The Trials of the Honorable F. Darcy

by Sara Angelini

  Right. This is it. Now or never, you coward. Get down on bended knee. Recite a love poem. Tell her how lovely she is in the moonlight, never mind the cursed fog cover. Ask her to be yours and spend eternity with you. Make it good! Don’t fuck it up!

  “Marry me,” he demanded. No no no!!! That wasn’t romantic at all!

  “Yes, Judge Darcy,” she replied.

  Had his heart just exploded?

  She gave him a long kiss, then said,

  “Is that the best you could do?” with an amused smirk.

  “Yes - No. Er, Elizabeth, I love you more than life itself, you would make me the happiest man alive if you consent –“

  “Stop! I liked the first one better!” she smiled. He slanted a smile at her.

  “How about, ‘Marry me, wily wench, and we’ll sail the seven seas together?’”

  “No, that’s not quite it, either,” she laughed.

  He sobered slightly but his eyes twinkled. He pressed his forehead to hers.

  “You must at least allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you, and I beg you to end my suffering and please be my wife,” he said softly.

  She swallowed.

  “Yes, I like that one. That’s the one we’ll tell the grandkids about,” she murmured against his lips. He smiled against hers and kissed her deeply again.

  He pulled the ring from his pocket and held it up. Together they looked at a 3 carat emerald cut diamond with two half-carat kite diamonds on each side, set in a platinum filigree and pave band.

  “Oh, Will, it’s stunning,” she whispered, though she could not see its brilliance in the dark.

  “I realize it may not be to your taste and we can get a different one later. But if you like it, I’d like you to have it. It was my mother’s,” he said quietly, looking first at the ring, and then, almost shyly, to her.

  “Your mother’s? Shouldn’t Georgiana have it, then?” she asked. He shook his head.

  “No, it’s for you. I... it’s incredibly sentimental to me, I want you to have it,” he finished softly.

  “Then nothing would make me happier,” she smiled warmly at him. He put it on her finger and kissed her. Their private audience was cheering loudly and whistling and, in fact, the ballroom had erupted into polite applause, as Judge Boyd had taken that moment to end his speech.

  “We shall not have a moment alone until this party is over,” he said regretfully.

  “No, but I intend to glue myself to your side for the rest of the evening. You can’t just take my hair down and kiss me in front of this audience, sir. You will have to stand up and do the right thing and make an honest woman of me,” she teased. He shivered and put his arms under the jacket, pulling her even closer.

  “It will be my pleasure to deflower, scandalize, and generally ruin your reputation for many years to come,” he smiled. “Well, let’s go give our congratulations to Milton and bear the rest of the evening as well as we can.”

  He released her from his embrace and took her hand.

  “Did you have to ruin my hair for that?” she teased him as she pushed a lock behind her ear.

  “Ruin! I’ve improved it vastly. I should have been a hairdresser,” he replied.

  She looked back up at him, laughing. She couldn’t say anything, she was too happy. She now knew what Jane was dithering on about; unspeakable, unendurable happiness. She was fairly trembling with joy. He hugged her tightly and kissed her again.

  They spent the remainder of the evening together, unabashedly holding hands and mingling. They were met with a few surprised glances but ignored them. More surprising were the unsurprised glances, the approving smiles, the knowing nods. Did everyone know? they wondered.

  They did not announce their engagement, one step at a time, but word did spread that there had been a proposal and an acceptance and judging from their mooney gazes at each other, it was not hard to deduce the identity of the involved parties. But again, their wishes were respected and no surprise toasts or announcements were made. This was, after all, Milton’s party.

  On the drive home, he took her hand and kissed it, running his thumb over the ring on her finger.

  “You did say yes, didn’t you?” he asked. She laughed.

  “Yes, I did. Having second thoughts?”

  “Certainly not. But I wanted to make sure I hadn’t misheard you. You weren’t teasing me, were you? Sometimes you pick the worst time to do that, you know.”

  “This is a terrible start if even you won’t believe I’ve accepted your proposal,” she laughed. He laughed and kissed her hand again. “But to recap, you still love me and we are engaged.”

  “At the risk of sounding terribly melodramatic... you’ve made me the happiest man alive,” he said. She squeezed his hand.

  “Then it is settled, we are to be the happiest couple in the world,” she grinned.

  They drove on in silence, he feeling as if his chest were to burst with joy, she wanting only to curl into his arms and love him. Unable to resist, she unbuckled her seatbelt and slid over to him. She pulled his arm around her shoulders and put her arm around his waist and settled into his side for the remainder of the ride home.

  “Lizzy, when did it happen? When did you fall in love with me?” he asked her. She smiled.

  “I confess it came on so gradually, I hardly knew when it began. It all goes back to Pemberley. Such a house would inspire love in anyone,” she teased.

  “There you go again, I ask you a serious question and you deflect it with a tease. Come now, Lizzy, don’t break my heart. Be serious,” he said softly, his own tone holding a hint of tease.

  “You will have to get used to it! You’ll be having me for better or for worse!”

  “Much for the better, I think.” He squeezed her closer and pulled into the parking garage. They passed the doorman with a nod and took the elevator up to his floor. Once inside he drew her into his arms again.

  “Really, Lizzy? You love me and you want to marry me?” he asked, hugging her. She wanted to laugh but felt this would not be the best time. She pulled back from him and looked into his eyes.

  “Really, Will. I love you and I want to marry you. Please don’t think me so fickle as to be capable of changing my opinions so quickly.”

  “You didn’t just say yes out of pity or fear of embarrassment, did you? You can retract it now if you want.” This time she really did laugh.

  “For the last time - and I mean it, I won’t discuss it anymore - yes, I will marry you. Here, will it make you feel secure if I ask you myself? Fitzwilliam Darcy, will you please do me the honor of being my husband?” she said archly.

  He grinned.

  “Well, at my age it’s unlikely I’ll get any better offers, so yes,” he answered her. She rolled her eyes at him and laughed.

  They retired to the bedroom suite where she opened his medicine chest and pulled out her makeup remover. She brushed her teeth with her toothbrush and brushed her hair with her brush. Everything was here. This was her home as much as had been her home on Longbourn Street, as much as her house with Jane. She knew where everything was, had her own closet space, a dresser of her own. Why do I insist that I don’t live here? she wondered wryly. Because she had been afraid of taking the plunge, of committing to someone she loved so wholeheartedly. She saw now that she was being completely foolish and smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Silly, silly girl, she chided herself. He’s been steadfast all along; if anyone should be insecure, it’s him. You’ve certainly given him cause to doubt. She frowned. And he does doubt.

  She curled into bed beside him, putting her arms around his neck and one leg across his waist.

  “I’ve known since that night when you played guitar for us at Pemberley,” she confessed into his ear. “I was probably well in love before then but that was when I knew. I went upstairs and cursed myself for being a fool. I didn’t even consider that you might return my feelings, I was too wound up in trying to repress them. But that’s when I knew,”
she finished. He looked at her.

  “Thank you,” he said and kissed her. She continued her confessional.

  “Even though I didn’t know it was you, I was attracted to you at the Halloween party. I remember thinking how crazy I was for developing a crush on someone whose face I never saw and who never spoke to me. But I couldn’t help it, I felt this chemistry... did I imagine it?” she asked.

  “No,” he answered. She nestled her head against his shoulder.

  “I thought you were so sexy, so mysterious, the way you stayed by me all night but never said anything.” She laughed softly.

  He smiled and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. “I remember that night very clearly. It was the first time I ever saw your hair down. I couldn’t take my eyes off you from the moment you stepped in until the moment you left,” he said quietly.

  “I seem to recall you telling Jim Foster that I wasn’t handsome enough to tempt you!” she smiled. He pulled back from her.

  “When did I say that?” he asked, astounded that he could ever have been so foolish.

  “The day of my very first appearance before you. At the Assembly Room after work. I was there, I know it all!” she teased him, poking him in the chest. He frowned.

  “You heard that? I can scarcely remember it. What an idiot I was, as it was only the next day that I began to develop a rather inappropriate attraction to you,” he laughed. “You were such a breath of fresh air, always teasing everyone and making the day go faster. I can remember being shocked when you first teased me, then secretly pleased that you found me worthy of your attention,” he smiled.

  She laughed. “I’m afraid to say that I was being blatantly disrespectful to you. After all, to insult a woman in such an infamous fashion! I was determined to hate you.”

  “Ah, well, I know the feeling of such rejection. You liked me well enough as Speed Racer but not so much as Judge Darcy...” he replied, smiling.

  “That’s not exactly true... I recall thinking that you looked quite good skiing at Tahoe,” she smiled. “In fact, you reminded me of Speed Racer!” she laughed.

  “Was that before or after you estimated my age at 75?” he teased. She grimaced.

  “Don’t remind me of the terrible things I said!” she exclaimed with a laugh. “From this moment forward I will remember the past only as it gives me pleasure!” She snuggled closer to him and kissed him. She put her head again on his shoulder and they lay quietly for a moment.

  “You made things so difficult for me,” he said soberly. “But it was worth the fight. I don’t think I would love you so well if you had given in so easily.”

  “You are far too kind; I was awful to you.”

  “Neither of us had the best behavior,” he replied. “I actively sought to make you jealous by pretending to date Caroline.”

  “It worked,” she said flatly. He laughed shortly.

  “Almost too well. For all my speech about not enduring any more heartache, I would have followed you to San Diego if you had left me then. I couldn’t imagine life without you, Elizabeth,” he said tenderly, brushing the back of his fingers over her cheek. “And as you know, I am a very determined man.”

  “How very fortunate for me,” she replied softly. She kissed him then and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. After a moment, she pulled her head back and looked at him. She wanted him to know, to have no doubts about her feelings.

  “I love everything about you,” she said. “I love your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your smell. I love the way you move, I love how sometimes a piece of hair falls down over your forehead and you push it back. I love your fingers. I love the way you only call me Lizzy when we’re intimate. I love that you don’t hate my family. I love that you’re a musician and a judge. I love that you’ve raised your sister. I love your accent. I love that you ride horses.”

  He looked at her in surprise at this outburst. She continued.

  “I love that you hate raisins. I love that you won’t admit that you like porn. I love that you love Led Zeppelin. I love the way your belly button is a little off center. I love that your knees are ticklish. I love the way you say my name when we make love, and the way you say it differently when we fuck. I love that you miss your mother still. I love the way you snore and the way you hate it when I leave you in bed in the mornings.” She paused and took a breath.

  “And I hate that I’ll never be able to really tell you how much I love you,” she finished. She looked into his eyes, saw that he was affected by her confessions. His face bore such an expression of love, tenderness, and gratitude that she nearly wanted to cry. Instead she kissed him.

  “I feel like I’ve loved you forever,” she whispered, “as if we were picking up in this life from another when we loved before. Even when I didn’t want to love you, I felt as if I had no control, it was written out by another hand.” She kissed him again.

  “You are everything to me, Elizabeth,” he murmured against her lips, leaning over her. She wrapped her arms around him. “Everything. You’re the only woman to bring me such happiness to make me feel like I only began to live when I began to love you,” he said in her ear. “Nobody else, ever.” He kissed her shoulder tenderly and then continued, “I loved you yesterday and I love you today and I’ll love you tomorrow and the day after and Monday next,” he said against her cheek. “I’ll never stop loving you, Lizzy. I can’t, I’m helpless.” He kissed her eyelids.

  Both were quivering masses of emotional jello by the end of the night. He had never felt so stripped, as if his doubts had been scrubbed away with sand and his emotions were settling on his raw skin. She loved him, she wanted to marry him, she never wanted to leave him. After so many months of doubt and struggle and many more months of niggling fears, he finally felt safe.

  He clutched her tightly to him and twined his fingers through hers, feeling the heavy weight of her ring. His thumb stroked across it again and he kissed the back of her neck.

  “Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth,” he murmured as he drifted off to sleep.

  ***

  Loathe as they were to get out of bed the next day, they supposed that the announcement must be made. Darcy felt better telling Georgie in person, so they met her and Fletcher for brunch. Both Georgie and Fletcher were genuinely pleased for them; Georgie actually wiped away a tear as she laughed. She hugged Elizabeth and said “I know he’ll make you happy,” in her ear. “He already has,” Elizabeth replied softly. They pressed foreheads for a moment and then laughed pretty, girlie giggles.

  Next came Elizabeth’s parents. This was bound to be more difficult and Elizabeth was torn between leaving an anonymous note on their car and Darcy’s suggestion that they meet her parents for dinner. Darcy prevailed and Elizabeth called them to announce they were coming over for Sunday dinner.

  “But Lizzy, there isn’t a good bit of fish to be had!” Mrs. Bennet exclaimed when Elizabeth called.

  “Mom, it’s not a big deal, we just want to stop by and visit. Throw a frozen lasagna in the oven and that will be fine.”

  But Mrs. Bennet would have none of it and as she was really an excellent cook, it was for the better.

  “We shouldn’t even have to tell them. Honestly, we’ve been engaged almost 24 hours, you’d think she’d notice a disturbance in the Earth’s rotation,” Elizabeth grumbled as they drove to Longbourn. Darcy laughed.

  “Lizzy, I have never met anyone so determined to deprive her mother of the pleasure of a good engagement,” he teased.

  They arrived and were greeted warmly by Elizabeth’s parents. Both Lydia and Mary were gone for the weekend visiting Kitty in L.A. but Elizabeth had called Jane at the last minute to beg her to come to dinner. As she and Bingley had no plans, they agreed; they had suspicions as to the significance of the dinner and would not dare miss it.

  Dinner was a warm intimate affair. Fanny Bennet’s meal was delicious and Darcy complimented the particularly fine wine she had selected. To Elizabeth’s surprise, Mrs. Bennet engaged Darcy
in a very intelligent conversation about the selection of her wine and California vineyards.

  “I learned a good deal of my cooking in Paris but of course I have many other influences, especially Italian,” she said.

  “You spent time in Paris?” Darcy asked her with interest. She nodded.

  “Yes, before Tom and I were married, we spent a year in Paris as sort of bohemians. I worked in a shop and dabbled in art and lived in a flat with Tom and three other people. It was a wonderful time,” she said, smiling. “Although I’ve forgotten most of my French,” she sighed.

  “Do you speak French?” he asked, turning to Mr. Bennet.

  “Mais naturellement ! But of course!” Mr. Bennet replied, smiling.

  “Votre épouse est un vrai cordon bleu, Your wife is an excellent cook,” Darcy said.

  “Merçi, Thank you,” Mr. Bennet answered.

  “Je souhaite épouser votre fille, I wish to marry your daughter,” Darcy smiled at him. Mr. Bennet looked at him in surprise and then said, laughing,

  “Vous pouvez avoir n'importe laquelle des quatre restantes! You can have any of the four that are left!”

  “J'ai choisi votre préférée, I have chosen your favorite,” Darcy said. Mr. Bennet nodded.

  “A-t-elle été d'accord? Has she agreed?” Mr. Bennet asked.

  “Oui. Yes.”

  “Well, very well then,” Mr. Bennet said softly as he looked at Elizabeth.

  “I am hard pressed to improve upon such a fine evening,” Darcy began, “but I hope you will all be pleased to know that Elizabeth and I are engaged.” He held Elizabeth’s hand under the table as he said this. She squeezed his hand hard, waiting for her mother’s fallout.

  “Of course you are, dear,” Mrs. Bennet said grinning. “It was only a matter of time.” Elizabeth sat, stunned. No fainting? No smelling salts? Then she smiled. Suddenly, she loved her mother very much. She pulled her ring from her pocket and slipped it onto her finger.

  “Look at my beautiful ring!” she said excitedly, thrusting her hand at her mother. At that moment, Darcy felt Elizabeth and her mother were more alike than Elizabeth would ever dare admit and he found it charming. Jane went to Elizabeth to look more closely at the ring and to give her congratulations. Bingley gave Darcy a hearty slap on the back and boisterous congratulations.