Things that Go Bump in the Night

by BA Tortuga

  “I….” He blinked, the world going a touch sparkly around the edges. Damn it, the Boss had no call to come back for him tonight. Or tomorrow.

  He was fired, damn it.

  “Hey. Hey, come on.” Those hands landed on his arms, pulling him along. “No passing out in the yard, huh?”

  “Right. No passing out.” He tilted his head, thinking. “Why do people say passing out? Passing out of what?” That was just stupid.

  “Uh…. Hell if I know.” They got into the house, Collin sitting him right down on the couch.

  He leaned forward, keeping his back off the upholstery. “It just seems odd, you know?”

  “I guess. Never thought about it. You be okay here while I get some food?”

  “I’ll be fine. Is it hard to get a blowjob out here in the sticks?”

  He thought Collin might fall down, backpedaling the way he did. “No. I mean, how would I know? I don’t do girls… I mean. Steak. Be right back.”

  Now, honestly. He could tell this man needed a blow more than anyone he’d met.

  Not long after Collin ran, he could smell steaks on the grill pan, and the scent was enough to make his mouth water.

  Gaz stood, following his nose.

  His cock.

  Maybe both.

  Collin was tossing up salad, the steaks sizzling away, and the man was studiously not looking at him.

  “You know, sex is not inherently evil. In fact, you could say it was a holy act….”

  “A holy….” Collin turned, laughing, those eyes just dancing. “How do you figure that? And Lord knows, I don’t think sex is dirty. I just hate thinking about doing the nasty when you’re all scraped up.”

  “Well, you just seemed so fucked-up when I discussed blowjobs. I get that, though. Pain during sex is an intensely subjective thing.”

  “Made me think of you blowing me is all.” Crusty bread came out of a bag, and then Collin grabbed a big knife. Pain. Right.

  “I think that could be a decent way to spend an evening.” In fact, it would probably be a fantastic way to spend a weekend, really.

  “Yeah? Well….” Those cheeks were fiery red. He wondered what they would feel like in his hands. On his cock. “Eat up first.”

  “Thank you.” He dug into the food, humming happily at the salt and blood and water and spice. Food. He loved food. He loved humans. Especially hungry, alive, vibrant ones.

  Like this one.

  “Oh hell, I forgot the potatoes.” Collin sat and started eating too, though. Crunching that damned salad.

  “Why were you out and about? Were you working?”

  “Sort of.” The last of the steak disappeared, that pink tongue flicking at the fork. “I was doing community service.”

  “Ah. That sounds… righteous.”

  “Fuck you. Court ordered. Ringing a fucking bell for some fucking charity that doesn’t approve of guys like me. Or you, for that matter. I swear to God, if one more brain-challenged idiot tells me about angels every time a bell rings….” Slam. Whack. Dishes and pots and pans went crashing about.

  “You definitely need an orgasm. I had my wings ripped off and I’m in a better mood than you are.”

  “Your….” Whirling on him, Collin advanced, fists clenched. “Do not fuck with me. I stopped. I brought you home. Naked. I helped.”

  “You did.” He swallowed the sigh. Texas. Right. Fight and then fuck. “I thanked you. I want to fuck with you, though. I thought I’d been incredibly clear.”

  “What, did someone send you? Or did you just pop out of thin air as my ghost of fucking Christmas present? What the fuck do you want?”

  Hrm. Someone was taking it all the wrong way.

  “Right this minute, I’d like an orgasm and a nap. Barring either of those, coffee and painkillers.” He pondered the first question. Sent was too deliberate, although with the big guy’s sense of humor, he honestly didn’t know.

  “An orgasm—” Eyes rolling like a fractious pony, Collin threw up his unclenched hands. “Only if I get to come first.”

  “That’s more than fair.” He stood, moved forward, and cupped the cowboy’s cock.

  “Oh. Oh fuck.” He could see it when Collin’s knees sagged.

  “Probably not tonight. We’ll see. Right now, we’ll try sucking.” He eased himself down, hands sliding on Collin’s thighs.

  “I like sucking.” Collin looked kinda like someone had hit him with a brick. Those eyes stared down at him, dazed as hell.

  “I do too.” He worked the buckle open, zipper down. “It’s a peculiar fascination.” He loved the word peculiar.

  “Pec—dude, it feels so fucking good.” Collin’s cock slipped right out when he pushed the boxers aside.

  “Indeed.” He leaned in, lips wrapping around the thick, sweet cock.

  A deep moan was his answer, Collin’s hips rolling, the hot flesh sliding between his lips.

  Now, this? Made a shitty day seem almost decent. Gaz wrapped his fingers around the base of Collin’s balls, bobbing his head slowly.

  “Sweet. Oh God.” That had to be irony too, Collin calling out for the Almighty while it was Gaz blowing him. Humans. Still, part of him understood. This was a step closer to heaven than anyone in vestments wanted anyone to believe.

  Rough fingers stroked over his hair, along his cheeks, the gentle touch completely at odds with the callused skin. He could feel Collin’s heartbeat against his lower lip, could hear every breath that swelled that wide chest.

  Someone needed this more than just about anything.

  He focused on the rhythm of Collin’s hips, of Collin’s heart, of the throbbing in his body, making it work together. Collin seemed pretty focused in return, skin flushing dark, muscles bunching and flexing. Then the man started making these amazing noises.

  Man, all that bullshit about harps and horns? Didn’t have anything on listening to the right guy give it up. Fuck, he could smell it when Collin was about to come. Those balls against his palm drew tight, and Collin gave a surprised yelp, punching into his mouth. Salty. Bitter. Hot enough to burn.

  He fucking approved.

  Gaz eased up but kept sucking, kept sliding his tongue on Collin’s shaft.

  “Damn….” Collin cupped his chin, holding him still. “Almost too much, man.”

  “Mmm.” Almost was another one of his favorite words.

  “You’re something else, man. I don’t know what….” Collin could laugh during sex. This was a good sign.

  “Nothing major. Just a fallen angel looking for a good time.”

  “Uh-huh. Fallen pretty far.” Sinking down, Collin grabbed his arms and dragged him close, kissing him deep.

  Oh, now that was worth the price of admission. He leaned into Collin’s arms, kissing back with a straightforward intent to drive any vestige of unhappiness out of the man’s mind.

  Once Collin got into it, there was no stopping him. The man tried to eat him alive, kissing him so he felt bruises pop up. He arched, hips moving in slow, rolling motions, his prick hard and aching.

  “Hungry bastard.” Grunting, Collin reached between them and grabbed his cock, pulling, thumb rubbing over him.

  “I am.” His eyes rolled, hips jerking and bucking as he fought for more.

  “Well, I ain’t gonna leave you hanging.” No, not with that hand sliding down to roll his balls, tug at them, and then press them up against the base of his cock.

  “You… you have the most amazing calluses.” Working man’s hands. Signs of strength and masculinity and…. “There.”

  “Right there?” Cupping his everythings, Collin rolled them, pushing and pulling, making his whole body arch.

  “Yes!” Pleasure filled him, his balls drawing up, growing tighter and tighter.

  “Come on, man. Want my mouth? Is that it?” Scooting back, bending, Collin took him in, lips closing on the tip of his cock, just like that.

  His scream rang out, loud enough to shatter the light bulb, leaving them in perfect darkness.<
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  Collin licked him clean, leaning on his thighs and panting. “Goddamn.”

  “Indeed.” The man had no idea.

  COLLIN COULDN’T believe it.

  There was this strange dude in his bed. They’d sucked and eaten and showered and watched TV, and they’d gone to bed, Gaz crawling in with him without asking.

  It was like 3:00 a.m., and all he could do was lie there on his side and stare at that lacerated back and wonder when he’d gone down the rabbit hole.

  It looked like…. It looked horrific, like bones had been stripped clean or something, like the guy was deformed, but somehow it fucking worked. Somehow it wasn’t gross. Just kind of…. Well, it made him sad. Without even thinking, he reached out and touched the edge of one jagged scar.

  Gaz moaned, body rippling and pushing back toward him, a hot-as-fuck groan splitting the air.

  Blinking, he touched again, trying to decide if that was very bad, that he was thinking of getting off when someone was hurt…. Or if it was good. If Gaz was going to get off too.

  “Don’t stop, Collin. Please.” Damn, that voice was like distilled sex.

  “Won’t. Don’t want to hurt, though.”

  “You won’t. You’re a good man.” How did the son of a bitch sound so sure?

  “I guess.” Could he be a good man and want the things he wanted? He moved his hands up and down, fingers stroking and touching, even as his hips inched closer to that amazing ass.

  “Mmm. You’re fucking inspirational.” Gaz rolled up onto hands and knees, offering him everything, just trusting him.

  His mouth watered. Gaz kinda almost glowed in the dark, and he could see all that bare skin. Okay, it had been a while, but Gaz was fucking hot. Collin climbed to his knees, grabbing Gaz’s hips. Gaz didn’t hesitate a bit, pushing right back into his hands, seeming almost as desperate as he felt.

  Collin let his thumbs slide down, spreading Gaz wide open for him, wondering what the hell was with him, that he couldn’t slow down a bit. No, sir. All he could do was bend and press his tongue at Gaz’s hole.

  “Collin.” That voice seemed to echo in the room, vibrate some. Damn.

  “Mmm-hmm.” Too busy to talk, man, call back later. He pushed his tongue in, fucking that tight hole for all he was worth.

  Gaz made the finest fucking noises, calling out for him, damn near singing for him. His head was gonna explode. Collin had never revved so fast, so easy like this. His cock ached, and he sat up, whispering as he rubbed against that fine ass. “Want to fuck you.”

  “Yes.” Gaz nodded, pale hair just going wild. “Yeah, Collin. In me.”

  “I need something, man. Some slick or a rubber.” They couldn’t just do this, could they? That was part of not hurting. This guy made his fucking head swim. He reached up, stroked that hair, loving how it felt against his fingers.

  “I’m slick. Please. Let me feel you.”

  “I…. Yeah. Okay.” How could he say no? Collin lined his cock up with that sweet hole and popped the head inside, feeling Gaz close, hot and tight around him.

  That got him a sound, but there wasn’t an ounce of pain in it. Hell no. That was all pleasure.

  Closing his eyes, he slid all the way in, all the way until his hips smacked against Gaz’s ass. Oh, sweet Jesus. “Good.”

  “Yes. Do it again.” That ass squeezed him tight, muscles rippling around him.

  “You don’t have to ask twice.” Breathless, feeling like he’d found heaven, Collin started moving, rocking back and forth. It wasn’t all frantic, really. More like strong and sure and fucking steady.

  He held Gaz’s hip with one hand, reaching underneath to grab that swinging prick with the other. He needed to feel. Hard, wet-tipped, it slapped into his palm, hot enough to burn.

  “Oh. Fuck, honey. So damned hot.” Collin stroked and pushed and went to town, his teeth sinking into Gaz’s shoulder.

  “Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Collin….” Soft words poured from Gaz; most of them he didn’t even fucking understand.

  “No. No. Gonna keep on so good.” Sweat ran on his neck and chest, his hands slipping and sliding on Gaz’s skin, but he didn’t let go. He just kept pumping, touching, pulling.

  The pressure around his prick made his breath catch, made him jerk, slam in deeper. His head was gonna explode. Flat out, no lie. Nothing had ever been so damned hot. Ever. “Gaz….”

  “Yes. Yes, soon. Collin. Soon.” That scarred back arched, bowed for him like the pleasure was too big to be still for.

  He knew that feeling for sure. Goddamn. Yeah. He hit the base of Gaz’s cock with his thumb and forefinger, twisting just a tiny bit. He slammed his hips forward at the same time, grunting as his balls slapped up. Heat poured over his fingers, Gaz’s ass milking him like a practiced whore.

  “Oh fuck!” Collin came like a ton of bricks, his whole body shaking like he hadn’t had the best orgasm of his life a few hours ago.

  “Not bad. Not bad at all.” Gaz eased them down, his chest landing on the odd, raw stumps.

  It was…. Well, damn it, it should have been gross. It wasn’t. It just made him want to help the guy.

  Somebody’d done something wrong—and it looked to him like Gaz got the wrong fucking end of the deal.

  Collin tightened his arms around Gaz, listening to the man’s breathing fall back into the deep rhythm of sleep.

  God help him, he was a sucker for a hard-luck case.

  Hell, just look at him. He could relate.

  COLLIN WAS gone when he woke, and Gaz spent the day sleeping, mostly—moving from bed to shower and back to the bed, the itching in his shoulder blades turning to burning, aching turning to pain as he tried to heal.

  It was enough to really piss him off.

  He stumbled back to the shower, cursing under his breath. He tried for all the best ones—old curses sure to burn the old man’s ass, new curses with that certain flair that the modern age had. Even some of the interesting desert ones involving camels and locusts and boils.

  Boils.

  Who the fuck came up with boils?

  “You okay, man?” Collin’s voice came from the kitchen, the door slamming shut about two seconds after.

  “Just hot.” Itching. Aching. Hurting.

  “Oh. Well, you could open a window. I mean, I left the house closed up because you were all snuggly…. Er. Burger?” A huge bag of food landed on the table as he was walking into the room.

  “I was. Thank you. I…. How was your day?” He wasn’t the greatest at the whole small talk thing. However, starting a conversation with “can you cut off my stumps, they itch, and you look like you need a blowjob” seemed vaguely crass.

  “Well, lemme see. I got up, I worked here, I worked at work, I rang a goddamn fucking bell for two hours….” Still, Collin winked, obviously in a better mood than he’d been in the day before.

  Gaz chuckled, stepped closer. Perhaps the blowjob wouldn’t be crass at all. “It seems you’ve been a very busy man.” Gaz cupped Collin’s cock, ignoring the burn in his shoulders. Nice.

  “Oh.” Collin’s eyes crossed, that prick pumping right up for him. How had he missed how fucking fine those old jeans were on a man? Honestly. He was becoming obsessed, and in such a short time too.

  It was possibly shock.

  That was it.

  Shock.

  “Mmm-hmm.” He eased himself down, fingers searching for that cock.

  “Hey, you don’t have to…. Oh. There.” He’d hit just the spot behind those tight Wranglers. Just the spot to make Collin bump and grind. He kept working it, leaning harder, letting Collin’s sounds ease his pains.

  “I need. Gaz, man, I need more.” He could hear each breath, could feel Collin’s belly quiver.

  “I can do more.” He smiled, leaned to nuzzle Collin’s belly. “I think blowjobs are an excellent starter.”

  “Starter. Uh-huh.” Collin was too manly to squeak, but that was a happy sound.

  “Mmm-hmm.” He found skin and pul
led the top of Collin’s cock into his mouth, tongue dragging over the tip, exploring every little bump and ridge, rolling the swollen head about a bit.

  “There. Just like that, Gaz.” Someone liked the receiving as much as Gaz liked the giving. Collin sank all ten fingers into his hair, pulling him on that long prick. Opening, he let that cock in deep, let the tip into his throat.

  “Your mouth. I love your mouth.” Wow, it was early to be talking love, wasn’t it? Even if it was breaking him down into parts. He didn’t spend too much time on that. There was a cock on his tongue, salty drops on his lips, in his throat. Besides, love was a gift. Christmas was coming. He’d go with it.

  Collin was moaning, talking for him, filthy words that sounded like heaven. The man had a great voice, all rough and slow and good. He got to work on the man’s heavy balls, rolling and rubbing them in their sac, tugging the tiny dark hairs a little. Humping hard, up on tiptoes, Collin gave him sounds and a heavy, musky scent and the best show of muscles at work. Beautiful.

  Gaz moaned, shoulders rolling, caught in the whole need-fucking-desire-visceral thing. Caught in the whole Collin thing. Collin’s hands fell to his shoulders, rubbing them, comforting him without even knowing it. Every touch made him feel good, deep down. Oh. Oh fuck yes. He arched up, encouraging the massage even as he took Collin to the root.

  “Oh….” The long moan was all the warning he got before Collin was shooting into his throat, hands clamping on him.

  He swallowed, sucking and drinking Collin down. Fuck yeah.

  “Babe. Lord. I…. Come on, stop now. I want to do for you.” Yeah, Collin was a stand-up kind of guy.

  He rested his head against Collin’s hip, panting.

  “So good, babe.” Those fingers dug into his shoulders, sending relief from that itching all through him.

  “Yes. Yes, that’s perfect. Don’t stop.” He leaned in, rubbing like a cat in heat. Babe. How… appropriate.

  “Just like that, huh?” Deeper, harder, Collin pushed into his muscles, fingers so rough against his skin. His mouth was open, traveling on Collin’s skin, tasting, licking at the salt.

  “You’re a sensual bastard, I’ll give you that.” Those hands tugged, pulling him up, getting him to his feet again. “Come on, man. Bedroom. I can really work on you there.”