“It was time to find something more my speed, I guess.” I walked to the door to see where Sam was. I didn’t see his car anywhere. Where is he?
“Well, that’s disappointing.” Mark stood before me. How get over here so fast?
I took a step backward until I had my back against the wall. Mark closed the distance between us and stood within a foot of me, I could feel his hot breath on me. He put a hand on either side of my head on the wall, and he leaned forward and tried to kiss me.
Fortunately, I was quick thinking and shoved him, “Stop!” but he didn’t listen.
He took a step forward again with more assertiveness and tried to grab me by the shoulder, “Oh, come on. I know you want it.”
“I said stop, don’t you dare touch me,” I shouted as I tried to shove him again, but he caught my wrist before I could do so and he forcefully pushed me back against the wall.
“You know you want it so why are you trying to fight it.” I struggled against his grip, he was much stronger than me.
“Let go of me. Sam is going to be here any minute.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, I saw his car exit the parking lot right before I pulled in. He’s gone, my dear.”
I was shocked to hear that Sam had left me alone, “What?”
“Now, stop fighting and give me what I came for.” He struggled to pin me against the wall.
“I said stop!” I hissed and I kicked him in his balls and Mark fell to his knees in pain, and I kicked him in the stomach for good measure. “When a girl says stop, you stop!”
“You bitch!” Mark groaned in pain.
“I’m a what?” I asked as I was about to kick him again until I heard the door open. It was Sam.
“What in the hell is going on?” Sam asked, eyes wide open.
“She kicked me!” Mark groaned. “I’m going to have you arrested for assault. She’s crazy, Sam!”
“You’re a liar! Sam, he tried to attack me and force me to have sex with him.”
“You stupid bitch!” Mark shouted as he clamored up and lunged at me.
I was ready to use what I knew in Mixed Martial Arts to defend myself, but Sam beat me to it. He grabbed Mark in time and held him by the lapels on his jacket and punched him square in the jaw.
“Get up!” Sam grabbed Mark by the collar. I saw the rage in Sam’s eyes, “Get the fuck up and get out of here. You’re fired. I don’t want to see you here ever again.”
“You believe that bitch?” Blood sputtered out of Mark’s mouth. “After everything I’ve done for me?”
“I said get out before I press charges! Get out and don’t come back.” Sam dragged Mark by the collar and threw him outside into the parking lot pavement.
Mark scrambled to his car muttering profanities and quickly got into his car and sped out. Sam watched Mark leave through the doorway to make sure that he left and did not make an attempt to retaliate. His chest rose up and down intensely and his fists clenched. He was so furious you could see the rage in his eyes and stared out the door until he no longer saw Mark’s tail lights in the distance.
I had never seen him this furious before, the silence and the intensity at which he stood there in the doorway; it was almost scary. He slowly turned around then, his eyes softening.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. Are you?”
He ignored the question, “Did he touch you?”
“No, not really. I was scared Sam, where did you go?”
“I realized that I left the campaign agenda at my house so I drove there as quick as I could to go pick it up. It wasn’t going to take long, but if I didn’t leave, he wouldn’t have done what he did to you.”
“Sam, it’s okay. He didn’t do anything.”
“But he could have and would have.”
“But he didn’t.”
“It’s my fault. If he laid a hand on you…” Sam stopped himself and then punched his wall before and started pacing. He raked a hand through his hair.
“Thanks to you he didn’t, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.”
He stopped pacing to look at me. He stood there searching and staring, and I don’t know what made me see it, but I saw a battle going on in his eyes. He was clearly fighting something in his head, and I didn’t know what but before I had a chance to ask, he walked to me quickly and pulled me into his arms before I had an opportunity to realize what was happening.
He leaned in close, so close that our breath mingled together. He wrapped his arms around me tighter, as though he didn’t want to let me go. I look up to meet his eyes, and I saw a pained expression. He made a plea through his intense gaze, his thoughts asking me permission.
“Please…” I whispered. It was all he needed.
He kissed me feverishly and with a strong sense of urgency. A need mixed with an innate tenderness that I wanted for so long. He ran his fingers through my hair, clutching and kisses me harder. It wasn’t too rough but more warmth in the exploration of my mouth. Our tongues developing into a dance of their own slow rhythm.
Sensations I didn’t know existed surged through me; I moaned his name. His fingertips caressed let go of my hair and traced a line down my cheek and neck before going up again to hold my face.
He stopped the kiss, his breath ragged, “What are you doing to me?”.
His focus falls on my mouth, desire in his eyes. He presses his lips to me again and gently shoves me back against the wall. His knee parting my own and I could feel his erection against my hip. He presses his tongue in between my lips and devours me whole. He kisses me hard again, and I want more.
He’s pressing himself against me and starts to places light kisses down my neck hungrily. He groans with a frustrated need. He seemed to want more as well. His kiss was hard and full of heat and desire. He pulled me tighter and deepened the kiss. I melted into him and all of the pent up energy, emotion and frustration became the fuel for this hunger for more and I untucked his shirt and ran my hands underneath and over his chest, stomach, and back.
Sam murmured something unintelligible against my neck, I want him, and he wants me, finally. “We can’t do this here.” He managed to say.
“You’re right,” I respond. My hand slid down past his stomach and stopped at his belt buckle. Sam sucked in his breath and waited to see what I would do. I lowered my hand even further and grazed his erection. He groaned again.
He used his knee to part my legs farther apart, and his hands gripped my behind and lifted me up, pulling me into his erection. I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist, and he presses into me roughly eliciting a moan. Sam, anxious for release, begins to grind against me.
“I don’t live too far.” Sam suggested, “But I don’t think I can wait that long.”
“I can’t either,” I moaned again. “But we need to…”
“You’re right. More privacy.” He said as he released me so I could stand upright. “Come on, let’s go.”
He picked up the file he had brought in as well as the box with my belongings, and I grabbed my purse off the floor. He grabbed my hand, shut off the lights and hurried me outside. He proceeded to lock the office door and unlock his car door and shoved the box and file into the trunk.
We got into the car, and he started the engine and quickly backed up out of the parking spot and pulled out of the driveway. His heaving breathing was loud and created an intensity within the silence. It didn’t take long for us to pull up to his house, he lived within a few minutes of the office.
Once parked, he shut off the engine and immediately got out and walked around the car and opened the passenger door for me. He helped me out of the car and locked the card door and walked with me through his front patio to his front door.
“What about my purse?” I asked.
“I’ll get it later.” He huffed. He was a man of a few words when he wanted something.
As he unlocked his front door and walked inside, his indoor lights turned on. They ran on motion
sensors. Before I could tell him that he had a beautiful and exquisite home, he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom.
Owen, who was already in the house, followed us to the bedroom. “Owen, go!” Sam commanded. Owen immediately halts and makes a grunting noise and reluctantly walks away.
Sam carried over the threshold and kicked the door shut with his foot and gently dropped me on his king sized bed. I was wet with anticipation, and I couldn’t wait for what was about to happen. It was a long time coming for the both of us. Sam shrugged off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt as quickly as he could.
He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks, not giving me the opportunity to take pleasure in doing those things for him. He didn’t want to waste time. He was ready. Shirtless, he looked sexier than I imagined. He sat down on the edge of his bed right next to me, and I lifted my arms as he pulled my top and undershirt over my head.
He got on the bed and laid down next to me pulling off my shoes and socks and tossing them on the floor next to his clothes. He unhooked the front clasp of my bra and pulled that off too. His hands cupped my right breast and kneaded it gently. His lips hovered over mine, close enough but didn’t quite touch. His hand slid down from my breast, past my stomach and eventually reached my mound.
I was already wet but he started to rub me slowly at first and then picked up speed the more I moaned. He silenced me with his lips as he rubbed me fervently through my jeans. I squirmed under his touch, and before I couldn’t take it anymore, he cupped my breast again.
He moved back and forth from one breast to the other licking and sucking on the nipples until they got hard. As difficult as it was, he started to unbutton my jeans. He lowered the zipper enough to slide his hand inside of my jeans and under the cotton elastic briefly before sliding his hand out. Such a tease.
Sam pulls my zipper the rest of the way down, and I lifted my hips up to assist him in taking off the rest of my clothing. As he stood up to take off his own suit pants, I slid my nakedness underneath the warmth of his thick comforters. There was something so hypnotic about the way he removed his pants and boxer briefs.
He stared at me with desire and affection in his eyes, and it confirmed at that moment that I was where I needed to be. Sam got under the covers after he prepared himself and got on top of me, parting my legs.
“Ready?” His eyes sought confirmation.
“I’ve been ready,” I responded, and he thrust inside at once. I gasped and gripped the sheets as my body stretched to accommodate him. He paused allowing me to get used to the feeling of his weight of him on top of me and the feeling of him inside of me.
Sam didn’t wait long, it must have been tough for him to remain patient and take my experience into consideration, as turned on as he was. He couldn’t wait anymore and begin to move in and out, slowly and then as he grew confident he moved in and out at a steady speed, grunting each time he slid back in.
“My, God…” I wrapped my legs around his waist, increasing the sensations of his lovemaking.
“You like that?” Sam murmured.
“Are you trying to talk dirty?” I giggled.
“No.” He grunted under his breath as he thrust his hips against me harder and faster, he wanted a quick release. I mimicked his movements, matching them to meet his thrusts. He started to grunt at the same fast intervals as when he slid back in.
Sam must have been close to a climax because he started pumping slower but still moved his hips rougher and harder to fill me to the hilt. His groans started getting louder, and every time he thrust his hips his headboard slammed against the wall, but Sam didn’t care.
“Ugh…almost there.” He muttered.
“Me too.” I moaned. “Faster.”
Sam started to pick up speed with wild and rough abandon, the headboard created loud slamming noises against the wall, hopefully without the neighbors’ knowledge.
As if on cue, my body convulsed at the climax and shuddered with ecstasy and satisfaction. I could not take much more, but Sam kept going, he hadn’t reached the finish line yet. It didn’t take long, with one rough and deep thrust he climaxed and groaned my name.
His body collapsed on top of mine until he caught his breath. Sam eventually rolled over onto his back and pulled me to him. For a while, neither one of us said anything, for me it was the fear that he would realize what he had just done and freak out like he did the last time he kissed me. A part of me hoped that if I said nothing, that realization would never come for him.
His body smelled good as I inhaled to take more of him in; it was an earthy mix of cologne and his natural ‘Sam’ scent. Sam pulled more of the covers over the both of us and pulled me closer to him. He kissed my forehead and laid his cheek on my head. Sam sighed deeply, and I wondered what he was thinking. It didn’t take long for me to find out.
“Hey, you alright?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m perfectly content.”
“Me too.” He responded, and we just laid there until I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep with the thoughts of, if not saying a word after post-coital bliss was a bad sign.
I woke up the next morning, earlier than usual and I was laying on my side facing him. Sam, was still asleep, laying on his stomach and sprawled out. His face was turned away from me. For a moment I watched him sleep; I could go on doing this forever if he let me.
I traced an imaginary line down his back with my fingertips, and I could feel his calm breaths going in and out. I wondered what he dreamt about when he slept. Was it about me? Was it about anything? As much as Sam was as transparent as a person could be about his life and his father, but there were parts of him that I know he kept contained and I couldn’t imagine what they could be. Parts of his life that could make him vulnerable and susceptible to pain and maybe was the reason why he insisted on being alone or kept any relationship he had on the surface.
After this, was I still on the surface? Was this still his version of keeping me at a distance? I don’t know if sex still came easy for him, he admitted it did in a past life but did it still now?
He said that he wanted to be alone and he had no time for anyone in his life due to his busy schedule and the annoyance of being in the limelight but were they just excuses? I know when it came to me he was constantly battling thoughts in his head, and I couldn’t help notice that it didn’t take much for me to push him away and for him to make me want to run away.
As soon as he woke up, he and I would have to have a talk, and there was a strong possibility it could get ugly or not at all, but it needed to get done anyhow. He looked peaceful when he slept, I didn’t want to disturb him, so I laid there and waited.
Sam eventually woke up; his eyes fluttering open. He rolled over onto his back released a loud yawn as he stretched from his fingertips to his toes and then he looked at me and smiled. It was one of those smiles of content that I’ve never seen on him before. He looked well rested.
“Hey.” Sam sighed as he caressed my cheek and down my shoulders and arm with the back of his fingers. He just laid there staring. “What are you thinking?”
“Me? You’re asking me what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah.”
“A lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“Like what do we do now?” I explained.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what we do now. Where do we go? What is this?”
“You’re such a worrywart.” He chuckled. His easygoingness at the seriousness of my voice confused me.
“I’m serious.” I smiled.
“I know you are.” Sam turned onto his side so that his whole body could face me. “I’m not going to chuck you out of my house if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“No, I wasn’t…”
“Look, last night was great, and I don’t know what I’m feeling right now.”
“Here we go…” I said getting up to put my clothes back on, but he stopped me.
“That�
�s not what I meant. If you’ll not jump to conclusions and just listen to me.”
“Okay,” I said.
“As I said, last night was great but don’t think I regret it. You don’t know how long I’ve been debating back and forth.”
“Debating about what.”
“Jamie, I don’t know how capable I am of anything. All I’ve known in my life for the past decade was support the memory of my father, my obligations with the City and the country club and that’s it. That’s all I’ve known. With that comes a lot of conference calls, meetings, events, rubbing elbows and traveling. Not to mention the constant calls from the general public, being hit on, being approached by fans…”
“Wow.”
“It’s a lot to deal with, and it isn’t exactly fun. I love supporting my father’s memory, I don’t regret any of it and I’d do it forever if I’m able to but with that comes a lot of obligations and chaos and I’m barely holding on to my sanity.”
“So you’re saying adding me in would just take the chaos over the edge?” I ask.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is somehow your presence makes all the chaos easier to tolerate but bringing someone into that chaos and my need for quiet…”
“I get it, Sam.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I finally get it, you’re just hesitant because you’re afraid of making everything worse for everyone including yourself.”
“So you aren’t upset?”
“For once, no.”
“Jamie, last night was fantastic. I want you to believe that. I guess all I’m saying is I just don’t know what to do now. I need to think for a while.”
“I’ll give you the space you need, just promise me you’ll call me when you’re finished.”
After breakfast, Sam and I drove back to the office so that I could put my belongings into my car and go home. Sam helped load the box into the back seat of my car and gave me a long hug goodbye, asking once more if I could come back to the Foundation. I had to decline once more, like Sam needing time to think and getting space I needed to do the same. I was incapable of working with someone I cared about and had to do some ‘me’ work of my own.
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