Intrusion of Jimmy

by Intrusion Of Jimmy

  Thomas, grandly, "over my body."

  "Steeple-chasing in the home," murmured Jimmy. "No more dull

  evenings. But listen. Do listen! I won't keep you a minute, and, if

  you want to--push that bell after I'm through, you may push it six

  inches into the wall if you like."

  "Well," said Sir Thomas, shortly.

  "Would you like me to lead gently up to what I want to say,

  gradually preparing you for the reception of the news, or shall

  I--?"

  The knight took out his watch.

  "I shall give you one minute," he said.

  "Heavens, I must hustle! How many seconds have I got now?"

  "If you have anything to say, say it."

  "Very well, then," said Jimmy. "It's only this: That necklace is a

  fraud. The diamonds aren't diamonds at all. They're paste!"

  CHAPTER XXVII

  A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

  If Jimmy had entertained any doubts concerning the effectiveness of

  this disclosure, they would have vanished at the sight of the

  other's face. Just as the rich hues of a sunset pale slowly into an

  almost imperceptible green, so did the purple of Sir Thomas's cheeks

  become, in stages, first a dull red, then pink, and finally take on

  a uniform pallor. His mouth hung open. His attitude of righteous

  defiance had crumpled. Unsuspected creases appeared in his clothes.

  He had the appearance of one who has been caught in the machinery.

  Jimmy was a little puzzled. He had expected to check the enemy, to

  bring him to reason, but not to demolish him in this way. There was

  something in this which he did not understand. When Spike had handed

  him the stones, and his trained eye, after a moment's searching

  examination, had made him suspicious, and when, finally, a simple

  test had proved his suspicions correct, he was comfortably aware

  that, though found with the necklace on his person, he had

  knowledge, which, communicated to Sir Thomas, would serve him well.

  He knew that Lady Julia was not the sort of lady who would bear

  calmly the announcement that her treasured rope of diamonds was a

  fraud. He knew enough of her to know that she would demand another

  necklace, and see that she got it; and that Sir Thomas was not one

  of those generous and expansive natures which think nothing of an

  expenditure of twenty thousand pounds.

  This was the line of thought that had kept him cheerful during what

  might otherwise have been a trying interview. He was aware from the

  first that Sir Thomas would not believe in the purity of his

  motives; but he was convinced that the knight would be satisfied to

  secure his silence on the subject of the paste necklace at any

  price. He had looked forward to baffled rage, furious denunciation,

  and a dozen other expressions of emotion, but certainly not to

  collapse of this kind.

  The other had begun to make strange, gurgling noises.

  "Mind you," said Jimmy, "it's a very good imitation. I'll say that

  for it. I didn't suspect it till I had the thing in my hands.

  Looking at it--even quite close--I was taken in for a moment."

  Sir Thomas swallowed nervously.

  "How did you know?" he muttered.

  Again, Jimmy was surprised. He had expected indignant denials and

  demands for proof, excited reiteration of the statement that the

  stones had cost twenty thousand pounds.

  "How did I know?" he repeated. "If you mean what first made me

  suspect, I couldn't tell you. It might have been one of a score of

  things. A jeweler can't say exactly how he gets on the track of fake

  stones. He can feel them. He can almost smell them. I worked with a

  jeweler once. That's how I got my knowledge of jewels. But, if you

  mean, can I prove what I say about this necklace, that's easy.

  There's no deception. It's simple. See here. These stones are

  supposed to be diamonds. Well, the diamond is the hardest stone in

  existence. Nothing will scratch it. Now, I've got a little ruby, out

  of a college pin, which I know is genuine. By rights, then, that

  ruby ought not to have scratched these stones. You follow that? But

  it did. It scratched two of them, the only two I tried. If you like,

  I can continue the experiment. But there's no need. I can tell you

  right now what these stones are, I said they were paste, but that

  wasn't quite accurate. They're a stuff called white jargoon. It's a

  stuff that's very easily faked. You work it with the flame of a

  blow-pipe. You don't want a full description, I suppose? Anyway,

  what happens is that the blow-pipe sets it up like a tonic. Gives it

  increased specific gravity and a healthy complexion and all sorts of

  great things of that kind. Two minutes in the flame of a blow-pipe

  is like a week at the seashore to a bit of white jargoon. Are you

  satisfied? If it comes to that, I guess you can hardly be expected

  to be. Convinced is a better word. Are you convinced, or do you

  hanker after tests like polarized light and refracting liquids?"

  Sir Thomas had staggered to a chair.

  "So, that was how you knew!" he said.

  "That was--" began Jimmy, when a sudden suspicion flashed across his

  mind. He scrutinized Sir Thomas' pallid face keenly.

  "Did you know?" he asked.

  He wondered that the possibility had not occurred to him earlier.

  This would account for much that had puzzled him in the other's

  reception of the news. He had supposed, vaguely, without troubling

  to go far into the probabilities of such a thing, that the necklace

  which Spike had brought to him had been substituted for the genuine

  diamonds by a thief. Such things happened frequently, he knew. But,

  remembering what Molly had told him of the care which Sir Thomas

  took of this particular necklace, and the frequency with which Lady

  Julia wore it, he did not see how such a substitution could have

  been effected. There had been no chance of anybody's obtaining

  access to these stones for the necessary length of time.

  "By George, I believe you did!" he cried. "You must have! So, that's

  how it happened, is it? I don't wonder it was a shock when I said I

  knew about the necklace."

  "Mr. Pitt!"

  "Well?"

  "I have something to say to you."

  "I'm listening."

  Sir Thomas tried to rally. There was a touch of the old pomposity in

  his manner when he spoke.

  "Mr. Pitt, I find you in an unpleasant position--"

  Jimmy interrupted.

  "Don't you worry about my unpleasant position," he said. "Fix your

  attention exclusively upon your own. Let us be frank with one

  another. You're in the cart. What do you propose to do about it?"

  Sir Thomas rallied again, with the desperation of one fighting a

  lost cause.

  "I do not understand you--" he began.

  "No?" said Jimmy. "I'll try and make my meaning clear. Correct me

  from time to time, if I am wrong. The way I size the thing up is as

  follows: When you married Lady Julia, I gather that it was, so to

  speak, up to you to some extent. People knew you were a millionaire,

  and they expected something special in the way of gifts from the

&nbs
p; bridegroom to the bride. Now, you, being of a prudent and economical

  nature, began to wonder if there wasn't some way of getting a

  reputation for lavishness without actually unbelting to any great

  extent. Am I right?"

  Sir Thomas did not answer.

  "I am," said Jimmy. "Well, it occurred to you, naturally enough,

  that a properly-selected gift of jewelry might work the trick. It

  only needed a little nerve. When you give a present of diamonds to a

  lady, she is not likely to call for polarized light and refracting

  liquids and the rest of the circus. In ninety-nine cases out of a

  hundred, she will take the things on trust. Very well. You trotted

  off to a jeweler, and put the thing to him confidentially. I guess

  you suggested paste. But, being a wily person, he pointed out that

  paste has a habit of not wearing well. It is pretty enough when it's

  new, but quite a small amount of ordinary wear and tear destroys the

  polish of the surface and the sharpness of the cutting. It gets

  scratched easily. Having heard this, and reflecting that Lady Julia

  was not likely to keep the necklace under a glass case, you rejected

  paste as too risky. The genial jeweler then suggested white jargoon,

  mentioning, as I have done, that, after an application or so of the

  blow-pipe, it's own mother wouldn't know it. If he was a bit of an

  antiquary, he probably added that, in the eighteenth century,

  jargoon stones were supposed to be actually an inferior sort of

  diamond. What could be more suitable? 'Make it jargoon, dear heart,'

  you cried joyfully, and all was well. Am I right? I notice that you

  have not corrected me so far."

  Whether or not Sir Thomas would have replied in the affirmative is

  uncertain. He was opening his mouth to speak, when the curtain at

  the end of the room heaved, and Lord Dreever burst out like a

  cannon-ball in tweeds.

  The apparition effectually checked any speech that Sir Thomas might

  have been intending to make. Lying back in his chair, he goggled

  silently at the new arrival. Even Jimmy, though knowing that his

  lordship had been in hiding, was taken aback. His attention had

  become so concentrated on his duel with the knight that he had

  almost forgotten they had an audience.

  His lordship broke the silence.

  "Great Scott!" he cried.

  Neither Jimmy nor Sir Thomas seemed to consider the observation

  unsound or inadequate. They permitted it to pass without comment.

  "You old scoundrel!" added his lordship, addressing Sir Thomas. "And

  you're the man who called me a welsher!" There were signs of a

  flicker of spirit in the knight's prominent eyes, but they died

  away. He made no reply.

  "Great Scott!" moaned his lordship, in a fervor of self-pity. "Here

  have I been all these years letting you give me Hades in every shape

  and form, when all the while--My goodness, if I'd only known

  earlier!"

  He turned to Jimmy.

  "Pitt, old man," he said warmly, "I--dash it! I don't know what to

  say. If it hadn't been for you--I always did like Americans. I

  always thought it bally rot that that fuss happened in--in--whenever

  it was. If it hadn't been for fellows like you," he continued,

  addressing Sir Thomas once more, "there wouldn't have been any of

  that frightful Declaration of Independence business. Would there,

  Pitt, old man?"

  These were deep problems, too spacious for casual examination. Jimmy

  shrugged his shoulders.

  "Well, I guess Sir Thomas might not have got along with George

  Washington, anyway," he said.

  "Of course not. Well"--Spennie moved toward the door--"I'm off

  downstairs to see what Aunt Julia has to say about it all."

  A shudder, as if from some electric shock, shook Sir Thomas. He

  leaped to his feet.

  "Spencer," he cried, "I forbid you to say a word to your aunt."

  "Oh!" said his lordship. "You do, do you?"

  Sir Thomas shivered.

  "She would never let me hear the last of it."

  "I bet she wouldn't. I'll go and see."

  "Stop!"

  "Well?"

  Sir Thomas dabbed at his forehead with his handkerchief. He dared

  not face the vision of Lady Julia in possession of the truth. At one

  time, the fear lest she might discover the harmless little deception

  he had practised had kept him awake at night, but gradually, as the

  days went by and the excellence of the imitation stones had

  continued to impose upon her and upon everyone else who saw them,

  the fear had diminished. But it had always been at the back of his

  mind. Even in her calmer moments, his wife was a source of mild

  terror to him. His imagination reeled at the thought of what depths

  of aristocratic scorn and indignation she would plumb in a ease like

  this.

  "Spencer," he said, "I insist that you shall not inform your aunt of

  this!"

  "What? You want me to keep my mouth shut? You want me to become an

  accomplice in this beastly, low-down deception? I like that!"

  "The point," said Jimmy, "is well taken. Noblesse oblige, and all

  that sort of thing. The blood of the Dreevers boils furiously at the

  idea. Listen! You can hear it sizzling."

  Lord Dreever moved a step nearer the door.

  "Stop!" cried Sir Thomas again. "Spencer!"

  "Well?"

  "Spencer, my boy, it occurs to me that perhaps I have not always

  treated you very well--"

  "'Perhaps!' 'Not always!' Great Scott, I'll have a fiver each way on

  both those. Considering you've treated me like a frightful kid

  practically ever since you've known me, I call that pretty rich!

  Why, what about this very night, when I asked you for a few pounds?"

  "It was only the thought that you had been gambling--"

  "Gambling! How about palming off faked diamonds on Aunt Julia for a

  gamble?"

  "A game of skill, surely?" murmured Jimmy.

  "I have been thinking the matter over," said Sir Thomas, "and, if

  you really need the--was it not fifty pounds?"

  "It was twenty," said his lordship. "And I don't need it. Keep it.

  You'll want all you can save for a new necklace."

  His fingers closed on the door-handle.

  "Spencer, stop!"

  "Well?"

  "We must talk this over. We must not be hasty."

  Sir Thomas passed the handkerchief over his forehead.

  "In the past, perhaps," he resumed, "our relations have not been

  quite--the fault was mine. I have always endeavored to do my duty.

  It is a difficult task to look after a young man of your age--"

  His lordship's sense of his grievance made him eloquent.

  "Dash it all!" he cried. "That's just what I jolly well complain of.

  Who the dickens wanted you to look after me? Hang it, you've kept

  your eye on me all these years like a frightful policeman! You cut

  off my allowance right in the middle of my time at college, just

  when I needed it most, and I had to come and beg for money whenever

  I wanted to buy a cigarette. I looked a fearful ass, I can tell you!

  Men who knew me used to be dashed funny about it. I'm sick of the

  whole bally busin
ess. You've given me a jolly thin time all this

  while, and now I'm going to get a bit of my own back. Wouldn't you,

  Pitt, old man?"

  Jimmy, thus suddenly appealed to, admitted that, in his lordship's

  place, he might have experienced a momentary temptation to do

  something of the kind.

  "Of course," said his lordship; "any fellow would."

  "But, Spencer, let met--"

  "You've soured my life," said his lordship, frowning a tense,

  Byronic frown. "That's what you've done--soured my whole bally life.

  I've had a rotten time. I've had to go about touching my friends for

  money to keep me going. Why, I owe you a fiver, don't I, Pitt, old

  man?"

  It was a tenner, to be finnickingly accurate about details, but

  Jimmy did not say so. He concluded, rightly, that the memory of the

  original five pounds which he had lent Lord Dreever at the Savoy

  Hotel had faded from the other's mind.

  "Don't mention it," he said.

  "But I do mention it," protested his lordship, shrilly. "It just

  proves what I say. If I had had a decent allowance, it wouldn't have

  happened. And you wouldn't give me enough to set me going in the

  diplomatic service. That's another thing. Why wouldn't you do that?"

  Sir Thomas pulled himself together.

  "I hardly thought you qualified, my dear boy--"

  His lordship did not actually foam at the mouth, but he looked as if

  he might do so at any moment. Excitement and the memory of his

  wrongs, lubricated, as it were, by the champagne he had consumed

  both at and after dinner, had produced in him a frame of mind far

  removed from the normal. His manners no longer had that repose which

  stamps the caste of Vere de Vere. He waved his hands:

  "I know, I know!" he shouted. "I know you didn't. You thought me a

  fearful fool. I tell you, I'm sick of it. And always trying to make

  me marry money! Dashed humiliating! If she hadn't been a jolly

  sensible girl, you'd have spoiled Miss McEachern's life as well as

  mine. You came very near it. I tell you, I've had enough of it. I'm

  in love. I'm in love with the rippingest girl in England. You've

  seen her, Pitt, old top. Isn't she a ripper?"

  Jimmy stamped the absent lady with the seal of his approval.

  "I tell you, if she'll have me, I'm going to marry her."

  The dismay written on every inch of Sir Thomas's countenance became

  intensified at these terrific words. Great as had been his contempt