Sublime Forgiveness (Sublime Series Book 3)

by Charlene Zapata

  Now there’s a huge crowd hovering over us. My last hit stunned him enough to give me time to push the guy off of me. I pounce like a madman, pounding in his face. After a couple more hits, I feel strong arms wrap around me, pulling me off this loser.

  “I think you proved your point, Vince. Let’s get out of here before the cops come.”

  “Too late for that.” Some girl standing by the front door yells in our direction.

  I turn to Tommy and tell him to run. I’m too drunk to make it out of here. Besides, this dumbass is probably going to press charges anyway. I see my friends disappear out the back door just as two police officers walk into the living room.

  “What happened here, boys?”

  “What does it look like? I just beat the shit out of this kid. You going to arrest me or am I free to go?” Why do I have to be such an asshole? Of course they’re going to arrest me. Let me just give them more fuel for the fire.

  “Alright then. Hands behind your back.”

  Sadly, I know this routine. This isn’t my first time being arrested and I’m sure it won’t be my last. I’ve spent a few nights at juvy. It’s not so bad. Especially for a guy with my reputation. People tend to leave me the hell alone. The only part I dread is the phone call to my parents. And the disappointed look on my father’s face when he decides to come bail me out.

  I think I passed out on the car ride to the station. I don’t remember much. Fingerprints, mug shot and being thrown into a single cell. Because I’m a minor, I don’t get put into the general population. Since our town is so small, the county jail processes everyone before redistributing us to where we actually belong. I’m not sure how much time passes before they haul me off to juvy but I am keenly aware that my buzz is wearing off.

  The next morning is pure torture. The cells open at 6 am sharp with a very loud alarm sounding off for what seems like forever. My head is pounding like a jackhammer as I start to see flashes of what happened last night. I don’t know why stupid things set me off like a raging maniac. When I mix alcohol with my ego, things just turn ugly. I head down to the cafeteria to see if by some miracle they actually have juice for my dry cotton mouth. Of course, I’m left disappointed. This place never has anything good. I turn right back around and go to my cell to try and sleep it off. My parents probably won’t be able to get me out until tomorrow given that today is Sunday.

  I settle into the thin mattress that covers a thick concrete block. It does little to provide comfort but I’m so hung-over, it doesn’t really matter. I spend the next 24 hours sleeping as much as possible. I’ve learned that it’s better to keep to myself inside juvy. There’s no point in making friends in here. Everyone just uses you in the end.

  Monday morning comes and goes. I had my arraignment hearing and the judge agreed to release me to my parents. I felt like the lowest form of a human when I saw my mom and my dad standing in the courtroom. I can’t believe they both had to take time off work just to bail me out. Again. It takes a couple of hours to process the paperwork before I’m finally released.

  “I don’t even want to hear it this time, Vincent. You know what this means. You will be restricted from going anywhere except school. You will not have access to the television, phone, or computer except to do school work. Is that understood?”

  “Yes sir.” I don’t dare ask how long this will last. Not now. I can see the vein in my father’s neck bulging from his restraint. The anger in his eyes says it all. My mother had to get to work but I’m sure I’ll see the disappointment in her eyes later tonight.

  When we walk through the front door, my father tells me to get changed because he’s taking me to school. There’s only like 2 hours left but he doesn’t care. And I don’t argue. I walk down the hall and see that he removed my bedroom door. Again. Son of a bitch. There goes my privacy.

  Chapter Six

  It’s been almost three months since I was locked up in juvy. I have had zero freedom. My dad has kept a very close eye on me and when he can’t be around, he makes sure to employ my brother as his own personal spy. I’m ready to kill that little weasel. My mother has tried to reason with my father but he won’t hear any of it. This is the longest stretch of punishment he has ever dished out. I’m beginning to wonder if he’ll ever let up.

  I wish I could be more excited about winter break but being stuck in the house has dramatically affected my mood. I keep snapping at everyone. The only thing that keeps me sane is sleep. Lots and lots of sleep. So when I wake up on Christmas morning, I lay starring at my ceiling wondering how in the hell I’m going to get through another day. I sit up in my bed, rub my eyes a few times and look out into the hallway. Only I don’t see the stained up wallpaper that is practically falling down. I see a door. A glorious, solid brown door. Best. Christmas. Ever.

  I make my way out to the kitchen where my mother is cooking a giant breakfast. My father sits at the table with the newspaper in front of his face, not bothering to look up when I sit down next to him.

  “Thanks, Dad. It means a lot that you put my door back.”

  “I hope you’ve learned your lesson, son.”

  “I hope so too, Dad.” And I really mean it.

  “Vincent, I wish you could see the potential I see. These last three months have proven to me what you are capable of. All your grades improved, you helped out around the house and most importantly, you stayed out of trouble.”

  “Only because I didn’t have any other choice.” My father grunts at my response. “But I see your point, Dad. I’ll try harder. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Now that everything is all cleared up, maybe we can have a pleasant Christmas together?” My mother looks at my father and then at me. So we both answer in unison.

  “Of course, Martina.”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  That puts the biggest smile on my mother’s face. I’ve missed that smile. She hates it when I’m in trouble because she doesn’t like seeing her son suffer. Then the moment is ruined by my loser kid brother. He walks in the room with the goofiest grin on his face.

  “Looks like someone finally got their door back. Maybe this time it will stay up.”

  “Shut-up.”

  “Vincent Daniel Moreno. We will have none of that on Christmas day. Apologize to your brother.” My mother gives me her death glare which means she isn’t playing around.

  “Sorry. It won’t happen again.”

  “I accept your apology.”

  I don’t know which is worse. Not having the freedom to leave my house or knowing that I can but not today. On the plus side, no one goes out on Christmas so I’m not missing anything. I just have to survive one more day before I can break free. The only person my parents have allowed over is Tommy. I’m more than grateful for that. I think I would have lost my mind if he hadn’t been around so much to entertain me.

  Later that day, we sit around our tiny living room exchanging gifts. Since we don’t have a lot of money, we draw names so we only have to buy for one person. Of course my Dad always gets my mom a little something extra. It’s amazing that after all these years they still seem like love sick teenagers. I was lucky enough to draw my dad. He’s pretty easy to shop for. Just get him some fishing gear and he’s happy. After everyone is done opening their presents, it’s my turn. By process of elimination, I’ve come to the conclusion that Joey is the one who got my name. Great. Just great.

  He hands me a small box that isn’t even wrapped. If my parents weren’t watching me, I would probably just throw the damn thing away without even opening it. Joey doesn’t have a job so he usually just re-gifts things from around the house. I pull the lid off slowly, trying to work up the appropriate reaction. I glance down and notice a silver key.

  “What’s this?”

  “Well, it’s not really from me. But I should still get credit for wrapping it.”

  “Vincent, your father and I agreed that it’s time for you to get your driver’s license. That’s a key to Dad’s truc
k. So when you complete the course, you can borrow his truck on the weekends.”

  “As long as you stay out of trouble. All it’s going to take to lose this privilege is one mistake. I hope you understand that and respect the trust we are putting in you.” My father looks at me with hope. Hope that this might just be what keeps me in line. Hope that maybe I will straighten my life out.

  “Thank you both so much. I really want to try to be better. I will work as hard as I can to keep your trust.”

  I can’t believe I will finally be able to drive around legally. No more worries about getting pulled over and hauled off to juvy. As soon as we finish up, I give Tommy a call. I want to share the news of my release and tell him all about getting my license.

  After a huge dinner, we settle back into the living room for a movie. I look around our tiny house, with all its flaws and realize that right now there isn’t anywhere else I would rather be. I just wish this feeling could last forever.

  The next morning, I jump out of bed. I don’t even look at the time. It doesn’t matter. It’s not Christmas anymore and I’m not grounded. I don’t want to waste another minute being stuck inside this house. Both of my parents had to go back to work today. I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on my little brother but he’s such a suck-up, I doubt he would even know how to find trouble let alone get into any. I find some crinkled up clothes on the floor, lift them to my nose to see if they pass the test. They do. I get dressed in 30 seconds flat. I’m out the front door before I see or hear Joey.

  I stand on my porch and inhale a deep, calming breath. There were some nights that I thought I would literally crawl out of my skin if I had to stay locked inside for even one more minute. I really can’t believe I lasted three extremely long months. Right now I’m regretting not grabbing my jacket. Damn, it’s cold.

  It’s still pretty early, I doubt anyone I know is up right now. I decide to take a short walk down to the corner store two blocks over. I could use some orange juice and maybe a donut. I halfway jog to get my blood pumping, trying to warm my body up in the chilly morning breeze. The store is pretty empty so I quickly grab what I want. Just as I’m about to pay for my breakfast, Nate and Dustin walk in.

  “What are you guys doing up this early?”

  “Up? Hell, we never went to bed. You missed an epic party last night.” After taking a closer look, I notice Dustin looks like he’s still drunk.

  “What are you talking about? It was Christmas. No one parties on Christmas.”

  “Well, they did last night. We all snuck out about midnight and headed over to the abandoned church on 5th Street. We would have invited you but your old man wouldn’t let you take phone calls.”

  “Dammit. Well, regardless of last night I’ve got good news, losers! My sentence has just been lifted. I’m a free man. Please tell me there is something going on tonight.”

  “It’s about damn time!” Nate yells loud enough that the store clerk lifts his head from the newspaper he was reading. I give him a small, apologetic smile.

  “You guys better get home and get rested up because I promise tonight is going to outdo last night and every night before now.”

  I know. I’m an idiot. My parents just gave me back my freedom and I’m already risking everything just to have a good time. But I deserve to let loose after the hell I’ve endured the past few months. And that’s exactly what I do. Night after night. I did learn something from this whole experience. I have got to be way more careful. If I get busted again, I could lose everything.

  Chapter Seven

  Who would have thought Driver’s Ed would be so boring. Like mind numbing, tempted to shoot myself in the foot just to have some excitement, boring. I have never been so grateful for a class to end. Eight weeks of listening to a monotone teacher go on and on about safety, turn signals and the meaning of every road sign known to man. It’ll all be worth it when I take my test on Saturday and officially get my license.

  I walk outside, clenching my certificate in my hand, waiting on my father to pick me up. I can’t believe it’s still this cold in the middle of March. Sometimes I really hate living up North. An hour later, and I can’t feel my fingers, my toes or the tip of my nose. My dad is never this late. I decide to give up waiting and head in the direction of my house. Thirty minutes later, I reach the long, cracked driveway that leads to warmth. I don’t see any lights on as I climb the front steps. When I open the front door, I notice an eerie quietness.

  I start to turn on all the lights as I check each room. There is no sign that anyone has been home. That’s strange. I check the refrigerator for a note but find nothing. Where the hell is everyone? I look around the kitchen for some kind of sign. Nothing seems out of place. Everything looks just the way it did when I left this morning. Something is wrong. This doesn’t feel right. I start to pace the floor, racking my brain, trying to think of what I should be doing right now.

  I try sitting at the table but that does nothing to calm my nerves. I go back and forth from the bedrooms to the living room and back to the kitchen. I keep looking for some kind of clue that will magically tell me where everyone is. The clock keeps ticking by, making me more restless with each second that passes. When the phone finally rings, I nearly jump out of my skin. With shaky hands, I quickly grab the receiver.

  “Hello?”

  “Vinny. You gotta get down to the hospital. It’s dad. He had another heart attack.”

  “Joey, is he alright? What happened?” I can barely understand a single word because of all the crying.

  “Just hurry.”

  Then the line goes dead. This can’t be happening. Not again. Not now. I remember the last time he had a heart attack. It nearly destroyed my mother. I have to go. I need to be there for my family. I don’t think about anything else. All my energy is focused on getting to the hospital. I run out of the house and head straight to Tommy’s. The hospital is way too far to walk. The next thing I know; I’m standing on Tommy’s porch out of breath. I don’t even remember running to his house. I start banging on his door like a lunatic. I can’t even imagine what I must look like because Tommy doesn’t hesitate letting me in when he opens the door.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s my dad. Can you take me to the hospital?”

  “Of course. Let me get my jacket and keys.”

  Everything else is a blur. I don’t even remember how I got here, to this moment that will undoubtedly change the rest of my life. I stand in the hallway of the emergency room, holding my mother as she weeps for her husband. I didn’t even get to show him my certificate. That piece of paper that showed I could stick to something if it was important enough to me. The tiny scrap of an accomplishment that seems so insignificant now. I didn’t even get to say good-bye. He was gone before I even got home. I feel numb. Lost. Misplaced. Like this is happening to someone else. Because this can’t be happening to me.

  Joey clings to my mother’s side as I try to hold onto both of them. The doctor is nodding his head back and forth, repeating over and over how sorry he is for our loss. I wish he would go away. I don’t want his apology for not being able to save my father’s life. I don’t want anything this place has to offer. I just want to go home. I honestly don’t know what else to do. My mother is soaking my shirt with her tears, my brother is a blubbering mess and I’m...I’m…just frozen. Stuck in this moment that seems like it’ll never end.

  Hours go by before we’re able to leave the hospital. My mother had to practically beg the nurse to let her say good-bye to her husband before they moved his body. Joey went into the room with her but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to see my dad that way. I didn’t want to remember him broken on an operating table in the stark hospital room. So I stayed outside. Waiting with Tommy by his car. We don’t say a single word to each other as we wait.

  I hear the emergency room doors slide open and when I look up, I see a broken woman. My mother looks so lost. I rush over to her to offer some kind of comfort. But what do y
ou say? What do you do for someone who just lost the most important person in their life? Joey walks out behind her, completely devastated. I don’t know what to say to him either. So instead, we let the silence fill the air. Tommy offers to drive us all home. I don’t even know how my parents got here. Or where they were when this happened. Right now, I don’t want the details. I don’t want to know anything. I just want to be home. Back in the safety and warmth of our tiny house.

  The hours pass by slowly and before I realize it, the sun is rising. The living room is no longer cast in the shadows. Sunshine begins to pour in through the windows, shedding light on our tired faces. We barely made it past the front door when we got home. We all just sat on the couch crying. Holding each other like nothing else in the world mattered. Tommy must have left at some point to give us privacy because I don’t see him now. I turn to my mother, whose eyes are red and puffy.

  “What do we do now?” My voice sounds weak, scratchy and so unsure.

  “I will contact the funeral home today and make the arrangements. I don’t want you boys to worry about a thing. I will take care of everything.”

  “No, Mom. I want to help in any way that I can. Please. Let me do this. For you and for dad.”

  “Okay, Vincent.”

  I look over to the end of the couch where my brother is snoring softly. I’m glad he was able to get some sleep. I’m sure this is just as hard on him as it is on me. But I need to step up and help my mom. I have to become the man of the house. It’s what my dad would want. If I only knew what that meant.

  *****

  Several days have passed since the funeral. It was a small service. My mother had to finance the burial because my father didn’t have any life insurance. I can see the strain it’s putting on her. Not only does she have to deal with the loss of her husband, but now she has to figure out how to pay to bury him. The guys have been bugging me to go out but I haven’t felt up to doing anything. I also don’t know how much longer I can sit around listening to my mother cry. I grab my jacket and head out the front door. Joey gives me a disappointed look as I turn to run away from this nightmare.