A Broken Outlaw (Belles & Bullets Book 7)

by Caylen McQueen

  “But we have to! I have to find him! We have to, okay? I have to... I have...”

  Dropping her head to Patrick's shoulder, Carol exploded with a sob. She cried until she coughed, until she soaked his shoulder in tears. She cried harder than she ever cried in her life. “If I would've been there, I would've found some way to save him! I wouldn't have left until I found him and dragged him out!”

  Patrick nearly pushed her off of him. If she wasn't so destroyed by sadness, he might have done just that. “Are you saying I didn't do enough?”

  “No, I'm saying it's my fault!” Carol declared. “I shouldn't have left his side! I was upset with him, but... I should have stayed with him.” When she finally lifted her head from Patrick's shoulder, she swabbed her eyes with the overlong sleeve of her coat. “I was a bad sidesidekick.”

  Suddenly, Josiah's original sidekick appeared. Carol's eyes were blurry from tears, so she didn't see them until they were standing right in front of her.

  “Carol?” It was Jun who spoke first. “Carol, what's wrong? Why do you look so sad?”

  When her eyes met Flynn's, Carol's lungs were squeezed by another tearful sob. She tried to answer, but she couldn't.

  So Patrick had to tell them the bad news. “Josiah's dead.”

  “Dead? Nah, not Josiah.” That reply came from Nicky Gunn, who approached from behind. “That boy's got nine lives. I've seen him emerge from worse. Just you wait. He'll reappear when you least expect it.” His brother turned around, so Nicky waved. “Hey, Pat. It's good to see you.”

  “He's not going to reappear, Nicky. There's no way,” Patrick disagreed.

  Nicky laid a hand on his brother's shoulder, but he didn't say another word. He didn't want to look too excited to see his sibling, not when Flynn would never be reunited with his.

  “I saw him today,” Flynn finally spoke up. “I rode past him when I was driving. Our eyes met and... I had the strangest feeling.”

  “What feeling?” Jun asked.

  “I don't know. I guess I just felt like something bad was going to happen. I was trying to get away from the city as fast as I could, but... now I wish I would've pulled over and stayed with him. Maybe I could've saved him.” Flynn slipped his hands into the pockets of his coat. “Maybe it's my fault.”

  Everyone tried to share the blame, but no matter how many times they blamed themselves, they couldn't turn back the clock. They couldn't bring him back.

  Without a word to anyone, Carol rose from the ground and walked away. She tried to ignore the stabbing pain in her chest as she sauntered down the wrecked roads of Gravestone, quietly crying to herself.

  Her spirit. Her humor. Her joy. All of it was lost.

  Carol's heart was so broken, she had lost every piece of herself.

  Thirty Six

  Lettie and Julian couldn't keep their hands off of each other. Nicky and Gwen weren't much better. No matter where he tried to find solace on the airship, Flynn was surrounded by lovers.

  For a girl who was once in love with his brother—or claimed to be—Gwen didn't seem especially upset about Josiah's death. Every time Flynn saw her, she was clinging to Nicky, sitting on his lap, kissing him, or combing her fingers through his messy brown hair. The only time they didn't get along was when Nicky teased her about being a widow, which earned him a punch on the arm. It was apparently the first serious relationship for both of them, so Flynn couldn't fault them for finding happiness. It wasn't as if he expected everyone to fall into a pit of depression over Josiah's death.

  Thanks to Julian Featherstone, Shuchun Jun was finally going home. Nicky apparently had a great deal of influence over the captain, who agreed to lend them the use of his airship to cross the ocean and reunite Jun with the village she missed so much. As she roamed the airship's deck, surrounded by stars, Jun wasn't sure what she would miss more—the home she loved, or the friends she had grown to love during her time overseas. She would especially miss Flynn. In fact, every time she closed her eyes, she tried to imagine herself parting ways with him, and it never got any easier.

  Like Jun, Flynn wandered the airship's deck at night, while everyone else was sleeping. He stood on the bow, silently enjoying the velvety night sky and crisp, cool air. A vast canopy of stars surrounded a silvery full moon. It was quite a sight, one he rarely stopped to appreciate.

  “Josiah.” He said his brother's name aloud. Flynn never thought there would come a day when he wouldn't have him. He had already lost so much. A father. A mother. Now he lost the brother he admired and respected more than anyone. If Jun left him too, what would he have left? He saw her in the corner of his eye, aimlessly wandering the deck, but he didn't bother her. Like him, he assumed she needed some time to process the last twenty four hours. They passed each other several times, but Flynn never said a word to her, and she never said a word to him. Finally, after over an hour under the stars, he retreated to his quarters with a heavy heart.

  It was an overnight journey to Jun's village. When they weren't with their girls, Nicky and Julian were inseparable. They had breakfast together the next morning, and it was Julian who accompanied Nicky to Jun's village, not Gwen. Because he didn't want to alarm the villagers, Julian landed the airship a half-mile from Hépíng, and they made the rest of the journey on foot. As they shuffled through overgrown grass, Julian and Nicky took turns shoving each other, punching, jumping onto each other's backs, and drinking from the same bottle. Flynn thought they looked like soulmates, but he didn't point it out. He doubted either of them would appreciate the observation.

  “Are you okay?” Flynn asked Jun, who was quietly walking beside him. As somber as she looked, if he didn't know any better, he would have assumed she was marching to her death, not returning to a place she claimed to love. In the back of his head, he kept hoping she would change her mind and decide to live in West Columbigo with him and Nicky and everyone else. But she never did.

  “Yeah. I'm okay.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.” Jun nodded slowly. “I'm just a little worried about what my mother is going to say. She really wanted me to marry the emperor.”

  “She should be happy to see you again,” Flynn said. “If she isn't, then she's not a very good mother.”

  “She isn't a very good mother,” Jun agreed with a groan.

  “What is it about Hépíng that you miss?”

  “Everything.” Jun started to reach for Flynn's hand, but she changed her mind. “I miss the people. I miss the sights and sounds... the babbling brook and the farmers in the fields. I miss the smell of flower petals, carried by the wind. I miss the animals, the children, the simplicity of it.” But I'll miss you more, Flynn, her mind silently finished the thought.

  Before entering the village, they were accosted by a trio of intrepid chickens, who mercilessly pecked at Nicky's boots. He was rescued by Julian, who scooped up the alpha chicken and tucked her under his arm.

  After the chicken drama subsided, Nicky turned to Jun and pointed at the village in front of them. “This place is beautiful, Jun. I can see why you wanted to return.”

  “Thanks, Nicky.”

  “You know, I always knew I'd be the one to get you back home.” When he saw Flynn glowering at him, Nicky added, “I mean... technically speaking, I am the guy who befriended the guy with an airship, but, uh... I guess Flynn did a lot of the work.”

  “And I'm the guy who befriended the guy who knows the guy who knows the girl who hopefully can hook me up with some Huoxian alcohol?” Julian spoke up. “Are there any pubs around here?”

  “No pubs... but I know a lady who brews her own baijiu. I'll let her know you're interested.”

  “Could you? That'd be great, sweetheart,” Nicky answered on Julian's behalf, then they both set off to search for spirits.

  When they reached Jun's house, she turned to Flynn and said, “Well... this is it. I guess I should let her know I've returned.”

  “I hope it goes well.” Flynn pushed back his hat s
o he could see her more clearly. Transparent melancholy hovered on her face; there wasn't the slightest trace of hope in her eyes. Judging from her sad expression, she didn't expect the union to go well. “What do you want me to do while I wait for you?”

  “You can wander around the village, if you want,” Jun suggested. “If anyone seems concerned about you, you can tell them you're with me.”

  “Alright.” Flynn tipped his hat to her. “Good luck, Jun.”

  For a time, Jun and Flynn temporarily parted. As he walked away, he heard Jun's mother shrieking and squawking, “Jun? Why are you here? You are not supposed to be here!”

  During Jun's tense reunion with her mother, Flynn toured the village. A pair of little boys kicked a ball to him, so Flynn stopped what he was doing and lightly kicked it back to them. Delighted by the stranger's participation, the boys swarmed around him and kept kicking it back and forth. After booting the ball into their makeshift goal, Flynn ruffled the boys' hair and continued to explore.

  A few minutes later, he strolled past a large farm, where he stopped to watch a worker dab sweat from his brow. Flynn almost offered to lend a hand, but he didn't know if a foreign cowboy's assistance would be well-received, so he kept walking. When he reached the edge of the village, he took a moment to study the awe-inspiring rice terraces. The endless layers of rice spiraling up a distant mountain was a jaw-dropping scene to behold.

  “Flynn!”

  As soon as he heard Jun calling his name, he spun around and returned to her.

  “How'd it go? Was it as bad as you expected?”

  “It wasn't... too terrible,” Jun answered with a shrug. “She's willing to let me come home, so that's better than nothing. Some small part of me expected her to throw me out and tell me to live on the street.”

  “I'm glad it went well.”

  “It did. Well... for my mother, it went well enough.” She shrugged again. “It's not like she greeted me with a hug or said she missed me or anything. Not that I expected it... but it would've been nice.”

  For a fleeting second, Flynn thought about wrapping his arms around her and giving her the hug she didn't get from her mother. But he decided against it.

  “I guess this is really it, huh?” As she spoke, Jun's lips flipped into a frown. “I guess... you're really leaving, aren't you?”

  Flynn removed his hat and tucked it under his arm. “Yeah. I guess so.”

  “So... that's sad.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded in agreement. “It is.”

  “I'm going to miss you, you know,” Jun told him. “I'll miss you a lot.” I'll miss you more than I've ever missed anyone, her mind added.

  “I'll miss you too,” he somberly echoed the sentiment. “A lot.”

  “I wish you could stay awhile, but I know Julian wants to get back to Columbigo, so...” Jun could feel tears rushing into her eyes. She tried to blink them away, which only made them more persistent. Jun had to summon a tremendous wealth of willpower to stop her tears from falling.

  “Will you go somewhere with me first?” Flynn asked. “When I was exploring the village, I saw something, and I wanted to take you there.”

  “Of course!” Jun tried not to sound too eager, but she failed. Another few minutes with Flynn was priceless. “I'll go wherever you want to go.”

  As they headed to their secret destination, Flynn gently took Jun's hand. When she didn't pull away, his smile expanded across his face. “So... I've been thinking about my future,” he chatted as they walked. “Now that my brother's gone, I don't really have a reason to return to Columbigo.”

  “You don't?”

  “No. Besides, over there, I'm still a wanted man with a bounty on my head. It's not that I'm trying to run away, I was just... I was thinking I could make a go of it over here. In Hépíng. I can find a job, help out in the fields... maybe even build myself a house one day?”

  “Are you doing this because you think I'll be lonely?”

  “No, I'd be doing it because I need a fresh start and a change of scenery... unless you don't think the villagers would accept an outsider like me?”

  For some reason, Jun felt like smiling and crying at the same time. “It's not that they wouldn't accept you, I just don't think you--”

  “You can't talk me out of it,” Flynn interrupted. “I've already thought it over. Besides, it's beautiful here. I can think of worse places to lay down some roots.”

  “But it's so different from Columbigo. Everything is so different.”

  “Then it's a good thing I have you, because you'll help me adapt.” Flynn pointed ahead of them, where countless fragrant flowers capped a grassy hill. “Now, I need you to wait right here. To show you how serious I am, I'm going to climb that hill and collect the biggest bouquet of flowers you've ever seen, just like your father did for your mom when you were a little girl.”

  “Flynn...” He remembered. She couldn't believe he remembered her story. A smile crept across Jun's lips as she watched him scale the hill and bundle the peonies into his hand. As the bouquet grew, tears rushed into her eyes again. Joy and relief and a myriad of emotions flooded her heart all at once. He wasn't going to leave her. Flynn was going to stay.

  Flynn gathered so many flowers, he could barely hold onto them as he descended the hill and returned to Jun. Holding out the bundle of blossoms, he dropped to his knees in front of her. “Let me stay, Jun,” he begged her. “Let me stay with you. I don't care where I am, as long as I get to be with you. Wherever you go... that's where I want to be, because... you're special to me.”

  Jun accepted his massive gift of flora and held the honeyed flowers to her nose. “You're special to me too, Flynn.”

  “I don't want to be a burden to you, but I know if I left on that airship today, my heart would break into a thousand... no... a million pieces,” Flynn went on. “If you don't want to break me, you've got to let me stay.”

  “Well, I certainly wouldn't want you to break.” Jun's response was followed by a giggle. “But are you sure you don't want to go back to Columbigo?”

  “Ahhhh...” Flynn's head dropped between his shoulders. “Are you still trying to get rid of me?”

  Jun corrected him quickly. “No. What I mean is... I could go to Columbigo with you. If you'd rather live there, I'd be willing to go back with you. Of course, Julian might be mad at me for sending him across the ocean for no reason, but... I just want to be with you, Flynn. Wherever you want to go... whatever makes you happy... that's what I want to do!”

  “You want to be with me?” As Flynn slowly rose to his feet, he slapped a few sticky blades of grass from his breeches.

  “I do. I just want to be wherever you are, and nothing else matters.” Jun smiled so prettily, she almost sent him to his knees again. Shuchun Jun really was the loveliest girl Flynn had ever seen.

  “We'll go anywhere you want to go, Jun. I'll leave it up to you. We can stay here or we can return to Columbigo. I'm happy either way.”

  “I'm happy too.” Jun caught herself giggling again. Every time she looked at the flowers in her hands, she felt giddy. Flynn Cole made dreams come true.

  “Do you think... umm...” He started to wrap an arm around her, but something in him hesitated. Deep down, he felt as shy as ever. Bolstered by the joy in her eyes, he somehow managed the ask the question he'd been dying to ask since the first day they met. “Do you think I could kiss you now?”

  Jun's cheeks were as hot as her pulse was fast. “I think you could.”

  At long last, Flynn's lips touched hers, softly and gently, making her chest buzz with delight. As soon as she felt his mouth on hers, Jun knew she would never kiss another man for as long as she lived.

  Her heart was his. Forever.

  Thirty Seven

  “Having defeated the evil queen, the princess was finally free. The curse, which made it impossible to touch another human without turning them to stone, was broken. She hurried to the top of the tower, where the prince was waiting for her. He was
no longer a statue, so she ran into his arms and declared her love. She had become the most important person in the world to him, so he said he loved her too, and they celebrated their union with a kiss. In fact, some say it was the most passionate kiss of all time.”

  As soon as he read the last line, Josiah closed the book with a snap. There were three little girls on his bed. The oldest were seven and nine, and they were patients in the hospital, just like he was. The littlest girl was the Carol look-alike he saved from the fire, and while she was too young to appreciate the story, she seemed to enjoy her spot on Josiah's lap.

  “You should probably know, not all stories have a happy ending,” Josiah warned them. “But... I guess this one did.”

  “I like happy endings!” declared Lulu, the seven-year-old. “Will you read us another one?”

  “Girls.” They were interrupted by a nurse, who scooped the smallest child from Josiah's lap. “We should leave Mr. Cole alone. He needs to get some rest, and you do too.”

  “But I like it when he reads to us!” Lulu whined. None of the girls seemed happy to part from his company, but she was the outspoken one.

  “Then he can read to you another time.” The nurse, Clara, gently pushed the two children in the direction of the door. “Now let's say goodbye to him and be on our way.”

  The girls mumbled simultaneously:

  “Goodbye, Josiah!”

  “Bye Mr. Cole!”

  As the nurse escorted them from the room, the littlest girl sucked her fist, while the older girls debated over who was going to marry him one day. Josiah was grateful for Clara's intervention. He enjoyed the girls' company, but his plans for the day didn't involve reading to children. He needed to find Carol and Patrick and let them know he made it out of the fire. Patchy burns covered his legs, back and neck, but it wasn't enough to keep him in bed. He needed to escape the hospital.

  When the nurses weren't watching him, Josiah found his clothes in a drawer, stripped out of his hospital gown, and hopped into his breeches—which was still difficult with one arm. He barely had them buttoned before Clara returned.