Witch Me Luck (Wicked Witches of the Midwest Book 6)

by Amanda M. Lee

  “That’s good,” Marcus said. “I think we’ve had enough shootings for one week.”

  Nick rolled his eyes. “I barely clipped her.” He gestured at me. “See. She’s fine.”

  “I doubt Amy Madison feels the same way,” Thistle said.

  “That was an accident,” Nick said.

  “Like yesterday?” I asked.

  “That really was an accident,” Nick said. “I just got excited. You’re the one who jumped in front of the bullet.”

  “I was protecting my aunt,” I said. “You could have killed her.”

  “Like that would have been some great loss,” Nick said, his eyes darting between the four of us. “Oh, come on. You people can’t really like that old biddy.”

  “Of course we don’t like her,” Thistle said. “She’s an awful person who acts up for attention. That doesn’t mean we don’t love her.”

  “I want to be just like her when I get old,” Clove said.

  “Me, too,” Thistle said.

  They turned to me expectantly. “I need more time to think about it,” I said.

  “Is now the right time for this conversation?” Marcus asked, agitated.

  “It depends on how much you value family unity,” Thistle said.

  “Not a lot right now,” Marcus said, taking another step forward. “So … um … what are you hoping to do here, Nick?”

  “I need to borrow one of these witches,” Nick said. “I don’t care which one.”

  “Not it!” Clove, Thistle and I all answered in unison.

  “Why do you need a witch?” Marcus asked. He was trying to maintain control of the conversation, but we weren’t offering him much help in that department.

  “I need to find my money.”

  “The money you stole from the bank?”

  “And Mrs. Gunderson,” I said. “You know, Mrs. Gunderson, right? The elderly woman who was abused by her husband for years.”

  “Get over it,” Nick said. “I barely hit her. If she had stayed in the kitchen instead of being a busybody nothing would have happened to her.”

  “That’s a great way to look at it,” Thistle said. “It’s almost as if you’ve managed to completely make none of this your fault.”

  “It’s not my fault,” Nick said. “The world keeps conspiring against me.”

  “Maybe that’s karma,” Clove suggested.

  “Whatever,” Nick said. “So which one of you wants to be my witch for the day?”

  “We’re busy today,” Thistle said. “Can you try back tomorrow?”

  “That really doesn’t work for me,” Nick said. “I need to get out of this town, and I need to get out now.”

  “So go,” Thistle said. “We’re not stopping you.”

  “I kind of want to stop him,” I said.

  Thistle lifted her finger to her lips. “Shh. Not now.”

  “Listen, I think you guys are kind of funny,” Nick said. “You’re all hot, too. Your hair is kind of a mess in the morning, but I can live with it. I still need to get away from you.”

  “We want that, too,” Thistle said.

  “So find my money.”

  “I already told you we can’t find your money,” I said. “We don’t have a spell to look for lost money. It doesn’t exist.”

  “Why don’t we use the locator spell we used when we were looking for money down by Hollow Creek?” Clove suggested.

  Thistle reached over and smacked the back of her head. “Nice.”

  “What? Oh.” Clove realized what she’d said a little too late to reel it back into her open mouth.

  “Finally! Someone who is willing to help.” Nick gestured to Clove. “Come on. You’re the witch I want.”

  “You’re not taking her,” I said.

  “I’ll bring her back,” Nick said. “I should have taken her in the first place. She’s far less mouthy than you two.”

  “If you touch her, I’ll scratch your eyes out,” Thistle warned.

  “Nick, I can’t let you take Clove,” Marcus said, holding his hands up in a soothing manner.

  “Why not?”

  “Because you’ve killed someone,” Marcus said. “You shot Bay yesterday. I can’t let you just walk out of here with Clove.”

  Nick leveled the gun at Marcus. “Are you sure about that?”

  Marcus didn’t flinch. “Yes.”

  “Are you seriously willing to die for Clove? She’s not even the one you’re sleeping with.”

  “If I have to die for Clove, then I’ll consider it a sacrifice well worth making,” Marcus said. “I can’t let you take her, though.”

  “What if I want to take Bay?”

  “No.”

  Nick pressed his lips together as he glanced around the guesthouse. The silence was overwhelming, but none of us broke it. When the door nudged further open behind Nick, my heart jumped. Landon was back. What if he surprised Nick and was accidentally shot? I’d come to the conclusion that Nick didn’t know how to use the gun purposefully.

  Instead of Landon, though, the figure that moved through the door was a surprise.

  “What are you doing?” Lila asked, waving her hands dramatically. “I’ve been waiting in the car forever.”

  What the hell? “Lila?”

  Lila looked me up and down. “Nice look. I especially like the furry pajama pants and bedhead. How did you ever snag that FBI agent when you look like that in the morning?”

  “Why are you here?” I asked.

  “I’m waiting for Nick,” Lila said. “He’s supposed to have a lot of money and he’s taking me with him when he leaves to spend it.”

  Now I was really confused. “You’re Nick’s partner in all of this?” How did that work?

  “Of course not,” Lila said. “I had no idea what he was up to until we caught up over lunch the other day. Since I was going to be stuck staying here if I didn’t find a new … benefactor … I figured leaving town with Nick was as good a plan as anything else.”

  “I’ve been visiting her out at the Dragonfly,” Nick said. “I’ve been sneaking in after dark because Lila doesn’t want to have to pay an extra fee for having an overnight guest. We’re in love again.”

  Lila rolled her eyes.

  “That’s why the locator spell hit on the Dragonfly,” Thistle said. “Nick must have been out there. We just didn’t see him.”

  “When did you find out about the money?” I asked.

  “The other day,” Lila replied.

  “And you didn’t think that calling the police was a viable way to go?” I asked, angry. “He killed a woman.”

  “It was an accident,” Lila said. “And, to be fair, I did consider telling your boyfriend about Nick’s little endeavor. I thought he would be so enthralled with my bravery he would fall at my feet. I was going to tell him that day I ran into you at the festival, in fact. But he refused to listen to me.”

  “That’s because you were throwing yourself at him,” I said.

  “And that made him want to throw up,” Thistle interjected.

  “Oh, shut up, Thistle,” Lila said. “You’re bitter. I get it. Your life hasn’t turned out as you thought it would. You’re dating a stable hand, for crying out loud.”

  “Hey!” Marcus was affronted.

  “Oh, you’re yummy to look at,” Lila said. “You’ll end up happy … as long as you realize Thistle is going to ruin your life and you move on from her.”

  “I’m going to beat the crap out of you,” Thistle said.

  “Whatever.” Lila studied her fingernails. “Have they found your money yet?”

  “We don’t know where his twenty grand is,” I said. “I’ve already told him we didn’t take it, and we don’t know who did.”

  Lila stilled. “Twenty grand?”

  “Yeah. That’s how much he stole from the bank and from Mrs. Gunderson.”

  “But … .” Lila swiveled, hands on hips as she faced off with Nick. “You said you owed half a million.”

  “
I do.”

  “You stole only twenty grand.”

  “I know. Why do you think I’m so desperate to get out of this town?” Nick asked, oblivious.

  “I can’t live on twenty grand,” Lila said. “Look at me.” She ran her hands up and down her body. “This takes a lot of money to maintain.”

  “Because it’s all fake,” Thistle said.

  Lila ignored her. “How far do you think we’re going to get on twenty grand?”

  Nick shrugged. “I figured we could go to Canada. People are always saying the cost of living there is cheaper. Twenty grand should last us twenty years.”

  “Omigod,” Lila said. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

  “If it weren’t for the gun, I would find it funny,” Thistle said.

  “Well … I can’t be involved in this,” Lila said, shaking her head. “We have to get out of here.”

  “I can’t leave without my money,” Nick said. “I don’t even have enough to fill my gas tank.”

  “How were you going to pay your bill at the inn?” Clove asked.

  “Aunt Tillie is going to be angry,” Thistle said. “She hates people who try to sneak out on their bill more than anything.”

  “Don’t mention that woman,” Nick snapped. “She got me struck by lightning.”

  “You weren’t struck by lightning,” I said.

  “I was so.”

  “No, you weren’t,” I said. “If you were struck by lightning you would have an entrance and exit wound. You don’t.”

  “And you’d probably be dead,” Thistle added.

  “That old woman is evil,” Lila said. “I’ve been shaving my upper lip for two days. It keeps growing back. How long is that going to last?”

  “Until she takes the spell off of you,” I said, not bothering to lie.

  “When will that be?”

  “When you stop pissing her off and become a nicer person.”

  Lila was incensed. “Are you saying I’m going to be like this forever?”

  “Yes,” Thistle said. “Now get out of our house.”

  “This isn’t a house,” Lila said. “It’s a closet. How can the three of you live here together?”

  “Get out!” Thistle was on her feet. “I’ve had enough of both of you. You’re the worst criminals ever.”

  “I am an awesome criminal,” Nick said. “I haven’t been caught yet.”

  “They’re right,” Lila said. “You’re a terrible criminal. You’re also a bad liar. I knew I shouldn’t have believed you in high school when you told me everyone was doing it and I knew I shouldn’t believe you when you said you were rich. I’m out of here.” She turned toward the door.

  “You can’t leave me,” Nick said. “We’re in love.”

  “We’re not in love.”

  “We’ve been sleeping together for days.”

  “That was boredom,” Lila said. “I really wanted the FBI agent. I think Bay cast a spell on him. That’s the only explanation I can come up with for why he would rather be with her than me. Does he know you’ve done this to him?”

  “I think you should both go,” I said. “Landon will be back any second. I don’t think he’s going to be happy to find you guys here.” Landon was going to go crazy if he found Nick near me again. He was hanging on by a thread, and that thread was going to snap faster than Lila’s bra strap in middle school if Nick didn’t get out of here.

  “I’m not leaving without my money,” Nick said.

  “We don’t have your money!”

  “I can’t stay in this … hovel … one more second,” Lila said, turning on her heel and flouncing out the door.

  “Lila!” Nick started to follow her but seemingly thought better of it because he paused and swiveled back around. “Clove, come with me.”

  Clove shook her head vehemently. “No way.”

  Marcus moved closer to her. “You can’t take her.”

  “I have to take one of them,” Nick said. “I’m out of options.”

  “I’ll go.” The words were out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying.

  “No,” Marcus said.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “I won’t be. Landon is going to kill me.”

  “One of us has to leave with him,” I said. “I started this. I’ll finish it.”

  “Bay … .” Thistle’s face was a mask of emotion, worry and anger warring for supremacy.

  “I’ll be fine,” I said, mostly believing it. “Don’t worry about me.”

  Nick gestured toward the door with the gun. “Ladies first.”

  Lila was standing by the passenger side of Nick’s car when I hit the front porch. “You locked the door,” she said, irritated. “I can’t get in the car when the door is locked.”

  “You locked the door,” Nick snapped. “I thought you were leaving.”

  “I’m not walking,” Lila said. “You’re going to have to drive me back to the Dragonfly. I’ll figure out something when I get out there. Hey, Bay, is your father rich?”

  I gritted my teeth and refused to answer.

  “I can’t leave without my money,” Nick said. “You’re going to have to wait.”

  “Well, great,” Lila said. “Let’s find your money then. I can’t spend one more second out here in this … crapfest. It makes me feel dirty.”

  “I think that’s the Chlamydia,” I shot back.

  “That shows what you know,” Lila said. “I got rid of the Chlamydia months ago.”

  I rubbed the spot between my eyebrows. “Okay. I don’t know what to say to that, so I’m just going to ignore it. Nick, let’s head back toward the greenhouse.”

  “My money isn’t there.”

  “I know that,” I said. “We still need a place to start.”

  “Let’s start here.”

  It was like talking to a wall.

  “Find his money, Bay,” Lila said. “I’m starting to get bored.”

  That would be a nice problem to tackle right about now. “I … .”

  The air crackled, signifying magic was afoot. I straightened and looked to the sky, expecting another lightning bolt. Instead, Lila jerked forward, leaning over as she gripped her knees in an attempt to keep from hitting the ground. “Not again!”

  “What’s going on?” Nick asked, taking a step forward. “Are you dancing?”

  “Yes. This is exactly how I dance,” Lila said, careening forward and slamming into a tree trunk. “Oomph.”

  “She never did have any rhythm,” Nick said.

  I knew what was going on. Someone was manipulating the poppet. That meant … . I scanned the bushes on the far side of the driveway, Aunt Tillie’s garden hat popping into view as she straightened. She smiled at me, and even though the situation was surreal, I felt better knowing she was there.

  She pointed toward the side of the guesthouse, and it took me a moment to realize what she was silently ordering me to do.

  “We should get to the greenhouse,” I said. “We need to get you your money.”

  Nick pointed at Lila, who was now rolling around on the ground and flapping her arms like a wounded bird. “Shouldn’t we do something about that?”

  That would be the kind thing to do. “No.” I started moving to the far side of the guesthouse. I had no idea what awaited me there, but I knew Aunt Tillie had a plan. I had to trust her.

  I was two feet in front of Nick when I turned the corner, my eyes widening as they landed on Sam. He grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him, stepping forward and cutting off Nick’s path as he rounded the corner.

  “What the … ?”

  Sam slammed his fist into Nick’s face. Hard.

  “Holy crap!” Nick grabbed his face, dropping the gun on the ground and causing it to go off.

  I jumped, checking myself over quickly. “He missed me.”

  “He got me,” Sam said, grimacing as he hopped up and down on one foot.

  “He shot you in the foot? There’s seriously something wrong
with that gun.”

  “You broke my nose,” Nick howled. “You have no idea how much this hurts.”

  “You just shot me,” Sam said, tumbling backward onto the ground. “Sonovabitch!”

  The sound of something banging on metal reached my ears and I glanced over my shoulder. Aunt Tillie was using the poppet to have Lila repeatedly slam herself into the car. It was starting to look dangerous. “Aunt Tillie!”

  Lila ceased moving and fell to the ground, spent.

  Aunt Tillie shuffled out of the bushes and headed in my direction. “That was fun.”

  “How did you know what was going on?”

  “I saw Sam sneaking around,” Aunt Tillie said. “I had to investigate.”

  “I wasn’t sneaking,” Sam said, grasping his foot and trying to stem the flow of blood. “I saw the idiot with the gun go inside. I was trying to help.”

  “That’s sneaking,” Aunt Tillie said. “If you’re going to take on jerks, you have to be upfront about it.”

  “You were hiding in a bush,” I pointed out.

  “I wasn’t hiding. I’m short.” She glanced at Nick. “What’s his deal?”

  “Sam punched him in the face.”

  “And what’s wrong with Sam?”

  “Nick dropped the gun and shot him in the foot.”

  Aunt Tillie scowled. “Have you ever taken a gun safety course? If anyone ever needed one, it’s you.”

  “I’m going to kill you,” Nick screamed, lunging for the gun.

  Aunt Tillie shook her head, and the gun scooted out of Nick’s reach. He tried again, and the gun moved farther. Aunt Tillie was toying with him now.

  “You really are a witch,” Nick said, giving up and throwing himself on the ground. “Do it. I’m ready. Smite me.”

  I was impressed he even knew what that meant. “We’re not going to smite you,” I said.

  “Speak for yourself.” Landon moved into view and grabbed Nick’s shoulder, flipping him over and slamming his shoulders against the ground. When did he get here?

  “Hey,” Landon said. “How’s it going?”

  “I’m just waiting for the locusts,” Nick said.

  “Good, because here they come.” Landon slammed his fist into Nick’s face.

  “Omigod! I’ve surrendered. You can’t do that!”

  “That’s what you get for shooting the woman I love.” Landon pulled me in for a tight hug. “I’m never leaving you alone again.”