The Texas Rancher's Family

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  Erin squeezed his hands. She didn’t, either.

  * * *

  “YOU MUST HAVE HAD a great Mother’s Day,” Darcy remarked the next morning, when Erin showed up at the store.

  Erin had never been good at hiding her feelings. Still, it would be good to hear what her friend was thinking. “How do you figure that?” she asked curiously.

  “You’re smiling from ear to ear.” Darcy keyed her employee code into the cash register. “Seriously, it was okay this year?”

  Erin walked around, turning on lights. “More than okay.” Briefly, she related what had happened the day before, culminating with the heartfelt gifts and cards her family—and Heather—had given her to celebrate her special day.

  Darcy nodded. “What about Mac?”

  He’d given her the best gift of all. Peace. The feeling of being cared for, the hope that what they shared would one day turn into love. If it hadn’t done so already. Erin knew, when it came to her feelings, she was close to the point of no return.

  “I’m not Mac’s mother.”

  Darcy coughed. “Clearly.”

  “Or his wife.” Although she’d like to be.

  Whoa! Where had that thought come from?

  “Hmm. Well, I’ve got a message for you. Travis Anderson called and wanted to tell you he sent you an email. He wants you to vet the letter to Horizon Oil Company before he sends it off. And he’d prefer to do that as soon as possible, since he and Liz are in the throes of baby-girl bliss.” Darcy stopped and clapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry. I—” Like everyone else who knew her, Darcy had refrained from talking about other couples with precious little girls, for fear of what emotions it would conjure up for Erin.

  She lifted a palm. “It’s okay. I’m happy for them.”

  “I know that,” Darcy commiserated. “But still, it has to be hard.”

  Erin walked over to straighten a stack of shirts. “Because it brings up memories of the time I had a brand-new baby daughter to fuss over.”

  “Right.”

  Erin derived comfort where she found it. “I still have those memories. I’ll always have them.”

  “But you don’t have her.”

  Erin placed a hand over her heart. “In here, I do,” she vowed quietly.

  Darcy shook her head in wonder. “You really have changed.”

  Erin knew she had. And it was all due to Mac and his little girl, and the love they’d brought into her life.

  * * *

  UNFORTUNATELY, SHE DIDN’T get to see Mac at all the rest of the day. He was out drumming up votes among the county commissioners, and putting together several different plans to situate the wind farm. The first option was still to locate all the wind turbines on the Triple Canyon Ranch. But he had other options, too, with smaller numbers of turbines being settled on the Armstrong, Briscoe, and Anderson and McCabe ranches, as well as several others.

  So Erin picked up Heather and her boys from school, fed them all dinner, supervised homework and baths, and put them to bed. Finished, she sat down with the plans Mac had left for her to peruse.

  “When are you going to give him an answer?” Gavin asked that evening when he came home from the hospital and found her still poring over the details.

  “He needs to know before the county commissioners’ meeting on Thursday evening.”

  “And the other option? Have you responded to G.W. and Horizon Oil Company?”

  “Travis Anderson gave them their answer this morning,” she responded.

  He cocked a brow. “No drilling.”

  “None.”

  The twins, overhearing the conversation, came into the kitchen, as did Nicholas. Erin had only to look at their faces to know they all had something they wanted to say to her.

  “If you want to keep the ranch, we’ll all contribute to paying the taxes,” Gavin promised.

  “But we won’t be living here indefinitely,” Bess said gently.

  Bridget nodded. “It’s time for us to move on. Get our own places.”

  “I’ll be around for a couple more years,” Nicholas promised. “But then I’m going off to college. It’ll just be you here, Erin, and the boys.”

  “And we’re worried about you,” Gavin concluded. “Between the store and the ranch, it’s a lot to keep up.” He paused, letting his words sink in. “Maybe it’s time we all moved on.”

  * * *

  ERIN THOUGHT ABOUT what her brothers and sisters had said all through the night. She was still thinking about it when she woke up Tuesday morning.

  She knew she had to make a decision...soon. Before she did that, she needed to talk with Mac some more. So she asked her sisters if they would drop all three kids at school on their way to the university.

  “Since it’s just the two of us...I have something I want to give you before we get started on business,” Mac told Erin when they came face-to-face in the foyer.

  Erin’s heart skipped a beat when he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small, navy-blue velvet box. “You didn’t have to d-do this,” she stammered.

  He smiled. “I think I did. You’re such a good mom and you’ve been so kind to Heather and to me. I wanted to give you something for Mother’s Day, too. But I wanted to do it in private.”

  And this was, Erin knew, the first chance they’d had to be really and truly alone in days.

  With trembling fingers, she undid the white satin ribbon and opened the lid. Inside was a heart-shaped gold locket on a chain. On the front were engraved the words Light of My Life. On the back were the dates of Angelica’s birth and death. Inside were two photos, one of Angelica as a newborn, the other taken toward the end, when she was still alert and happy. “Oh, Mac...”

  He cupped Erin’s shoulders with his palms and locked eyes with her. “I bought this for you because I get it. You’re always going to be Angelica’s mom. I understand you wanting to hang on to that,” he said with heartfelt poignancy. “I don’t want you to forget her, either.”

  With tears obscuring her vision, Erin dived into his arms and wreathed her arms about his neck, the locket still clutched in her hand. “I love you,” she said before she could stop herself. “I love you so much.”

  His answering smile was slow and sure. He threaded his hands through her hair and bent his head. Always more a man of action than words, he clasped her to him. His lips met hers in a scorching kiss that was so deep and romantic it fulfilled every sexual fantasy she had ever had. Erin gave her feelings free rein in return. Not stopping, even when he swept her up in his arms and carried her to her bedroom.

  There, the passion quickly built to a fever pitch. His hands were as busy as hers, stroking and loving, taking each other to ecstasy.

  Mac slid between her legs. Erin opened herself up to him and he thrust deep inside. Control eluded them. Their breathing came in a rush, and the connection between them kicked into high gear, until at last they found the hot, shimmering release they craved.

  Mac collapsed on top of her. Then he shifted, so she was on top, her head pillowed on his shoulder, his arms tight around her.

  She’d barely recovered when he made love to her again.

  And then one more time.

  And only when they were both exhausted, their bodies sated, did he raise himself on his elbow and stare down in her face.

  She could tell. Whatever this was—it was serious.

  Intent, focused, he said softly, “About what you said earlier...”

  That she’d admitted she loved him.

  And he...hadn’t.

  Her spirits crashing as swiftly as they had soared, Erin flashed a casual “everything’s all right” smile and got up to find her clothing. Her gaze still averted, she slipped on her panties and bra, then found the locket she’d been too busy to put on, and had as a consequence left on the bedside table.

  Please don’t let me ruin this when we have so little time left, and please, please, please, don’t let him tell me he doesn’t feel the same. Becaus
e, heaven knows, there are some things better left unspoken.

  Erin bent her head, then turned her back to him so he could assist her with the clasp of the necklace. “Forget it, Mac,” she told him kindly.

  I was a fool.

  “I can’t,” he said just as gently.

  Erin knew he was waiting for her to turn and look him in the eye. She shrugged again. “I got carried away.”

  Mac came up behind her, his big body emanating heat and desire. “We tend to do that a lot, don’t we?” he teased, as he reached up to assist.

  When he had a hold of the chain, Erin lifted her hair. She shut her eyes briefly. The backs of his fingers brushed the nape of her neck. She worked to affect a light attitude, even as her heart pounded in her chest. “We certainly do.” Just now, she’d been more “carried away” than she had in her entire life. To the point her body was still tingling. And his was likely doing the same.

  But passion and tenderness, understanding and friendship, weren’t the same as love. He knew that. Accepted it.

  Did she?

  Mac fastened the clasp. Savoring the feel of him so close to her, Erin held the locket, which was now pressed against her chest.

  Gently, he turned her around, looked deep into her eyes. “And I do want to have that conversation,” he told her quietly, meaningfully.

  Just not now.

  Erin wanted to tell Mac it was okay. That this wasn’t a conversation they ever had to have. Or in other words, just because she was a romantic fool didn’t mean he had to be, too. They could continue on just as they were, as they had previously agreed they would. As the unexpected gift they were to each other, as lovers and very good friends.

  They could feel like a family when they needed to be. And go their separate ways when they didn’t.

  Erin opened her mouth, not sure how to begin.

  And once again, life intervened in a most unwanted and unexpected way. Outside, the sound of a truck rumbled swiftly up the driveway and came to a halt in front of the ranch house. The motor was cut. A telltale silence fell.

  Mac lifted a brow. “Expecting someone?”

  “No, of course not.” Erin rushed to the window to see who it was. She peered out the blinds to see who was getting out of the vehicle, then groaned. “Talk about bad timing!” She shoved her hands through her hair, restoring order to the mussed strands. “What is he doing here?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  “What took you so long to answer the door?” G.W. asked Erin five minutes later.

  “I was getting ready to go to work.” Or I would have been soon, anyway.

  He brushed past her with a disgruntled look. “Yeah, well, we need to talk, so it’s a good thing the kids aren’t here.”

  Erin agreed about that. The last thing their boys needed was to see them argue. Acutely aware that Mac was still upstairs, Erin led the way toward the kitchen.

  “Why did you have Travis Anderson send your response to Horizon Oil? Why didn’t you go through me?” G.W. appeared embarrassed.

  Erin poured her ex a cup of coffee. She handed it to him the way he liked it—black. “I thought it would be easier.”

  “For whom?” he asked angrily.

  “Laramie County isn’t your territory anymore, G.W. It hasn’t been since you requested a transfer after Angelica died.” Erin poured herself a glass of water from the pitcher in the fridge. She sat down at the kitchen table. “Horizon Oil sent you to talk to me about signing over the mineral rights only because they thought you would have some influence over me.”

  G.W. sat down, too. “So?”

  Erin gave him a level look. “So it was unfair of them to put you in that position, and really unfair of you to do the same to me.”

  He quaffed half his coffee in one long gulp. “Is that why you turned Horizon Oil down flat? Because you resented the use of our personal connection?” He rushed on. “Darn it all, Erin, I am trying to do you a favor here!” He flattened his palms on the tabletop. “The money you’d get from oil would allow you to make a fresh start elsewhere.”

  That again? “I don’t want to make a fresh start.”

  He shook his head in condemnation. “You and the kids are never going to get over Angelica’s death the way I have, unless you all physically move on.”

  Erin thought about Mac’s present to her, the fact that he understood her need to not only never let go of the memories of her daughter, but to hold on to them with all her heart and soul for the rest of her life. Wearily, she told G.W., “We’ve been over this. I don’t want to move on.”

  Her ex shook his head, turned away. And there, right where she’d left them on the kitchen table, were the various proposals Mac had given her. G.W. eyed the maps and diagrams bearing the North Wind Energy logo. “I gather you are still considering Wheeler’s proposal.”

  Was she? In truth, there was only one question she wanted Mac to ask her, and he hadn’t.

  “I haven’t said yes to anything yet, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

  “If he has anything to say about it,” G.W.’s tone turned ugly, “you will.”

  Erin shifted into battle mode, too. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Wake up, Erin. You accuse me, but Wheeler’s using his personal connection with you, too. Why do you think he moved in here with his little girl, who just coincidentally happens to be the same age our daughter would be right now, had she lived? Why do you think he’s working so hard to ingratiate himself into your life? Because he knows getting on your good side is key to getting what he wants—the Triple Canyon.”

  Feeling as if she’d just had the wind knocked out of her, Erin drew in a shaky breath. “Mac’s not like that.”

  “Oh, yeah?” G.W. pushed his chair back so hard and fast it scraped the floor. “Well, he seems pretty determined to me.”

  Without warning, Mac loomed in the doorway. Erin didn’t know whether to be relieved that he had shown up to protect and defend her against her ex-husband, or sorry that he had just given G.W. more fuel in his argument about unfair business practices.

  She knew full well what G.W. would say if he realized she had slept with Mac. That he had bedded her only to get her land.

  G.W.’s surprised expression turned to one of contempt.

  Mac walked over to pour himself a cup of coffee. The decanter was nearly empty, so he only got half a mug. “Everything okay here?” he asked casually. He turned to look at G.W. “I thought I heard arguing.”

  Erin swallowed and quietly pushed back her chair. She stood, too, conveniently positioned between both men. “G.W. was just leaving,” she stated in a voice that brooked no discussion.

  Her ex looked at Mac. “You hurt her. You hurt my family. You’ll answer to me.” He turned to Erin. “You’ve got some mighty big decisions to make here. Be sure, when you finally make them, that they are what you—and not what anyone else—wants.”

  He slammed his hat on his head and stalked out. The front door slammed behind him.

  Half of Erin wanted to sink to the floor in a heap of tears. The other half had gone numb again. She swallowed and cleared away the coffee cups, dumping remnants in the sink. Made sure the warmer was off. “How much of that did you hear?” she asked, still not looking at him.

  Mac folded his arms, clearly not pleased about what had gone down, or the fact that Erin had insisted he wait upstairs while she dealt with her ex.

  “Enough to get the gist of it,” Mac related. “He’s wrong about me. I’m not using you or our relationship to sway you.”

  Erin gave a little smile. “I know that.”

  “And yet...” His eyes hadn’t left hers.

  She inhaled. “G.W. is right. I’ve got decisions to make that are going to impact my entire family for the rest of our lives. I need to make them alone, without undue influence—intentional or otherwise—from anyone.”

  Mac’s eyes narrowed. “An hour ago you wanted to talk to me about all this.”

  An hour ago she
had been looking for him to help her find a solution. She realized now that was unfair. She lifted a hand before he could come any closer.

  “We’re not a couple, Mac—in anything but a very temporary sense.” If they had been, he would have told her he loved her, too, instead of delaying that conversation for much later. After the county commissioners’ vote.

  He opened his mouth, as if about to challenge that declaration.

  Knowing her heart would break if he said anything now, Erin rushed on, making no effort to hide her aggravation. “The point is, this is all getting way too complicated. In a few weeks, you and Heather are headed back to Philadelphia to your life there. The boys and I will still be here—”

  Mac interrupted her. “You know one way or another the wind farm is going to happen.”

  Erin nodded. That much had been clear after the bus trip to the Panhandle. The community was really on board. The county commissioners would follow.

  “I don’t care where it’s set up,” he told her.

  Erin got that, too.

  “And then you’re going to leave,” she said, swallowing a lump in her throat.

  His eyes softened, as did his voice. He took her hand. “You could come with us. Run Monroe’s from a distance. Set up a boot-making shop there.”

  She pulled away in a panic. “Now who’s talking crazy?” This was all too much, too soon, too fast.

  He remained where he was, but kept up the lobbying in a smooth-as-silk tone. “If we can adapt to Texas, who says you can’t adapt to Pennsylvania?”

  “Please, Mac.” Erin felt a silly little flutter deep in her belly, the kind that always preceded their lovemaking. She drew a shaky breath. “Don’t say any more.”

  He exhaled in obvious regret. “I know it’s too early for us to have this conversation. It’s why I didn’t want to have it.”

  “And you were right,” she agreed. She tucked her arms around her, reining her body in as tightly as her emotions. “We have our own lives, our own jobs and responsibilities. To that end, we have to put ourselves and our own families first.”

  Their eyes locked. “This sounds familiar.”

  Erin recalled what Mac had told her about Cassandra not consulting him on anything. About him being on the outside of every important decision. “This isn’t the same as when you were married, Mac.”