Tainted (Oh Captain, My Captain #7)

by Lindsay Paige

  “Well, that’s mine. What’s yours, Jade?”

  “Mine sucks, Valo, and it’s really silly,” I stammer a bit.

  “I don’t think ‘Jade’s fantasy is silly’ is a legit sentence. C’mon. What is it?”

  “All right.” I take his shoulders and turn him to the downtown skyline. “You see that? The Liberty Hotel?” Valo nods. “I did a private party up there when I first started. Some rich guy with a really small dick. Anyway, he was in the penthouse and it’s stunning up there. It’s all white and gold trim. They have this large canopy bed, like from the Victorian era.” I trail off for a moment and Valo turns back to me. “I want to have a guy take me up there. I’d love to be all wined and dined and…I don’t know. I just want to have sex in a nice place with someone who cares.”

  It sounds silly once I say it out loud. I pretend when I have my nails done, and I could do the same when I would be in the penthouse of the hotel room.

  “I’m going to tell you what you’ve told me. You’re a nice girl, Jade, and you’re going to have that happen.”

  “Hate to break it to you, Valo, I’m not that nice girl. Guys like that,” I point to the building. “Don’t take girls like me home to meet the parents, to company parties, or marry me. I’m their fuck buddy, or mistress, or whatever they want me to be. I don’t get the good guy. Are you ready to eat?”

  “There’s a good guy standing right in front of you. C’mon.”

  Chapter Eight

  Valo

  My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out. We’ve just ordered an extra large pizza. Jade gives me a look that says it is too much pizza, but I plan on making her take it home with her. I open a text from Gus. It’s a picture of a spotless living room. Another comes in of a spotless kitchen. He sends me a few more, and it clicks that it’s our condo.

  “Um, Jade?” I glance up at her. “Did you clean my house?”

  “Yep. It was nasty and I was bored.”

  “You cleaned the house and still left the cash I gave you? It wouldn’t have been nearly enough for what you did, but still.” I shake my head in disbelief.

  “I told you I was bored. Plus, you let me do my laundry there and take a shower, and I had something to eat. I think it evens out in the end.”

  “It is not even close to even. You must have been really bored.”

  “You know what, fine. You can pay for dinner and then we’re even, okay?”

  There’s no winning with her, so I agree. “Fine.”

  “Let’s get back to this adventurous streak you were talking about. Any of your stunts land you in jail? Or did you and your hockey buddies go all bad-ass on a rival team and end up in jail?” she teases.

  I chuckle. “No. Jail would’ve gotten us in too much trouble. I’ve never been arrested. Never even had a speeding ticket. Have you been arrested before?”

  “As shocked as you may be by my answer, I have never been in trouble with the law. My mother is a different story. She’s been in and out for everything: drugs, prostitution, trafficking, the list goes on and on. Not a normal, everyday role model, I guess.”

  “Aside from your job, you’ve never followed in any of her footsteps?”

  Jade’s face pales a bit. “No, I’ve never been paid for sex. I strip for money, but I’ve never crossed a line with any guy. I don’t…I don’t want that kind of life,” she says softly.

  “Her life doesn’t follow you, does it? It doesn’t try to make you cross that line, I guess is what I’m asking.”

  “I’d be a liar if I said I hadn’t thought of it. Younger girls like me can make good money if you get the right clients and do a good job. I don’t want it though. I’ve seen what’s it has done to Mom and other ladies in the hood. A lot of them were really smart, and if their situations were different, they could have been great. Even,” she continues with a whisper, “my mom. She was so smart in high school, but she thought she was in love and had me. Her family disowned her and she had no where to go. She started receiving help from the state and they set her up with a place in Greenwood and the rest, I guess you can say, is history.”

  “You’re probably going to disagree with me, but I think there’s always a way out, even if you have a hard time finding it. Maybe one day, you’ll both find your way out.” I pause, realizing I don’t know her exact age. “How old are you, Jade?”

  “I turned twenty-one two months ago. What about you, Valo?”

  “Twenty-eight. I didn’t realize you were that young, even though it’s not a huge difference number-wise.”

  “I do look older, but I’m only twenty-one. I’ve been with older, so we’re good.”

  That is not something I want to think about. We’ve finished eating our dinner, so I ask, “What’s part two?”

  “Well, I thought–” Her phone rings, interrupting her. With a frown, Jade answers. After a moment, she says, “Seriously, Mom?” She listens some more, making a few comments, and I gather that something is wrong with her mom. Whatever it is, Jade’s pissed when she hangs up. “Valo, we need to cut this night short. Do you think you can drop me off at the police station?”

  “At the police station? What’s wrong?”

  “Mom got pinched by an undercover cop. She’s in jail and I’m going to see if they’ll offer her bail or not. Not like I’m going to bail her out, but I need to check on her. Can you drop me off?” She’s already gathering her stuff.

  “Yeah, I can take you.” I leave enough cash on the table to cover our meal and we’re off to the police station. Jade doesn’t say anything the ride there. I’m not so sure I know what to say, so I stay quiet, too.

  “Thanks, Valo. I’ll talk to you later.” Jade hops out of my truck without another word, and I follow suit. When she realizes this, she stops and looks at me, confused. “Why are you following me?”

  “I’m coming in with you. Maybe I could help.”

  She laughs. “You can’t help. If you bail my mom out and she jumps bail, then your Finnish ass will be in that cell. On top of that, you’re not coming with me. People will recognize you and in two seconds, you’ll be all over Twitter with that shit. Go home. I can walk back to Greenwood after I find out what’s going on.”

  “It’s not a big deal, Jade.” I don’t have to bail her mom out, but I could stay with her while she deals with this and then take her home.

  “Valo, yes, it is!” Her eyes turn angry as her rant continues. “You don’t know what kind of people are in there, okay? They’re not hockey players who come from a two-parent home with a nice yard and a picket fucking fence. We’re the scum people walk on as they head to their mansions. That’s who we are and I’m one of them. I told you that and you know this. Now, get in your nice truck, and go to your house that has running hot water, and stop trying to fix what can’t be fixed.” Jade turns and walks away, into the police station, leaving me speechless.

  My mind doesn’t know what to analyze first. How she’s bringing up we’re from two different worlds, that she called herself scum, or that she obviously doesn’t have running water. All I want to do is help in whatever why I can, but she’s not allowing me to do a damn thing. With a sigh, I get in my truck and go home.

  ~

  It’s been a week since I’ve seen or heard from Jade. I’ve been to Canada and Alabama, plus a home game, and not a word from Jade. I texted her twice, just to check on her mostly. Tonight, I’m determined to hear from her. She can avoid me easily over the phone, but can she avoid me as well in person?

  I’ve been leaning against the front of my truck for an hour, my arms folded over my chest as I watch people from all walks of life leaving the strip club. I don’t even know if she’s working tonight. The plan is to wait and see if she walks out of that door as well. About half an hour passes before she makes her exit.

  When her eyes land on me, her shoulders sag. Not the best sign to see. Thankfully, she does walk over to me. Jade stops about two feet from me, her arms crossed over her chest much like mine
.

  “What are you doing here, Valo?”

  “I want you to come with me.”

  Her eyes narrow. “Where?”

  “Only one way to find out.” I walk to the passenger side of my truck and open the door, looking at her expectantly.

  Jade stares at me for about two seconds before she sighs and gets into the truck. We don’t say anything on the drive to a twenty-four hour diner, which is fine with me. However, Jade keeps the silent treatment going as we enter the diner and take a seat at a booth in the back. Once the waitress takes our order, I clear my throat.

  “I’m sorry,” I say.

  Jade looks confused. “For what?”

  “For overstepping, for trying to help when maybe I shouldn’t.”

  “Jeez, thanks for make me feel like a bitch,” she mumbles. “Valo, you’re too damn good for your own sake. I was mad that night because she got fucking picked up again. Then I was worried someone would see you with me, and your career is more important than some fucking lay. Well, you’re not having sex with me, but you know what I mean.”

  “I can take care of myself, Jade. You worry more than you need to. As long as I stay out of legal trouble, don’t do drugs, and play good hockey, my career is fine.” It seems that simple to me.

  “Finny, you’re so full of shit. What would happen if your photo were on the front of every headline in Maine that you bailed out a convicted prostitute? Do you think parents are going to buy your jersey for their kids? You think the owner is going to let you visit sick kids at the hospital? Words hurt just as bad as drugs, legal troubles, and all that other shit. Trust me, I know better than you. I won’t stand by and let you do this. You’re a good person, Valo, and I refuse to let my life taint yours.” Her words hang in the air between us.

  I take a deep breath. I never planned on being the one to bail her mom out if someone was going to do it. This conversation needs to change course before she gets too riled up and I lose her. How am I supposed to continue seeing her if she’s too wrapped up in somehow messing up my life? Before I can think too much about it, I say, “Fine. Let’s leave your mom out of it. You, Jade, are a good person. If you’re that worried about your life tainting mine, then leave it. Let me help you leave it.”

  “What are you? Some knight in shining hockey pads? Valo, I can’t leave. You want to know why? I made thirty bucks tonight. That’s it. I have no water in my apartment because I can’t afford it and I’ve been bathing at the club, which is beyond disgusting. I can’t make my rent and the landlord is already on the verge of giving me an eviction notice. Where, in all that hot fucking mess of my life, do you see an escape?”

  She alone can’t do it; I know this. I give her a small smile. “You’re looking at it. I’m not trying to save you, just giving you a way out.” She deserves that and if I can help her, then why shouldn’t I?

  “What the fuck are you talking about? And why hell do you want to help me? I’m not fucking you. I’m not a relative. Hell, I’m not even sure I qualify as a friend at this point. I mean, is this some type of good deed the hockey league makes you do or something?” Jade is clearly skeptical as she leans back in her seat, watching me with carefully masked purple eyes.

  “Have you not been listening to me, Jade? I want to help you because you deserve the chance, because you have a good heart. Move in with me. There’s even an extra bedroom you could have, and you can figure out what you really want to do, and I’ll help you make it happen.” I want to do this so damn badly, it’s overwhelming. We can make this work, if she’ll let me help.

  “And do what? Be your personal fuck doll or something? I don’t take charity. Well, I did as a kid, but not now. I have to work.”

  All the words she needs to hear to do this start leaving my mouth. “Then work. You can waitress in this very diner if you want and doing the housekeeping can cover your expenses at the house. Just quit and get the hell out and find out what your dreams are.”

  Jade stares at me for about a minute or so. “Valo, you don’t know anything about me. I could be conning you and then rob you blind.” Because that’s what a con man would say. “How can you know I’m even trustworthy?” She’s worried about me trusting her. “And what about Gus? I mean, he should have an opinion too since it’s partly his place.”

  “If you’re conning me and planning to rob me, then you need to work on your skills. I know you wish you had more, had the opportunity for more.” Here’s her opportunity. “You go to the park for peace and quiet to get away from it. My house can be like that, and don’t worry about Gus. He’ll be fine with it.” I hope so, but I really don’t have any clue.

  She crosses her arms on the table and drops her head. “Valo, I can’t take this offer.” She looks up at me. “What if my mom comes to your house? Well, she’ll be in jail for a while now, but what if someone else figures out what you’re doing, like the hockey league? How do you explain who I am?”

  That can be figured out later. “Give me one reason why you can’t take this offer for yourself. Not why you think you can’t because of me. Tell me how this will hurt you. If you can’t think of any reason, then you can take it. For fuck’s sake, Jade, just say you will.”

  For the first time, Jade looks like a lost twenty-one year old girl. I can see the fear, the worry, the uncertainty all pass over her features as she thinks it over. “I’ll be your employee,” she begins firmly. “You have to let me earn my keep. I’m not lazy, but I’ve never been a maid before, so I’m not sure I’ll do it correctly. You can tell people what you want about it. I’ll go with whatever story you make up, but there’s one major thing you still have to let me do. You can laugh if you want, but it…it…” She swallows hard with some emotion overwhelming her. “I need it and I have to have it to stay sane, okay?”

  “What is it?”

  “My nails. I have to keep getting my nails done. I can’t stop that. I know you don’t understand, but I have to keep that up.”

  “Okay. I’m not going to stop you from that,” I pause, confused. “Why is it so important?”

  Jade watches me, debating. “I’ll tell you, but please understand I’m not normally a liar. I mean, I have to get by, but this…this is different. You promise to not judge me?”

  “If I didn’t judge you because you’re a stripper, I doubt I’ll judge you for this.” How bad can it be?

  “Well, you just wait until I tell you.” She leans in close across the table and speaks in a lower voice. “There’s a high end spa downtown called the Love Spa. Only the rich people go there and they would never allow someone like me there. I go at least once a month and…pretend. I pretend I have this great life, fancy cars, and I travel. I don’t have to worry about not having heat or water, or the fact that I haven’t eaten in two days.

  “I go in there and pretend I have this perfect life and a perfect future. I lie the entire time I’m there. I lie for that whole hour. But I get to be in there with the rich people and see how the other half lives.” She drops her head with shame.

  “There’s nothing wrong with that, Jade,” I tell her in a soft voice, my heart cracking at how she never even had a shot at that life. Until now. “Is there anything you want from your house? Anything you don’t want to leave behind?”

  “Let me tell you the truth. I own one pair of jeans, two tshirts, and one sweatshirt. I don’t have anything else. It will take one minute to grab the stuff. I’ll come to your place tomorrow or the day after. Since you live so far away, I need to have bus fare and I have to give Big Mike a notice. So, I’ll have to work tomorrow.”

  I shake my head because that’s not happening. “Stay with me tonight.”

  “Oh, in your bed? I’m kind of glittery if you like that sort of thing.” She winks.

  “Is that a yes, Jade? There’s hot water, tons of food, my bed, and you can sleep in my clothes, if you need convincing.”

  “Finny,” she says, “you’re a really good guy and I hope this doesn’t backfire on either of
us.” She looks down at the table before looking around the restaurant, not bringing her eyes back to me as she adds, “Okay, I’ll be your maid and fuck buddy.”

  Fuck buddy? “Jade, that’s not what I meant. Shit, I just want you to sleep at my house tonight. I didn’t mean to imply anything else. That’s not part of the deal. I wouldn’t make you do that.” No wonder she’s hesitating so damn much. She thinks I want sex from her in exchange for helping her.

  “Why is that?” Now, she seems confused. “I mean, since I’ve been with you, well, you know, talking to you, I haven’t had sex with anyone, and that’s some type of record for me. Do you not find me attractive or is it something else?”

  “You’re beautiful, Jade. That’s not the issue.” I take a deep breath and lean across the table toward her. “If we’re going to have sex, it’s because of nothing else other than we want to. Not because you’re staying in the house, not because I’m giving you this chance, not because of any of that. Those things are not connected.”

  “Wow, and here I didn’t think you could surprise me anymore tonight. I’m wrong, you just did. My answer is yes. I’ll do it.” She smiles, definitely more at ease now.

  “For someone who keeps calling me a good guy, you sure seem to forget it. C’mon, let’s go. I imagine you would like a shower.”

  “Yes, I would.”

  I pay and we leave. Jade doesn’t seem nervous, but she’s not chatty either. When we enter the condo, Gus is sitting on the couch, watching TV. I say a quick hello and lead Jade to my bedroom.

  “I’ll let you rummage my dresser to find whatever you want to wear to sleep in.” I open the drawers with my pajama clothes before turning to face her. “I’m going to talk to Gus, so just come find me whenever you’re done, okay?”

  Jade nods and I leave her.

  “Hey,” I sit on the loveseat, “I need to talk to you about something, and until I can figure some stuff out, I need your full discretion. Think you can do that?”

  “Okay, what’s up?” Gus mutes the TV, giving me his full attention.