“You’ve still a long way for that, but education is of primary importance now.”
She yawns and hops onto the floor. “Not this again. Come on dad, I’ve never neglected it, you know?”
“Never said you have,” I answer calmly. “But since your day appears to be ruined thanks to that teacher of yours, let me set that right.”
“Really now?” her eyes grow wide. “Are we like going out for dinner? Mom has already set up mashed potatoes and steak. Clay might have other plans for dinner. He’s barely sticking with a girl for more than a week these days.”
“Leave your brother out of it for now. I’ll have a man to man talk with him soon.”
“Man to man, huh?” She chuckles, rolling her eyes. “Poor thing. I’ll give him a fair warning.”
My son is mimicking my adolescent years. Not a good sign. On those grounds, I don’t want him becoming me. But first I’ll address my daughter’s sour mood.
“Coming back to you. Why don’t you challenge your dad with that new basketball trick that you’ve learned?”
“Really?’ She exclaims. “Like, right now?”
“Yeah, before dinner. You can skip the work out since you’ve clearly done that earlier. We can have a thirty minute session. No more than that.”
“Awesome dad!” She throws her arm around me, giving me a tight hug. “Wait, don’t you usually go for a jog around this time?”
I do. When I don’t hit the gym- which I’ve not been able to do lately, I go for a run at least. Basketball is not my forte, but if it pleases my daughter, then I’m up for it.
“If a match can bring that wide smile and triumph on your face, then I can skip it for today.”
“Definitely!” she confirms. “You’re the best dad in the world.”
I follow her out of the room, closing the door and leaving my phone behind. I’ll follow up with Sara later. I won’t be able to make time for her today.
Chapter 5
Sara
The entire weekend has passed without any news, call or text from Nathan. It was not like I was impatiently waiting to hear from him. I was just a little hopeful. Okay, I’ll be lying to myself if I say that. I real badly wanted to hear from him. I’ve no idea what he’s doing or what plans he has but he’s left me curious and excited. For the first time ever, I’m more concerned about what he has to say and what he really thinks of me than worrying about why Bryce has ignored me the whole weekend. With Bryce it has become more like a common practice. He doesn’t do it on purpose. It’s just that he tends to get so busy that texting me or giving me updates about his day just slips his mind. It still hurts me and the end result still remains the same. I’m left alone, sad and disappointed. Not that I crave for company to keep myself entertained, but affection and time with boyfriend is always welcome. I’m clearly lacking that.
“Are we really at this again?” My sister asks, plopping next to me.
I keep my phone aside and stop checking it. I’ve been trying to ignore it for an hour now as I try to work on my new manuscript, but to no avail. My attention is clearly on my phone and I’m distracted. I’ve barely written five hundreds words. For me that’s really bad. When I’m really in the mood to write, I can spin at least thousand odd words in thirty minutes.
“I’m trying,” I tell her, directing my attention to my MacBook.
“I’m not talking about your story. It’s about giving Bryce some space and time to at least consider your words.”
“Oh right. About that.” Tucking my legs under my bottom, I sit straight on my knees. “I’ve just texted twice and called him once today morning. It’s as much space as I can give my boyfriend. He can’t possibly expect more than that.”
“So since his last visit on Friday, you haven’t heard from him at all?”
“He did apologize for leaving rather hastily and told he’ll give my words a serious thought, but he got very busy and told he’d call back. But I haven’t got that call from him yet.”
“That’s typical of him, isn’t it?” She offers a sheepish smile that clearly shows she’s sympathizing for me.
“I wish I had gotten used to it by now, but sadly no. I’m still the same. Hope doesn’t die so easily.”
“And it hurts the same every single time?” she asks with a frown. Nothing she can say or do can cure my sadness. But I do appreciate the fact that she tries every single time. She’s way more patient than me.
“You know how it works. I’m coping and trying to be strong, but I’ll be losing it soon,” I accept with a sigh.
“He’s helpless,” she tries.
“No. No. Please don’t defend him. Not this time. You know I don’t expect much from him, but completely being ignorant and blind to my needs is too much.”
“He’s a medical student. Like it or not Sara, his first priority will always be his patients. I had warned you about it, but you had shrugged it off then.”
“I know, but I didn’t think it would turn out to be this worse and it’s not like he asked for my opinion before choosing his profession. I didn’t have much of a say in it. I encouraged him like a typical girlfriend. Didn’t realize back then that I would be digging my own grave.”
“It’s a noble profession,” she tells proudly.
“Never denied it,” I tell with a tight smile. “And he’s very good at it too but it’s just not jelling with me.”
“He doesn’t always have his phone on him,” she tries again.
“I know and when he does, what does he do? He checks on news or plays some game to get a good break. Calling me isn’t in the list of recreational activities for him.”
We have had this conversation before. She takes his side just so she can make me see the good in him. But the problem is- I don’t look down on him. It’s just that I’m not happy with where and how our relationship is headed.
“I know medical school is tough,” I continue. “Especially the final two years and he has it bad, but completely ignoring your personal life is not the solution, right? If not for himself, at least for me, he should try to balance both. He’s clearly not even trying.”
“Sara..”
“No, wait.” I hold up my hand. “And by expecting him to do that and reminding him of the same, I’m clearly irritating him and becoming more of a burden. It’s better I stop doing that and just set him free, you know?”
“I’ve never been against taking long breaks to find the lost love again, but don’t let his busy life and work commitments become a reason for you to just ditch him and move on. He’s a nice guy and he truly loves you. You’ve affirmed that.”
“I know and that’s exactly why I keep giving him chances and keep assuring myself that, our love is not lost, he’ll change and revert to how he was before. It won’t go on for long. I understand his situation and yet I can’t settle for anything else. It might be my problem after all, but we are both suffering because of it. Either we give up for good or give ourselves enough time to mature and accept each other for how we truly are.”
She walks to the bed and gives me a quick, tight hug. “You’ve both been each other’s first date and you’ve come a long way from there. It’s not going to be easy to walk away at this stage but if that’s the only alternative to hurting one another by continuing this, then I’m with you. I’m always with you, Sara. Whatever decision you take.”
I just nod my head and she gets on with her work. I manage to write another paragraph before submitting to my impatience and picking my phone. It’s not Bryce I’m this anxious about. It’s Nathan. I check again if I’ve got any message from him. It’s not typical for me to be behind a guy like this and be this desperate, but I can’t still lay my hands on what it’s about Nathan that has wound me so tight. I want to figure him out, but the more I talk to him, the more confused and tempted I get. I actually went ahead and called him a little while after Bryce left me frustrated and sad on Friday. It wasn’t liquor strength that made me call him, it was sheer impatience. That conv
ersation didn’t go as planned but then again, I didn’t even have a plan to start with. I wanted him to do all the talking and to shed more light about his keen interest in me, but I ended up making us both laugh. Laugh. Like the actual laughter that erupts from your belly and slips through your mouth, leaving contentment and joy behind. It’s been ages since I’ve laughed like that and it wasn’t like I had cracked some big joke either. He genuinely seemed to find whatever I said funny and that happiness proved to be contagious. To be honest, I’m scared and skeptical, but what I’m truly surprised is how my curiosity is overpowering my fears. It seems surreal actually. He is the same Nathan I’ve known since months now. I had a completely different view about him and now it’s like I’m seeing a totally different face of his. Surreal things have me exploring and investigating, and that’s exactly what I’m doing or so I say to defend, rather justify my actions, but bottom line remains the same – I have developed a special liking for him and I’m not sure if it’s healthy going by the direction he usually tries to steer the conversation.
“He changed his display picture!” I exclaim loudly.
“Who?” My sister confronts, looking my way.
I can’t believe I said that out loud. I mean, Nathan just changed his picture to one of his own and that got me so excited.
“Sara, you there?” I snap my head to my sister. Her brows are lifted in question.
“Nathan,” I admit. “After he had called me yesterday, I ended up saving his number and I was just scrolling through my contacts and saw that he has changed his picture.”
“And what’s so exciting about that?” she asks with a blank look.
“I’ve seen his picture, I mean just his face before on office Skype, but now that I have seen his full body, I must accept that he is indeed very hot.” I can feel the warmth spreading on my cheeks. She won’t miss it either.
“Really now? This is new. You’re finding an old guy hot.”
“You would too. You’re not the one to miss hot goods,” I tell with a shrug.
She comes over. Zooming on his picture, I pass my phone to her. She gawks and her eyes go wide. “This is Nathan Bankers?” She asks, disbelievingly.
“Yup. That is him.”
“Holy fuck. He’s super-hot. How old is he? Thirty- five at the most.”
I giggle, grabbing the phone from her. “I checked out his FB profile. He’s precisely twenty years elder to me which makes him forty-three.”
“He doesn’t look forty from any angle! Are you sure there are no vacancies in your office? I’m all up for applying if I get to check out guys like him on a daily basis.”
“And you were chastising me for finding him hot,” I joke.
“Sorry,” she mumbles. “Your boss is definitely a worthy catch,” she laughs. “Ignoring his age, even I would’ve tried my luck with him.”
“But all doors are closed. He’s married with two kids. His son is just few years younger to me.”
“Obviously I didn’t expect him to stay bachelor and no woman would ever leave a guy like him either. So yeah, no scope for us,” she announces sadly.
“For you,” I correct her and immediately regret it.
“Really, now?” she raises her brows. “You never used to get along well with him. What has changed now?”
A lot. I really wish I could tell her that. But the wisest thing to do now is to keep my mouth shut.
“He’s not that bad actually. The more you get to know him, the more you’ll like him or it’s more like …you, know? He grows on you.”
“OK. He’s just an extremely hot rather grumpy boss you’re trying to tolerate,” she insinuates. “Right?”
I actually roll my eyes this time. “Yeah, but I hope to get know him better and grow close. I probably misjudged him earlier.”
“Is that really a good idea?” she shakes her head, tapping her chin. “You know these eye candies are better to be kept at a distance and they are meant to be just swooned over. He belongs to the same category.”
“I know that,” I state with conviction. “But since he also happens to be my boss, I’ll have to interact with him for official matters too.”
“Let it just stay that way, ok?” she tells too tensely for my liking. “Look, I’m not warning or chastising you or anything, but I know you tend to always get your feelings in between and that’s not really healthy given the current situation.”
“I don’t have any feelings to begin with,” I argue. Why do I feel that my sister is indeed reading a lot into my growing affliction for Nathan? I’ve always wore my feelings on my face and she has been the best at reading and analyzing them. This shouldn’t have come as a surprise.
“I know. Just make sure you don’t develop any either. Alright?” There is no scope for argument. I just agree with a small nod. I think it’s already too late for that.
“Are you serious?” I shout over the phone. “Please tell me you’re joking. You can’t just flee like this!”
“I’m not fleeing. You asked for space and time, Sara. That’s exactly what I’m giving you. It’s all for you, baby,” Bryce pleads.
“Shut up. Just shut up,” I cry. “This is too sudden. You didn’t even inform me earlier. I need time to wrap my head around this.”
“That was the point. I wanted to go with you but you’ve been so distant and sad lately, always questioning our relation. I thought this would be for the best. It’s just two weeks.”
Since a year, I’ve been dying to go on a holiday with him. Just me and him. I didn’t have a destination in mind. I just wanted to take him some relief from the constant stress and pressure. An escapade from all his frustrations. I wanted us to find our groove again with this vacation. A few months ago I left all hope as he never seemed to even get time to plan for it. Now all of a sudden, he calls from the airport, saying his flight is in two hours and it was a rather hasty decision that he and his friends took just yesterday when they finally got two weeks off. He hadn’t even told me that there was a chance that he might actually get two weeks off. Two whole weeks. That was more than what I had hoped for.
“Please don’t do this.” I’m a blabbering mess now. I hate when he does this. I want Bryce with me. I want to talk about our problems and then decide the best course of action. He can’t just make the decision for us and just go away with his friends. It’s just not done.
“Babe, please understand. This has taken a heavy toll on me too. I just need some time…”
“When I asked for space and time, you refused and got pissed at me. Now that you’re asking for the same time, you really expect me to relent so easily?”
“No. I knew you wouldn’t understand and that goes on to prove that you don’t need time, you just need me and my time. I want you to realize this, Sara and never get such doubts in the first place. And like I said already, this was a spur of the moment plan and to prove a point to myself and to you, I need to go,” he tells in a calm and composed voice.
“No, you don’t and don’t you dare put this all on me. You’re going because you want some time to relax and have fun with your friends. I’m just a big pain in the ass for you and that’s exactly why you’re doing this to me.” I’m not sure if I’m more annoyed or sad. I’m having a conniption.
“Just stop, please. You’re not even aware of what you’re saying anymore. I get you’re angry, but babe, please meet me once before I leave. Hear me out once, please.”
Do I even have a better option? If I don’t meet him now, I’ll be spending every waking hour of the coming two weeks, regretting it. He always does this. Pushing me to an ultimatum where he knows I will always end up choosing him, but maybe this time, I can prove him wrong. But what will I get out of it? I’ll be stranded in contrition as always.
“Ok,” I say and just cut the call.
I pull the car in the parking lot in front of his terminal gate. I hope to get at least five minutes before he has to report inside. As soon as I step out of the car, I see him waving
at me. He looks nothing like how I feel or even appear for that matter. I’m distraught and I even appear that way. My hair is a mess- I didn’t even comb it. My eyes are watery and my face is blotched with tears. I just wore a blazer on top of my tank top and rushed here. He, on the other hand, is put together as always. I don’t even know what to feel about it anymore. I swore to myself that I would keep my cool and won’t create a scene here. I hope I’ll be able to pull that off.
“Hey,” he greets with a smile when I walk up to him. “Before you start, let me first say how sorry I am. It’s not against you, Sara, but I need this time to just get a break, so that when I return, I can address all our problems. In a way, I’m doing this for us. I accept, it was a hasty decision and I should have consulted you first, but for now this is the best option I have.”
“You knew! You were well aware that I always wanted to go on such a getaway trip with you. And when you finally did get that chance, you didn’t even consider taking me. Maybe that trip by itself was the solution to all our problems. Some time together, away from everyone else. That’s exactly what we needed.”
He sighs and runs his palm along his face. “It’s not that easy for you to get two weeks off at such a short notice.”
“I would have managed somehow, anyhow,” I argue. “Please, don’t make excuses now. You’re doing it solely for yourself. It has nothing to do with me or us.”
“That’s not true, Sara. You know I’m under a lot of stress too. This residency period is the toughest. And getting such a long holiday is extremely difficult. We lucked out actually. That’s’ exactly why I want to make the best of it.”
“Without me,” I add in small voice, holding back my sob. “It’s not too late, you know? We can still go together. I just want you all for myself, Bryce, just this one time. I need you. I love you and I really don’t want to lose you to your profession.”
Enticed by you (Miraculous Love Book 1) Page 6