Blake Byron: Paranormal Investigator

by Andrew Beymer

  It was enough to drive me crazy.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Kinsey screamed.

  “What the fuck is wrong with me?” I shouted, finally starting to lose some of my cool.

  I’d been through too much. I’d seen too much. I’d come so far and I was still drawing up a big fat zero for all my efforts.

  Sure I’d killed a factory full of vampires and I’d saved some of those college kids, but I needed my baby. And Kinsey wasn’t getting me any closer to finding her.

  I pointed the gun at Kinsey’s lower torso. Fired off a couple of shots. Kinsey twitched a couple of times and stopped moving.

  “What the fuck did you do?” he screamed. “I can’t feel my legs!”

  “You were rolling around,” I said. “Makes it a lot harder for me to hit your heart if you’re rolling around. It’s better this way.”

  “You paralyzed me!” Kinsey shouted.

  Odd. I figured a cop would’ve faced this with a lot more balls than the vampire he I’d dusted that night they came in and killed my wife. Guess not.

  “You’ll get better,” I lied. “Now here’s how this is going to work. You’re going to tell me where my little girl is. If you tell me where she is then I might let you go ahead and heal and disappear from this parking lot.”

  “And if I don’t tell you?” Kinsey growled. “You paralyzed me you fucker!”

  “Yes yes, we already covered that,” I said. “I paralyzed a bloodsucking murderer and I’m a terrible person for doing that, but it’s not even close to how terrible things are going to get for you if you don’t tell me what I want to know.”

  “Fuck you!” Kinsey said.

  “Yeah, well you’re the one who’s about to be fucked Kinsey,” I explained

  I talked slowly, as though I was trying to explain things to a toddler.

  I’d gotten very good at explaining things to toddlers and little kids in recent years. I hoped I’d continue to have opportunities to explain things to little kids. If I didn’t have further opportunities to explain things to one little girl in particular then there was a good chance I was going to go on a rampage that would include way more vampires than the local ones in this town.

  Kinsey locked eyes with me. Then his eyes moved to the pile of dust that had until so recently been the Chief. He had to know he was fucked. I’d killed so many before.

  Sure Kinsey and the Chief got the drop on me, but once I was able to assess the situation I was able to bring it back under control.

  “That’s right Kinsey. Do the math. I’ve fucked over every vampire I’ve come into contact with in the past few days. That means you’re just the next notch on my stake.”

  “What are you…”

  “Oh I’m not going to kill you right away,” I said. “I’ve left you paralyzed, and I can really fuck your shit up. Shoot you a few more times. Make sure you have a wound that’s going to take a long time to heal.”

  “What would that…”

  I made a production of looking at my watch. It was a fancy smartwatch thing Rachel had insisted on getting me for Christmas last year. I never thought I’d have much use for the thing until I’d had a chance to use this one.

  That was the thing about my beautiful dearly departed wife. She always knew exactly what to get me even if I didn’t know I wanted it. That was one of the things I loved about her.

  One of the things I’d loved about her.

  “I figure the sun is going to peek up over the horizon in a couple of hours,” I said. “And I figure I can fuck you up to the point that you’ll still be here when the sun peeks up over the horizon. You’ll see your first and last sunrise since you became an undead bloodsucking abomination of the night. Nice of me to give you that view, right?”

  Kinsey’s eyes went wide as he realized exactly what I meant. His mouth worked and his fangs glistened in the overhead parking lot lighting, but no words came out.

  “That’s right,” I said. “It’s not enough to kill you. I’m going to make you suffer as much as all your victims have suffered. As much as all the people who died because you were in on it suffered. Nice way to go, right?”

  His mouth worked again. Again nothing came out. This time I got down in a squat position and leaned close to Kinsey. I knew there was no worry this vampire was going to lash out at me.

  “So why don’t you think about it for a little while Kinsey?” I asked. “Do you want to see your last sunrise ever and slowly bake as dawn hits you, or do you want to tell me where my little girl is and have a chance to make it?”

  Kinsey licked his lips. Impressive how he did that without nicking his tongue on one of those fangs. Then again I figured if someone was a vampire long enough they probably got used to dealing with those fangs.

  Finally he nodded towards the station.

  “She’s in there,” he said. “You’ll find what you’re looking for in there.”

  His eyes flickered for just a moment. Just enough that I could tell he was either full of shit or the “something” I was looking for in there wasn’t going to be anything pleasant for me.

  I sighed. Stood. It was a damn good thing I was so used to reading people from my time playing over in the sandbox. It was a skill you picked up on when you spent most of your time hoping someone who didn’t speak the same language as you wasn’t looking to fuck you over.

  “Thanks for the info Kinsey,” I said.

  I pointed my gun at Kinsey’s torso again and unloaded the rest of my magazine. Then for good measure I pulled another one out, slid it home, and emptied it as well.

  “You fucker!” Kinsey shouted when the loud noise from the pistol finally wore off. “You said you’d let me go!”

  I grinned. “I said I’d give you a chance to get away. How good that chance was depended entirely on how honest I figured you were being with me.”

  “Fuck you!” Kinsey screamed.

  “Yeah, well you should’ve been more honest and I would’ve given you a better chance,” I said, sketching a mocking salute with my pistol. “As it is I figure it’s probably about a seventy-thirty chance you’re going to heal up enough to drag yourself to safety. Which is more than you deserve.”

  Kinsey started wailing and screaming all sorts of things about the chastity of my mother. I got so sick of it that I fired a couple of shots right into his throat.

  It didn’t kill him, but it sure as fuck shut him up. I chuckled and shook my head. These vampires walked around like they owned the place. Like immortality and near invulnerability made them the best fighters ever.

  I figured most of them never stopped to consider that the invulnerability that came from healing faster than everything else was also a weakness that could be used against them rather than a strength they could use against everyone else.

  “Nice working with you Kinsey,” I said, saluting one final time and turning away.

  Kinsey gurgled something, but it was difficult to make out what he was trying to say considering he had multiple holes in his throat that made it very difficult to get words out.

  I had more important things to take care of. My little girl was in that station. Maybe.

  Or it could turn out that this was some vampire idea of a sick fucking joke. Of course the joke would be on them. If it turned out Zoey was in there but she was already dead or some other lame twist then I was going to burn the place to the ground and kill every fucking vampire I found in there.

  Either way it wasn’t going to be a good night for any vampire in the station who stood between me and my baby. Sure I knew I was walking into a trap, but some things were worth it.

  40

  Not-So-Surprising Reveal

  The whole station was mostly dark. The only illumination came from the red glow of exit signs and a couple of lights that had been left on when the day crew left.

  At least I could be sure those assholes weren’t vampires. That they were able to work out under the giant ever burning ball of nuclear death that was t
he sun was proof enough of that.

  That or they were wearing sunscreen that had one hell of an SPF.

  “Anyone in here?” I asked, easing a stake loose and holding it out.

  This seemed like one of those times when it was a good idea to walk around armed to the teeth. Sure I was down a little bit when it came to the whole supply situation, but it wasn’t too bad. It’s not like I was out of ammo or stakes yet.

  Still, the whole station had a creepy horror level in a first person shooter game vibe going for it, and I figured that meant I was probably getting pretty close to taking out the big boss.

  I’d sure as hell taken out enough mooks and minions during my rampage that it was time I finally went up against something a little more challenging.

  “Hello?” I shouted again.

  And again there was nothing but silence to greet me. I rolled my eyes. Someone out there was really trying to fuck with my head, but that someone hadn’t counted on the fact that I’d spent plenty of time playing in the dark in places that were a hell of a lot scarier than a campus police station.

  I reached out and flicked on the light. They came on after a couple of blinks. The fluorescent lighting in here was notorious for its flickering.

  I grinned. That was something they never seemed to think of in those creepy movies or TV shows. Are you skulking through a creepy dark place where a monster might be hiding? Why don’t you turn the fucking lights on?

  And when I turned the lights on I saw something that chilled me to the bone. Which was pretty fucking impressive considering it took a lot to chill me to the bone after all the shit I’d seen.

  “Hello Gladys,” I said.

  Though she didn’t quite look like the Gladys I’d come to know and love in my time working the night shift. Somehow she looked even more gaunt than before, if that was even possible. Her hair was in complete disarray flying in every possible direction but down.

  The fangs were also new. At least they were new to me. I figured they’d probably been there for a long fucking time considering how old she was and how she always loved working the overnight shift and making my life a living hell.

  Yeah, now that I thought about it it’s not like it was a huge surprise. Ancient crone who looked the same in every picture that’d been taken of her since Eisenhower was in office, check. Working overnights all the time even though she should’ve been taking a dirtnap by now, check. A natural hatred of everything young, vibrant, and living. Check.

  It made sense.

  Of course I didn’t care about any of that. No, the thing that concerned my more than the ancient pissed off vampire baring her fangs was the little girl Gladys had in her arms.

  Zoey.

  “Zoey? You okay baby?”

  She didn’t say anything. Actually now that I really stopped and looked at her it looked like she wasn’t seeing much in the world. Her eyes were glazed over and she had the thousand yard stare I usually only saw in combat veterans who’d seen some serious shit.

  I really hoped that was some sort of vampire magic they’d worked on her. If she’d seen some of the stuff the vampires were up to then there was no telling how much therapy it was going to take to break her out of that funk. Assuming any amount of therapy would be able to break her out of her funk.

  “I swear if you’ve done anything to hurt her,” I growled.

  “Oh I’ve done nothing to hurt your precious little girl,” Gladys said.

  Her lips curled up in a smile that looked like it would be better suited to a skull. Actually with the way her skin was stretched across her skull she really did look a lot like the Cryptkeeper from those old HBO shows I watched as a kid when my parents thought I was in bed.

  “Ykou might say I’ve done something to make her even better,” Gladys said. “Better than you could ever imagine, and very fitting considering everything you’ve done to my people.”

  I arched an eyebrow. I was starting to get a really bad feeling about this, and that bad feeling had nothing to do with the claws that were out on Gladys.

  I was painfully aware that this could still end badly. She could kill Zoey just as quickly as that asshole who was a puddle of goo out at The Factory had killed Rachel. It would be the end of my world if that happened.

  It would also be the end of the world for Gladys. It would be the end of the world for any other vampire I could find. That wouldn’t bring my little girl back though.

  “Why don’t you let her go Gladys?” I asked. “This is between the two of us.”

  “Is it Byron?” she asked. “You killed all of my children, so it seems only fair that I take your future from you.”

  “Yeah, well I figure you had it coming after you offed my wife you old bitch.”

  I blinked. Shook my head. My mouth was writing checks that my daughter was going to cash if I wasn’t careful. It’s just that Gladys pissed me off back when I thought she was alive.

  Now that I knew she was among the undead and I could finally live the great American fantasy of getting rid of the annoying wannabe boss at work? Well it seemed my mouth was running ahead of my brain just a little.

  “Fine,” Gladys said with a sigh. “You can have your daughter back.”

  I blinked. I did not think it was going to be that easy. In fact it was so easy that I was immediately suspicious. Things had gone to shit often enough for me lately that I figured this meant there had to be something bad coming.

  And I was absolutely right. Gladys patted Zoey on the head almost affectionately.

  “Go back to your daddy darling,” Gladys said.

  What happened next probably shouldn’t have been a surprise given everything else that had happened, but I was caught off guard nonetheless. Zoey looked up at my and hissed, fangs descending, then she was tearing across the station much faster than she’d ever moved before.

  I stood rooted to the spot. I couldn’t believe this was happening. After everything else the vampires had done it would seem Gladys had finally found a way to take her revenge on me and kill me at the same time.

  Sure I was still armed to the teeth. I had my trusty gun at my side. I had a couple of reserve squirt gun tanks filled with holy water and my trusty squirt gun with a mostly full tank that would make short work of her. I had stakes in my bandolier. I even had a UV flashlight that was supposed to be used for finding cat pee on carpet but was equally useful at giving vampires one hell of a burn since I’d discovered they didn’t do so well under any sort of UV light.

  I had all of those weapons plus the knowledge that I’d killed every vampire I’d gone up against over the past couple of days. Even the fights when it had seemed a little dicey and looked like I might not make it through.

  And none of that mattered, because there wasn’t a chance I was going to do anything to hurt my little girl. All my weapons were useless. I fell to my knees and waited for the end to come, because the end was here and I wasn’t fighting it.

  I’d let my little girl kill me before I laid a hand on her. It was over. Gladys had figured out how to stop me. She was the only vampire devious enough to pull it off.

  The bitch.

  I held my hands out. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I wasn’t normally an emotional man, but this did it for me. At least I’d be able to hug my little girl one last time before she sank her fangs into me.

  Everything would be worth it if I had that one moment where I could pretend everything was back to normal. One moment where I could act like it was me and Zoey against the world like I used to when I walked into her room after coming home from a shift.

  Desks slammed to the side as she tossed them left and right as though they weighed nothing. This was going to hurt when she hit me.

  I closed my eyes. Felt the rugrat slam into me like she always had before. She never knew her strength, and it was even worse now that she was a vampire running with super speed and probably more than a little bit of super strength as well.

  I wrapped my arms around her. She felt th
e same. Smelled the same. For a moment there was bliss. For a moment I didn’t care that I was about to die.

  “Daddy!” she squealed.

  The bite never came. Her teeth never sank into my neck. I didn’t twitch as my lifeblood poured out of me.

  I opened my eyes. Looked down into the beaming face of my little girl. Sure she looked a little paler than she had before, sure there were a couple of fangs sticking out of her mouth where there’d been baby teeth before, but it was her. Her smile looking up at me as though I was the most important thing in her world was still the same.

  And I knew I was holding my Zoey. Not a bastardized monstrosity that looked like my little girl but attacked people and sucked their blood. This was my little girl through and through.

  I pulled her into a big hug.

  “Hi munchkin,” I said, fighting back tears. “It’s really good to see you.”

  She pulled away and looked up at me. Cocked her head to the side and stared into my eyes in that oddly knowing way kids sometimes had.

  “Something wrong daddy?”

  “No honey,” I said. “Everything’s just right.”

  I squeezed her. Maybe harder than I intended, but this time she was the one who nearly cracked my ribs.

  “Hold on there little baby,” I said. “You’re hurting daddy.”

  Usually I said that when she was climbing all over me. She was all knees and elbows and she was very good about digging those knees and elbows into my body and it always hurt like a motherfucker but I didn’t care as long as she was laughing and having a good time.

  And I didn’t care if she was a vampire. I didn’t care if she was the very thing I’d been hunting and destroying. She was still my little girl.

  “Why are your eyes leaking daddy?” she asked.

  I hugged her again. There was no way to explain why my eyes were leaking. Sure she might understand someday when she was older, assuming she could have kids of her own if she was a vampire which I didn’t know, but for now I held her and enjoyed knowing I’d finally found what I was looking for.