Cutting Cords

by Mickie B. Ashling

  “To your future, my beautiful boy,” he purred, taking sips of his drink but never removing his eyes from mine.

  “Why am I here?” I asked, after I’d just swallowed half the contents of my glass.

  “Because you deserve to be and because I want you.”

  “You could have anyone, Max. What do you see in me?”

  “You have the eyes of an angel,” he said in a voice guaranteed to tantalize. “Old eyes that have seen too much yet remain innocent and expressive as fuck. Conversely, they ooze lust and carnality at its finest. You could make a grown man come in minutes.”

  I was taken aback and at a complete loss for words. “You exaggerate,” I croaked out, the best I could come up with.

  “Not at all,” he said, reaching for my hand and placing it on his erection. “The proof is right here.”

  I moved forward, drawn to him because of his words and his need, and because I was young and had a more than healthy libido. I could feel myself growing hard, the weight in between my legs pushing at my pants.

  “Get on your knees,” I commanded, shocking myself. I should have been the one to suck him off, but I needed to see him humbled for some reason. If I was going to settle, I wanted it to be on my terms.

  His smile was wicked when he moved forward and kissed me, sweeping the inside of my mouth with his aggressive tongue. “You’re a brat,” he said, nibbling on my lower lip, “but I’ll concede, and give you want you want for now. Next time it will be all about me.”

  I pushed down on his shoulders and unzipped my pants with one hand, freeing up my cock, which bobbed obscenely in front of him. There were drops of moisture dotting the plump head, and he licked at it just like he would a Popsicle. He groaned in ecstasy, making me shudder.

  “So good…. “ I closed my eyes and let him sweep me away. Max gave me exactly what I needed. He managed to take me in deep, almost to the root, and I was impressed. Most people stopped halfway, but he seemed to get off on my size. He moaned and hummed all the while, twirling his tongue around my shaft in maddening circles. I felt him stick the tip of his tongue into my slit and fuck me gently. My knees were starting to give out on me, but I managed to lock them in place and stand tall as I reveled in the pleasure. He was licking me up and down and then taking me in deep again as his throat muscles enveloped me. I felt him snake his hands around my waist, and he began to pull me back and forth, urging me to fuck his mouth, allowing my cock to go deeper each time. The man had a zero gag reflex, much to my delight, and the harder I pushed the stronger he sucked. It was a stellar blowjob and undeniably the best I’d ever had.

  “Coming, Max,” I huffed as I felt my balls tighten up and the orgasm seconds away. I thought I should pull out or at least offer as a courtesy, but he was having none of that. He sucked me in twice as hard and I exploded down his throat, practically screaming out his name as I came in hot, pulsing beats. “Max….”

  He managed to mumble my name, despite the mouthful, and I sank down and pulled him away. His mouth let go of my cock with a soft pop and he transferred his attention to my face, showering me with kisses. He was sucking and nibbling on my lower lip. I could taste myself, as well as the vodka and Max’s unique flavor. It was all new, and I figured I’d better get used to it since he didn’t seem too eager to part with me.

  I reached down and felt him straining against his pants, the wet spot clear evidence of his need. I stood and pulled him toward a room. He followed silently so I assumed I was heading in the right direction.

  “Leave the lights off,” I whispered as we started to shuck our clothes. He was amazingly slow and calm, considering he was that close. I was the one who was a nervous wreck, convinced that he’d argue and turn on the lights. I didn’t want him to see my legs and ruin what was turning out to be a great night.

  “I want to see you, darling, but it can wait,” he said in that bossy sort of sexy voice. He took my hand and placed it on his cock, which was long and thick and smooth as silk. His crown was wet with the moisture that oozed out of his slit, making it nice and slippery as my thumb did small circles around him. “I must have you, Sloan. Has anyone ever penetrated you before?”

  Somehow he knew I was a newbie. Despite my bravado and my attitude, he knew—which kind of sucked.

  “Twice.”

  “When was the last time?” he asked, moving his hands all over me. The tube of lubricant had magically appeared, and he was slicking my asshole as he talked.

  “Umm, several nights ago,” I gasped when I felt his fingers stretching and curling inside me, turning me into a puddle of quivering flesh. My arms automatically wrapped themselves around his neck and I pressed my face against his hot skin. “Oh God, Max,” I sighed, practically passing out from the pleasure of his touch.

  “And before that?” he asked, wanting an answer.

  “Three years ago.”

  “Oh… you’re practically a virgin,” Max crooned, beside himself with excitement. “Come, Beauty,” he said, leading me to an enormous four-poster bed. It could have easily slept four grown men and was high enough off the floor that we needed a little step stool to climb up onto the mattress. There were chains on all four posters.

  “What the fuck is this?” I asked, seeing the cuffs that dangled at the end of the chains.

  “This is where I take you on the ride of your life.”

  “Shit.”

  20

  MAX HELPED me up on the bed, pushing me gently onto the fifteen hundred-thread-count sheets that felt like clouds against my skin. His kisses were learned, his style of lovemaking very much like his photography, precise and nearly perfect. There was a part of me that could observe this coldly, as if I were perched on one of the four posts, looking down at actors in a porn flick. The fact that I could separate and discern this did not bode well. I had hoped to forget Cole while lying in Max’s arms, to erase the night of passion, and move forward with my life.

  Yet, despite all my good intentions and Max’s outstanding technique, it wasn’t happening. My heart just wasn’t in this.

  “Relax, my beauty,” he whispered in my ear, most likely sensing the inner conflict. I was forcing myself to keep my thoughts on Max when all I wanted was Cole’s body draped over me.

  Don’t get me wrong, though. My senses were enjoying this new experience, no doubts there. But it was all physical, and the romantic part of me that wanted to be loved and to love back was screaming in protest. This wasn’t right, because despite Cole’s fear and reluctance to come out or even admit he was gay, I wanted to hear him say the words. Deep in my heart, I knew that he cared. He had a lifetime of prejudice that I was going to have to overcome, but I was a stubborn and determined man. I wanted him, and now that I’d been given a taste of what he had to offer, I knew that I wasn’t going to settle for Max, no matter how good a lover he was.

  In the meantime, I planned to enjoy every bit of my interlude with this fascinating man, who was getting ready to put his tongue where no one had ever gone before. I’d read about rimming and imagined doing it or having it done to me, but I’d never been with anyone I was willing to try it with. I would have certainly wanted to do it to Cole, but the one night of sex we had was primarily about him and my desire to comfort him after the accident in the subway. I would have let him fuck me upside down if that’s what he needed. There wasn’t any time for leisurely exploration.

  I gasped when I felt Max’s warm tongue twirling around the soft skin between my balls and asshole. I could feel my cock growing and lengthening despite the earlier blowjob. That seemed like an appetizer compared to what was happening right now.

  “Jesus, Max,” I moaned, caught up in the heat of the moment. I spread my legs apart, wanton and eager to give myself over to the master, who was playing me expertly.

  “I want to hear you scream, my beauty,” he purred softly, lifting his head for a moment. “Look at me, Sloan.”

  I lifted up on my elbows and stared into his eyes.

  “
Do you want me, lover?”

  I wrapped my fingers around my tumescent cock, tugging at it, and spreading the clear drops that oozed out of my slit. “Does this look like I might be having second thoughts?”

  Max laughed and swatted my hand away, replacing it with his mouth and burying my cock down his throat. His nose was pressed against the soft hair that I’d left unshaven and he was moaning like a man in pain. I pulled him away, not wanting to come in his mouth again.

  “Fuck me, Max.”

  “I want to tie you up.”

  “What?” I squeaked in surprise. I’d read about this, but again never experienced it. I found myself getting terribly excited by the thought, and my cock twitched, approving of the scenario as well.

  “Yes, please.”

  “Good boy.” He moved and positioned me so I was spread eagled. He attached a soft leather cuff to my wrist and snapped it into place. “Does that feel too tight?”

  “No.”

  He nodded and moved onto my other limbs, tethering them as well. I found myself unbearably aroused, and the idea of being completely at his mercy was intensely erotic. I suppose that I shouldn’t have been surprised. I was always a go-getter and kinky sex was something I had yet to try. The fact that it was happening with a man I trusted was a huge benefit.

  The room was still dark. The only lights on were the ones in the bathroom and that bit of illumination spilled into the room, enabling Max to see what he was doing. He’d respected my wishes for the anonymity of darkness, and my fears of being revealed as a cutter were held at bay for now. I knew he’d find out eventually, but I could relax and enjoy this wild ride for the moment.

  “How do you feel about pain, my darling?”

  The question caught me by surprise. My life was filled with pain, mostly self-inflicted. “What do you mean?”

  “Have you ever felt the sting of a flogger?”

  “No.”

  “Would you like to try it?”

  “What does it look like?”

  Max practically jumped off the bed and opened up a large wooden cabinet on the opposite side of the room. I was too far away to see what was in it, but he came back to bed with a short wooden stick that had pieces of leather hanging off it. There were knots at the end of each leather strip. He brushed it gently against my torso, down my stomach, and then swirled it around my groin. My cock was responding nicely to the feel of the soft leather.

  “If that’s a flogger, I like it.”

  “This is, but it’s not designed to tickle, my love. It’s designed to hurt.”

  “How?”

  I watched him raise his hand and lower the flogger on my legs. My body jumped in response. It wasn’t what I expected. There was a whisper of pain, but one I could certainly handle. I also didn’t expect my body to practically hum with the blow. My cock was pressing hard against my stomach, wanting more.

  “More.”

  “Fucking beautiful,” Max said. His smile was radiant when he saw my reaction.

  He hit me several more times, each one making me even more excited. Finally, he must have reached his own level because he tossed the flogger aside and rolled a condom on his distended member. He slicked us both with the lube he’d left on the mattress and impaled me with his cock. I screamed when his cock nudged my gland. He cried out when my muscles clutched his prick in their velvet vice. Max paused for a nanosecond, hovering over me and trying to catch a breath. “You are going to kill me, darling.”

  “I doubt it. Please, Max, more….”

  He began to move again, pushing in and out in a steady rhythm, poking at my prostate with the tip of his cock. I was bucking and writhing, moaning like a ghost trapped in an attic. The idea of being tied down and unable to get away was intense and hurling me over the edge. The pleasure had turned to pain and was shifting into pleasure again, driving me completely and utterly insane. I was thrashing around, close to losing my mind, until finally I exploded, shooting ropes of hot come all over Max’s chest and neck even as he shuddered through his own orgasm. He collapsed on top of me, but not before he rewarded me with a deep kiss. “You’re such a good boy,” he sighed, pressing his face on my collarbone. “I think you’ve just found your true calling,” he chuckled, despite the loss of breath.

  “What?” I had no idea what he was talking about. All I knew was that I was done for the night. Wrung out and depleted of every drop of fluid in my body.

  We lay like that for several more minutes until he pulled away reluctantly and began to unsnap the cuffs. He rubbed my wrists and ankles, making sure the blood was circulating properly before he stood and went to the bathroom. I was too strung out to move. When he came back, he had a warm washcloth and he began to clean off the come that was smeared all over me.

  “What the hell was that?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

  “That was just a little taste of my brand of loving.”

  “Whoa.”

  “Indeed,” Max replied, bending to kiss me chastely. “You are full of surprises, young man.”

  “I surprised myself.”

  “You’ve never explored BDSM?”

  “Never.”

  “Would you be interested in learning more? I think you’d make an ideal submissive.”

  “I don’t take orders well.”

  “You did just fine a moment ago.”

  “That was different. I doubt you’ll find me very submissive,” I told him, and I was pretty sure I knew what I was talking about. “No one has ever been able to tell me what to do.”

  “That’s because they never offered the right enticement. I know what makes you tick, Sloan. I felt the scars on your legs.”

  “What?” I was shocked and embarrassed at being found out so soon. I thought I’d have more time.

  “Darling, please don’t fret. I work with models. There isn’t a single one out there who doesn’t have some sort of body-image issue. Cutters are pretty common in my world.”

  “No,” I whispered, looking at him in horror. He’d said the word without even flinching.

  “Yes, my darling boy. But you’re in good hands, Sloan. I can give you controlled pain that will segue into pleasure of the highest kind. You’ll never cut yourself again.”

  “Really?”

  “You’ll have to trust me on this.”

  “Okay.”

  “You’ll let me take you on this journey?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will you stay the night?”

  “No. I’d like to go home and think about everything we did.”

  “Oh. I’m disappointed,” Max said.

  “I’m sorry, Max. I’m a bit overwhelmed by everything that’s happened since we’ve met.”

  “I can understand, Sloan. Just remember, I’m here for you. I’m your friend and I’d love to become your Dom if you’d let me.”

  “My Dom?”

  Max stood and crossed the room to a glass-covered bookshelf and pulled out two books. “Here. Take these home and read them. It’ll explain more.”

  I glanced down at the black leather-bound books that had the words Submission and Dominance on one and Bondage and Masochism on the other. The writing was in blood red and looked quite formidable.

  “My homework?” I asked with a reluctant smile.

  “Yes. Read the books and then let me know how you feel.”

  21

  COLE MADE his way into the bathroom, desperate to take a piss. He’d lost track of time, hardly ever looking at the clock anymore, but Juliana was gone, rushing off to work even though it was a Sunday. Retail knew no weekends, and hers were usually screwed up in one form or another. Her normal days off were Wednesday and Thursday. She was fortunate that he had much more free time than she did, due to his classes being online, so he could see her in the middle of the week. As a result, Saturdays and Sundays didn’t hold any significance for either of them.

  He stood in front of the toilet and lifted the seat. Cole’s toilet manners were impeccable, thanks to h
is mother’s harping. Being raised in a primarily female household guaranteed that Juliana and Emily would never be subjected to a piss-covered seat. The very idea was repugnant to him. Practicing his aim was something he’d learned as a child, and he did it automatically so it didn’t really matter if he could see or not, or if the lights were on or off. He just knew how.

  He finished his business, flushed the toilet, put the seat back down, and went to the sink to brush his teeth. He paused as he was flossing, unsettled all of a sudden. There was that smell again. That sharp, metallic smell of blood he thought he’d smelled a few weeks ago. He looked down to the right and saw nothing. He turned left, hoping to find what he was looking for and saw nothing either. He shrugged and continued with his flossing.

  When he was done, he went back into his bedroom to get dressed, because he was going to meet John for lunch. He’d called him earlier and asked for this special meeting, hoping that John would be able to grant him this request. He had a terrible need to talk to someone who was impartial, who could see both sides of the argument. He wanted to tell him he’d asked Juliana to get married, but he wanted her to meet with John so he could enlighten her on all the aspects of dealing with a disabled man. He threw on a pair of jeans and a black shirt, grabbing his leather jacket just in case it got cold.

  Emily was in the kitchen, sitting at the table and having a coffee. “Good morning,” she said rather softly. “I have a massive hangover.”

  “I’m not surprised. I would have been disappointed if you didn’t.”

  She giggled, but was instantly sorry as the movement made her head hurt even more. “Fuck….”

  “What time does your train leave?”

  “Three-thirty.”

  “Sloan around?”

  “Yeah. He came home last night after all. I let him in after he sent me a text.”