by J. H. Croix
I was so bad off about Ethan, this tiny sliver offered me a ticket to wishful thinking and fantasyland. I gave myself a shake and looked over at Sarah. I could not go there. “That’s nice and all, but what the hell should I do about Ted?”
“Nothing. Don’t take his bait. Whether Jana can keep him shut up or not, I don’t think you need to worry as much as you are. If I hear anything, I’ll report him to the board for threatening you like that. I know you’re worried about your end of things, but Ted was trying to extort a settlement from Ethan over this. That’s an actual legal problem. Maybe you got involved with a client, but you did the right thing and handed his case over. Plus, Ethan’s the only one who could really cause trouble for you, and he claims it started before you took his case. I think you should stop worrying and let it go. I’ve got your back and so do plenty of people.”
I didn’t like her answer, mostly because I hated how I felt. I was mortified at ending up in this situation because it just wasn’t the kind of thing I did. Hell, before I met Ethan, I was a virgin. That’s how far away from this kind of thing I’d been. I looked over at Sarah with a sigh. “I was hoping you’d have a better suggestion.”
Sarah smiled ruefully. “I think you’re making it out as more than it needs to be.”
“Fine.” I stood and adjusted my raincoat. I started to turn away when Sarah said my name again.
“What?”
“Is it serious with Ethan?” she asked.
My heart clenched and my mind spun back to the other night when he’d kissed me against the wall. I’d felt like we were alone in the universe, caught in a shimmering web of intimacy with every fiber of me stitching tighter and tighter to him.
I don’t know what she saw in my expression, but her eyes softened and she stood, rounding her desk quickly and pulling me into a hug. She stepped back, cupping her hands on my arms and squeezing.
“No matter what, you’ll be fine. If he means that much, don’t let this chance slip away.”
My mouth fell open before I snapped it shut. “I didn’t say that,” I blurted out.
Sarah smiled softly and stepped back. “The look on your face said it all.” She paused, her gaze considering. “You told me way back when I married Jack that I was a romantic. Maybe I am, but the thing is, we don’t always get to be with someone we love. I know you’re all about being practical, and I respect the hell out of you. But if you love this guy—and my gut tells me you do—don’t let this stupid thing get in the way.”
Blessedly, her receptionist rapped on the door and poked her head around it. “Your five o’clock is here,” she said.
Sarah nodded, and I made my escape. There were all kinds of things I didn’t want to think about right now. Contemplating how much Ethan had come to mean to me the same day I was facing the magnitude of my poor judgment was simply too much. I gave a wave and headed back out into the rainy evening.
A bit later, I reached the entrance to my apartment building and hesitated. Ethan had texted a few more times, his last one indicating he planned to come look for me. I didn’t know what to do about any of it, but I knew if I saw him it would only muddy the waters. He was too powerful of a draw for me, and I needed to think clearly. Instead of going inside, I headed around the corner to the parking garage and hopped in my rarely used car.
Chapter 25
Ethan
“Oh my God! You’re in love!” Belle squealed. She looked from me to Tristan, her brown eyes wide with glee. “Isn’t it great?”
Tristan, good mate that he was, barely nodded and appeared thoroughly absorbed in a sci-fi movie on the telly. Belle was seated between us on the sectional couch and swung to look back at me.
“It’s about time. I’m so happy. You need to do something big now,” she declared, her honey-blonde ponytail bouncing up and down.
I wasn’t quite sure how my little sister had come to this conclusion, but she had. Thing was, I was in a pissy mood and had been since yesterday when Zoe took off from her office. I still didn’t really know why Belle had shown up unannounced. She’d given me some breezy explanation about missing me, her only brother, and needing a change of pace. Under normal circumstances, I’d want to know more, but I was fit to be tied because I couldn’t reach Zoe. She’d ignored all of my texts and wasn’t home. Last night, I’d barely slept. This morning Belle kept asking how come I kept checking my phone, so I finally mentioned Zoe. Belle was like a dog with a bone, so she’d kept at it until I explained the mini-fiasco of yesterday.
Apparently, the whole story led her to conclude I was in love. Merely thinking the word made my heart give a hard thump. I swallowed against the tightness in my chest and wondered where the hell Zoe was. I couldn’t think about my feelings when the more pressing matter was Zoe’s whereabouts and making sure she saw reason and didn’t try to shut me out. Once I solved that, I could ponder this whole love thing.
“Belle, what the bloody hell do you mean?” I asked.
She hooked a foot under her knee and sighed. “It sounds like she’s stressing out and doesn’t know if it’s worth everything to be with you. So you must show her.”
Tristan flicked a glance to Belle. “Everything?” he asked, his tone droll.
Belle blew her breath out, effectively blowing a lock of hair out of her eyes. “Yes, everything. I mean, her career is on the line.”
“Her career is not on the fucking line,” I muttered.
Belle had a tendency toward drama. She was overly romantic. Most of the time, it was amusing. Right now, I wasn’t finding it so.
She must’ve sensed my low threshold for annoyance because her gaze softened. Twirling the end of her ponytail around her index finger, she eyed me. “Well, maybe it’s not, but it sounds like she’s worried. I think you should call Jana and make sure that Ted jerk is taken care of. Then, we can find Zoe.”
“Not a bad plan,” Tristan said with a sage nod.
I stared at him and then looked to Belle.
“We?”
She nodded, a tad too enthusiastically. “Yes, I’m here to help.”
“Oh, so that’s why you’re here?” I countered with a roll of my eyes. “I’ll go with the first part of your plan though.”
I slipped my phone out and called Zoe’s office. I couldn’t help but hope Jana would tell me Zoe was there today. Once she answered, I jumped in.
“You wouldn’t happen to know where Zoe is?” I asked.
“Ethan, oh my God. I’m so glad you called. She asked me to give you a message, but she forgot to get me your number. If you were worried about the team staff giving out your contact info, you can rest easy knowing they absolutely will not. I called over there, and they got all uptight on me,” Jana said with a little huff.
“Is Zoe there?”
My heart set to thudding against my ribs and that knot of tension in my gut started to ease. Until Jana spoke.
“No, hon. She’s not. She told me to tell you not to worry, and she’s at her parents’ for a day or two.”
I sat in silence, wrestling with a mix of disappointment, anger and frustration. I needed to see Zoe, and she was making it really difficult for that to happen.
“Don’t suppose you’d tell me where her parents are?”
Jana’s sigh came through the line. “I can’t. I want to, but I promised Zoe I wouldn’t, and she’s my best friend.”
“Fuck.”
“Oh Ethan. She’ll be back soon, and you can straighten everything out.”
Much as I wanted to badger Jana into telling me how to find Zoe, I sensed it would be futile. I turned my attention to the one thing I could try to resolve.
“Since I can’t do a bloody thing about that, let’s you and I sort this mess she’s worried about. Does she need to be as worried as she is?”
“No and yes. No, because she technically didn’t do anything wrong. Attorney’s getting involved with their clients isn’t a legal problem. If the relationship
started before she took your case, there’s not even an issue.”
I couldn’t resist cutting in. “It did.”
Jana laughed softly. “I suppose it did if you’re counting that time you kissed her.”
“I am,” I said firmly. Because I’d been obsessed with Zoe straight through ever since, so as far as I was concerned that was the truth.
Jana continued, “That doesn’t mean people don’t gossip about stuff like that. She’s worried because she has a really good professional reputation, and she feels like she messed up. The thing is, that’s why she transferred your case. The reason she might need to worry is how things get twisted. Ted Duncan is a class-A jerk. I talked to Sarah today. Between the dirt I have on him and Sarah being present for his little blackmail threat, I don’t think you need to worry.”
I had all kinds of things to say, but most of them were pointless at the moment. I asked the main question, “Are you sure he won’t hang this over Zoe’s head?”
“No. My guess is she’ll probably come clean with whoever she’s made up in her head she needs to.”
Precisely what I was worried about.
“If you talk to her, tell her not to do that.”
Jana laughed softly. “Boy, you’ve got it bad. I’ve already told her that, but I’ll tell her you said so too.”
I bit back a sigh and stared up at the ceiling. “Don’t suppose you’ll reconsider telling me where to find her?”
“Definitely not, but you get points for asking,” Jana said cheerily.
We ended the call, and I stood up from the couch. Restless, I paced in front of the windows. I was a doer. I liked to have a plan and put it into motion. That helped me a lot when I was playing ball. Right now, all it did was make me feel helpless.
“So?” Belle asked.
I turned to her with a shrug. “Jana’s got the thing with the other attorney handled. Zoe’s at her parents’ but Jana won’t tell me where that is.”
Tristan glanced up, his shrewd gaze scanning my face. “Belle’s right,” he said flatly.
Belle grinned and then looked to him. “About what?” she asked, saving me from the same question.
Tristan kept his gaze on me. “You’re in love.””
Coming from him, it didn’t have the frilly excitement of Belle’s earlier declaration. As such, it hit me hard—a bolt to my heart. I stared at Tristan. My breath lodged like a fist in my throat, jumpstarting with the next thud of my heart.
Chapter 26
Zoe
I looked across the kitchen table at my mother. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a tidy twist, the silvery streaks in it standing out against its brightness. She sipped her coffee and flipped through the newspaper. After a fortifying sip of my coffee, I took a breath and eyed her.
“Mom, I need your opinion.”
She folded the paper and looked over at me. “On what?”
I’d arrived two nights ago, and my parents had taken it in stride. I visited every few months as it was. I didn’t usually show up on short notice, but they were gracious enough not to badger me. When it came to parents, I’d drawn a good hand in life. Beyond the fact they’d both been workaholics—I came by that trait honestly—they were involved, caring parents. Work had been such a focus for them, parenting was a bit of a second thought, but they’d distractedly done their loving best. I also felt lucky to have parents who actually liked each other. Their tendency to not focus overly on me had been a blessing when I showed up the other night. I knew they sensed something was afoot with me, but they didn’t press.
Another deep breath. “I got involved with one of my clients. I referred his case, but now a few things have made me think maybe I should, I don’t know… Ugh.” I paused to take a gulp of coffee. That was the crux of my problem. I had no easy way to clear the air. I worked for myself. I might’ve waited a bit longer than I should, but I had transferred Ethan’s case. I just felt mortified about it and didn’t like having it hanging over me.
I looked over at my mother who looked, well, surprised. But not upset or horrified like I’d feared. When I didn’t say anything else because I had no idea what to say, she spoke.
“So that’s what got you all bothered. If you referred the case to someone else, I’m not sure what you’re worried about now,” she said quietly. My mother was ever practical and never prone to drama.
I traced the mug handle with my fingertip. “Well, it’s just not the kind of thing I do. I never imagined I’d let something like that happen, so…”
I didn’t want to get into the thing with Ted Duncan with her. All in all, it wasn’t the core of what was eating at me.
“No, it’s not the kind of thing you do, but then you don’t really date. At all. Are you still seeing him? Well, I suppose I shouldn’t assume it’s a him,” she said with a slight smile.
“It’s a him,” I muttered. “Am I that bad you weren’t even sure if I was into guys?”
She lifted one shoulder in a slow shrug. “Not that it matters, but you’ve never brought anyone home. I didn’t think much of it because you threw yourself into work. You’re so much like your father and I about that. I have worried that you weren’t making time for a personal life. While we both worked a lot, we worked together, so it was something we shared. And we had you. Of course, we dragged you to the office with us, so it’s entirely our fault you followed in our footsteps. But that isn’t my point. My point is I’ve hoped you’d eventually find someone. Tell me about him. I’d guess he means a lot to you, or you certainly wouldn’t have gotten involved with him, seeing as he was your client at the start.”
I don’t know what it was about how she said that, but it hit me hard—a jolt right to my solar plexus. My heart clenched, and I swallowed against the sudden rush of emotion. My mother had zeroed in on the thing that was making my heart ache. I missed Ethan like crazy. I’d dashed out of my office for no good reason other than feeling overwhelmed with it all. Between Sarah’s practical advice and now my mother’s, it was painfully clear that no matter how much I wanted a way to clear things up over my lapse in professional judgment, I’d done the only thing I could do and sent Ethan’s case onward to another attorney. The muddle I was in now was all of my own making.
My mother cleared her throat, and I realized she was waiting. On the heels of another deep breath, I continued, “I guess he does. I’m not really sure what to do about that. He’s not a regular kind of guy.”
She cocked her head to the side and circled her hand. “Do tell.”
“His name is Ethan Walsh. He’s…”
She cut in. “From the Seattle Stars?”
At my nod, she grinned. “Your father is a fan.”
“Since when did Dad start watching soccer?” I asked, stunned.
“Since the Seattle Stars went big time. Now that he’s not working all the time, he enjoys a number of things. He’s going to be so excited!”
“Mom, could you calm down? I don’t even know what’s happening with Ethan yet. Let’s not start the ‘meet the family’ plans yet.”
Her grin morphed into a soft smile. She reached over and squeezed my hand. “Of course. But based on the look on your face, I’d say he means a lot to you. What are you doing hiding out here? Get back to Seattle and see him.”
***
The remainder of my morning and afternoon passed quietly. My mother left to run errands, and I helped my father rearrange the furniture in his office. By the time evening rolled around, I was antsy to get back to Seattle. I can’t say I’d come to a conclusion on anything, but I missed Ethan and was feeling like I was stalling over nothing. I hopped back in my car and figured I could make it home in time to see him that night.
Roughly two hours later, water slapped against my car where it sat on the side of the road, halfway in a ditch. I looked out through the blurry windows and beat back the threat of tears. My hope to get home quickly had been thwarted by the heavy rain. It had gone from a sof
t drizzle to a steady pour. I’d hit a puddle and slid sideways off the road. My car skidded just far enough into the ditch that I wouldn’t be getting out without some help.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I muttered, wearily thumping my fist on the defenseless steering wheel. My options for getting help were to call a tow truck, or Jana. My parents were a good two hours behind me now, and I didn’t want to ask them to trek this far to help me.
I pulled my phone out, only to see another few texts from Ethan. His last one made me burst into tears.
Come on, Zoe. Now I’m not just bugging you. I’m worried. Jana won’t tell me how to find you. Please call me.
I took a shuddering breath and managed to stop crying. Emotionally, I was whipsawing all over the place. One minute, I wanted to forget all about Ethan and go back to my tidy, professional, boring life. The next, I ached to see him. Without thinking, I hit the call button on his text. He answered instantly.
“Bloody hell, Zoe. You’re scaring the shite out of me. When are you coming back?”
His greeting came flying at me, and I burst into tears all over again.