by J. H. Croix
I didn’t even hear Dan’s reply and was downright relieved he didn’t follow me in here. What the hell was wrong with me? It was no big deal to share a few drinks with a co-worker. I shouldn’t be so freaked out about it.
Yeah, but he did actually ask you out. So it’s kinda like a date.
It’s not a date. It’s just drinks after work.
Oh my God. You’re being ridiculous. You’re freaking out because he probably thinks it’s a date. You don’t want to date anyone. You want Tristan.
Ridiculous didn’t quite capture my state of mind. I was literally arguing with myself. My hand shook as I attempted to pour coffee. Emotion rocked me again. I set my mug down, slowly put the coffee pot back on the burner and leaned my hips against the counter. I couldn’t get my shit together.
Exactly why it was a good thing I’d called things off with Tristan. When I’d sent that stupid text, I’d had it in my head we’d somehow manage to be friends again. The idea of seeing him and facing the truth—that he didn’t love me and never would—was like a knife slicing across my heart in thousands of tiny cuts. Each time I saw him, more cuts would accumulate.
I took several deep breaths, trying to gather myself. I was in the fucking break room, for God’s sake. I could not fall apart here.
***
I sat at a round table tucked in the corner at Harry’s Pub, my eyes scanning the room. It was a basic pub with a polished wooden bar and tables to match. Televisions were mounted in the corners and behind the bar, all of them displaying some sports game. There was a grouping of pool tables in the back, and a cluster of tables where I was. I’d ordered a pomegranate martini, mostly because I’d been so surprised to see it on the drink specials list.
The waiter had drolly explained they were trying a few new things. Seeing as Harry’s was almost always busy and clearly did quite well with beer and basic pub fare, I found it amusing. That said, I was happy for the delicious drink. I needed something strong to settle my nerves. I was a few gulps into my drink when Dan came striding across the bar toward me. He flashed me a smile and raised his hand, signaling the waiter, as he slipped into the chair across from me. He ordered a beer and turned his attention to me.
“Didn’t mean to be late. I got caught in a meeting with Dr. Hall’s team,” he explained.
“I didn’t even notice. While I adore Dr. Hall, he’s notorious for having meetings run over. He loves the minutiae. .”
Dan chuckled, his dark brown eyes twinkling. “I’ve noticed that.”
He paused when the waiter arrived and delivered his beer. “So, here we are having drinks,” he said, lifting his beer in a mock toast.
I decided to take him literally and clinked my glass against his beer before draining it and promptly waving for the waiter to bring me another.
I looked back to Dan and thought again that if it weren’t for Tristan, I’d probably like Dan. I should. I mean, he was handsome and he seemed quite nice. He didn’t have that casual, friends with benefits vibe that Bradley did. He had a good job and he even had manners. By all accounts, I should be interested. Beyond a friendly interest, I felt nothing. My body didn’t even kind of hum. I instantly realized I might be returning to a life of sex that bored me to tears.
I swatted away those thoughts. I needed to give anything a shot. The longer I stayed hung up on Tristan, well, the longer I’d be hung up on Tristan.
“That we are,” I finally replied. “So tell me what brought you to our company?”
Thus began a rather predictable conversation where we told each other things about ourselves and showed a friendly curiosity about each other. Not too far into this exercise in futility, a prickle of awareness ran up my spine. Before I finished lifting my head to look toward the entrance, I knew it was Tristan.
That’s how powerful of an effect he had on me. All he had to do was get somewhere near me, and a tidal wave of need rolled through me. I was caught in the riptide in a matter of seconds.
It must’ve started raining since I’d walked in here roughly a half hour ago. Tristan’s dark hair was damp. Across the room, our eyes snapped to each other like magnets. Heat coiled low in my belly, and electricity sizzled through the air, as if a live wire was suspended between us. My breath caught, and I swallowed against the emotion rioting inside of me.
I completely forgot Dan was there until he glanced over his shoulder, the motion nudging me out of my trance. He looked to Tristan and back to me.
“I take it you know him,” Dan said, his tone curious.
I managed to tear my eyes from Tristan’s and look to Dan. I nodded, but for the life of me I couldn’t think of what to say. My heart hammered away, and I could barely catch my breath. I was halfway through my third martini and promptly gulped the rest. The liquid courage I’d been coasting on tonight suddenly felt insubstantial. It was pathetic I needed courage just to get through drinks with someone.
Dan was quiet and took a slow pull on his beer. When he set it down, his eyes met mine thoughtfully. “Can I make an observation?”
I shrugged, feeling foolish and uncomfortable and painfully aware of Tristan’s presence as he walked toward the bar. My eyes kept flicking to him, hungry to see him. He wore nothing other than a t-shirt and jeans. His t-shirt was damp and outlined his obscenely muscled chest and back. I was so bad off that the sight of the corded muscles in his back flexing as his arms swung made my mouth water. Desire—so absent with Dan—flared inside. It was as if I was a bell, and Tristan was the only one who could ring me. The sound echoed through my body in vibrations of need. Heat flooded my belly and limbs. All of this, and I was at a table across the room pining—literally pining—for Tristan while I sat across from another man.
Oh, having drinks with Dan was nothing bad per se. We’d barely gotten past the pleasantries, but it felt so awkward and wrong. It cheapened everything I felt for Tristan.
“I might as well,” Dan said, his voice cutting through the haze of need clouding my mind.
“Might as well what?” I asked, finally looking back at him.
He laughed softly. “I have no idea who that is, but obviously he means something to you. I had enough sense to pick up you weren’t looking for anything more than friendship. I don’t know what’s between you and him, but I think you should probably go talk to him.”
I was so startled, my mouth dropped open. I quickly snapped it shut and started to shake my head. “No, no, It’s just…”
Dan shrugged. “We can still be friends. I’m the kind of friend that tells someone when they’re being foolish. Realizing that I have no idea what’s gone on with you two, all I have to do is look at you, and I can see there’s something there. Go talk to him.”
Dan was so downright sensible and nice, I burst into tears. I needed sensible and nice. I didn’t need the crazy tornado of emotion and need Tristan elicited.
Because he was a nice guy, Dan snagged a napkin from the table and handed it to me. He gave my hand a squeeze when I curled the napkin into my fingers. At that second, I sensed Tristan’s gaze on me. He stood beside the bar, his hand gripping its edge. His eyes were dark. Roughly twenty feet separated us, and I could feel his anger so thoroughly, I felt as if I’d been punched in the gut. I tore my eyes from his and scrubbed the napkin Dan had handed me over my wet cheeks.
I looked up to see Tristan gulping a beer, his back to me. The urge to go to him was so strong, I had to grip my chair to keep myself in place.
“Daisy.”
Dan’s voice brought my focus back to him.
“What?”
“Just go talk to him. You obviously want to,” he said.
“But I told you we’d have drinks and I don’t know…”
“I’ve had a beer, and you’ve been making quick work of those martinis,” he said with a quick grin. “I’m getting an idea why. Look, we can get drinks another time, but you’ve got something to deal with, so go do it.”
When I didn’t move, he cocked his hea
d to the side. “Okay, lecture time. You don’t know me well, but once upon a time I blew up something really good. I know the look in your eyes, so don’t be stupid like I was.”
He jammed his thumb in the direction of the bar. With my heart drumming so hard, it propelled me forward, I finally moved. I stood and meant to walk over to Tristan, but I just couldn’t. I was too overwrought and anxious. Instead, I impulsively dashed out into the rain. I had no jacket and my purse bounced against my hip as I skipped around puddles. It had been overcast earlier and was full on raining now.
Suddenly, a large hand caught my arm. I stumbled slightly and spun around to find Tristan behind me. My breath was heaving, and I was drenched. My skirt had ridden up my thighs, the fitted cotton sticking to my skin. I was chilled through, but so hot inside it barely registered.
“Tristan.”
For a beat, we just stood there, staring at each other.
The tears that had been pressing against my eyelids rolled down my cheeks, mingling with the rain. My heart was racing and emotions tore through me—joy, sorrow, confusion, and more. I’d missed him so, and it had only been three days since I’d seen him. Those days had felt like eons longer. His absence felt like the serrated edge of a knife being dragged across my heart again and again.
His hazel gaze bored into me, so intense I couldn’t look away.
He opened his mouth as if to speak and then snapped it shut.
He leaned his head back and looked up into the rain for a moment before leveling his piercing gaze with mine again.
“I almost kicked that guy’s ass,” he said, his tone wondering as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“That wasn’t a date,” I said quickly. “I was just grabbing some drinks after work. Dan told me I should come talk to you, so here I am.” I rubbed my hand over my heart as if I could soothe the ache.
Tristan reeled me closer to him, shaking his head slightly. “I figured I had two options—kick his ass or tell you how I feel.”
My breath caught and my heart started pounding so hard, I could barely think.
“How about a lifetime of orgasms?”
“Just orgasms?” I countered, hope flying wild and free inside.
He shook his head. “No, a commitment too.”
His shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. “I love you, you know.”
Words started spilling out of me. So many feelings were all bundled up. It was as if they’d been shoved into a closet. His presence opened the door, and everything tumbled out on the floor in a mess.
“I don’t know what I was thinking when I sent that text, but I miss you and I don’t like it. Not at all. I love you, and I didn’t mean to be so stupid about it. I didn’t…” Suddenly, it hit me. He’d just told me he loved me, and I’d barely absorbed it. My hand flew to my mouth. “You love me?”
The rain kept falling, and shivers ran through me. I paused to catch my breath. Tristan stepped to me, pulling me flush against him, his mouth curling at one corner.
“That’s what I said. I got worried you didn’t even notice,” he said, his low chuckle rumbling through me.
One hand slid down and cupped my bottom. I could feel the ridge of his arousal nestled in the cradle of my hips. He lifted his free hand and traced my lips. He hadn’t said a word. I opened my mouth to say something only to have his lips slam to mine. Inside of a millisecond, his tongue was sweeping deep inside, tangling with mine. I plastered myself to him in the rain, the heat burning between us making me forget I was cold and wet.
Chapter 29
Tristan
Daisy moaned into my mouth and flexed against me. It felt so fucking good to have her in my arms. She was all curves. The scent of her encircled me—a hint of honey and a tinge of musk mingling with the rain. Water splashed against the back of my legs when a car passed us by. I broke free from her lips, but I couldn’t keep from tasting her, kissing and licking my way along her jawline and down her neck. She gasped my name, and I drew back, just far enough to look in her eyes.
It was close to dark. The reflection from the lights of passing cars caught in her wet blonde hair. Drops of rain glittered on her eyelashes, framing her wide brown eyes. My heart drummed hard and fast. My throat tightened with emotion at the look of raw vulnerability in her eyes. Thoughts spun through my mind. I’d been walking past Harry’s Pub on the way home and ducked in to escape the rain and perhaps numb myself with a few beers. I’d reasoned myself to a place of sanity about Daisy and planned to track her down and make her listen to me. I loved her, and I wasn’t running from it anymore. I’d looked straight across the room and seen Daisy. Having drinks with another fucking man. I’d never experienced the kind of jealousy I had in that moment.
Then, he’d gone and reached for her hand when she looked upset. As I’d stood there contemplating whether to march over there and clock him, Daisy had dashed out of the bar. Daisy’s response to me lowering myself to beg to see her had been met with complete silence. I’d tried stopping by her place to no answer. I missed her so much, it felt as if my chest had been carved open.
Now here she was, shivering against me, her eyes locked to mine. She said she loved me and the only way I could reply was to pour everything I felt into a kiss. Rain fell around us, drops rolling down her cheeks. I brushed a damp lock of hair off of her forehead and soaked in the sight and feel of her.
“I missed you,” I murmured, my voice coming out gruff.
She pressed herself a little closer to me, a sound coming from her throat.
God, I loved her. So fucking much. I supposed perhaps I should let her know that rather pertinent fact again.
“I love you,” I finally said, the words coming out quite easily for the second time. I’d been so afraid to say them. Yet right here, right now with her in my arms where she belonged, it wasn’t hard. Not at all.
Her eyes widened and then she burst into tears. She buried her face in my chest and burrowed closer, shudders running through her.
I had no practice with this, so I just held on, sliding my hand in sweeping passes up and down her back and tucking my head into her neck. I breathed her in. I have no idea how much time passed before her shudders stopped and her breathing evened out. She lifted her head and pressed her forehead to mine when I met her gaze.
“You could’ve said something sooner,” she said.
I chuckled. “Ah, well luv, I didn’t quite sort it all out until a few days ago. I forgot how thoroughly you could avoid me.”
She bit her lip, a small smile curling at the corners of her mouth.
“Well, your text was a bit vague.”
“I said please.”
She laughed a little then, sniffling and dragging her sleeve across her nose. Her gaze sobered. “That really wasn’t a date. I don’t want you to think…”
“Oh I thought all kinds of things. It’s a good thing you ran out, or I probably would’ve clocked him. Instead, I had to chase after you.”
The jealousy had faded, but I’d be damned if I’d let that happen again.
She chewed on her lip. “I was trying to tell myself I could get over you, but Dan might as well be my brother. I mean, I don’t have a brother, but you should thank Dan. He told me it was obvious you were important to me and not to be stupid.”
“Ah, did he now?”
She nodded fervently, her forehead bumping mine.
“Maybe when I’m not so bloody jealous of him, I’ll thank him. I might need a few days to recover.”
She bit her lip and sighed. Just that—the sight of her teeth denting her plump bottom lip—and need shot through me so hard, my knees almost buckled. I trailed my fingertip along her jaw to trace her lips. They were warm in contrast to the cool rain on her skin. Her tongue darted out, and she drew my finger into her mouth. The subtle suction got me so hard, I could barely breathe for it.
Lust pounded through me. All I knew was I needed her. Now. I reluctantly dragged my finger out of her mouth and glan
ced around, my eyes landing on a set of stairs that disappeared around a corner. We weren’t in the busiest part of downtown Seattle, and it was a rainy evening with rush hour winding down. All I wanted was enough privacy to slake the need driving me so hard I could hardly think.
Keeping her tight against my side, I all but dragged her up the stairs and around the corner to find a small entryway leading to another set of stairs between two buildings. I surmised the stairs led to flats above the businesses, but all I cared about was that we were out of sight and marginally protected from the rain by the slight overhang.
Spinning Daisy’s back to the wall, I lifted her against me and fit my mouth over hers. I thanked all that was holy she didn’t hesitate. Her mouth was as greedy as mine with her tongue tangling wildly as she gasped and moaned while she shoved at my wet t-shirt. Her hands were chilly against my skin, but I was on fire so the contrast only amped up the heat.
My cock was so hard, the pressure was close to unbearable. Her nipples were tight little points pressing against me. I drew back because I needed to see her. I glanced down to see her nipples straining against her thin, cotton blouse. I rolled one between my fingers as I adjusted her in my arms, shoving her skirt up her legs. She didn’t hesitate and wrapped her legs around my waist.
With the sound of the traffic passing us by, unseen from where we were tucked away, and rain pattering on the concrete landing where we stood, I shoved her panties out of the way and dragged my fingers through her folds. She was hot and wet. I sank a finger inside of her, knuckle deep, and almost came at the feel of her clenching around me.
“Tristan…” she murmured, her voice trailing off on a gasp when I added a second finger, stretching and stroking into her channel.
“Hmm, luv?”
Another gasp, and her legs tightened around me.
“I need you inside. I can’t…”
Her head fell against the side of the building. I could hardly bear to take my fingers out of her, but my need to have my cock buried deep inside of her trumped my wish to keep teasing her. Holding her with one hand and capturing her lips in another bruising kiss, I shoved my zipper down and pushed my briefs out of the way, gripping my cock in my fist. I tore my lips free from hers only so I could look in her eyes when I sank inside of her.