by J. D. Griffo
“What on earth were they arguing about?” Father Sal asked.
“They’re under the impression that my sister and I are the only killers in town,” Alberta said. “But they’re wrong.”
“They are?” Helen asked.
“We might have killed all those men with arsenic, but we didn’t kill Missy Michaels and Brandon,” Alberta announced.
Alberta couldn’t see the faces of the people in the audience, but she was certain they looked as shocked as Helen and Father Sal did.
“If we didn’t kill those two,” Helen said, “who did?”
“The new girl in town,” Alberta replied. “We know her as Elaine Harper, but everyone else calls her Adrienne Petrocelli.”
CHAPTER 29
Non è fin ita fino a quando la signora morta parla.
“I wasn’t due back until Act Two, but it seems like one of the old ladies is going rogue.”
Adrienne didn’t even bother entering the living room through the front door. Instead, she emerged from the stage left wing and spoke her line as she crossed in front of the set, then stepped onto the deck of the playing space. She continued walking until she took her position at the far right wall. She possessed far more stage presence than she let on during her brief rehearsal period; either she’d lied about her experience or Johnny really was a terrific director.
“You sound as if you think you’ve solved this whole mystery, Alberta,” Adrienne said.
“Her name is Abby,” Helen whispered loudly. She shook her head and directed her next line to Father Sal. “Why is everyone breaking the fourth wall?”
Nervous laughter rose up from the audience. They didn’t know if they were watching the play or a real confrontation; they also didn’t know if whatever they were watching was being played for laughs or if they should take everything they were seeing seriously. They may have been confused, but they were completely invested.
“Please allow me to introduce not only Missy Michaels’s only living relative,” Alberta said, “but Johnny Fenn’s ex-girlfriend.”
“What?” Adrienne cried.
“I apologize,” Alberta said. “Johnny Fenn’s jealous ex-girlfriend.”
A slow, sinister smile spread across Adrienne’s face as she bent over and leaned on the back of Helen’s chair. “Tell me more.”
Alberta hesitated, because she knew the young woman had killed twice, and she didn’t like the fact that she was now hovering so close to her sister. When she started to talk, Alberta walked toward Helen and extended her hand, and Helen, understanding her sister’s motivation, took it, got up from her chair, and crossed to the other side of the stage. Once she was standing in between the two-time murderess and her sister, Alberta spoke much more freely.
“As I was saying, the two of you went to the University of Michigan,” Alberta said. “You told us you went there and the M on Johnny’s baseball cap that I thought was in honor of our fallen star was really in honor of his alma mater. You’re both the same age, so I’m guessing that’s where you met.”
“I’m impressed Alberta,” Adrienne said. “The rumors I heard about you were true. But the fact that we went to the same school hardly means we dated.”
“Of course not,” Alberta said. “Two things told me that. First, Johnny said he would never cheat on Nola especially with Adrienne, and you were pea green with envy when Johnny professed his love to Nola in front of everyone at tech rehearsal. If looks could kill, Nola would’ve been your third victim.”
Adrienne stood, literally, with her back against the wall and her face contorted into a mask of hatred. The audience shuddered, but Adrienne didn’t hear them; she was in her own private world.
“Johnny doesn’t love Nola,” Adrienne spat. “They have this idiotic bond for their love of the theatre, and he loves the opportunities he thinks she can give him.”
“Is that why you wanted to get back at Johnny?” Alberta asked.
“I warned him not to dump me!” Adrienne howled. “I told him I would find a way to make him pay.”
“When you found out he was going to direct your aunt, the only other person you hated more than him, it was like the forces of destiny presented you with your revenge on a cold, silver platter,” Alberta said.
“You’re piling it on a little thick, don’t you think, Berta?” Helen whispered.
“We do have a paying audience,” Alberta replied. “I want to make sure they get their money’s worth.”
“That’s all Johnny ever wanted too,” Adrienne said. “His piece of the pie.”
“At some point, I assume you told Johnny that you were Missy Michaels’s niece maybe when you showed him your DVD collection of her movies,” Alberta said.
“How did you know that?” Adrienne asked.
“Johnny said he discovered Missy because his ex-girlfriend had her DVDs,” Alberta replied. “But then Johnny met Nola, they started dating, he broke up with you, and when he found out she was a producer, he came up with the brilliant idea to lure his ex-girlfriend’s aunt to star in his current girlfriend’s play.”
“You all think Missy Michaels was some kind of saint! Let me tell you something, she was evil!” Adrienne screamed. “Why do you think I put that doctored photo in the fake arsenic bottle? To show the world that she literally turned her back on her family and let them suffer and struggle while she went on and made millions.”
“Is that why you killed her and framed Johnny for the crime?” Alberta asked.
The audience screamed, and it was only when Alberta saw Johnny standing stage left, a gun dangling from his hand, that she realized they were responding to his entrance and not her line delivery.
“That’s ridiculous!” Johnny shouted. “Adrienne wouldn’t do that to me.”
“Why not?” Adrienne shouted. “You treated me like dirt! You tossed me aside the same way my aunt disowned her own family!”
“Adrienne, when we broke up you said you understood that it was for the best!” Johnny cried.
“The best way for Adrienne to put her plan for revenge into motion,” Alberta said.
“I don’t care what it looks like, I don’t care what you might think she’s done,” Johnny said. “Adrienne isn’t the murderer, Kip is.”
The audience erupted in another series of screams, this time in response to Kip’s entrance on the other side of the stage. The gun he was holding wasn’t hanging at his side, it was pointed directly at Johnny.
“You shut your mouth, Johnny!” Kip yelled. “I loved Missy, I would never have killed her. You’re the one who saw it as an opportunity for publicity because the only thing you care about besides yourself is your lame career!”
“Speaking of careers, Adrienne,” Alberta said. “How’s the customer service business?”
“What are you talking about?” she replied.
“I didn’t expect you to remember,” Alberta said. “You told us that was your job, but I found your business card in your kitchen drawer and called your office. You don’t work in customer service at BioMedique, you’re one of their top IT people.”
The first crack in Adrienne’s tough armor started to show. “Big deal, so I work in IT.”
“It’s a very big deal, because it means that you’re an expert when it comes to technology,” Alberta started. “It also means that you’re the ex-girlfriend Johnny was talking about who built his website. The same one who was going to build Missy’s website.”
“You’re insane!” Adrienne cried. “I wouldn’t lift a finger to help that woman.”
“And you didn’t,” Alberta confirmed. “But you did swindle her out of one hundred thousand dollars and hacked into her e-mails, created a new account for Johnny [email protected], and made it look like Missy and Johnny were communicating, all in your attempt to frame Johnny for the murder that you committed.”
“Adrienne ... please ... tell them this is all a lie,” Johnny begged.
“You should know all about lies, Johnny,” Nola said. “Why d
idn’t you tell me that she was your ex-girlfriend?”
Johnny turned around and saw Nola staring at him with a look of utter despair on her face. She didn’t have to say a word for him to know what she felt, he could tell just by looking at her; in fact, the entire audience could tell that she was deeply hurt because the man she was in love with had lied to her about something so incredibly important. Most of the people in the audience knew Nola’s less-than-ideal personal history, so they were devastated by this betrayal. Especially Bruno, who came running onstage behind Nola and started to lunge toward Johnny. Instinctively, Johnny raised his gun and pointed it at Bruno, who immediately put up his hands and started to back away.
“Don’t do anything stupid, Johnny,” Bruno pleaded. “there’s a full house watching your every move.”
Johnny turned and had to squint to see Vinny standing in the audience, Tambra leaning on a crutch next to him, with Donna on his other side. The combined sight of the police and the very stern-looking principal made Johnny’s hands shake, which wouldn’t have mattered if one of his hands wasn’t holding a gun.
“I haven’t done anything!” Johnny cried. “And neither has Adrienne. Kip’s the killer.”
“I told you to stop blaming me for something you did!” Kip cried.
“Basta! Both of you!” Alberta shouted. “I’m sorry, Johnny, you may not want to believe it, but Adrienne framed you, and did a good job at it too. She even impersonated you when she deposited the hundred thousand dollars into your checking account at Tranquility Trust’s ATM machine.”
“I may be a lot of things, Alberta,” Adrienne said. “But I look nothing like Johnny.”
“You’re the same height and build as he is,” Helen said.
“Put on the same clothes he always wears, pull back your hair into a ponytail, don a University of Michigan baseball cap, slap on a fake beard and voilà, instant Johnny,” Alberta said.
“A fake beard?” Adrienne howled. “Now you’re grasping at straws.”
“You should really keep your facial glue hidden better,” Alberta said. “It was in your drawer next to your business card. I couldn’t imagine what you needed it for until I found the rubber band in Brandon’s apartment.”
“That we can prove matches the ones in the rubber band ball Gram found in your kitchen drawer,” Jinx said.
Adrienne turned around to see Jinx and a still-not-completely-steady Freddy at her side standing behind Kip. “I should’ve killed you when I had the chance!”
“You’re not impulsive, Adrienne, you don’t strike back quickly, you play the long game,” Alberta said. “But had you only waited a few months, you would have seen your aunt die and, thanks to her, you’d have become a very rich young woman.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Adrienne said. “No matter when she died, that woman wasn’t going to leave me a dime. She ignored me her entire life, you think she was going to remember me when she died?”
“She did remember you and I can prove it,” Alberta said. “That’s your cue, Farrah honey.”
Suddenly, a projection screen slowly descended from the ceiling, causing everyone to move downstage.
“Farrah Fogarty, are you responsible for that?” Nola asked.
“Yes, Ms. Kirkpatrick,” Farrah said from the control booth at the back of the theatre. “I did some video editing for Mrs. Scaglione. The principal said I could use it for my final project.”
“Vinny,” Alberta said, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this part, but remember the video you let us watch?”
“What about it?” Vinny shouted from the audience.
“There was more on it. We never stopped the tape, and after you left Missy came back on screen,” Alberta explained. “I had Farrah splice it together with the other videos Father Sal had and, well ... Missy has a lot more to say.”
“Well, don’t keep us in suspense, Alfie!” Vinny shouted. “Roll the tape!”
“I guess it’s true what they say, Non è finita fino a quando la signora morta parla,” Alberta said.
“I hate to interrupt,” Father Sal said, “but I don’t believe anyone in the history of the theatrical arts has ever said ‘It isn’t over until the dead lady speaks.’ ”
“It’s called artistic license, Sal,” Helen scolded. “Keep going, Berta, you’re doing just fine.”
“Play the tape, Farrah,” Alberta instructed.
“What the hell are you doing?” Adrienne cried.
“Letting your aunt speak for herself,” Alberta said. “Listen up, Adrienne, you’ll be shocked to hear what she has to say.”
When Missy’s face appeared on the huge screen, Adrienne fell back onto the flat and gasped. She was literally looking into the face of death.
A louder gasp rose up from the audience. Even though they’d been robbed of seeing the opening-night performance of a time-honored classic comedy, they were seeing a one-of-a-kind production that could never be duplicated. Had Nola known the evening would turn out this way, she could’ve charged triple the ticket price.
After a montage of clips of Missy as a child, a young woman, and in her final days, words slowly appeared on the screen, The Final Confession of Melissa Margherita Miccalizzo, more famously known as Missy Michaels. The words faded and the woman herself appeared.
“If you’re watching this tape, it means that I’m dead,” Missy announced. “Don’t waste a second feeling bad for me, I’ve had a wonderful life filled with the same ups and downs everyone faces. I’ve had successes and failures, triumphs and regrets. Lots of regrets actually, the biggest one that I let my family down.”
Missy looked away from the camera until she regained the strength to look into the eyes of whoever would one day watch the tape and resume her final thoughts. Adrienne was stunned by what she heard.
“This wasn’t on the tape!” Adrienne cried.
“Had you watched the entire thing before sending it anonymously to the police, you would’ve seen it,” Alberta said. “And you would’ve finally heard your aunt apologize for how she treated you.”
“I’m not going to bore you with excuses, but the facts are that when I was young, I had greedy managers,” Missy began. “It’s a cliché, I know, but it’s true. Ironically, when I got older, I became the greedy one. I knew I was going to be typecast as a child actress and my career was probably over, so I guarded my money with my life. I married well, my husbands didn’t seem to last very long, but their money did. I invested, I bought real estate, and I kept it all for myself. I didn’t even think about giving it to my family because I hadn’t heard from them in years. No one ever reached out to me until a few years ago, when I received a lovely card from my niece.”
All heads turned to Adrienne, but she didn’t even notice she was being stared at. She was entranced by the vision of her aunt.
“I’m so sorry I never wrote back to you, Adrienne,” Missy continued. “I’m not asking for your forgiveness, only a little understanding. I’ve been on my own since I was six years old; that’s a long time, and it’s a little too late to teach this old broad a new trick, but it’s my problem to deal with wherever I am when you hear this video.”
Missy took a deep breath and angrily wiped away some unexpected tears.
“I hate women who cry,” she said. “Tears don’t solve problems, actions do. To make up for my very rude behavior and for a lifetime of turning my back on my family, I’m leaving you everything I own. My house, my stocks, all my money, every last cent, and it’s not a bad sum, if I say so myself, for an actress who hasn’t worked in decades. Use it well, Adrienne, to have a wonderful life with as few regrets as possible.”
An image of Missy from her first movie as Daisy appeared on the screen, but Alberta could see that Adrienne was getting restless, and she had to get on with her presentation. She felt bad not allowing Farrah to show off her editing skills, but it was more important to make sure Adrienne was captured.
“Farrah, honey, you can pause
it right there,” Alberta said.
Missy’s smiling six-year-old face froze on the screen.
“It’s eerie that you almost predicted this Adrienne,” Alberta said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Adrienne replied, without taking her eyes off of Missy’s image.
“As part of your plan to blackmail Johnny, you fabricated a story that Missy was dying of Alzheimer’s,” Alberta explained. “You were half right. Your aunt was dying, but not from Alzheimer’s. She had stage four pancreatic cancer and only had months to live.”
“No!” Adrienne’s scream rocked the entire theatre. “That can’t be true!”
“It’s all in the medical examiner’s report,” Jinx said. “We asked him to check for any cancer drugs in Missy’s body and he found traces of Xeloda and Abraxane, two drugs used to combat pancreatic cancer. They weren’t caught before because a toxicology report wasn’t done.”
“There was no need for you to kill her,” Alberta said. “Her body was already doing that for you.”
“If you’d only refused to give in to your quest for revenge a little while longer,” Jinx said. “You would be able to live out the rest of your life in the lap of luxury instead of living it out in prison.”
Adrienne looked around the stage wildly, she looked into the audience, but saw nothing but darkness. Alberta imagined it was what she’d see if she looked into her soul.
“You can’t prove I did any of this!” Adrienne screamed.
“We’ll be able to trace the fake e-mail account you created to frame Johnny back to you,” Vinny shouted from the audience. “We can also link the rubber band found in Brandon’s room back to you and I’m sure the Tranquility Arms security tape footage showing you were Missy’s escort will be found.”
“And if they don’t find that, they’ll discover you’re the one who hacked into Kip’s sealed court documents,” Alberta said.
“You did what?!” Kip screamed.
“What the hell did you do that you have sealed court documents?” Johnny asked, raising his gun at Kip.