Until I Met You

by S. L. Scott

  The photos were introduced to the judge again and she wished she didn’t have to hear the horrors they concocted. As the judge examined them, she stole a peek down the long line of people that kept her heart apart from her body. Hazel’s head was lowered and his eyes closed as he rubbed his temples. But he looked up as a woman sat down behind him. Her mother?

  When the officers escorted her home, Jude’s stepfather and aunt were in the formal living room. Jude dropped to the hard, marble tiles of the foyer wishing she would shatter to the point of nonexistence. “You got what you wanted.”

  Her aunt smiled and said, “Not quite yet, darling. But soon.”

  What more can they take? Jude had nothing left, nothing that mattered to her.

  She found out soon enough. The deal had been made. One year. One year and all that remained of the inheritance. One year in exchange for her life. Enough time to get the money transferred into offshore accounts with no suspicious activity attached. And for that, she was promised no more Bleekman’s in the meantime. They would give her everything she wanted back—her freedom, her happiness, her husband—if she just gave them one year and the money.

  After Jude sold her soul to the devil himself, she went upstairs, then realized her mother had been missing from the witch-hunt. She had looked back once, for any sign of her, but she remained absent.

  Isla stood up and joined Jude’s mother on Hazel’s side of the courtroom. She had no idea what she was up to or if she should even trust her, but when she saw the sympathy that laid heavy in Isla’s face, she wondered if maybe she suddenly had an ally. Nothing in her life made sense anymore and it was wearing her down. Seeing two of what she considered former foes supporting the good side made her smile. And Isla softly smiled in return.

  Until her lawyer spoke of Parkinson’s and how it cuts a young life even shorter. Hazel was right. Everything about them had been sold in exchange for money. Could this really only be about money? She couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Stop.”

  At her demand, the entire courtroom looked her way.

  The judge asked, “What was that?”

  Jude’s eyes blinked rapidly as the imaginary interrogation lamp was spotlighting her. She slid down in her a chair and in the softest voice repeated herself, “Please stop attacking him.”

  She didn’t dare venture a glimpse at Hazel. She would break and right now she was fighting to be strong.

  The judge eyed her. “Ms. Boehler, please remain quiet during the proceedings. You’ve hired a lawyer to represent you. Let him do his job.”

  “Don’t talk to her like that.”

  The gavel came slamming down as everyone’s attention turned to Taylor, who had just spoken. The judge demanded, “Mr. Barrett. Sit down or I’ll have you removed.”

  Caleb pulled Taylor by the arm until he was sitting next to him again. “Shut it,” he insisted under his breath.

  The Boehler’s lawyer went for the jugular. “This is the type of behavior we have listed in the order. He’s unpredictable and lets his emotions get the better of him. Ms. Boehler is a sick woman who needs care around the clock, supervision that doesn’t involve someone else’s agenda. Their marriage is a sham. He coerced her into marrying him when she was medicated without clear thoughts. She was in no position to make that kind of judgment about her future.”

  “I object!” Caleb said, standing up. “What did he have to gain from coercing her? He has his own money.”

  Taylor was shell-shocked, bombed in the middle of Manhattan by this turn in focus. He turned to the only one who gave him comfort, but she wouldn’t look his way. His heart thudded on as it soldiered through this field of mines.

  “Overruled.”

  The lawyer went into deep documentation to point out all attempts that Taylor had forced her to spend time with him. Every gallery brochure, business card from a restaurant, and flower he had given her was being used against him.

  Jude felt sick. All of her memorabilia was on display, the truth twisted. Every last thing she had taken to remember their time together was now tainted and manipulated into something bad. Tears started to fill her eyes as the lies replaced her life. Her. Life. For. His. Sold to the tune of seven million dollars. She didn’t let her tears fall, needing to put on her bravest face. It would soon be over and by how things sounded like they were going, she would start serving her one-year sentence soon enough.

  As soon as Caleb started into his own argument, the other lawyer pulled his biggest hit. He slammed down a file and said, “Let’s not overlook the details that Mr. Monroe does not want you to see.”

  Judge Matthews had a reputation of shutting down antics in his courtroom, but even he seemed intrigued enough to want to know, despite Caleb’s objection.

  To the horror and humiliation of Jude, the photos were shown for all to see, along with a medical report showing that she had indeed been prescribed medication two days prior to marrying Taylor. She shook her head in disgust. Prescribed didn’t mean taking. She was so frustrated by the accusations. She had never agreed to this. She would have never agreed to attacking his character or their love. But she had to let it go because she had to let him go.

  But as Jude’s lawyer continued, no charges had yet to be filed against Dr. Conroy, so his word sealed their fate. “She is not of sound mind.”

  Three hours later, Caleb walked Taylor out of the courtroom and down to the lobby. Taylor caught in a daze.

  “What just happened?”

  “I’ll file an appeal as soon as I get back to the office.”

  Still shocked by the outcome, Taylor pointed in the direction of the courtroom. “Caleb, what the fuck just happened in there?”

  Caleb shook his head.

  Taylor ran his hands through his hair. “So the restraining order got dropped. But he just annulled my marriage?”

  “He did.”

  “On what grounds? Make it clear for me. Layman’s terms.”

  Caleb knew better than to get into details this close to the courthouse, but by looking at Taylor, he had no choice. “Bottom line—she was coerced while medicated.”

  “We were in there for an unjustified restraining order. How did our marriage come into play?”

  “It’s all intertwined, Taylor. They filed the paperwork this morning. I don’t know why Matthews accepted it. To save time? The marriage. The conservatorship. And the medical records. A doctor went on record to say she suffers from insanity and needs her parents’ care.”

  His world was crumbling around him, and his right hand began to tremble. “What am I supposed to do?”

  Caleb sighed. “Go home. Get some rest. We’ll try again another day. We’ll fight this until we win, but right now I need to get to my office and find out how we were fucking blindsided in there.”

  “In the meantime, she’ll die. They’ll kill her one way or the other. Didn’t you hear? She has seven million dollars on the line. Wonder how much they’ve made her sign away.”

  “That’s a good idea. We can try to find out how much is left of it when we’re waiting on the appeal. That can prove motive.”

  Taylor felt numb and physically beaten. He struggled to hold onto hope when he lost his whole reason for being. Unable to find reason in this insanity, he asked, “How long will the appeal take?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll file for a new judge to hear the case.”

  “Caleb, tell me there’s a possibility. That there’s a chance of winning here.”

  “I’m not even sure what we’re fighting anymore.”

  Fuck!

  JUDE’S MOTHER APPROACHED Taylor and Caleb around the corner outside the courthouse. Taylor, surprised to see her coming his way, stopped. He saw sadness in her eyes, and he watched as she took a deep breath.

  “My daughter would like to speak with you a moment.”

  He didn’t know why she was speaking for Jude. Why could Jude not just come over to him? But like what his lawyer would advise, he knew she was told not to.
He shook his head, disappointed and hurt that they now required a messenger between them. Looking over her shoulder for any sign of Jude, he asked, “Why were you on my side of the courtroom?”

  “Because…” she glanced at Caleb, shifting uncomfortably, and whispered, “love should win.” She walked away, leaving that sentiment lingering long after.

  Caleb warned, “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  “I don’t care anymore.”

  When Jude’s mother returned, Jude was on her arm arguing with her. As soon as she saw Hazel, she went silent, then broke down. Jude stood there in her wrinkled sundress with her face buried in her hands, her shoulders shaking from the devastation. When she looked up at him, she knew they weren’t going to have their happy ending. Too much pain. Too much slanderous torment had divided them.

  But despite all the water that had passed under their decaying bridge, they stood there, their hearts still beating only for the other.

  “Why aren’t you looking at me, Jude?” When she closed her eyes and put her hands over her face again, he demanded, “Look at me!”

  “I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can.”

  “No,” she cried. “I can’t. Please.”

  “Please what? What are you doing? Are you siding with them?”

  “I’m not siding with them. I’m not. I just can’t do this.”

  “This? And by ‘this,’ you mean be with me?” Tilting his head back, he closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

  “Taylor, pleas—”

  “Don’t call me that. Don’t you fucking call me that!” He pointed his finger at her in anger. “You’re giving up. You’re giving up on us. Giving up on us is the same as you giving up on yourself. I can afford to fight this for as long as we need to fight. But I can’t do it without you.” He felt frantic and took her hands in his. She was warm, recalling a million other gentle touches from their past. “Jude, listen, I’m here, however you need me, but don’t think for a minute that us being apart is going to solve anything. We will always be stronger together. I’ll take care of it, Jude. I promise.”

  She wished he would repeat that promise and make it come true, but she knew he couldn’t. And more importantly, she knew what she had to do to prevent any further damage, namely his. The deal she had made shrouded her heart and blocked her faith—her life for his.

  Pulling her hands back, she turned her back to him. She couldn’t handle her own tears, so his tears would do her in completely. She cleared her throat and barely above a whisper, said, “I can’t be with you. I can’t handle my own problems, so I can’t take on yours.” He tore down the invisible wall she had built and took hold of her arm, spinning her around to face him again. “Go, Hazel. A better life awaits.”

  “No.” He lifted her chin. “Look at me. You’re not going to fight? You’re just going to walk away from me?”

  “I’m doing the best I can. You won’t understand, but it’s how things have to be.”

  “Why? I know you. I know you think what you’re doing is right, but setting me free, telling me to go live my life without you is not what’s right. What have they done to you?”

  Her tears slowed as she looked at him, really looked at him. “Did I ever tell you that you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, even on the saddest day I’ve ever known?”

  “Jude, don’t do this. I need you here. Don’t close yourself off to me.”

  “Please, Hazel.” She slipped when she called him the name she swore she wouldn’t anymore. That name held all her feelings in it and pain shot through her heart. “Please, just go with it.”

  As he studied her face, her tears drying against her porcelain skin, he saw the wall firmly in place—whether for his protection or hers, he wasn’t sure, but he knew he wasn’t going to get her back on a busy street corner in New York City. So he gave in, knowing this was not the time for arguments, knowing she needed him to, and lightened their last moments together. “Not handsome?”

  Jude touched his cheek, unable to stop herself. “One doesn’t stand before the ocean and call it handsome. We didn’t stare at the stars last April and say it was a handsome night. Love knows only the beauty of its power, not the intricacies of verses. So no, Hazel, you’re not handsome. You’re beautiful like the stars. You’re beautiful like the ocean. You’re beautiful like the love I feel for you.”

  “This feels final,” he said, his fingers running up her arm until he was cupping her hand on his cheek. He had to try one last time despite the passersby. “I’ve designed a closet for you. It’s huge, the size of a bedroom. Just for you. For all the dresses you’ll own.”

  “I’ll always live in that beautiful home, but it will be in my dreams.” Her hand dropped to her side and her heart finally stopped beating as she uttered the most painful six words she would ever speak, “This is where our story ends.”

  Her ache was visceral. The sound of her heart breaking rang in her ears as shards filled her blood stream. She backed away, her chest barren of beats or purpose. Turning away from him and his impossible eyes, she needed to block him out as his tears welled like hers.

  “Jude, no. Please,” he said, his words rushed, “I’m begging you. Choose me. Choose us.”

  “You deserve a better life. You deserve the best life.” She stopped speaking, not wanting to say it. Jude knew she should, her own maddening reasoning that brought her here needing to be buried for him, for his happiness. “Everything about our lives dictates that maybe, maybe you should give Katherine a second chance.”

  Sideswiped by her words, he stepped back from her. “What? What are you talking about?”

  She would use anything to walk away from him, leaving him as unscathed as she could. “When you’re sick, she’ll hire the best nurses to care for you.”

  Jude’s head dropped down as tears flooded her eyes again.

  Too much pain.

  The thought of him sick, the thought of a nurse caring for him, the thought of him spending his final days without her broke her.

  Her mother touched Jude’s arm. “We’ve got to go. They’re looking for you.”

  The harsh ticking of time chimed in their ears, rushing the last few seconds they had together. Jude said, “I tried to kill myself after Ryan died because I had nothing to live for any longer.”

  Taylor knew she was pushing him away. He didn’t know why, but he knew she would only do this if she had to. So even if he couldn’t have her, he still wanted her to be safe. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he held her firmly, needing her attention. “You have to live for you.” He demanded, “Promise me, Jude, when you feel alone, you’ll live.” His voice faltered. “I can’t live knowing you no longer breathe, that you no longer walk this world with your love, with your life.”

  She pressed herself against him, needing to hear his heartbeat one last time. “I never had a reason to live before. But now, I can live because I’ve loved and I’ve been loved.” She looked up at him, her eyes pink from crying, and smiled. “Our love was spectacularly wonderful.”

  “And reckless.” He breathed her in.

  “The most reckless of love affairs.”

  Touching her neck gently, he always loved the delicate angle. “Jude?”

  “I’ll never forget you, Hazel.” She slipped from his arms and took several steps away.

  “I’ll never forget you,” he added. “I’ll never forget the first time I saw you. I’ll never forget eating ice cream in the middle of winter. I’ll never crave breakfast like I do for dinner.”

  “Don’t do this, Hazel.”

  “What am I doing, Jude?”

  Backing even farther, she said, “You think you’re convincing me of a future that can be when really, you’re convincing yourself.” Sighing, she tilted her head while watching him pull at his tie. “Go now, before you say something that I can’t say no to. Go back to your beautiful life. You’re free to start over without the problems I bring. Go, Taylor.” She started walking, but sto
pped and said, “But occasionally, think of me.”

  “I don’t believe you, Jude Barrett.” He let her go this time, but made sure to say, “You can’t hide your love away forever. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here and we’ll be together again.”

  Jude had no doubt.

  Suddenly she was grabbed and embraced. Her eyes fell closed and this was everything. Everything that mattered. He felt so good, too good—warmth and safety, like ice cream on a hot day, and hot cocoa on a cold night. He was made of the best things in life.

  “We can leave together. Go right now. Anywhere. Anywhere in the world, Jude. They will never find us. They will never find you. They won’t be able to hurt you anymore.”

  She turned her back to him again, but heard shuffling behind her. Almost to herself, she said, “I’m not as strong as you think I am.”

  “You’re stronger,” he said, his voice echoing his persistence. “You’ve just forgotten.”

  “I need peace in my life. That means life without you.” The silence behind her grew as she continued, “I will always love you, Hazel.” She wanted to keep distancing herself but she loved him too much to ignore the name she loved the most.

  As she walked away, she thought about the year ahead. She was right to set him free. She couldn’t hold him back from living the life he deserved. Staring at the long sidewalk ahead of her, she knew she had to let him go. For now. And if he found happiness, found a better life without her, she would let him go forever.

  Legally, her aunt and stepfather owned her again. With her heavy, miserable and broken heart she travelled back to her incarceration.

  One more year.

  Taylor stood there, watching her, watching his soul leave his body, choosing to reside in another. The battle today was over. Defeat was never easily accepted. Heartbreak even harder. Caleb stood beside him and watched Jude go, and then asked, “Do you believe her?”

  Looking over at him, he said, “No. She’s not a selfish person. They know this.”

  “What are you going to do?”