Sorrow's Muse

by Colt, Shyla

  He chuckled. “We could argue over this, but I’d rather get back to what we were doing a minute ago.”

  She gave a giggle, wrapped her arms around his waist and nibbled his ear.

  He felt like a teenager with his first girlfriend, an experience he’d never had.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and their lips came together in a flurry of activity.

  Yeah, this was worth the wait. They backed out of the kitchen, into the living room, never parting and fell in a tangled heap onto the couch. His hand hovered above her thigh and he glanced up to meet her gaze. She gave a nod of approval. He skimmed his hand over her petal-soft skin. God, she feels like warm silk. Colette moved to return to the favor and he shook his head. He wasn’t ready for her to explore his body just yet, but he didn’t want to stop.

  She opened her mouth to protest.

  He crashed his lips down onto hers, effectively silencing her. He palmed her firm breasts, testing their weight in his hands as he began a gentle massage.

  The tips of her nipples stiffened and strained against the material, begging to be manipulated. “Julian, please!”

  “Please what, Colette?”

  “Touch my breasts.”

  Her raspy voice made his blood boil. He wasn’t a virgin or a complete stranger to the female form and sexual satisfaction. But this was the first time emotions had been involved—real emotions, not lust, admiration or a fleeting crush. He was determined to take his time, savor every moment, hoard them to keep for when Colette came to her senses. Pre-cum leaked from the tip of his mushroom-shaped head and he knew it was time to pull back before he went further than he intended to. “We should stop.”

  “Why?” Colette peered up at him through her long, sooty lashes. A wicked smile that promised passion covered her lips. It seemed to be at odds with the rest of her. Her dark hair looked tousled and her forehead, nose and cheeks were covered with light dustings of flour. She looked adorable.

  “Because we’re moving too fast.” And I don’t want to embarrass myself any more than I already have.

  She exhaled, blowing flyaway hairs away from her face and nodded. “You’re right.”

  Julian rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. The sound of their breathing was the only thing that filled the room as they basked in their first moment as something more than friends.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “How are things with lover boy going?” Dite asked, peering at her over the rim of her wineglass.

  “Would you think I was crazy if I said I didn’t know?” Colette asked.

  “Why? It was a huge deal getting him to admit his feelings. What happened?”

  “How do you date a man who doesn’t like to leave the house? That night was glorious. The feel of his body pressed against mine, the taste of his lips,” she paused, pressing her fingertips against her mouth. “I thought we’d move forward after that, but I was wrong. The man hasn’t touched me since, other than chaste kisses on the cheek and hand holding. I’m at a loss here.”

  “Oh, honey, you should’ve asked me long before now. There are plenty of things you can do at home to get his motor running, not that it ever stopped. He’s just trying to play it cool and be considerate. You know how he is. We called it ‘sensitive,’ but I think this generation calls it ‘emo.’”

  “How am I supposed to tell the difference between respecting me and not being into me?”

  Dite turned to face her on the couch. “You have to continue to take the lead. Right now, he’s taking his cues from you. I know this is hard with both of you being relationship novices. But it’s kind of adorable to watch in an awkward first-love sort of way. You’re like an eighties movie come to life.”

  Colette blinked her eyes while still looking lost.

  Dite took her hand. “The two of you really are perfect for each other. You just need to get on the same page and open up the lines of communication. Most people think love is about attraction, passion and sex.” She rolled her eyes. “Those things are a dime a dozen, easily corrupted and twisted, often misused and manipulated for gain or control. True love is the antithesis of all those things. It’s a unique connection with one other being willing to accept you for who you are despite all your faults, baggage and neurotic tendencies. It’s beautiful, messy, glorious and so very rare. I’ve been around a long time and every time I witness two soul mates meeting is a miracle.”

  Colette had never seen Dite so serious.

  “I won’t let you fail down here, Colette. The two of you need each other.”

  “Dite, do you know something I don’t?” she asked. The fierce delivery had set Colette on edge.

  “I just want you to have the chance I never did.” Dite’s eyes grew glossy and her voice broke.

  “Oh, my God!” Colette covered her mouth with her hands. She’d never heard Dite speak so candidly about her own experiences in love. She’d always assumed it was because she’d never really been in love with one person, that it was her nature to be polyamorous. Now, it seemed she’d been very wrong. “What happened?”

  “I was young, naive and afraid to act on my emotions. He was a general. The rest of the details aren’t important. Suffice to say, I never opened my mouth and I’ve regretted it every day since.”

  Tears welled in Dite’s eyes and Colette pulled her in for a hug. “I don’t want you to have to live with this kind of regret. You and Julian deserve to be happy. He’s been through so much and you’ve always been by his side. Whether he realized it or not.” Dite pulled away, wiped her tears and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to unload on you.”

  “I think it was time you told someone.”

  “You’re right. I do feel better for it. But this is about you.” Dite cleared her throat and pulled her hair back from her face as she regained her composure. “Now, let’s go over a few plans, so I can pull myself back together and you can win your man.”

  Colette wanted to say more, but now wasn’t the time. Dite went back to business with a strained smile and determination in her eyes. What kind of man would be her equal? Her mini-meltdown brought up more questions than it answered.

  “Are you listening, Colette?”

  “Yes, we’re going over things we can do at home.”

  “Good girl.”

  Fifteen minutes later, they’d outlined Operation Seduce Julian. They’d keep things low-key with the basics, like dinner and a movie at home, cooking a new recipe and her personal favorite, chocolate fondue dessert night. Her body hummed at the thought of getting her boyfriend alone in the dark with warm chocolate and succulent fruit. From the moment their lips met, she’d craved more. Out of respect, she’d held her appetite in check.

  After talking to Dite, though, all that would be history. Devilish delight made her giggle. She felt like a kid who’d received the okay to go buck wild in a candy store. She’d never been in love, but she was no stranger to sex. As a Muse, she enjoyed the different passions life had to offer. The thought of experiencing making love excited her more than any orgasm ever had.

  “I don’t have to ask where your mind’s gone,” Dite said.

  “Every time I talk to you, I’m enlightened. I’m looking forward to this new stage.”

  “That’s what I want to hear. How about we do some shopping? We have a fondue pot to buy and I must say, I think a trip to Fredrick’s is in order,” Dite suggested.

  “You’re wasting no time with this new direction.”

  “I want to see my little Muse happy and you need an itsy nudge.” She placed her index finger and her thumb about an inch apart.

  Colette laughed. She was right.

  “When will you see him next?”

  “Tonight, actually. He’s coming over to hang out in about two hours.”

  “Let’s go. We’ll need to work fast.”

  * * * *

  Energy pulsed through her veins as she prepared for Julian’s arrival. It was amazing what a pep talk and some de
ep red lingerie could do for your confidence level. She arranged the rectangular plastic popcorn holders, with old-fashioned red pin striping and scalloped edges, on the coffee table, beside two boxes of Sour Patch Kids and Zombie land and Sweet Home Alabama.

  The doorbell rang and she grinned. Game on. Colette opened the door and pulled Julian into a hug.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hi.” She pulled away and walked over to the couch. “I have everything set up. We just need to pop the popcorn and grab drinks from the fridge.”

  “This looks great. You should’ve told me to bring something.”

  “Nah, you can be in charge next time.”

  “Deal.”

  The conversation continued to flow as they took turns popping their bags in the microwave and salting and seasoning the puffy yellow kernels they placed in a large bowl. Grabbing two colas, they headed out to the living room. They were halfway through Sweet Home Alabama when she slipped his arm around her shoulder. She turned her head to inhale the delicious scent that wafted off him. The warmth of his body heated her flesh and woke her desire. Colette leaned in and nipped at his ear. Her nipples hardened against the rough lace of her bra. He moaned, a deep, guttural sound that went straight to her core. The pressure built and she sucked the fleshy bottom of his ear into her mouth.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Making out—less talking, more kissing.” She blazed a trail of kisses down his neck, spanning his chest with her hand as she admired his sleek build.

  He turned his head and captured her lips. Their tongues clashed.

  A pleased purr rumbled in her chest. Colette rose onto her knees and climbed into his lap, placing one leg on either side of his body. His cock pushed up against her in greeting, tempting her eager fingers. Her white skirt with a pastel flower scene flowed around them. She placed her hands on his shoulders and rocked forward, then backward, in a slow motion that pressed him against her engorged clit at just the right angle. His cock twitched, elongated and swelled. God, he’s thick! She needed more contact. “Touch me, Jay.” The nickname rolled off her tongue.

  His breath caressed her neck as he leaned in to place tiny kisses on her pulse point and massage her lush mounds. “Like this?”

  “Yes!” The feel of his hands moving over her was exquisite. He explored her with slow, thorough sweeps. His long, artistic fingers pinched her nipples, rolling them as he continued to grind up into her.

  “You’re so wet, Col. I can feel you through my pants. You like what I’m doing to you, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” she whimpered.

  He gripped her hips and swiveled in a circle. “How about this?”

  Moisture flooded her panties, warm and sticky. Her breath came in pants as she edged closer and closer to the edge. So much for being the seducer. He might be slow to start, but when he did, he brought his A game. Her body trembled as he pushed her closer to her peak. “I’m so close, Julian.”

  “Let go, baby. Let me give you this,” he whispered against her lips. He lined his length up with her cleft, surged forward once, twice and she exploded.

  Her eyes clenched shut. She cried out and clutched her skirt as waves of pleasure washed over her. Spent, she slumped against his shoulder as she came down from her high. All this from no skin-to-skin contact!

  Instead of sating her lust, it’d ramped it up higher. “I was supposed to be seducing you,” she whispered, her face on his shoulder.

  “You succeeded. Watching you come apart in my arms, knowing I’m the cause, is satisfying to me.” He placed a sweet kiss on her forehead.

  In that sweet kiss, she fell just a bit more in love with him. She wanted to move forward in their relationship, bring him pleasure the same way he’d given to her so selflessly. Colette ran her fingers over the soft material of his shirt and peered up into his eyes. “I want to make you feel good too.”

  “You don’t have to do that—”

  “Shh, I want to.” She scooted off his legs and knelt in front of him on the couch. His eyes were wide and his body shook as she unbuttoned the top of his pants and pulled the zipper down millimeter by millimeter, giving him plenty of time to call a halt to her progress. “I’ve dreamed about touching you, tasting you, for so long now it’s become an obsession.” She peered up to make eye contact.

  His muscles were tense. His eyes were filled with worry and an expectation of disappointment that made her almost sick to her stomach. He is beautiful, damn it! She wanted him to realize it. “The man who didn’t know I was alive, the hints I dropped none too covertly. It’s always been you, Julian.”

  “Me—but why?”

  She gave him a gentle smile. “Because you ask questions like that, which make you even sexier than you already are.” She freed him from his cloth prison and he sprang forth, quivering with anticipation. He was thick, long and growing.

  His skin looked discolored and uneven here like the rest of his body, but she made a show of being nonchalant. She bent down to lick the damp tip and he twitched, offering up more liquid goodness. He tasted salty with a hint of pineapple that made her core throb. He’d been thinking about this just as much as she had. “You taste better than ambrosia.”

  Colette teased him with delicate flicks of her tongue as she learned his flavor and his hot spots. The prominent vein that ran down the underside of his shaft made him jerk and hiss. She returned to it often, following it like a road map as she gripped his base and marveled at the ten inches she held in her hand. She sucked him deep into her mouth and brought her hand up to meet her lips.

  “Oh, God, Colette!”

  She kept her throat loose, desperate to take all of him, as she bobbed her head up and down, up and down, finding a rhythm that made him bury his hands in her hair. He thrust into her mouth, his hips swiveled and her heart sung. This was the first time he’d ever taken the reins and it felt glorious.

  Her core began to drip as she picked up the pace. His eyes rolled back in his head, a hoarse, strangled sound filled the air and he shot off in her mouth. Thick, salty nectar sprayed the back of her throat and she swallowed every bit of him. Colette cleaned him with her tongue, tucked him back in his pants and rested her head on his knee.

  He stroked her hair.

  “Thank you,” she whispered, knowing how much it had cost him to open himself up.

  “Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” Julian peered down at her and winked.

  An understanding passed between them.

  There was plenty she wanted to say, but none of it would be worth risking losing the ground they’d gained. Dite’s “Less is more” echoed in her head.

  He began a light massage on her scalp that relaxed her and the world around them faded to nothing.

  * * * *

  Julian smiled down at the sleeping form of his girlfriend. Girlfriend. It had a nice ring to it. He’d had dates, casual hookups, embarrassing booty calls and groupie encounters, never anything substantial. Though, it wasn’t for lack of wanting. The fact this woman, who possessed beauty inside and out, wanted him…baffled him. Half the time, he felt as though he was waiting for her to come to her senses.

  Yet, here they were almost two months later. He didn’t believe she’d ever intentionally hurt him. It wasn’t in her. But he did worry that the novelty would wear off and she’d be tired of staying indoors and skulking around places at night like some sort of vampire. He’d been doing a lot of thinking about leaving his comfort zone. She made him feel as though anything was possible. His seclusion and fear were starting to limit him in too many ways. There’s no way I survived that fire just to live my life in a bubble.

  It was time he did more than sit in the world he’d tailor-made to suit his needs. Time to live, even if it meant putting his heart on the line. Bolstered by his decision, he decided to call Paul tomorrow to see if Rocco still wanted him to work on his second album.

  Unintentionally, he’d been putting together songs that would fit his second time around to
a T. He rested his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes, content to share the space with the one person besides Paul, willing to accept him as is. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve her, but he was going to hold on as long as he could.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Julian felt nervous. Today, he and Colette were headed over to Paul’s for dinner. It would be just the four of them grilling out on the back patio, but it was their first time being out as a couple with others. His flesh heated and he cracked his window.

  “You okay? You’ve been really quiet the whole ride.”

  “Just thinking. I know Paul hasn’t heard back about working with Rocco again and I’m kind of nervous.”

  “You don’t want the answer to be yes?”

  “No, I do. It’s just—he comes with a lot of speculation and paparazzi.”

  “Ahh.” She paused. “For what it’s worth, I know you’ll do an amazing job. I think it’s the next logical step in your career and I think you’d be amazed by how supportive people are as a whole. Look at J. R. Martinez from Dancing with the Stars. He’s broken a lot of the stereotypes and ignorant behavior that occurs with burn victims.”

  “But he’s a hero, someone hurt in the line of duty while defending our country. It’s different.”

  “Hmm, I don’t know that it would be, Julian.”

  He sighed. She made it sound so easy. The thought of people prying into his past, making him relive the fire and the treks from foster home to hospital, made his stomach ache. It’d been a long time since he’d been bombarded by questions that made him remember. He liked it that way. “We’ll see.”

  She nodded, turning to look out the window.

  Thank God, she knows when to leave things alone.

  They listened to music the rest of the drive. After he pulled up into the driveway, he exited the car and opened her door. She hooked her arm through his and they headed up the drive.