[fan] diviners trilogy - complete series

by Nicolette Andrews

  Before we approached Mother Lake, we began to encounter other clans. They ranged in size from ten or fewer to as large as several hundred. Thero waved and shared news, chatting with his friends and acquaintances in their native tongue. The wagons the others drove were covered in the bright tapestries common among their people, decorated with different animals, and all the men had the same long beards with beads and sometimes feathers. Every clan we met, Thero asked about the delegates. None had seen them, much to my growing woe.

  We travelled with the other clans in a stream of caravans, children, dogs and livestock for a few more weeks. It had been two months since I joined the Running River Clan when we arrived at Mother Lake. It was a cold day. The first bites of winter had sunk its claws into the land. I saw Mother Lake hours before we reached its shore. It was vast, like a sea unto itself. The lake was blue and smooth across, like a polished mirror. The sky reflected in it, and the clouds drifted across the surface lazily as if a piece of the sky had fallen to earth. The surrounding land was hilly and covered in long grasses. Tracks had been made in the grass where wagons and animals had pushed through. Scattered around the banks of the lake were hundreds if not thousands of tents in small groupings. Fire pits had already been constructed, and smoke curled up to the sky. As we rode through the groupings of tents, looking for a place to settle in, I looked about for signs of Elenna and the others. I saw no familiar faces among them, but Thero and the others did. They called out to different clans, shouting in their mother tongue.

  Thero continued to ask about the delegates, but time and again he came up empty-handed. I told him not to, but he insisted. I left him to the fruitless search. One group in particular Shewa saw and broke apart from the clan to greet. She shouted to them, and a round woman came from around a wagon, holding a ladle and with her arms outstretched to receive Shewa. A group of children ran up to her, chattering and pulling at her skirts.

  “Shewa’s mother’s clan,” Yellen said to me with a smile.

  I stopped to regard the reunion. Shewa looked like her mother. She had a kind face. Shewa put a hand to her stomach and beamed as she spoke with her mother. Her mother clapped her hands and hugged her daughter once more. Her mother stroked her growing belly. It must be nice to have a family. I thought of Damara back in Neaux. I prayed she was safe and she could sway Arlene from this war. Our caravan was moving away, and Thero waited for me.

  “She’ll find us later once she has had a chance to catch up,” he said.

  After our talk I was less nervous around him but not by much. “It must be difficult for her to be away from those she loves.” I was not sure if I spoke more for myself or her.

  He nodded. “It is difficult for new brides to join a clan, but in five or ten years, they go back home less and less as the duties of their new clan take precedence. They learn not to look back, only forward to the road ahead.”

  I contemplated his words. They were wise and ones I had to remind myself to heed. All that remains is for me to stop the specter. Elenna had hoped to avoid dying to protect me, but she still sacrificed her life for me. Beau, too, followed me to his demise. Now he’ll never be reunited with Sabine. I have to keep moving forward for them.

  “When will we seek out the oracle?” I said, focusing on my own road ahead.

  He shrugged. “When she arrives, she will seek you out, I am sure.”

  “You mean she is not here?” I looked over the vast gathering of people. How could she not be among this throng of people; there were so many.

  He noticed my gaze. “This is only a small portion of our people. You will see; by the third day, we will be as numerous as the stars in the sky.”

  I had never seen this many people gathered in one place before. To think there was more was beyond comprehension. How can I find the oracle among so many?

  We made camp around the lake’s edge in a space between two other clans around the same size as the Running River Clan. The goats were penned up and bleated plaintively as the boys hurried them into their paddock. I had been given the chore of keeping the children out from underfoot. I was playing a game where we hid among the tall grasses and waited for unsuspecting passersby to snatch at them and bring them into the hiding place. The one who caught the most players at the end of the game was the winner. I found it easier to be with the children because there was no need for us to share a language. They understood me in their own way.

  Shewa did not return until three days later. She came back on the first night of the solstice celebration. According to Thero, it was seven days of feasting and dancing. Shewa returned to the camp when the sun was beginning to set, and she had a bundle slung under one arm. The children and I had retired in camp for the evening and were enjoying some sweet bread Nia had given us. We had been playing all day, watching the clans roll in. Thero had not lied, the Biski seemed to number more than the stars above, and they only kept coming. If someone could convince them to fight, they could be a powerful force, I thought as I watched the thousands of campfires twinkling in the growing dusk. I felt Johai; he was nearby somewhere in this sea of people. He was waiting for me. He can convince them to fight. How can I stop him?

  Shewa spotted me and rushed over. She smiled at me and gestured with her free hand as she spoke rapidly. I laughed and shook my head. She only smiled wider and grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the tent we shared. I was confused but decided to play along anyway. Inside the tent, she set down her bundle and patted the space on her blankets for me to sit. I sat down cross-legged and looked up at her, expecting her to do the same. She did not; instead she went behind me and pulled the ribbon which had tied my hair back. She undid the braid I had kept my hair in and let my hair hang loose down my back.

  “What are you doing?” I asked her as I tried to crane my neck backwards and get a better look.

  She turned my head forward and said something in the Biski tongue.

  “Well, I guess I’ll see,” I replied.

  She tugged at my hair and separated it into a few sections. She continued to pull and tug, pausing every few minutes. A small braid fell forward against my shoulder. I touched the weaved pattern. She wants to braid my hair. How strange. The sensation of her fingers on my scalp was soothing, and I let her work. I relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of her braiding my hair. I let my mind wander as she worked. Once she was done, she patted my shoulder. There were no mirrors in the tent, but I ran my hands over the braids, marveling at the change in texture to my hair. They felt tight on my scalp and oddly heavy. As I moved, my hair tinkled and clanked. I realized she had tied little beads and bells in my hair.

  “Thank you very much.” I smiled at her, and she patted my shoulder once more.

  I had grown attached to these people in my short time with them. They had made me feel as if I were a part of the clan and not an outsider. I had not realized how long it had been since someone had made me feel that way.

  Shewa picked up the bundle and untied the wrapping. Inside was a white gown made of some gossamer fabric. I touched the smooth fabric, and I was shocked by how fine it was. How can they make something this nice? I wondered. She held it up, and it had long sleeves, with a low collar, and draped down to the floor. The cut was simple but elegant. On the hem was a golden border made of interlocking ferns.

  “It’s very beautiful,” I said.

  She put it in my hands. “Dress,” she said in Danhadine.

  My eyes widened. This was much too delicate for me to wear—I had no right at all. “I couldn’t.” I shook my head, and I tried to hand the gown back to her.

  She shook her head as well and pressed the dress back into my hands. I rubbed the fine silk between my fingers and contemplated it. If she wants me to, I suppose it would not hurt. Shewa slipped out of the tent door as I dressed. I slid off my rough-spun gown and let it fall to the floor. I slipped on the white dress, and it slid on easily. It did not quite fit right in the bust and waist, but overall it was comfortable.

  It had a lo
w waist, which hit me at the hips. The sleeves were long and billowing, nearly swallowing my hands. Shewa returned with a gold sash and tied it around my waist. Since there were no mirrors, I had to go by Shewa’s expression, and from the way her smile grew and she clapped her hands together, I thought it might look good on me.

  I moved towards the doorway, my hair jangling. Shewa followed me out. Outside, the camp had grown dark, and those gathered around the fire had long shadows on their faces. The men’s eyes swiveled in our direction, and Thero’s second son, Heth, stood up as I approached. We were of an age. He was growing a beard, which came in sparsely, hardly covering his chin.

  He motioned for me to take a seat beside him. I looked about the fire as I sat down. None of the other women were dressed as elaborately as me. However, everyone did have on clean clothes with their hair braided, though not as intricately as mine.

  “Why are the other women not dressed this way?” I asked Thero.

  He laughed. “I apologize I did not explain earlier. It is tradition that the du-toath initiates dress this way to present themselves to the Mother. They dance the longest dance in homage to the Mother who gave birth to us all. As a dreau, you too should join in the dance.”

  I had hoped to blend in with the crowd. I did not want to draw attention upon myself. It might help me search out Johai. I lifted up my sleeve, which trailed after me. He would not recognize me dressed like this, I suspect. It had been so long since I had dreamed of Johai, I wondered what he had done over the past few months. What will I do if we meet? Thero patted me on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’ll have fun.” It may be fun to dance, and there are so many people here, we may never run into one another at all.

  With the sun down, a few of the adults and Thero’s older sons went out to the gathering. Wey, Nia and the other mothers stayed behind to watch the children. I walked at the back of the group, my arms wrapped about my upper torso. I could see the flames of a massive bonfire reflected onto the surface of the lake. I was mesmerized by the lights dancing on the water; they seemed ethereal and strange. As we headed towards the gathering, I saw other women dressed in a similar fashion to myself. Hair braided into a multitude of tiny braids and wearing white gowns. It made me feel better and a little less out of place. Where are the men? Men also become du-toath. A thought nagged at the back of my mind, but I could not put my mind around it.

  When we grew closer to the gathering, the noise washed over me. Music threaded through the night along with the sounds of the people’s laughter. Beneath the orange light of the bonfire, I saw shadows of moving figures, limbs were swaying and bodies pressed together. We reached the outer circle, which enclosed the dancing people. I planned on hanging back, observing their culture from a distance.

  The dancers were comprised of mainly couples, limbs entwined in a dance that seemed much more intimate than mere dancing. Men and women moved to the music, hips grinding and hands caressing. I blushed to turn away and found Hett standing beside me with a smile. He held his hand out and nodded toward the dancing group.

  I tried to refuse, but he did not understand my meaning. He pulled my hand and dragged me out into the dancing circle despite my protests. Since I’m dressed for the part, I may as well dance. I danced at arm’s length from Hett. I would dance, but I would not let him grope me like the other men were doing to the initiates.

  He led me to an inner circle beside the fire. He put his hand on my hip and guided me to sway with the beating of the drums. The motion felt awkward at first. I was accustomed to the more structured dancing of court. Though I was uncertain at first, the drumming and the beating of the many feet worked through me, and I found my rhythm. Hett kept his hand on my hip, and we swayed together. A couple times we fumbled, and I would laugh to dispel my nervousness. He twirled me, and I spun around, the skirt of my dress flaring out about me.

  As we danced, the crowd thinned. From the corner of my eye, I noticed passionate embraces leading into the tall grass outside the circle of light being cast by the bonfire. Almost all the women wore white like me, and I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. Did I misunderstand something that Thero told me? As if reading my thoughts, Hett pulled me closer and ground his hips into my pelvis. What have I gotten myself into? I pulled away and tried to disentangle myself from him before he got the wrong impression. I pushed back on his chest as he came in closer, leaning for my neck. His muscles flexed beneath my hands as I attempted to push him away. He did not understand my meaning and leaned down to kiss me. I turned my head away.

  I shook my head. “No. I…” How did I explain how I felt, that my heart belonged to another?

  Something caught my eye, a flash of white that was different from the fluttering gowns around me. A couple slid out into the darkness, and I saw it again, white hair haloed against the night sky. I had been distracted, and I had not noticed his approach. Now I felt it like a fire waiting to consume me from within. I gasped, and my feet were planted to the ground. It cannot be. How did he find me here? There are thousands of people gathered at this lake. He smiled as he approached. It was a dangerous, predatory grin. He is as drawn to me as I am to him, I realized. We are linked.

  His hair was loose and billowing behind him. The light of the bonfire had given it an orange cast, and the darkness of his eyes was even more accentuated by the night. It looks just like him, but he’s not the same anymore. He bowed from the waist in a courtly manner. “Lady Diranel, what a pleasant surprise.”

  I was terrified. He was calm and dangerous, regarding me with night-dark eyes, asking as if we had met by chance at court. What game is he playing? He must know why I am here.

  My throat was too dry to respond. What happened in Keisan? I wanted to ask. What are you plotting? Did you send that horrible flood to drown the diplomatic delegation?

  While I stood staring, Johai spoke to Hett in a low tone. Hett scowled at Johai, turned his back on him, and held out his hand to me. I knew I would be safer to go with him, but I also feared if I did, he would expect me to follow him out into the night like the other dancing couples. Will Johai harm me here, in front of everyone? What is his plan? He could have killed me before I ever spotted him if he wanted. Dare I trust him now? I shook my head at Hett. He frowned and said something to Johai in an agitated tone while gesturing with a pointed finger before he stomped away without looking at me again.

  I gazed at Johai, unsure of what to do next. I knew we would meet again; I had just hoped to be better prepared for the meeting. I hoped I would be more powerful when this happened. His face was just as it had been in my dreams. Unchanged but for the black eyes that were nothing like Johai’s. His face, oh Goddess, it was his face and his voice, but I knew it was not my Johai who spoke and moved this way—he was a stranger to me.

  He turned to face me once more. I could feel the power radiating off of him. It was warmer than the bonfire nearby, and his very presence was intoxicating. The draw I had felt in Neaux was more powerful here, and I felt like a moth drawn to the flame. It was a dangerous attraction that if I could not control it, it could mean my death.

  “Shall we dance, just like that time in Keisan?” he said, holding his hand out to me.

  I gasped, remembering King Dallin’s fete. I had danced with Johai, the real one. I had hated him then, suspecting he had taken my memories away for his own gain. How very far we were from that place and the people we were, but the tension remained. This is not Johai but evil wearing his face, remember that. I looked over my shoulder, considering fleeing. My companions had disappeared. I was alone, with the enemy.

  “I won’t harm you, Maea. You freed me, gave me this body.” He brushed a hand over his front. He leaned in close so his breath ruffled the braids by my ear. “Besides, you and I were meant for one another.” His words were coaxing, and I felt myself being lulled into submission, though my brain shouted to stop.

  He held out his hand once more, and I took it. He pulled me close enough that I felt every inch of his body aga
inst mine. I melted into his embrace. My brain knew that this person wasn’t Johai but a façade, but my body responded to him nonetheless. My body ached for him and the things that were not meant to be for us.

  We moved together as we danced, and it felt as if the music was running through us. Thrumming through my veins and making me light-headed. His hands slid down the small of my back and cupped my buttocks. I gasped as he did so, and I looked up into the dark eyes. Those are not his eyes. They are the eyes of a monster. The thought sobered me and brought back some of my senses.

  I pulled away as much as his grasp would let me. My breathing was painful, and my body was aching for him in a way I had never experienced before. I couldn’t let this go any further.

  “You do not deserve his body. I will stop you yet,” I said, trying to sound powerful when I really felt like I would melt in his hands.

  He smiled as he twirled me. He brushed his hands over my shoulders. “This symbolizes that you have yet to be deflowered. This dance is the virgin dance. Women who dedicate themselves to the Mother entice the men who they wish to couple with. It is an old tradition among these people and a rite of passage for the dreau.”

  I stared at him, wide-eyed. This is why they had dressed me up, to let me partner with some man? Possibly one I had never met before? Thero and his clan may be different, but they would not deceive me.

  “You’re lying to unsettle me,” I said, and I tried to look away from him.

  He grabbed my chin and forced me to look him in the eye. “You are still so naive. But it’s better this way; that’s how I want you.” He leaned in and planted a kiss on my lips. I thought to fight him, but the feel of him and the taste was just like Johai. He pulled away, and I felt an ache so profound I had to hold my arms around myself to keep from reaching out to him. It’s not him, remember that. “I’m glad you came to me, Maea. It will make the game that much more fun.”

  I thought I would fall to my knees from how weak they felt. He smiled again, a ruthless evil smile, and left me standing staring after him full of longing and self-loathing.