots, be there at night, share life’s burdens, and be more interested in their kid’s upcoming soccer game than in the next arrest.

  “It’s funny. I came in here determined not to let you know how much your leaving hurts. Now I must confront it.” She walked toward one of the stalls and grabbed a lead line, took one end and began to twirl in a circle. “You know, Kade, I’ve been fortunate. My father was a man of strong values. He had principles which never wavered. In that, he and my stepfather are much alike. Do you know what one of their firm beliefs is?” She kept her voice calm as she strolled to him, twirling the rope in front of her.

  “No, what?” Kade watched her, captivated by her image.

  “Tell the truth. No matter what, don’t cough up a lot of bull because you can’t handle delivering what needs to be said.”

  “Is that what you think I did? Hand you a load of bull?” His voice took on an ominous tone as his eyes narrowed at her implication he’d lied.

  “No, it’s what I’d been prepared to hand you.” She turned and tossed the lead line over the top of a stall and looked back at Kade. “You had the courage to confront it. I didn’t.” She took a breath and walked to within a foot of him. “The attraction I have toward you is so strong some nights, I can’t sleep. Each time you’re around, my heart races and I can hardly think or breathe. Like you, I tell myself over and over it would never work. I need a life you could never give me, and you need someone who lives on the edge, not within the safe walls of a home or university.” She looked to the ground and closed her eyes, trying to speak her last thoughts before gazing back up at him. “You have no idea how much I wish I were a different person and could be what you want.”

  Kade swallowed the lump in his throat and moved to within inches of her, lifting her chin with a finger and staring into her beautiful eyes.

  “If only,” he said and brushed her lips with his before pulling her into his arms, and covering her mouth in a raw, sensual kiss which had her senses reeling. It wasn’t a gentle kiss, but demanding and passionate—everything Brooke had imagined it would be.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled tight, feeling the queue at the back of his neck. She tugged on the leather thong, letting his hair fall loose, and running her fingers through the loose strands.

  Kade’s hands moved up and down her back, molding her to him, and feeling her softness against his muscled body. He felt his control slip further and knew this had to stop. What he’d told her before had been the truth, at least the part he’d been willing to divulge. The rest she’d never learn—not from him. No matter how each felt, there would be no future for them. He gentled the kiss, drew back on a ragged breath, and rested his forehead against hers.

  “Ah, Brooke, how I wish it could be different.” He placed one more kiss on her lips before heading toward the house, not once looking back over his shoulder.

  ******

  Brooke knew her actions branded her a coward. She glanced at her clock. Six in the morning. She could hear Kade talking with Heath and her mother outside as he prepared to leave to meet the marshals at the jail. She assumed he’d be following them back to San Diego. After last night, Brooke knew seeing him again wouldn’t accomplish anything.

  She threw back the covers and plodded to the window, pulling open the shutters enough to see him standing with the truck door open. He glanced up, toward her room, before climbing inside and slamming the door. She stayed planted by the window, watching as he drove down the long driveway and out of sight.

  “Brooke, you up?”

  “Yes, Mom. Come on in.”

  “You didn’t come down to see Agent Taylor off.”

  “I just woke up, and well, you and Heath were with him. It seemed pointless for me to dress and rush downstairs to repeat what I said last night.” She pulled her hair into a ponytail then straightened up her bed, hoping her mother wouldn’t notice how dejected she felt. From past experience, she knew the feeling would last two, maybe three days, then she’d start the process of forgetting. In the meantime, she’d concentrate o
n preparing to defend her dissertation when she returned to campus in another week.

  “I’m getting breakfast ready, so come down as soon as you’re done here.” Annie took one last glance at Brooke then shut the door. She knew something still troubled her daughter and didn’t believe it had to do with finalizing her doctoral program. With Perry in custody, there could be just one reason for Brooke’s blue mood, and he’d driven away minutes before.

  ******

  “One more signature and you can get out of here.” The deputy collected the forms and called to someone behind her to take U.S. Marshal Ernesto Salgado and Special Agent Taylor to the back of the station where Nesto and another marshal would accompany Perry Worton to a waiting van.

  “I understand you spent the last few days at Miss Sinclair’s ranch.” Nesto leaned against a wall as they prepared the prisoner for the transfer.

  “Her parents’ ranch.” Kade stood a couple of feet away, not the least bit interested in discussing Brooke or her family.

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “Hey, man, you know what I’m asking. You couldn’t take your eyes off Miss Sinclair when we brought her in for questioning. Are you telling me you didn’t make a move after you found out she had nothing to do with Paco?”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “You forget who you’re speaking to. I would’ve placed money on you already—“

  “Enough, Nesto.”

  Salgado’s eyes narrowed as he focused more closely on his friend of well over fifteen years. “So it’s like that, is it?”

  “Leave it alone.” Kade locked eyes with Nesto, his gaze indicating the conversation had ended.

  Nesto walked up and clasped Kade’s shoulder. “Sorry, man,” Nesto said, and meant it. He’d never seen a woman get to his friend like this—one he couldn’t walk away from.

  “Here you are, gentlemen.” A young deputy came to a stop, Peter Worton beside him.

  “Thanks. We’ll take it from here.” Salgado took the prisoner by his elbow and escorted him outside where the other marshal waited. It didn’t take long to secure Worton in the back of the van and lock the doors. “Are you following us?” he asked Kade, who stood watch, not trusting Paco wouldn’t try to break free, or kill any man who could put him in prison.

  “Might as well.”

  Nesto climbed inside and leaned out the window. “Drinks tonight at Water’s Edge.”

  Kade waved as he walked to his truck. Might as well get drunk, nothing else sounded good, and he certainly couldn’t have what he wanted.

  Chapter Eight

  “I can’t find anything wrong with RTC, Heath. It’s as clean as the Colorado purchase.” Cam held the phone between his shoulder and ear, looking over some notes as he scribbled in a journal. “There’s nothing else to check and they’ve answered all my questions. How do you want to proceed?

  “Come on back. I’ll set up a meeting with Jace, Eric, Doug, and Colt so we can plan our next steps.” Heath hung up the phone and punched another number. “Ask Jace to stop by my office when he has a chance.”

  Half of him had hoped Cam would find a deal killer. The other half accepted the issue he and Jace would face if they made an offer.

  Heath grabbed a bottle of water, unscrewed the cap and gulped it down. What he wanted filled a brown bottle in a closed cupboard a few feet away, but it would have to wait.

  “You wanted to see me?” Jace strolled in and pulled back a chair.

  “I heard from Cam.”

  “And?”

  “The deal makes sense.”

  Jace took a minute to let the news sink in. They weren’t the type of men who walked away from good business opportunities. This might have to be the first.

  “Pros and cons?” Jace asked.

  “Hell, there are too many pros to list and only one con.”

  “Rafe. He’s a big issue, Heath, not some insignificant glitch in the deal.”

  “True.” He picked up his latest notes from Cam and slid them across the desk to Jace. “If the price is right, we’d be fools to leave RTC for someone else to scoop up.”

  Jace read through the information, asked a few questions, then set the paper down.

  “What are you thinking?”

  Heath jotted down a number on his notepad and turned it toward Jace.

  “Seems reasonable. Start lower and work up to this if necessary.”

  “We’ll go through the details when Cam gets back in town. My thought is to have him handle the negotiations as long as possible.” Heath settled into his chair and leaned back.

  Jace made no move to leave. “It shouldn’t be happening like this, with Rafe on the outside. I hate doing this to him.”

  “We both do. We have two choices—go after the company or walk away. I’ll be okay with either.”

  “The hell you will. You’ve never backed off a good business deal in your life, and this is a great one.”

  “This may be the first time.” Heath’s voice held none of the firm confidence everyone associated with him.

  Jace slapped his palms on Heath’s desk and stood. “Call the meeting. We’ll study the details and make a decision like any other purchase, taking Rafe out of the picture. We’ll focus on the numbers, like we always do, and make a business decision.”

  Heath watched as Jace closed the door and thought of the last time they’d seen Rafe.

  The three brothers and their father, Clark MacLaren, had been discussing expanding the horse breeding business. Rafe wanted to move into a new and expanding area, providing stock for rodeos, both broncs and bucking bulls. He believed opportunities existed in both, especially the bull market. Heath and Jace thought both might be ideas to consider in the future. However, right then, neither could throw their support to Rafe.

  Their father wanted no part of the expansion—at that time or in the future, calling it a fool’s venture. Rafe’s face had turned to stone.

  “And if one of your real sons had brought it up, would it hold more value?” Rafe asked in a cold, calm voice.

  His question hit their father like a punch to the gut. He pushed up from the massive oak and leather chair, glaring at his middle boy.

  “You are my son, same as Heath and Jace,” Clark ground out.

  “No, not the same. You’ll never see me as anything more than the mistake you made years ago. I’ll never hold the same place in this family and all of you know it.” Rafe grabbed his hat. “I’m done.” He’d stormed out the door, hooked up his trailer to the old Chevy truck he’d purchased doing odd jobs, loaded the two horses he’d earned through hard work and sweat, and drove away.

  They all thought he’d blow off his anger and return. They’d been wrong. Clark died a few years later, knowing his middle son had ended up in Montana. Stubborn pride had kept their father from reaching out and trying to mend the rift. Nevertheless, he’d split his estate evenly between the three, designating Heath to take on the role of president of the MacLaren businesses.

  The sound of his phone ringing pulled Heath from the painful memory and back to the present.

  “Give me thirty minutes and I’ll be there.” He hung up, glad Annie had reminded him of Brooke’s plan to leave for San Diego that afternoon. He’d take his wife and stepdaughter to lunch, and give himself a respite from thinking about old feuds and future conflicts.

  ******

  Brooke hit the interstate doing seventy-five. Her windows were open and the radio blasted a mix of country songs. She’d preferred jazz before her mother had married into the MacLaren family. Now she switched between the two and enjoyed all of it.

  The last two weeks had gone from a crawl to flying by with little time to think of Kade Taylor. The first few days were rough, remembering the night before he left and wishing she’d had the courage to follow her heart and not her head. She told herself the outcome would’ve been the same either way. He had no stomach for a woman like her, but the thought didn’t help ease the pain.
>
  Brooke had been given a date to appear before her program committee to defend her dissertation. Three weeks ago, she’d felt the need for more time to prepare. Now, she wanted to get these final steps behind her and move on.

  Heath and Jace had met with her twice to discuss ways her education and experience could benefit the MacLaren companies. The compensation sounded more than fair, she’d have her own place, similar to Eric’s two bedroom cabin, and lots of freedom to design management integration systems. It sounded perfect. Why wasn’t she more excited?

  The sun had set and she felt bone tired by the time she pulled into her spot at the tiny apartment complex. With the help of her neighbor, she’d taken care of the insurance, getting the apartment cleaned and repaired, and installing new locks while she stayed in Fire Mountain. God bless her neighbor. She owed the elderly woman several dinners and maybe a trip to the movies. The woman did love her action flicks.

  Brooke rolled her bag into the living room and kicked the door closed. Everything seemed the same except for missing vases and picture frames which Perry had destroyed in his attempt to locate the flash drive. She kicked off her sandals and fell onto the couch, thinking of Kade, wondering if she’d ever run into him again, and if he ever thought of her.

  An image of him laughing at a comment Clive made crossed her mind. He had the sexiest smile of any man she’d ever known—she wished he’d flashed it more often. She closed her eyes and let the memory of the night they’d said goodbye wash over her. If only things were different, she thought, right before exhaustion claimed her.

  ******

  “Yes, I have it, sir. I’ll be there in thirty.” Kade shoved the phone back in his pocket. He’d parked outside Brooke’s apartment building, where he’d been ever since Clive told him Brooke left Arizona for San Diego.