Forget Me Not
Page 29
“I’m sorry, Susan. For all of us, but really for you and Christopher. I’ve said it before, but I feel the need to say it again. Frankly, I’m having a hard time with it because I’m in love with your husband.”
Kelly rocked back on her heels, wishing she could hear Susan’s voice, see her face animated. “Of course, I feel guilty. Who wouldn’t? I want you to know that if I could trade places with you and change things so you and Christopher were still here and I wasn’t, I would do it. But I can’t do that.”
Kelly paused, let her thoughts and emotions settle and opened her heart. “You did well, Susan. What you built here on hopes and dreams in Crossroads is … it’s wonderful. You should be so proud.”
This was the tough part. The part that kept her awake at nights. “I know you were a woman of faith, Susan. You loved Ben, and I’m certain you’d want him happy. Loved. I know you’d want him to love again too. But I’m not sure you’d choose me to be the one to love him or be loved by him. But I promise you, I will love him well. And I’m praying hard he chooses to let me love him.
“There’s still his faith issue to be resolved and, of course, that’s a major thing to me, but I’m being patient. I’ve prayed for a sign about all this. It hasn’t come yet, but it will in its own time. I wanted to tell you one other thing, Susan. I’ll never replace you. Not at Crossroads or in Ben’s heart. I know that. But both really are big enough for both of us. I believe that, down to the marrow of my bones and in every chamber of my heart.”
Feeling better now that she’d settled that, Kelly turned and went in search of Ben.
Harvey met her in the hall. “Hey, thanks for coming on board the team.”
“Glad to do it.”
“We’re finalizing departure. I’ll get with you on that shortly.”
“Just call my cell.” When he agreed, she asked, “Have you seen Ben?”
“I have, but if I told you where he is, you’d never believe it.”
“Why not?”
Harvey’s lips spread in a broad smile. “He’s in the chapel.”
Kelly nearly hit the floor. “You’re serious?”
“Definitely.”
Elated, she rushed down the corridor and stopped outside the etched-glass door, next to Peggy. Looking through the glass, she saw Ben inside.
At the altar on his knees.
Her sign.
Tears slid down Kelly’s cheeks.
Peggy patted her shoulder. “A praying man is a beautiful thing.”
“It certainly is.” Kelly sniffed and smiled at Peggy, having difficulty looking away from Ben. “One of the most beautiful things I’ve ever in my life seen.”
Thank You, God. Thank You …
The toe of her shoe bumped the door.
Ben looked back, then motioned for her to come in.
She was too choked up to speak.
Still on his knees at the little altar, Ben smiled and raised his hand. “Join me?”
Kelly took his hand, knelt beside him, and together they prayed their first joint prayer.
During this entire crisis, she hadn’t known who she was but had never doubted she believed. Faith carried her. And Ben had known exactly who he was and had only doubt and disbelief. He’d felt forgotten.
God, with His extraordinary insight, had brought them together to support each other’s weaknesses and strengths.
“Father,” Ben said, “it’s been a hard road, but You’ve proven that while we might not always see or understand, You do, and Yours isn’t just convenient memory.”
Kelly listened to Ben go on to say the very things she’d sensed deep inside even during her memory lapse.
“God, You never abandon, never give up, never walk away from anyone. And even when we wonder, You remain steadfast and sustain us.”
With a full heart, Kelly lifted her gaze upward. God took one position with those who dared to love Him:
Forget me not.
And Kelly continued their prayer with gratitude for that truth.
READERS GUIDE
“Even when we forget who we are, at core level we remember whose we are.” That belief prompted author Vicki Hinze to write Forget Me Not.1 What core-level memory do you feel you could never forget? Why? Do you think bad memories are more easily recalled than good ones?
Do you believe forgiving means forgetting? The Bible states that repentance washes away our sins and that God no longer remembers them.2 Are human beings capable of that kind of forgiveness without God’s help? Have you struggled with not being able to forget what you thought you had forgiven? Are there times when not forgetting is constructive?
Would it be a blessing to be able to forget parts of your past? Or do you believe it takes all of those parts—good and bad—to be the person you have become? Why? If you could wipe your memory clean and start over, how would you construct your life differently?
Do specific names evoke a specific emotion in you? If you could choose your name, what would it be? Why would you choose it?
The heroine in Forget Me Not is a woman of serene faith. It gives her certainty and calm in horrific circumstances. What has brought you calm and certainty in troubled times?
Much has been written about the power of prayer. What, to you, is the greatest benefit of individual prayer? Is a group united in prayer for a specific purpose more or less powerful than individual prayer?3
Kelly is warned that “some people are the opposite of what they appear to be.”4 Have you found this to be true? What about people of great wealth, like Gregory, who endowed inspiring works of art, gave prestigious scholarships, and benefited charities? Can people who do these things yet live dissolute personal lives be redeemed? Can enduring humanitarian works help erase the personal harm done by an unbelieving, evil, or corrupt personality? Or must that redemption be made solely through repentance and God’s grace through Jesus Christ?
We all have challenges and bear burdens. Matthew 11:28 inspired the entire Crossroads Crisis Center series of books.5 In times of trouble and burdens, has your relationship with God given you rest? Has that aided you in coping with your challenges? resolving your conflicts? easing your burdens?
Ben and Kelly are wealthy people. Is it harder, do you think, to be a rich or a poor Christian?6 What makes it harder or easier? Do material possessions impact a person’s inner life at all?
Repeatedly, Kelly hears God’s instruction: Be patient with him. She listens and tries, but it isn’t always easy. Is being patient difficult for you? What experiences have led you to trust in God’s perfect timing?7
Ben had a loving, content marriage. As a widower, he had challenges starting over in a new romance. If you suffered such a loss, what would encourage you to try again? What would discourage you?
Kelly was orphaned, abused, and mistreated. Often in abuse cases, those abused become abusers. Yet she did not. Neither did she grow bitter or engage in destructive self-pity. Instead, she made God her escape plan from the abuse and learned to pray. She relied on Him, and as an adult she commits to helping others stay safe. That is this story’s tie to Matthew 11:28.8 Did her reliance on God, her trust in Him, break the cycle so often present in abuse cases?9
Have you experienced situations like Kelly’s where you felt the hand of God at work in your life?10 If so, please explain.
1. To see what the Bible says about these things, you can begin by reading the following Scriptures from the New International Version (NIV): “Moses said to the people, ‘Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning’” (Exodus 20:20).
2. “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” (Acts 3:19).
3. “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven” (Matthew 18:19).
4. “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly the
y are ferocious wolves” (Matthew 7:15).
5. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
6. “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God’” (Matthew 19:23–24).
7. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).
8. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
9. “When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these’” (Mark 10:14).
10. “You saw with your own eyes the great trials, the miraculous signs and wonders, the mighty hand and outstretched arm, with which the LORD your God brought you out. The LORD your God will do the same to all the peoples you now fear” (Deuteronomy 7:19).
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Dear Reader,
As I write this, I imagine you sitting at my kitchen table, and we’re sharing a cup of coffee. I’m trying to contain my excitement about having written Forget Me Not. I’m failing and smiling about it.
I’ve been writing for a long time, and yet this is fresh and new and in so many ways for me an exciting adventure. You see, this is my first book of Christian fiction, and like so many people of faith who take leaps of faith, my heart is full.
Crossroads Crisis Center came in a flash—where it was, who worked there, the types of cases they dealt with, and the stream of faith that was present in all the work done there. I loved that. The story took a little longer—a lifetime of living and learning and seeking truth.
My journey has had many starts and stops and wrong turns, but always God was there, sustaining me and giving me the strength to endure and persevere and persist. After a particularly dreadful challenge, I realized that He has always been there and that even when I didn’t know who I was, I knew whose I was. That realization became the spine of the story in Forget Me Not.
Thank you for taking this journey with me. I’d love to hear from you and invite you to visit my Web site at www.vickihinze.com and e-mail me anytime. In His light and love, I wish you and yours many …
Blessings,
Vicki
Don’t miss Lisa and Mark’s exciting story …
Available in Spring 2011
FORGET ME NOT
PUBLISHED BY MULTNOMAH BOOKS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921
All Scripture quotations unless otherwise indicated are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (KJV) are taken from the King James Version.
The characters and events in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to actual persons or events is coincidental.
Copyright © 2010 by Vicki Hinze
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.
MULTNOMAH and its mountain colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Hinze, Vicki.
Forget me not : a novel / Vicki Hinze.—1st ed.
p. cm.—(Crossroads crisis center ; bk. 1)
eISBN: 978-1-60142-260-6
I. Title.
PS3558.I574F67 2010
813′.54—dc22
2009032440
v3.0
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Author’s Note
Copyright