Cutting Cords

by Mickie B. Ashling

  “Be nice and I’ll let you play.”

  “How long till you’re done?”

  “If Max has his way, I’ll be here all day.”

  “You’ll have to break for lunch.”

  “Meet me behind the Spanish wall?”

  “Only if you promise not to change.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  “Slut.”

  “Sloan,” he growled, reminding me not so subtly that he was in charge.

  I leaned into him, and for that brief second, we were in complete harmony. My cock swelled against my jeans. “I can’t wait.”

  “Me neither.”

  Chapter 26

  THE FOUNTAIN was making tinkling sounds, and the birds were chirping as I crept along the path that led to the side of the Spanish garden for our assignation. Trent was already there, and I soaked in the sight of my gorgeous “Scotsman.” He was still in full dress, as promised. He had on a black jacket over a white ruffled shirt and that funny, round leather purse thingy, the sporran. It hung down below his waist, dead set in front of his cock. I wondered if he had the good sense to slip a few condoms into said purse for good measure. It was all well and good to spray my chest last night, but I wanted him deep in my ass when he came this time.

  “Yo, Highlander,” I flirted playfully. “You wanna fuck?”

  “You irreverent shit,” Trent said, smiling at me. “Come here.”

  He seized my neck when I was close enough and slammed me up against a tree. There was something about this aggressive move that was sexy as hell, and I whimpered when he crushed my mouth with hungry lips. He tasted as good as I remembered, and we began grinding against each other. I went a step further and slid my hand underneath the heavy wool, thrilled to feel his cock rising steadily, thick and heavy in my hand. Twirling my thumb around his already-moist head, I heard the first moan escaping from his lips.

  “You’re so fucking hot,” I breathed, speeding up my hand job.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” he said, leading me over to a strategically designed pile of rocks. There were also several large bushes that gave us some privacy. Not much if you were intent on spying, but enough for a casual walker to overlook us. Since the gardens were closed to all but our group, I was pretty sure we could get away with this. He pushed me down on my knees and lifted his kilt. “Suck me off, boy.”

  “I hate it when you call me boy.”

  Trent captured my face between his hands and glared down at me. “Are we doing this or what?”

  “Doing.” I swallowed my snappy comeback and took him down my throat instead. This was too bloody hot to get all bent over a stupid name. I’d let him call me anything he wanted if he continued to look at me like I was the most desirable man in the universe.

  “So good,” Trent sighed, pushing in and out of my mouth. He adjusted his motion when he realized I could take it all without gagging, pushing in a little deeper. Soon I was sucking on him as if the world were ending in the next five minutes. The very idea that someone could stroll by and see us made it much more exciting. He stopped himself seconds before coming and hauled me up his body, mashing his lips against mine. “I have to fuck you.”

  “Yes.”

  Fumbling in his sporran, he pulled out a condom, and I exhaled in relief. It was the lubricated kind, although I’d been devious enough to squirt some slick up my ass just before joining him. I didn’t feel like being ripped from stem to stern, but I definitely wanted to get fucked. Literally.

  “Hurry,” I breathed, plucking and lifting his kilt.

  “Bossy little sub.”

  “Whatever,” I sassed, seconds before he bent me over a rock, yanked down my jeans, and plowed into my ass. I’d left my briefs in the dressing room after lubricating myself, fully prepared to be ravaged by my horny Highlander. And he was taking possession enthusiastically. It felt great to be desired, and I had to hold him back for a second, relishing the fullness and his hot breath against my ear, telling me I was gorgeous. A tear escaped unwittingly, not because I was filled with sadness, but because I was soaring with happiness for the first time in a very long time.

  “Move,” I begged. “Fuck me hard.”

  “Say please.”

  “Please, sir,” I said, surprising us both with that word.

  “You’re so mine,” he rumbled triumphantly, wrapping my cock in his right hand and pumping me in time with the rocking motion of his lower body. He thrust in and out of my eager ass, sucking up marks around my neck. I knew there would be hell to pay when Max saw them, but I didn’t give a shit. It was such a turn-on to feel Trent out of control and desperate because of me.

  “Fuck me,” I begged, “harder.”

  He shifted position and drew me up against his chest, tilting his hips to go deeper. I was practically sitting on his cock, but he was up to the task, and his busy hand kept up the rhythm on my dripping shaft. “Oh my God.”

  “Come with me,” he ordered, extracting a guttural sound out of my throat when he glanced my prostate, one second before he came deep inside of me.

  I spurted hot jizz all over the rock. When he had milked every drop, he spun me around and kissed me roughly. “You’re crazy,” he breathed, resting his forehead on mine, even as his hands continued to knead my ass cheeks.

  “You make me feel good,” I said, trying to catch a breath.

  “I’m glad.”

  “We better get you presentable or Max will implode.”

  “He’s already given me an earful,” Trent said, pulling away reluctantly. He tied off the condom and threw it in a handy trash receptacle.

  “What do you mean?” I asked as we straightened up our attire.

  “I got the usual lecture about taking advantage of a bad situation.”

  I held his arm and looked him the eye. “You’re not.”

  “I know.”

  We kissed again and headed back to the English gardens. I was intent on taking this up with Max, who needed to realize I was not his personal property. Unfortunately, he was already in the middle of the next shoot, and I knew that interrupting was impossible. Since they didn’t need me for the rest of the afternoon, I decided to find an Apple store and buy a new phone. Thankfully, all my contacts were backed up on my account, and getting them restored on the new phone wouldn’t be difficult.

  I was informed that there was a store on Regent Street, which wasn’t too far away. The taxi driver dropped me off at the entrance, and I spent the next hour getting everything I needed. I walked out with a spanking new iPhone that showed ten missed calls. All from Cole.

  Ducking into a handy Starbucks, I ordered a Grande iced Caramel Macchiato. The weather was warm enough to warrant the cool drink, and I was in the mood. Finding a small table for one, I sat and began listening to my voice mails. In the first three messages, Cole sounded contrite and extremely upset. He begged me to return his calls. The next messages were a little more formal. They were left earlier today, hours after the initial call, when the hateful admission wasn’t so fresh. His last two messages were angry and demanding. Well, fuck him! Did he think I would jump at the chance to hear more about his escapades with Noriko? Regardless of what Trent said, this entire scenario wouldn’t have gone this far if she hadn’t turned on the geisha charm, pursuing Cole aggressively. Maybe Ken had offered her some sort of bonus if she could get his son back on track in the world of heterosexuals.

  My thumb hovered over his number on my favorites. I didn’t want to make the call, but I was in a much better frame of mind and in a public place. Keeping this as civil as possible would help me to move forward. Knowing I had Trent on my side was an immense source of comfort. There’s nothing like a new love interest to help one get over an old relationship.

  I hit send and waited, holding my breath. When Cole finally answered, I sucked in a lungful of air. “You called?”

  “Why have you waited so long to return my calls?” Cole said, sounding completely unapologetic. “I’ve left you seve
ral messages.”

  “I had to buy a new phone. The old one ran into a wall.”

  “Temper tantrum, Sloan?”

  “Fuck off, Cole. What do you want?”

  “I want to explain.”

  “What’s to explain? You fucked her, and it’s over between us.”

  “It just happened, Sloan.”

  “Your dick just flew into her twat by accident?”

  “Goddamn, Sloan! You make everything so ugly.”

  “It is ugly!” I shrilled. Several people glanced in my direction, and I willed myself to calm down and get it together. It was difficult, because Cole had a way of pressing every damn button in my body. I still loved him, unfortunately. No amount of hot sex with Trent was going to make my feelings disappear. Not in the foreseeable future.

  “What happened between us was unexpected. I never thought I’d be attracted to a woman again. You know it’s you I love.”

  “Your meaning of love and mine differ considerably. I never cheated on you, Cole. Despite all your doubts, I was faithful.”

  “Was?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business anymore, but my celibate days are over.”

  “That was quick.”

  “I’m just living up to your worst expectations.”

  “I never meant for this to happen.”

  “Was it all a lie, Cole? Were the last years of our life so abhorrent?”

  “They were the best, Sloan. I love you, and I always will.”

  “Then why did you do this behind my back? What kind of love is that?”

  “We’re in a different place right now. I feel that I can no longer make you happy, so why tie you down? Even under the best circumstances, our relationship would have changed with the advent of children.”

  “You’re assuming the worst. Not once have you given me the benefit of the doubt. You’re so fucking sure that I’ll be a miserable father you won’t even give me a chance. All that crap about wanting me to adopt after two years was all bullshit, wasn’t it? You never had any intention of letting me be a part of this.”

  “That’s not true; however, your reaction to Noriko sort of threw everything off balance.”

  “My reaction? She didn’t give me a hard-on, Cole. Shoot me! Hoping I’d accept her with open arms was delusional on your part. Even the lowest animal form will fight to protect its own.”

  “You’re so dramatic.”

  “I prefer to think of myself as honest. Brutally honest, maybe, but it’s far better than lying to the one person who you purported to love more than anything in the world.”

  “I still love you. That will never change.”

  “This conversation is pointless. All you’re doing is making me feel worse.”

  “That was not my intention.”

  “Did you hope that a few choice words would make me forget your lies?”

  “I never meant to betray you. Will you ever forgive me?”

  “I doubt it. When I get back to New York, I’ll be by to pack up my things, but I’ll call first. I don’t want to see either one of you. I’ll leave my keys on your desk when I’m done.”

  “Can’t we still be friends?”

  “Not with her in the picture.”

  “Sloan….”

  I knew he was crying, but so was I. I got up and walked out of the door and headed toward the hotel. I must have been quite the sight with my phone pressed up to one ear and the tears streaming down my face. Talk about a dramatic exit. “I have to hang up now.”

  “Please,” Cole begged. “Don’t shut me out.”

  “This was your move, shogun, not mine.”

  “Be reasonable.”

  “Good-bye.”

  Chapter 27

  WHEN I got back to the hotel, I headed straight to my room, threw myself on the bed, and broke down. My determination to never shed another tear over Cole was shot to hell by our conversation and the anguish in his voice. How could he feel so much remorse yet turn around and continue with his plan? I didn’t understand and probably never would. Maybe Cole felt there was something wrong with me and didn’t want me around his children. Maybe it was his plan all along to get rid of me before he got married. Then again, the logical voice in my head kept telling me to stop speculating. Cole had been contradicting himself from the beginning of this crisis. Asking me to stay and be a part of his life, and then in the same breath, pushing me away. Trent was probably right about Cole’s need for supremacy. It’s much easier to feel like the head of the household when you’re partnered with someone who has no career, no money, and basically no life other than the one you would provide. Noriko was his to do with as he pleased, while her sole purpose was to procreate and make him happy. I assumed that’s what it took to be a successful geisha. Pleasing the clientele regardless of anyone else’s feelings, including your own.

  I don’t even know why I was thinking of her. A quick glance at the clock on the nightstand spurred me into action. The photo shoot was probably over, and they would be showing up any second now. I didn’t want Trent to find me in the midst of another meltdown. I was determined to stop acting like a rejected wife.

  In the bathroom, my eyes automatically drifted to the shaving kit. I was sorely tempted, and I even picked up the blade and studied it again, but I fought the urge and put it back down. My altered state of mind helped push away the nagging demon. Two men, Max and Trent, were vying for a place in my bed and my life. They wouldn’t be if I were the big loser I kept seeing in the mirror. I had to keep telling myself I was desirable, witty, and in demand. The face staring back at me was red-eyed from weeping, but behind the tears were features that had made a ton of money for several people. I finally acknowledged that I wasn’t the troll I professed to be.

  A quick shower and shave helped clear my head, and I was more than presentable by the time Tin walked in with Trent close on his heels. My handsome redhead gathered me in his arms and planted a hungry kiss, ignoring Tin’s wolf whistles and vulgar asides. I was too caught up in the moment to really care about my best friend’s opinion of me.

  “You’ve been crying,” Trent whispered, astute as ever.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Let me take you out for dinner.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  He left to get ready. One second after the door closed, Tin was on me like rubber on tires. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “You’ve slept with him.” He looked stupefied. In all the years we’d known each other, and despite Tin’s cajoling, he’d never been successful in getting me to have extracurricular activities with a fellow model. This was a first, and it was quite shocking. “Mon dieu! It really is over with you and Cole.”

  “Duh….”

  “Tell me all about it.”

  “Maybe later,” I said, pulling away. “I need to go and talk to Max.”

  “La! He will be furious.”

  “I know.”

  “Good luck, chéri.”

  “Tell Trent to wait for me right here, okay?”

  “Oui.”

  I left him and made my way upstairs to Max’s suite. I wasn’t surprised when he opened the door and frowned the minute he saw me. “What do you want?”

  “To talk.”

  “What about?”

  “You know damned well what about.”

  He turned abruptly, and I followed him into the luxurious sitting room. He’d already poured himself a drink. “Do you want some wine or something?”

  I shook my head. “I’m going to dinner shortly.”

  “With him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you have any idea what you’re getting into?” Max turned on me suddenly. His pent-up fury burst like an infected boil. “Trent isn’t going to get down on his knees and propose marriage. He’s looking for someone who’s compatible with his nature, a submissive, Sloan. You’ve said repeatedly that you’re not interested in our lif
estyle. What makes you think Trent wants a vanilla relationship?

  “I’m not expecting anything from him, Max, other than what I’m getting at the moment.”

  “Don’t delude yourself into thinking he’s soft. He’s courting you and will do and say anything to get you into his bed.”

  “He’s already had me, Max. More than once, and I don’t see him morphing into the Marquis de Sade.”

  “Give him time and his true colors will emerge.”

  “Maybe, but for now, what’s more important is that he’s keeping me sane.”

  “What do you mean?”

  It occurred to me just then that Max had no idea Cole was sleeping with Noriko or that I had a cutting incident last night.

  “Cole and I broke up for good. There’s no hope for reconciliation.”

  “When did that happen?”

  “Last night. He admitted that he’d had sex with Noriko.”

  “Bastard! And then you turned right around and fucked Trent?” Max was livid, and looked like he was about to pop every blood vessel in his head.

  “Yes.”

  “Why him?” he shouted, getting right in my face.

  “Instead of you?”

  His anger was a little over the top, considering he wasn’t even my partner, but I knew he’d never stopped hoping. My admission was a slap in his face.

  “Why choose a complete stranger when I’ve loved you for years?”

  I shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know, Max. Why is anyone attracted to another human being? It’s not like you’re much different. We’re comparing oranges and oranges.”

  “I’m nothing like Trent.”

  “I’m talking about what’s inside.”

  Max frowned. “You think we’re alike?”

  “You both make me feel safe.”

  He let go abruptly and sank down on the sofa, looking utterly defeated. “Sloan….”

  I knelt in front of him and rested my head on his knees. He toyed with my hair and then caressed my cheek. “Darling, I would do anything to make you happy.”

  “I know, Max. Believe me when I say that I would give my right nut to feel the same, but I don’t. I would be lying if I told you I wanted you as a lover. And didn’t you advise me to go ahead and sleep with Trent that weekend in Montauk? To explore my limits before I made a decision about Cole and children?”