All Your Nights

by Shirleen Davies

  “Hey, Kade, how’s it going?” Cassie asked as she stepped aside to let him stand next to Brooke, while Nesto edged in beside Paige.

  “Good. Busy with the new horses.” Kade glanced at Brooke, who lowered her gaze when their eyes met. He needed to find a way to speak with her alone and set things right. “They’re a good group of horses. Where’d you get them?”

  “From our breeding stock program run by Jace and his men. We ship horses all over the country for different purposes.” Cassie watched as Brooke shifted from one foot to another, looking uncomfortable.

  “I think I’ll get another drink,” Brooke said and turned to leave.

  “I’ll go with you.” Kade stayed with her for a few feet then placed a hand on her arm. “Do you have a minute to talk?”

  “Now?”

  “Or after supper. It doesn’t matter, but I’d like some time with you.”

  Brooke looked around to see Annie herding everyone toward the table.

  “After we eat would be best.”

  “Works for me. Thanks.”

  Brooke gave a brief nod before following the others, while trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach. She’d started feeling edgy the moment Kade had entered the house. No matter how determined she tried to be about forcing her feelings aside, she couldn’t seem to overcome her body’s natural reaction to the man. Just the sight of him was enough to affect her, no touching or talking necessary. His mere presence triggered unwanted and uncontrollable responses foreign to anything she’d ever experienced.

  Brooke found a place at the table and set her glass down as Kade pulled out her chair and took a seat beside her. This time her heart rate picked up, tapping a strong beat she could feel throughout her body. She wanted Kade in a way that frightened her. Self-control had always been a strong asset for her, yet around this man, it melted away. Every fiber in her being wanted to lean over and kiss him, right in front of everyone. The thought of acting on the impulse terrified her.

  “Thanks,” she said, her voice almost a whisper.

  “What do you want?” Kade asked.

  “Want?” Her eyes shot up to his, and panic filled her. Had he read her mind?

  “You know, to drink?”

  “Oh…water for now. Thanks.” Brooke settled into her chair and took a deep breath. She had to get control. Now, before anyone noticed her uneasiness with Kade and commented.

  “He is something, isn’t he? Smart, educated, good with animals, a gentleman, and your classic male heartthrob.” Cassie took a seat on Brooke’s other side, her eyes following Kade to the counter where he poured two glasses of water. “But, all this is old news to you, right?”

  Brooke swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Cut it out, Brooke. We may not have spent tons of time together, but it’s pretty obvious to me you two have something going. Or, want to. Right?” Cassie watched him approach. “Never mind, he’s here. We will talk later, though.”

  Brooke felt like sliding under the table. If Cassie thought something was going on between her and Kade, then others might, too, and it wasn’t the case. To her great disappointment, there was nothing except casual conversation and a thinning thread of friendship.

  “Here you go.” Kade set her glass down and took a seat, noticing Nesto across the table next to Paige. “Seems those two are getting pretty chummy.” He looked at Brooke and nodded across the table.

  “They seem to have it hit it off very well. It wouldn’t surprise me if they stayed in touch once Paige goes back to school. He’s based in San Diego, right?” Brooke envied the easy connection Paige had made with Nesto, and wished she could find some way of establishing a comfort zone with Kade. As it stood right now, she found they had no middle ground.

  “Yes. As I understand it, he can keep San Diego as his base for a long time, maybe his entire career with the Marshal Service. He has no reason to put in for a transfer, so my guess is he’ll stay there.” He glanced at Brooke, wishing he could lean over and kiss her. Not a sweet peck on the check, but a full assault on those beautiful, lush lips that had tempted him since she’d first come home. She shifted her gaze to his and licked her lips in an unconscious gesture, triggering a groan from Kade.

  “Sounds like you’re hungry,” Brooke commented.

  “Yeah, starving,” Kade answered, knowing the type of hunger he felt had nothing to do with food.

  Brooke filled her plate and passed the dishes to Kade. He piled the food high, as if he hadn’t eaten in a week and she found herself smiling as he dug in.

  “This is great,” he said between mouthfuls. “Did your mom make it all?”

  “It’s always a team effort. Caroline, Cassie, Lainey, Paige, and I all helped. It’s a great female bonding experience,” she quipped.

  “Lainey’s here, but not Cam. He isn’t in town?” Kade asked.

  “He’s still in Colorado the rest of the week handling the bronc stock business Heath and Jace bought a few months ago. They’ve got him involved in so much, I don’t know when he and Lainey have any time together.”

  “Which reminds me, congratulations on your new job.” He finished eating and pushed his plate away.

  She shot him one of her gorgeous smiles that made his breath catch.

  “Thanks. I think I’m still in shock—it’s such a great opportunity.”

  “Are you finished with your dinner?” His voice, thick and unsteady, sent chills through her.

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Let’s get out of here for a little bit.” He pulled out her chair and rested his hand on the small of her back as they walked outside.

  The temperature had dropped to a comfortable sixty-eight degrees as the sun passed behind the mountains, leaving a slight glow in the sky. It wouldn’t be long before the light faded and they’d be pitched into darkness, except for the light of the stars and partial moon.

  Kade guided her toward a corral where several horses grazed in the waning sunlight. He leaned on the top rail, resting his arms and placing one boot on the lower rung. Brooke stopped beside him and stepped onto the fence with both feet, allowing her to look over the top rail.

  “Are those the new horses Callie mentioned?”

  “They are. We’ll be using them this weekend for the trail ride. Are you looking forward to it?” Kade asked. He kept his eyes straight ahead, not allowing her to see the interest in them.

  “I am, and Paige can’t wait. She’s never been on a ride longer than a couple of hours, so this will be a real experience for her.”

  He took a slow breath, making a decision to address the wide chasm between them.

  “Brooke, about before—”

  “It’s all right, Kade. We both know the odds of anything working out between us are slim.” She stepped to the ground and looked up at him. “I must admit, though, sometimes it’s hard for me to remember the reasons.” Her mouth curved into a thoughtful smile.

  He could see the desire in her eyes and worked to hold himself in check. Reaching out to pull her toward him would be the worst move right now.

  “Anyway, your life is in California and I’ll be starting over here. We made the right decision.”

  “You think so?” His voice had grown thick with a tinge of regret.

  She looked away, deciding whether to be truthful or say what she thought he’d want to hear. She’d never been any good at avoiding her feelings.

  “No.” Her eyes locked on his a brief moment before shifting away.

  He choked out a grim laugh. “I don’t either.”

  Brooke absorbed his words, wondering why they fought so hard to stay away from each other when each felt so drawn to the other. Was attraction and desire always this complicated?

  Kade turned away from her and started walking toward the barn. She fell in step next to him and waited.

  “The assignment inserting me into the biker gang changed how I view people. I thought I’d seen it all in Afghanistan during my time in Special Ops, but
the people in those gangs are a step below anything I’d ever witnessed. I rode with them for two years, knowing, going in, it would be dangerous work. That’s probably why I took it. I’ve always lived on the edge and this was another opportunity to continue the pattern.” He fell silent as they approached the barn entrance and moved toward Blackjack’s stall.

  “Do you want to talk about what you saw?”

  “Not tonight.” He gazed at the big, black stallion. Kade found he never tired of looking at the magnificent animal, or at the beautiful woman beside him. “The odds are pretty good I’ll be testifying against those we arrested. I’m looking forward to it and hope they don’t agree on some type of plea bargain.”

  “Would you do it again? Go back into a gang for months or years?”

  He thought a moment, already knowing the answer, yet not sure how much to say. “Right now, I’ll just say my future is open. Being at the ranch has brought me back to a life I thought I’d walked away from years ago. Now I’m not so certain.”

  Brooke’s heart raced. If he left the DEA, making a decision to return to working horses, perhaps Heath could find a place for him here. She fought the hope which grew at his words.

  “If you quit, and came here, then…” her words drifted off.

  He knew what she implied and turned toward her, lifting a hand and stroking it down her cheek before letting his arm drop to his side.

  “There’s more to it than my job, Brooke. Other issues that can’t be dealt with so easily.”

  “Such as?”

  “Stuff in my background. Things I can’t change that have nothing to do with what job I have or where I live. Obstacles between us I have no idea how to overcome.” His voice was rough and bitter.

  Brooke reached out and laid a hand on his arm, squeezing lightly. When he didn’t back away, she stepped closer, moving her hand up to his shoulder and reaching up to kiss his cheek. His reaction surprised her.

  In one quick movement he’d wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flush to him and crushing his mouth to hers. The calm she’d felt a moment before shattered at the intensity and hunger of his kiss. His tongue traced her full lips, then slipped inside to explore further as his arms tightened around her.

  She circled his neck with her arms, threading her fingers through his hair, while aligning her body to his. She could feel every taut muscle and strained to get closer, letting out a soft moan as his hands moved up and down her back, creating a heat like nothing she’d ever known. The kiss went on and on, sometimes gentling before returning to an almost desperate ravishing of her mouth. Finally, she could feel the intensity decrease and his grip begin to loosen.

  Kade raised his mouth from hers, and gazed down, his deep green, passion filled eyes betraying the desire he felt. He wanted to continue, with more than just kisses, yet he knew it would be a mistake.

  He dropped his arms and stepped back. “We’d better go back inside.” His raspy voice broke as he grabbed her hand and started for the house.

  She pulled him to a stop a few yards from the front door and forced him to look at her.

  “Why can’t this work, Kade?” Her shaky words broke the silence.

  He ran a hand through his hair and looked away, not ready to meet her gaze. In his mind, there existed substantial problems Brooke would have no way of understanding. If he told her, there wasn’t a shred of doubt in his mind her feelings toward him would change. He couldn’t chance seeing the disillusionment in her eyes if she learned the truth.

  “Let it go for tonight, Brooke. Please.” He leaned down and brushed his mouth over hers, fighting the urge to pull her toward him again.

  “Ah, there you two are.”

  Kade took a step back as Nesto and Paige walked outside to join them. Even though Kade kept his face impassive, he could see the knowing look in Nesto’s eyes.

  “Your family’s asking about you, wondering where you and Kade went.” Paige’s eyes glittered, sensing something had changed between Brooke and Kade, yet she saw no sense of joy on either face.

  “Nesto’s going to show me the new horses, then we’ll be back inside.”

  “We should take off once you’re done,” Kade said to Nesto. “Early day tomorrow.”

  “Don’t forget, you promised to help Brooke move into the cabin,” Paige reminded the men.

  Kade looked at Brooke. “We didn’t forget. Will tomorrow after lunch work?”

  She nodded, still reeling from what may be happening between her and Kade. After what transpired in the barn, and the comments he made, she refused to let whatever had started between them die. She’d get him to talk and find a way to make it work.

  “I’d better get inside before they come looking for me.” She wrapped her hand in Kade’s as Paige and Nesto turned toward the pasture.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Everyone ready?” Cassie asked as she walked by each horse trailer toward her cousin Blake, who sat behind the driver’s seat in the last truck. She’d be riding with him, Paige with Nesto, and Brooke with Kade. They figured it would take about two hours on a Friday afternoon to reach base camp, unload the horses, and finish the final set up before the students arrived around suppertime.

  “We’re set,” Kade called and climbed into his truck, glancing at Brooke. She’d pulled her hair into a ponytail, covered by a baseball cap sporting an Arizona Diamondbacks logo. Blake refused to let her ride with them until she’d replaced the San Diego Padres cap she’d shown up wearing. She looked happy—and young.

  Kade drove toward the main highway before taking a couple of turns onto an old trail leading to their base camp on MacLaren property. They’d used this location many times for trail rides with family and groups of new riders. Cassie had been giving lessons since high school, as well as summers during college, and she had a standard routine for the two days of riding.

  “You must be busy setting up the cabin. I haven’t seen you at the house the last couple of days.” It had surprised Kade how disappointed he’d felt when Brooke hadn’t been by the house since moving her belongings into the cabin. Paige had stopped by a couple of times, mainly to visit Nesto, he suspected, while Brooke stayed behind.

  “Dr. Krueger and the committee asked me to make a few more revisions to my thesis. Small items, but they took time. I hope it’s their last request for changes.” She rolled down the window, turned off the air conditioning, and let the fresh breeze fill the cab. “There’s nothing like the smell of pine trees.” She flashed a brilliant smile his way. The impact was immediate as he felt all the air being sucked from his lungs.

  “It is beautiful up here.” Kade’s soft words reflected his feelings about the view inside as well as outside. He drove another mile then pulled to a stop, allowing enough room for the other two rigs. Without another word, he jumped from the truck and walked to the back of the trailer. He needed space. Having Brooke so close had been more than a small temptation. He had to keep reminding himself of the valid reasons why they couldn’t have a relationship even as his body, and heart, protested his reasoning.

  “What can I do?” Brooke asked as she came around the back.

  “Why don’t you and Paige help get everything out for supper and store your gear? I believe Cassie said the three of you will be staying in the tent over there,” he said, pointing a few yards away.

  “I could help you first—”

  “No need. I’ve got this covered.”

  She took the hint, even though his obvious dismissal stung. Brooke found he ran hot, then cold. He wanted her, no doubt in her mind, and she wanted him. Whatever bothered him about a relationship with her ran deep. She’d lain awake the last few nights dissecting the situation every way she could before making the decision to find a way to get him to open up and talk to her.

  The first of the students arrived a few hours later, the excitement obvious on their faces. Most were high school age, a couple in their twenties, and one older couple whose children were grown and out of the house. They
’d given up their horses years ago when they no longer had a place to keep them. Neither needed lessons but kept going to Cassie for the opportunity to ride. Cassie had long since stopped charging them.

  “Hey. I’m so glad you could make it.” Cassie walked up to the older couple and gave each a hug. “I’ve got a tent set up for you in those trees. Go ahead and get comfortable. The food should be ready soon.”

  Blake, Brooke, and Paige helped the others get settled while Kade and Nesto handled the horses. Eight students plus the six of them—a good ratio even though Paige had less experience than most everyone else.

  Kade kept an eye on Brooke without attempting another conversation. Guilt gnawed at him for the way he’d cut her off earlier. He hung onto his self-control by a thread, knowing he had little resistance when it came to her. He had never felt this way before, allowing a woman to dominate his thoughts, and weaken his ironclad restraint. He’d been known for his steadfast resolve during his time in Special Ops and as a DEA agent, yet it alluded him whenever Brooke came into sight. Frustration didn’t even begin to describe how he felt about it.

  “All right, everyone. Please gather around the fire so we can go over the plans for tomorrow.” Cassie pulled up a camp chair. Supper had gone well with everyone appreciating the stew, biscuits, and pie. Now they had to get down to business. “We all ride together. I’ll be in the lead with Blake,” she nodded toward her cousin, “taking up the rear. You’ve all met Kade and Nesto. They’ll be riding up ahead and between riders, checking to be sure all is okay and no one is having any problems. Please let one of us know right away if you or your horse is having any problem.” She continued on for several minutes before opening the discussion up for questions.

  Brooke watched as Kade took a seat on an old log on the other side of the campfire from her, stretching out his long legs and listening to Cassie. Within minutes, two young women took seats on either side of him. Both appeared to be in their early twenties, and quite attractive. Brooke cringed as he talked and laughed with them, wishing he’d chosen to sit by her.