Sorrow's Muse

by Colt, Shyla

  He walked into the shop and purchased it. The piece had been a welcome weight in his pocket at first. But as time passed, it began to burn like coal in a furnace. He wanted her to know how much she meant and saying, “I love you” and doing nice things was no longer enough.

  The baked pasta was in the oven, the Greek salad was in the crisper and he’d purchased baklava from the local bakery. He had a few hours to set the scene and pray to whoever was listening that she said yes.

  Julian took his time prepping the house. A trail of red rose petals led up the stairs to his bedroom. Champagne chilled in the fridge. He arranged white candles in circular glass votives over the entire home and set the kitchen table with the cream-colored linen tablecloth and silverware he’d bought just for this occasion. The place mats were made of a lace the store worker assured him would give the table a romantic touch. In the center of the table was a bouquet of red roses, mixed with pops of baby’s breath and eucalyptus.

  The stage was set. Now he needed to get himself ready.

  Julian took a quick shower, dried off and picked out a pair of black slacks, a crisp white button-down, a black skinny tie and a black vest. He topped the outfit off with a pair of gray Converse, slicked his hair back off his face and hurried downstairs to light the candles.

  By the time the doorbell rang, he’d transformed the house. It’s amazing what you could do with some Martha Stewart directions and advice from women in the shops. He hit the remote on his sound system and their favorite slow jams filled the air. He set the remote on the cocktail table and went to open the door. His jaw dropped at the vision Col was in the doorway.

  She wore a pair of leather shorts that fell to her upper thigh, a black tank top under a fitted white blazer and a pair of black heels. She’d kept her hair loose and it flowed around her, framing her face.

  “You look amazing,” he said.

  “You too.” She stepped inside and gasped as he closed the door behind her and twisted the top lock. “I can’t believe you did all this,” she whispered.

  “Do you like it?”

  “I love it. It’s beautiful.” She did a slow spin.

  “Good.” He ran a hand down her back. “Would you like to head into the kitchen? The table is set if you’re ready to eat.”

  “Yes, I’m starving.”

  He twined their fingers and led her over to the table, pulled out the chair and pushed her in.

  “I can’t believe you went through so much trouble.”

  “It wasn’t any trouble. Champagne?”

  “Please.”

  He took the bottle out of the bucket on the counter, popped the top and poured two glasses he brought to the table. As she sipped on the sparkling liquid, he took the Greek salad out, served it onto their plates and took a seat.

  “How was your last session with Rocco?” she asked.

  “Kind of bittersweet. The album is complete and I can’t wait to get it ready to go out and hear responses. But I’m sad to see Rocco go. We worked well together and it’s going to be a while before he records again.”

  “You really love what you do, don’t you?”

  “I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t express myself through song. It’s what got me through the lowest points in my life. How’s the collection for your exhibit coming?”

  “Great, a few more pieces and I’ll be ready to start looking for a place to show it.”

  The conversation flowed between them as they caught up on the past week and bantered back and forth. His nerves grew thinner with every minute that passed. By the time they finished the baklava, he was about ready to jump out of his skin.

  He needed a chance to compose himself.

  “Let me clear the table.” He stood, grabbed their plates and took his time rinsing them off in the sink before he placed them in the dishwasher. His limbs felt stiff and unresponsive as he walked back to the table and kneeled beside her chair.

  “Julian?”

  “Col, you’ve changed my life. You dragged me kicking and screaming back into life and renewed my faith in humanity. I was on the brink of giving up on happiness being a possibility. I felt like an outcast, like all I had to offer was music. Then you showed up and saw something in me.” He took a shaky breath.

  Tears streamed down her face and she wavered in his vision as he held back the excess moisture pooling in his eyes. He pulled the velvet case from his pocket, pried the lid open with clumsy fingers and held it out.

  “And I started to see it too. I love you, Col and I’ll spend the rest of my life making you happy and trying to be the man you deserve. Will you marry me?”

  “Julian.” Her voice shook. She wiped away tears and shook her head from side to side. “There are things you need to know about me. Things I must say before I can answer. You may find you’ll change your mind about wanting to marry me.” She glanced at the ground and a sense of dread made his blood run cold.

  “What are you talking about, Col?”

  “Please get up.”

  An ache formed in his chest. Is this when he got the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech? Numb, he closed the case and lugged himself off the floor and into the chair across from her.

  * * * *

  Collette beat back the sobs as she cleared her throat. She hadn’t expected him to do this! She never would’ve let him ask her under false pretenses.

  What a mess I’ve made of things. She never should have put it off for so long. She moved her seat forward and clasped his hands in her own, grateful when he didn’t pull away.

  “I lied. This year was not the first time we’ve met, Julian.”

  “What? When? I would remember something like that.”

  “No, you were small, three.”

  “When I was burned? But how could you remember? What’s going on?” His muscles tensed.

  “Please, you’ve trusted me so far. I’m asking for fifteen more minutes.”

  He clenched his jaw and gave her a curt nod.

  “You were in the hospital, badly burned and running low on hope. I told you then if you would just fight for me, I would always be with you.”

  “You! I knew your voice was beautiful and I thought ... familiar. Wait! What am I saying? This isn’t possible.” He shook his head. “I never told anyone that. How could you know that?”

  “Because I’m not from here, Julian and I don’t just mean America.”

  “Where? Why are you doing this, Colette? If you don’t want to marry me, just say no.” His eyes were wide and frightened.

  She could feel the panic pouring off him in waves. “I’m a Muse, Julian. More importantly, I’m your Muse.”

  “No.” He shook her hands free and jumped up from his chair. “I don’t know why you’re doing this or how you found out about that voice, but it stops now. I want you to get out of my house!”

  Tears poured down her face. “It’s true! I swear it. I can prove it!” Her voice shook like a flag in the wind and she stood and grabbed his arm. “You wrote your first lyric when you were five. It was an ode to green Jell-O. That was when your love for rhyme started to develop. It was your way to escape from the other children in the crowded orphanage. I was there with you, just like I promised.”

  He stared at her while she spoke.

  “I breathed life to your work, whispered the missing lines when you were stalled and increased your God-given talent. Your parents were extraordinarily talented musicians and humanitarians. Both traits were passed along to you. You are the very best of them both.”

  He’d stopped protesting, but continued to shake his head back and forth. “I don’t know how you managed to concoct this story—”

  Colette snapped her fingers. The stereo switched to a different, song and the volume went up. “I’m composing this now, in my head and playing it.” It was a sorrowful instrumental that expressed the anguish of the moment.

  “H—how?”

  “You know how, Julian. When you were ten, your music teacher taught yo
u how to play the guitar. He took an interest in you, even giving you free lessons after class. It was one of the few times you really saw the good in people.”

  “Stop, stop. I don’t need to hear any more!”

  She snapped her fingers and the music stopped.

  “Let’s say this is all true.” He gestured wildly with his hands. “It still doesn’t answer why you’re here. Why would a Muse come down from wherever it is you’re from to be with me?”

  “Because I fell in love with you.”

  His jaw dropped and he shook his head. “Why?”

  “Because you’re amazing, Julian! You’re intelligent, kind and you have a wicked sense of humor. Every time you triumphed or wrote a new song or poem that moved me, I fell a little more in love with you.”

  “Why did you wait until now?”

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me and I wanted to give us a fighting chance before I showed you who I really was.”

  “Why tell me at all?” He looked absolutely miserable.

  The way he looked ripped her heart to shreds. “Because it’s part of the rules. We can’t just come down here and mess with humans’ emotions. It’s not how it works. I had to make a deal with Aphrodite. One year down here.”

  “And then?”

  “Then you have to choose me as your Muse or your love.”

  His eyes bulged and his chest moved in and out as he paced the length of the kitchen. “So, it comes down to the basic question, money or love.” His words were soft. “How much of what I do is me and how much is you?”

  “It’s all you. Think of me as the cure to writer’s block. I keep things flowing, maybe sprinkle a little extra on top, but I have nothing to do with the creation.”

  “How can I trust you?”

  “Because I’ve never lied and I never will. I withheld my identity because you weren’t ready and neither was I.”

  “I need—I need some time.”

  “I understand.” She stood and walked for the door.

  “Col.”

  She paused and turned to look over her shoulder.

  “How long do I have to decide?”

  “One week.”

  He nodded and she continued her walk of shame. Each step felt heavier than the one before. This was far worse than any disastrous scenario she’d imagined in her mind. Julian loved her more than she’d ever imagined. He wanted to marry her! How did her truth change things? Had she been human, she’d ask if the Fates could be so cruel to almost give her everything she wanted. But she knew firsthand, yes, the girls were that heartless.

  She trudged up the stairs and collapsed at her vanity.

  The minute she called Dite, the woman’s smiling face appeared. “Hello. What happened?”

  “He proposed,” Colette whispered.

  “Wait, why isn’t that good?”

  “Before I told him the truth.”

  “Oh, goddess!”

  She nodded her head as she sniffed back tears. “I’m tired, Dite. I’ve spent the better part of the year giving chase to make Julian fall in love with me, only to watch his heart shatter into a million pieces right before my eyes. I don’t have any more fight left.”

  “After everything you’ve done, you’re just going to throw in the towel?”

  “No, I’m going to give him time to adjust to what I am and wait for him to make the next move.”

  “Now, isn’t the time to play hard to get.”

  “I’m not playing! I’ve done enough pursuing. If he doesn’t love me enough to come after me, then maybe what we have isn’t worth giving up his thriving career and Mount Helicon.”

  “You can’t mean that, Colette. You love Julian. I know you do.”

  “Exactly. Part of loving someone, really loving him, is wanting what’s best for him, even if it doesn’t include me.”

  “You have to snap out of this, Colette. He’ll come around.”

  “And if he doesn’t?”

  Dite remained silent.

  Slowly, Colette nodded. “That’s what I’m preparing myself for. Because regardless, I have to keep it together, or I will end up like Aella. One mad Muse is enough.”

  Exhaustion seeped into Colette’s bones, making them feel like lead. Her lids lowered to half-mast and she longed for the oblivion sleep would provide. “I just want to sleep, Dite. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

  “You know I’m here if you need me.”

  “I know.”

  She moved away from the mirror, grateful for the silence that fell as the reflective surface returned to its normal state. The vision of Julian’s horrified face when she’d put his proposal on hold, haunted her. Dead tired, Colette moved from the vanity and stumbled into bed fully clothed. She closed her eyes tight and thought of Mount Helicon with everything she had, imagining she was flying on the Pegasus, Dorieus, until sleep swallowed her down into its depths.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Colette glanced over at the clock one more time, eleven forty-five. What was left of her heart sank down into the soles of her shoes. He’s not coming. She hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Julian since she’d delivered her bombshell after dinner a week prior. It’d taken everything she had to sit tight, when all she wanted to do was march over and beg him for forgiveness and a second chance.

  Her stomach bubbled and she moved away from the window that faced his condo. It wouldn’t make anything better. Dite and Calliope offered to wait with her, but the thought of them witnessing her fall flat on her face was too much. If nothing else, she’d had a semi-vacation, gotten away from the homestead and received a better understanding of humans.

  Bitterness welled in her chest and a sour taste in her mouth puckered her lips. The positive thinking stick wasn’t working. She paced her bedroom wondering what would happen to everything she’d accumulated once she was gone. Would someone else move in and catch his eye? Would his subconscious remember all the confidence he’d gained? The last thought made her smile. At least some part of their relationship could live.

  It was time to stop torturing herself. He wasn’t coming and waiting here until the clock chimed midnight, as though she were some modern-day Cinderella, wasn’t going to help anything. She walked over to the vanity and Dite appeared. Sadness was etched on her face and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I’m ready.”

  “But it’s not midnight.”

  “I doubt fifteen minutes is going to change his mind. The man spent the entire week avoiding me.” She balled her fists as she battled anger and embarrassment. Heat raced through her body and she shook her head. “No, I’m done waiting, Dite. Please, just let me come home.”

  Dite sighed and nodded. “If that’s what you wish.”

  “It is.”

  “Close your eyes and think of Mount Helicon.”

  Colette closed her eyes, pictured the lush green rolling hills, dotted with colorful wildflowers that filled the air with their fragrant scents and the dark blue river that ran through it. She could feel the downy-soft hide of Dorieus as he nuzzled her cheek, vying for her attention.

  A cool breeze ran over her body and she opened her eyes. She was back where she’d started, in front of her home on Mount Helicon. Tears welled up in her eyes and ran down her face. The scenery wavered and she sank onto the lawn, placing her head on her knees as she sobbed.

  A pair of comforting arms wrapped around her shoulders and the smell of honeysuckle tickled her nose. She peered down to see a slender pair of alabaster-colored arms. “It hurts, Calli. It hurts so bad.”

  “I know, my love,” Calli whispered. She stroked the hair from her brow and rested her head against her shoulder. “If I could take your pain away, I would, little sister.”

  The words gave some comfort, but did nothing to fill the void left behind by the absence of her love’s presence.

  * * * *

  Colette is a Muse. The thought still seemed like a foreign concept. He’d known the beautiful woman was special, but he’d never figured
she was literally otherworldly. Julian tossed onto his side and reached over to turn on the lamp. He pushed up into a sitting position. He’d been going back and forth with his decision for days. Normally in this situation, he’d talk to Paul, but this wasn’t something he could share. Col’s secret wasn’t his to reveal. A part of him felt happy, excited that the voice he’d heard had been real and she’d kept her promise. But the other part felt betrayed.

  Regardless of the reason why, she’d lied to him for almost a year. He ran his hand through his hair. He hadn’t been able to think about anything else since they’d parted.

  It wasn’t about the money. It was the thought of completely screwing himself that he was hung up on. What if he lost his ability to write and things between the two of them didn’t work out? He had plenty of questions and no answers. One thing he did know, he’d been miserable without her. She’s your soul mate. He glanced at the clock, almost twelve.

  “Shit.”

  He shoved the sheet away from his body and slipped out of bed. She’d swept in like a breath of fresh air, charmed him, built him up and made his life really worth living. He wasn’t going to let her get away that easy. Every time he tried to make the decision to walk away and cut his losses, he remembered the sense of comfort and renewed strength that washed over him every time he was ready to throw in the towel.

  This was his Col.

  He ran from the room barefoot, clad in a white T-shirt and a pair of flannel pants. His heart pounded as he took the stairs two at a time, dashed across the living room once he reached the bottom floor and burst through the door like a madman. His feet slapped against the concrete as he ran the distance to her home.

  Julian pounded on the door, shifting his weight from one foot to the other when he heard no movement inside. Where is she? He rang the doorbell. A shuffle behind him made him spin around. His jaw dropped.

  A blue-eyed blonde model stood behind him with fire and brimstone in her eyes and a scowl on her face. “You sure took your sweet time.”