Gargoylz Get Up to Mischief

by Jan Burchett

  Contents

  Cover

  About the Book

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Map

  Max and Ben

  1. Gnome, Sweet Gnome

  2. Kitten Caper

  3. Toby Stows Away

  4. Science and Snakes

  Gargoylz Fact File

  Also by Burchett and Vogler

  Copyright

  About the Book

  The Gargoylz are causing more mischief at Oldacre Primary School – and at Max’s house too! It’s madness and mayhem all the way as Toby gets mistaken for a garden gnome and Max discovers the wonders of soapy water, worms and even washing-up!

  Don’t miss these four funny stories featuring Max, Ben and the Gargoylz . . .

  For Elizabeth Vogler, who must remember that although Gargoylz are allowed to climb buildings, she is not!

  – Burchett & Vogler

  For my nephew smElliot, who’s a bit like Max

  – Leighton Noyes

  Gargoylz: grotesque stone creatures found on old buildings, spouting rainwater from the guttering. Sometimes seen causing mischief and mayhem before scampering away over rooftops.

  * * *

  Hello, I’m the Web Gargoyle. Look out for me – I’ll be hiding in one of the pictures in the book. When you spot me, be sure to make a note of the secret codeword I’m holding. The codeword unlocks a secret level of the amazing Gargoylz game on our fabulous website at www.gargolyz.co.uk

  * * *

  * * *

  School Report – Max Black

  Days absent: 0

  Days late: 0

  Max is a bright boy. If he spent as much time on his school work as he does on annoying Lucinda Tellingly he would get much better marks. I am pleased to see that he enjoys exercise – although I do not count running down corridors making racing car noises. Also I would be glad if he did not shout “Awesome” quite so loudly every time we have football practice.

  Class teacher – Miss Deirdre Bleet

  The only good thing I can say about Max Black is that he is always early for school. However, he is the last one into the classroom. He spends far too much time playing tricks with Ben Neal. Mrs Pumpkin is still off sick after discovering an earwig farm in her handbag. Max ignores all school rules. He has recently developed a curious interest in drainpipes and has been seen talking to the wall. This behaviour is outrageous and must stop.

  Head teacher – Hagatha Hogsbottom (Mrs)

  * * *

  * * *

  School Report – Ben Neal

  Days absent: 0

  Days late: 0

  Ben has many abilities which he does not always use. He works very hard at dreaming up tricks to play, which gives him very little time to concentrate on his learning. He enjoys football and skateboarding – indeed, he and his board can frequently be found upside down in a flowerbed.

  Class teacher – Miss Deirdre Bleet

  Ben Neal is a strange boy. He is often to be found grinning at gutters.

  He constantly breaks school rule number 742: boys must not break school rules.

  Ben thinks he can get away with anything by flashing his blue eyes and looking innocent. I am not fooled. Indeed I am still waiting for him and Max Black to write a note of apology to Mr Bucket the caretaker. Gluing his wellington boots to the staffroom ceiling was outrageous!

  Head teacher – Hagatha Hogsbottom (Mrs)

  * * *

  1. Gnome, Sweet Gnome

  IT WAS SATURDAY morning. Nine-year-old Max Black zoomed along in his imaginary spy car and screeched to a halt outside Oldacre Primary School. His best friend Ben was waiting for him.

  “I can’t believe we’re at school at the weekend!” said Max.

  “Neither can I.” Ben grinned at him. “But at least we’re not going in.”

  “You’re right,” said Max. “Ready for our new mission, Agent Neal?”

  “Of course,” said Ben. “Secret Plan:Take the Gargoylz to Your Nan’s. But where are Toby and Zack? They said they’d meet us here. We can’t go without them.”

  “Greetingz!” came a growly purr from the graveyard and a small creature flew up onto the churchyard wall.

  Max activated his spy radar to check him out: monkey face, pointy ears, stony skin. He knew what that meant. It was Toby, their gargoyle friend.

  Max and Ben had a big secret. The gargoylz that hung on the ancient church next to their school were not the stone statues that everyone thought they were. They were alive. And they’d made friends with Max and Ben. Like the boys, the gargoylz enjoyed having fun and playing tricks. It was a perfect partnership!

  Toby wagged his pointy tail at the boys. “Ready for bramble collecting?” he asked as he fluttered his leafy wings and flew over to perch on Max’s shoulder. All gargoylz had a special power and Toby’s was flying. Although lots of the gargoylz had wings, Toby was the only one the boys had met who could use them to actually fly.

  This weekend Toby and Zack were on bramble-collecting duty for all the other gargoylz. Prickly plants were their favourite food, and Max knew exactly where they could get plenty of those – his nan’s garden.

  “We brought our rucksacks so that you can hide inside them,” said Max. “You mustn’t be seen trotting along the high street.”

  “Quite right!” declared Toby. He flew into Ben’s bag and popped his head out of the top. “Well, what are we waiting for? I want to get my pawz on those thorny snacks.”

  “And I want to get my hands on Nan’s cupcakes,” said Max. “Best things in the world.”

  “We can’t go without Zack,” said Ben, looking around. “Where is he?” “Bramblz, thistlz, anything with pricklz!” came a cheeky voice beside him.

  There was no one to be seen.

  “Invisible again, Zack?” Max laughed.

  POP! A gargoyle with a fuzzy mane and a tuft on his head appeared on the wall. He zipped up and down and then sat there panting, his tongue hanging out. “No bag for me,” he declared, looking at Max’s open rucksack. “I’ll disappear instead. My special gargoyle power. Won’t be seen.”

  “Yes you will,” said Ben. “You’re always appearing when you don’t mean to.”

  “Good point,” chortled Zack. He hopped into Max’s rucksack. “Come on. I’m hungry.”

  “Hold on tight,” yelled Max, zooming off at top speed. “We’re using our spy car and it’s really fast.”

  Two minutes later they were knocking on a bright blue door. It opened. Max checked his spy radar: curly hair, big smile, apron covered in flour. It was Nan, codename: Supercook.

  “Hello, dears.” She beamed as the boys followed her towards the kitchen. “You’re just in time. I’ve been baking.”

  Ben’s rucksack gave a shake.

  “Spluttering gutterz!” came a growly voice from inside. “Smellz delicious.”

  “Glad you think so, Ben,” replied Nan as they followed her into the kitchen. “But what’s happened to your voice? It sounds as if you’ve got a cold. I’ll give you some of my special cure later.”

  “Thanks, Mrs Black,” said Ben politely, nudging his rucksack with his elbow to keep Toby quiet.

  Max made a face at his friend. Nan might be the best cupcake maker in the world but her homemade medicines were foul.

  Nan opened the back door. “Now why don’t you go and play in the garden like you usually do, and I’ll bring some freshly baked cupcakes out in a little while.”

  The boys grinned and raced across the lawn to the bottom of the garden where Nan’s blackberry bushes grew in a weedy tangle. They were hidden from the rest of the garden by an apple tree and some rhododendrons. Max and Ben opened their rucksacks and let
the gargoylz out.

  “What a feast!” gasped Toby, his eyes on stalks at the sight of the brambles and nettles.

  “Let me at ’em!” cried Zack, diving straight into the thorns.

  “Wait for me,” called Toby, flapping his wings and zooming in after him.

  “We’ll help you pick them,” said Max. “I’ve got top secret spy gloves.” He pulled them out of his rucksack. “They’re my dad’s best ones. I had to sneak them out. They’re brand new so they’re sure to be prickle-proof.”

  “And I’ve got special agent bramble slicers,” said Ben, waving a pair of scissors. “They’re my sister’s. She uses them for her scrapbook. She’d explode if she knew I had them. You hold the brambles and I’ll cut them.”

  Max and Ben soon had a big pile of bramble stalks by their feet. Suddenly it began to heave and wobble as if it was alive. Then Toby’s head popped out, scattering branches and leaves everywhere.

  “Tasty bramblz,” he said, with his mouth full. “You two are wonderful collectors.”

  Max laughed. “How many have you collected? Don’t forget you two are supposed to be picking them for all the other gargoylz as well. You’re not meant to eat them all.”

  Toby looked sheepish. “But they’re so delicious.”

  POP! A dragony tail appeared beside him followed by the rest of Zack. “Best place for pricklz ever,” he said, munching away.

  “Coo-ee, boys!”

  “Hide!” whispered Max. “It’s Nan. She mustn’t see you.”

  ZOOM! ZOOM! Zack and Toby jumped out of the bramble pile and dived headfirst into the bushes just as Nan appeared with a tray. She set it down on the grass.

  “I’ve brought you some juice and cupcakes. I wasn’t sure which toppings you’d like so there’s a selection.”

  “Thanks, Nan,” said Max, eyeing the huge pile of brightly coloured iced cakes in delight.

  There was a rustling in the bushes followed by a licking of stone lips, and a pair of stone ears suddenly popped up.

  Nan frowned. “I hope that’s not a cat in my blackberries,” she muttered.

  “A cat?” came Toby’s indignant growl from the bush.

  “Ben dear,” said Nan. “Your voice is getting worse. I’m going straight back in to make some of my special cold cure.”

  She suddenly noticed the pile of brambles. “What do you want those for?” she asked.

  “Er . . . they’re for the school rabbit,” said Max quickly.

  “Yes . . . he’s staying at my house for the weekend,” added Ben.

  Nan looked puzzled. “They’re a bit prickly for a rabbit, aren’t they?”

  “It’s . . . it’s . . . a very rare rabbit,” said Max. “Isn’t it, Ben?”

  “Yes. It’s a . . . er . . . Bramble-eating Stony Church Rabbit,” gabbled Ben. “It loves prickly things.”

  “Well, fancy that.” Nan turned to go back into the house. “Enjoy your cakes.”

  As soon as she’d gone the gargoylz scampered out.

  “Cat indeed!” exclaimed Toby. “Ferocious yowling creatures with too much fur—” He suddenly saw the cupcakes. “Are these like the cookiez I had at school?” he asked eagerly. “I love cookiez.”

  “They’re the cupcakes I told you about,” said Max, holding out the plate. “Try one.”

  Toby stretched out a paw and grabbed a cake, then stuffed it in his mouth. “Dangling drainpipes, they’re delicious!” he sighed happily.

  “Let me try! Let me try!” Zack cried, gobbling up a cake and grabbing two more – one in each paw. He darted off, sat down in the weeds and munched noisily.

  Three minutes later every cake had gone. Both gargoylz lay on the grass, bellies bulging.

  “Shame there aren’t any more,” said Toby.

  “You’ve had ten!” Max exclaimed.

  “Ben and I were lucky to get any once you two started!”

  “Coo-ee,” came Nan’s voice. “I’ve brought a bag for the brambles – and my special cold cure for you, Ben.”

  POP! Zack vanished. Toby struggled to his feet but he didn’t have time to hide. He was stranded on the grass in full view. He froze, a horrified expression on his face, as Nan appeared holding out a mug of bubbling green liquid. It smelled like old socks.

  She spotted Toby immediately. “What a lovely little garden gnome!” she said, putting the mug down on the grass and giving him a poke. “Did you make him at school, Max?”

  “No . . . er . . . yes,” said Max. How was he going to get Toby out of this?

  “Look at his diddy little hands and his little round tummy,” Nan went on. “He’d look lovely in my rockery.”

  “I can’t let you keep him, Nan,” said Max hurriedly. “He’s got to go back to the chur— I mean, school. He’s not finished.”

  “I can see that now,” said his grandmother kindly. “His face looks ever so ugly.”

  There was a growly snort of laughter in the air behind them from Zack.

  Nan looked anxiously at Ben. “You still don’t sound right, dear,” she said. “Drink up your medicine like a good boy.”

  “Er . . .” quavered Ben, bending down to pick up the revolting drink.

  Max could see his friend needed a plan – Operation Spill the Drink. But before he could do anything there was a faint slurping noise from the mug. The boys gazed down in astonishment as the bubbling green liquid quickly disappeared. Max hid a grin. Invisible Zack must have sneaked out of the bushes. Luckily Nan didn’t seem to have noticed.

  Ben swept up the empty mug and pretended to drink the mixture down in one gulp. “Thanks.” He grinned. “It was . . . tasty.”

  An almighty gargoyle burp filled the air. “Pardon me!” said Ben quickly. “My cure never fails,” chirped Nan. “See, your voice is back to normal already.” She bent down and patted Toby on the head. “And I’ve got the very thing for you, Mr Gnome. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

  She bustled off to the house. Max and Ben burst out laughing.

  POP! Zack appeared, wiping green goo off his chin. “Sorry, Ben. Drank it all. Couldn’t resist. Nearly as tasty as bramblz.” He raced over to Toby. “Mr Gnome!” he giggled, skipping around him. “Mr Gnome!”

  Toby looked furious. “Mr Gnome!” he spluttered, jumping to his feet. “I’m an ancient stone gargoyle who’s lived proudly on the church for more than eight hundred yearz and your nan thinks I’m a garden ornament!”

  “Ugly garden ornament!” chuckled Zack, rolling on his back and kicking his legs in the air.

  “Coo-ee!” Nan was suddenly back, waving something small and red.

  POP! Zack disappeared. Toby froze again.

  “All garden gnomes should have one of these,” she said.

  Max and Ben tried desperately not to laugh as Nan carefully fitted a pointy, red woolly hat over Toby’s monkey ears.

  “How sweet!” She beamed, tickling him under the chin. “Who’s a smart Mr Gnome then?”

  Max suddenly realized he could see a tail appearing on the grass in front of him . . . then a paw . . . then an ear . . . Zack was forgetting to stay invisible. Max stepped smartly in front of him but it was too late.

  “What’s that behind you, dear?” asked Nan, peering round him. Zack was completely visible now. “Oh, you didn’t tell me there was a little girly one as well!” she exclaimed. “Did you make her, Ben? She’s so sweet!” Nan patted Zack’s fuzzy stone mane. “You’ve even tried to give her some hair.” She reached into her apron pocket and pulled out a lacy handkerchief. “I haven’t got another hat,” she explained, “but this will do nicely.” She fixed the hankie round Zack’s head like a scarf and tied it under his chin. “Mr and Mrs Gnome. What a lovely couple!” “Thanks, Nan,” gulped Max. He had to get away before he burst out laughing. “We have to be off now. Back to Ben’s house. To give the rabbit its lunch.”

  “Yes, you get along and give that Stony Church thingamabob a real treat,” agreed Nan, helping the boys to put the brambles into the bag. While her back wa
s turned Max beckoned to the gargoylz. They hopped into the rucksacks.

  “I’ll see you soon,” Nan called, waving the boys off from the garden gate.

  Max and Ben reached the church wall and opened their bags. The gargoylz tumbled out and Max handed Toby the bag of brambles.

  “Let’s go home, Mr Gnome!” Zack laughed.

  “All right, Mrs Gnome,” answered Toby. “Little girly one!”

  “Hmph!” snorted Zack. “Make a pact. No more gnome talk.”

  “Agreed,” said Toby as they scampered off and the boys headed home. “But it was funny when she called you a girl. I haven’t laughed so much since I put nettlz in the vicar’s breakfast.”

  2. Kitten Caper

  SECRET AGENT MAX Black strolled along the road on his way to school. He heard the sound of wheels racing over the pavement and turned on his spy radar: blond hair, blue eyes, battered knee pads. It was Agent Ben Neal, riding a gleaming new skateboard.

  “Awesome!” Max exclaimed as Ben stopped and flipped the shiny red board into his hand. “That’s the Speed King!”

  “It’s new,” said Ben proudly. “I’ve brought it to show everyone this afternoon when all the Year Four classes get together to do Hobbies Talk.”

  They ran through the school gates.

  “Greetingz!”

  The monkey face of a cheeky gargoyle was hanging down from the school roof.

  Max beamed. “Hello there, Toby.” Then he spotted something on the roof behind him. Something small and fluffy. “There’s a kitten stuck up there!” he gasped, pointing.