The Merchant Adventurer
Page 20
“I don’t think this is a very good idea. I’m really not comfortable–”
“En-henh,” said Boltac, “So you know the first rule of being a Knight?”
“No, see, I don’t even know what the first rule is!”
“The first rule is you obey the King.”
“Right,” Relan nodded. “Obey the King.”
“Now kneel and hold still so I can knight you.”
“To Knight him you need a sword,” said Rattick, “Shall I go get a blade for you?”
“Wrong again, Rattick. You are a natural at this job. No swords. No more disguising a fancy club by calling it a scepter.” Boltac picked up an ornate scale from a stand beside the throne. Boltac carefully touched Relan on one shoulder and then the next. Then he said, “Deal fairly with all. Now arise, Sir Relan, first Knight of Robrecht.”
“But…” protested Relan.
“Obey!” said the King. After Relan stood Boltac said, “Congratulations, the both of you. Sir Relan, I expect great things from you. Minister, I expect horrible things from you. The good and the bad. Now get outta here. Both of you. You too, Chamberlain. No more visitors. Court’s closed.”
As they left the room Asarah entered.
Boltac smiled at her and asked, “And where have you been?”
“Well, my liege,” she said with a playful curtsy, “I have been surveying our new home. And I have learned something very important about it. It is very damp.”
“Damp?”
“Damp. Moisture from the river seems to creep up the stones. This place is frightfully clammy. If I didn’t know better, I would say that it was enchanted. Cursed even.”
“So, it just needs a good airing out, maybe?”
Asarah laughed. “Oh, no. No, no, no. This place is not homey at all. It will not do. Drafty, damp, strong-looking on the outside but in no way impressive or refined. Perhaps it is enough for a second-rate Duke, but for a King…” She tsked. “It will not do. We must build you a castle, my liege.”
Boltac sighed. All of a sudden he felt very tired. Everyone turning to him, asking what should be done. Always more questions, more problems and fewer answers. Was he even doing any of this right? Was this what being a King was all about? Now that he had time to think about it, he wondered if he’d ever get the hang of it.
He walked over to the wooden throne and sat down on it heavily. “Ennh,” he said, listening to the creaking and feeling the sharp edges of the chair bite into his legs. “This chair is not a quality item.”
“Well, have another one made.” She took his hand and nodded encouragingly at him. “After all, you are a King now. You get to have things the way you want them.”
“If we have to build a new castle, I’m not sure I can afford things the way I want them.”
She kissed him on the cheek and said, “Don’t be cheap. It’s unbecoming of your station.”
“Enh-henh,” he said. Then he kissed her and, for a moment, forgot all the worries of being a King.
Now What?
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www.patrickemclean.com
The World’s Most Dangerous About the Author Blurb.
You know those “About the Author” blurbs that begin with poignant details from the writer’s childhood? The ones that quickly move through a series of credentials and accomplishments so impressive that they make you feel that if you don’t buy a book, everyone will recognize you for the uncultured Phillistine 1 that you are? Yeah, this is not that kind of author blurb. This is the other kind.
This is an About the Author blurb that actually tells you about the author. If you stick with this blurb it will tell you that Patrick has been shot, has fallen off a mountain, was once framed for a crime he did not commit — that he has gambled with his rent money and knows how to replace the water pump in a 1966 Chrysler. It will also explain to you that, much like a lost boy raised by wolves, he was brought up by economists and can interpret the strange dances and guttural utterances of their dismal tribe. But most of all this blurb wants you to know that Patrick can write. That he puts words and concepts and characters together in a way that will make your synapses light up like an accident in an unlicensed fireworks factory. Yes, a substance that powerful should be made illegal. But before that happens, you’ve got a chance to go to www.patrickemclean.com to get more of his writing.
If you don’t use this chance, Patrick won’t hold it against you. After all, he’s a nice, easy-going kind of guy. But this Blurb will know. And believe me, this is one “About the Author” blurb you don’t want to cross.
Editor’s Note – Patrick put an extra l in Phillistine here just to make sure it STAYED down. Don’t let him fool you. He’s also a little dangerous. Especially with a consonant close to hand. ↩