1949 - You're Lonely When You Dead

by James Hadley Chase

  ‘If we don’t talk about it now, it’s the last time we talk about anything,’ he said, crossed the room to take a cigarette from a silver box on a distant table. ‘But please yourself.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘It’s plain enough, isn’t it? I’m handing in my nice knee boots and peak cap tomorrow. I’m through with standing outside your gate, I’m through with creeping up the back stairs to your room. That’s what it means.’

  She gave a sudden harsh laugh. It wasn’t a pleasant sound.

  ‘And I suppose you’ll give up all this?’

  ‘If you mean this house and all its junk, then you’re right for once, baby.’ He lit a cigarette, released a stream of smoke down his thin nostrils. ‘I quit unless we marry.’

  ‘I can’t marry you, Caesar,’ she said. ‘Not so long as he lives. I can’t do it.’

  ‘Do you think anyone will want to marry you by the time he’s dead?’

  ‘Why can’t we go on as we are? You have everything you want, haven’t you? You have your freedom. I don’t interfere with you.’

  He walked up to her, caught hold of her wrist and jerked her to him.

  ‘I’m sick of being your bedroom lackey,’ he told her.

  She slapped his face. The sound of her palm against his tight, brown cheek was as loud as a pistol shot.

  They stood looking at each other, then he released her wrist and, with a sneering little grin, moved away from her.

  She sat down abruptly as if the strength had gone out of her limbs.

  ‘I didn’t mean to do that,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘You don’t think I care, do you?’ he said, and laughed. ‘I had you on the raw that time, baby. It gives me a bang to see you squirm. Sooner or later this had to come to an end. Well, I guess this is the payoff. I’m through.’

  ‘Don’t talk like that. You don’t mean it. You’re angry. I’ll go now. We can talk about it tomorrow.’

  ‘You talk about it tomorrow. I shan’t be here.’

  He pitched his cigarette into the fireplace. Her eyes went from him to the smouldering cigarette, and her lips tightened. When he was sure she was looking at the cigarette he put his foot on it and smeared it on the tiles.

  ‘Like that,’ he said softly.

  ‘Caesar, please…’

  ‘Like that,’ he replayed. ‘You and me - like that.’

  There was a long, tight silence.

  She said after minutes, ‘You’ll miss this house and the money. You’ll miss everything I do for you.’

  ‘Baby, how you love to kid yourself. Miss this house and your money? This isn’t the only house and you aren’t the only girl with money. You don’t really think that, do you?’

  ‘Let’s not go on with this anymore, Caesar,’ she said, clenching her fists and sitting bolt upright.

  ‘We’re going on with it. I can find another girl as good as you and as rich as you tomorrow. It’s easy This town is crammed with girls like you. Girls who like a guy with a little muscle to fool around with; who like to buy him suits and lend him a house and snap their fingers at him when they want him: and you know why they want him, don’t you? I don’t have to go into that side of it, do I?’ He laughed. ‘Rich, pampered girls with nothing better to do than buy a man because he’s got muscles. Well, you’re not the first, baby, and you won’t be the last. If you want to keep me, marry me. Marry me so I can get my hooks into your money, and that’s the only reason why I’d marry you.’

  ‘Did you say I wasn’t the first?’ she asked, her eyes closed and an exhausted look on her face. She had dropped back into the chair while he was speaking, and there was a grey, sick look on her face.

  ‘Certainly I said you weren’t the first, and you won’t be the last either.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said softly. ‘I may be the last.’

  ‘Don’t count on it, baby. Don’t count on it.’

  He finished his drink, yawned, ran his fingers through his hair.

  ‘Well, I guess I’ll go to bed. I’m sick of this. You’d better run off home.’

  Her eyes opened.

  ‘And tomorrow?’ she asked in a cold, brittle voice.

  ‘I shall be the hell out of here tomorrow.’

  She got slowly to her feet.

  ‘You really are going away?’

  ‘What’s the matter with you?’ he asked roughly. ‘Don’t I talk plain enough for you? I’m through. I’m quitting. I’m taking a powder. I’m leaving you flat. I’m giving you the brush-off. Now do you get it? I’m shaking the dust of this love nest off my feet. I’m going to forget the way you look, the way you act, the things you say, and baby, it’s going to be a long and beautiful vacation.’

  She stood motionless, a feverish look in her eyes.

  ‘Did you say that to Anita?’ she said.

  Mills gave her a quick, searching look, then laughed.

  ‘You’re no fool, are you? So you knew about her? Well, she didn’t last long, and she wasn’t much anyway. She hadn’t your youthful enthusiasm.’ He turned away to pour another drink. ‘Why don’t you give Franklin a chance?’ he asked, and laughed again. ‘Franklin’s old but I bet he’s keen.’

  She had turned slightly, her back to him, her hand unfastening the clip on her bag. She dipped into the bag and lifted out a .25 automatic. The heavy nickel plate on the gun reflected in the lamplight, sending bright flashes across the ceiling.

  Mills heard the snick of the safety catch as she thumbed it back, and swung round as she pointed the gun at him.

  ‘You’re not going away, Caesar,’ she said softly.

  She had her back to me now. I couldn’t see the expression on her face, but I could see Mills’s expression. The confident smile slid off his face the way a fish slides off the fishmonger’s slab. He stood very still, scarcely breathing, his eyes opening wide.

  ‘You’d better put that gun away,’ he said, stiff-lipped and whispering. ‘There might be an accident.’

  ‘There’s going to be one,’ she said, and began to back slowly towards the casement window. ‘Oh, yes, Caesar, there’s going to be an accident all right. Don’t move. I know how to use this thing. A millionaire’s daughter has so many opportunities to do things: shooting with this toy is one of them. I’m a pretty good shot, Caesar.’

  ‘Now, look, baby . .

  ‘I told you not to call me that. Keep quiet and don’t move. It’s my turn to talk now.’ She was by the window, within three feet of me. I could smell the perfume in her hair, see the feverish glitter in her eyes. I kept as still as a corpse and as quiet. I didn’t know how quick she could be. The slightest movement from me might bring her swinging round and shooting at the same time. I was too close for her to miss The thought made me sweat a little.

  ‘I knew, sooner or later, this would happen,’ she said. ‘I knew, sooner or later, I should have to do this. You’re not the type, Caesar, to keep a bargain. But you’re handsome and strong and you’re fun sometimes: but not always. You’re not always fun. Every once in a while your mean, hateful, dirty little ego gets the better of you. And don’t think you ever fooled me. You didn’t. I knew about Anita. I watched you two together. What a swine you are, Caesar, What a fine, handsome swine you are.

  ‘Oh, yes. I wanted this thing of ours to go on, but I knew sooner or later you would get tired of it, and you would find someone else. And I knew it wouldn’t be difficult for you to find someone else. And I knew, too, you would talk about me to the slut you found. You can’t resist ta king, can you, Caesar? You’ve talked to me. Do you think I liked to lie by your side and listen to all the details about the other girls, knowing that one day you would be telling some other girl about me? But you’re not going to do that, Caesar, nor are you going to tell any girl about any other girl, not ever again.’

  ‘You’re crazy,’ Mills said, his voice off-key.

  ‘No, I’m not. I should be crazy if I let you walk out of h
ere, but you’re not going to do that. They’ll find you in the morning, and they’ll reconstruct the shooting, and they’ll know it’s a woman, but they won’t know which woman. There have been so many, haven’t there, Caesar? Regiments of women: all who would have wanted sometime or other to have shot you. I don’t think they’ll even suspect me. Everyone in this pick-nosed town knows I can’t walk. How could I come out here and shoot you? They may think I did because this house belongs to me, but they’ll only have to talk to Dr. McKinley and he’ll tell them I can’t walk. He couldn’t afford to admit I’ve been fooling him for months. And then there’s faithful Franklin. He knows I’ve come here to see you. The news of the shooting will please him, Caesar. He doesn’t like you, and he won’t give me away.’

  Mills said through white, stiff lips, ‘Put it down, you little fool! Don’t point it at me! Put it down!’

  ‘Goodbye, Caesar,’ she said, and the short, glittering barrel moved to aim at his head. ‘You’re going to be lonely. That’s something you don’t know the meaning of yet. But you will. You’ll be lonely when you’re dead, Caesar.’

  ‘Don’t do it!’ he shouted, and threw up his hands, half-turning, seeing she was going to shoot and knowing there was nothing he could do about it.

  I swung my fist and hit her elbow as the gun went off. The blow paralysed her arm and she dropped the gun, swung round and struck at me. I felt her nails scrape down the side of my face and I grabbed at her, but she dodged out of reach, and ran past me into the garden.

  I let her go, watching her run down the moonlit path to the gate and to the car.

  IV

  ‘Hello, Mac,’ Mills said. ‘So there are times when you come in on cue.’ He sat down abruptly as if his legs couldn’t support him. Sweat beaded his tallow-white face. ‘Have a drink? If you need it the way I need it, brother, you need it!’

  I moved into the room, dabbing at the scratches on my neck with my handkerchief. One of the scratches was bleeding; the others felt raw.

  ‘Sort of shook you up, didn’t it?’ I said, and sat on the arm of the chesterfield where Natalie had sat but a few minutes before. ‘You won’t be closer to a coffin than you were just now.’

  ‘I know it,’ Mills said. He tried to pour whisky into a glass but his hand shook so much most of the whisky went on to the carpet.

  ‘Better let me do it,’ I said, and took the bottle from him.

  He lay back in the armchair, the sweat was now pouring down his face. Olaf Kruger had said once you got him going he’d turn yellow. Natalie had got him going all right.

  I made a couple of drinks big enough to float a yacht on, handed him one and poured die other down my parched throat. It was the nicest drink I’d had for forty-eight hours.

  Mills put his down in three long swallows. It might have been water. And when he had drained the glass, he shoved it at me again.

  ‘I could use another like that,’ he said. ‘Sweet Pete! That bitch scared me. If you hadn’t barged in like that...’

  ‘You had it coming,’ I said, fixing another drink for him. ‘It’s a wonder to me more of you heels don’t get wiped out. If I hadn’t wanted to talk to you I’d have let her shoot you.’

  He gave a thin, smiling grimace.

  ‘You’re my pal, Mac,’ he said. ‘I owe you something. What a spot I was in! She’s crazy. You know that? She’s as crazy as a rattlesnake you kick accidentally, and as dangerous. I thought I was a goner. Did you hear what she said? That stuff about being lonely when you’re dead. That’s a nice crack to make when you’re shooting at a guy, isn’t it? That’ll tell you how crazy she is.’

  I handed him a drink to match the first.

  ‘Don’t toss that lot down all at once. I want you sober for the next ten minutes.’

  ‘Gimme a cigarette,’ he said. ‘My nerves are creeping up and down my spine like spider’s legs. I’m going to get the hell out of here. I know her. Know what, Mac? I wouldn’t put it past her to go home, get another gun and come out here again. Well, I’m not staying. I’m not taking any more chances with a crazy twist like her.’

  I gave him a cigarette and lit it for him. Although he kept talking I could see he was in a bad way. The reaction had hit him all ends up, and I shouldn’t have been surprised to have seen him slide out of his chair in a faint.

  ‘Take it easy,’ I said. ‘She isn’t coming back. Get hold of yourself.’

  He took another drink and sat staring blankly at the carpet. I could see it was no use hurrying him. He had had a shock, and he hadn’t the guts to shake it off quickly.

  It was nearly five minutes before he spoke again, and then his voice sounded a little more normal.

  ‘What are you doing out here, Mac?’ he asked. ‘Don’t tell me if you don’t want to. I’m glad you came. I’d be growing cold by now if you hadn’t bust in the way you did.’

  ‘I’m here to talk to you,’ I said. ‘You can help me straighten out a little problem I’m working on if you want to.’

  He looked at me and gave a pinched grin.

  ‘After what you did for me, Mac,’ he said seriously, ‘Anything I can do is for the asking. And I’m sorry I pushed you around that day. I guess you feel sore about that. Well, I’m sorry.’

  ‘I was sore all right, but forget it. I thought that dame couldn’t walk. What’s behind it all?’

  ‘She’s trying to get back on Cerf,’ Mills said. ‘I tell you she’s crazy. And I mean crazy.’

  ‘What’s Cerf done to her?’

  ‘Do you want to hear it?’ Mills asked, huddling farther down in his chair. ‘I’ll make it short if you really want to hear it.’

  ‘Go ahead,’ I said.

  “Well, it’s this way,’ Mills said. ‘She was nuts about her mother, but she hadn’t much time for Cerf. To complicate things Cerf was crazy about her. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her and was jealous the way she used to hang around her mother. The three of them took a trip in a car. Cerf drove. They stopped some place for lunch and Cerf livened himself up with a load of booze. He was all right in the hotel but when he got into the air he was stinko - just like that!’ And Mills snapped his fingers. ‘Instead of turning the wheel over to one of the women, he got obstinate and insisted on driving. He hit a truck head on. It was a hell of a smash. The trucker was killed, Nat was knocked out and her mother thrown through the windscreen, cutting her throat on the glass. Cerf wasn’t even scratched When Nat came to she found herself covered with her mother’s blood and her mother laid out beside her with her head hanging on a strip of skin. Know what I think?’ He leaned forward to stare at me. ‘I think that sent Nat crazy. It didn’t show, but it’s there. Cerf nearly went crazy himself when he found Nat was hurt, and she was quick enough to see the way he reacted. Up to then, she told me, he’d never shown any feelings. He was responsible for her mother’s death, and she hated him from then on with a hatred that has been growing ever since. To punish him she pretended she couldn’t walk. Maybe for the first couple of months she did punish him; from what she told me, he was genuinely fond of her, but after a while I guess he got used to the setup. She wouldn’t have it he didn’t care, but that’s my bet. Can you imagine? She kept to a wheel chair or in bed for two solid years, going out only when Cerf was away or at night when she knew he wouldn’t come to see her. That shows you what a nut she is.’

  ‘And how did you happen along?’ I asked.

  ‘They wanted another guard on the gate. I was short of dough at the time and got the job. You know how these things happen. About a couple of days later she began to make passes. I guess she was bored with herself and thought it’d be fun to have a guy to fool with.’

  ‘Do you know anything about a suitcase of stolen articles which was found in Anita’s cupboard?’

  ‘That was Nat’s idea. I collected the stuff for her, and she planted the suitcase. She reckoned it’d take the gilt off Cerf s honeymoon, and it certainly did. She was full of sweet ideas l
ike that.’

  ‘What can you tell me about Gail Bolus?’

  He stared at me, surprised.

  ‘You get around, don’t you, Mac? What do you know about her?’

  ‘I’m asking you. You know her, don’t you?’

  He nodded

  ‘Yeah. She blew into town about four months ago. She was crazy about the fight racket. We met at Kruger’s. At that time I did a bit of boxing. We hooked up together. She liked to see me fight. When I quit fighting, she lost interest in me. You know how it is, Mac. She was a tough dame, and knew all the answers. You have to work too hard with a dame like that. I gave up trying. As far as I know she used to earn a living playing poker. She could shuffle all the aces to the bottom of the deck as easily as she could light a cigarette. I don’t know what became of her.’

  ‘Did she ever mention Lee Thayler?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘Who’s he?’

  ‘Never mind. What were you doing in Barclay’s house a couple of days back?’

  He gave me a quick, startled look.

  ‘You’re a busy guy, aren’t you? What were you doing there?’

  ‘I was there. What were you looking for?’

  ‘That was Nat again. She sent me out there to see if I could find anything that’d convince Cerf Anita was two-timing him. But I didn’t find anything.’

  I finished my drink and stood up.

  ‘You wouldn’t have any ideas about the murder? Why Dana Lewis was shot?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘Not a thing. Nat thinks Anita did it, but I don’t. Anita isn’t the type.’ He pushed himself out of the chair. Fear and whisky made him unsteady on his feet. ‘If that’s all you want, Mac, I guess I’ll be going. I’ll pack a bag and get out of town. I shan’t be easy until I’ve put some miles between myself and that twist.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘That’s all I want.’

  V

  On the way back to Orchid City I chewed over what I had heard and what Mills had told me. On the face of it none of the facts I’d learned had any bearing on Dana’s death, although they did clear up some points that needed clearing up. But I was still as far away as ever from finding Dana’s killer.