Healing a Heart

by Amy Lillard

  “Sounds fine to me.” She let herself out of the truck, sliding to the ground just as Jake came around to help her.

  “You shouldn’t be trying to get out by yourself.”

  She shook her head. “I’ll do it by myself as long as I’m still able. Lord knows there’s going to be a time real soon when I may be stuck in there till the baby comes.”

  “Babies,” he corrected.

  “Right.”

  Together they walked to the front door of the ranch house. It opened while they were still on the porch, and Wesley flung herself toward Jake. “Daddy! Daddy! You were gone forever. Where’d you go? One of the kittens got stuck up in the barn loft and Joe Dan had to crawl up there and get him down. I don’t know who was madder, Joe Dan or the cat. Where were you?”

  He hugged her close, then allowed her to slip to the ground. “I had to take Miss Bryn to the doctor.”

  Wesley squinted her eyes and looked up at Bryn. “Why? Are you sick?”

  She wasn’t sure what to say, but thankfully Jake stepped in. He took Wesley’s hand and led her into the house.

  “That’s exactly what I want to talk to you about. How about we discuss it over a bowl of ice cream?”

  “Bubble gum?” she asked. “That’s my favorite.” She skipped on ahead.

  “Bubble gum?” Bryn asked.

  Jake shuddered. “It’s bright blue and terrible. But I have a secret stash of vanilla with chocolate syrup if you’re interested.”

  She should say no, but he’d just hit upon her one weakness. “I’m more than interested. Lead the way, cowboy.”

  Wesley had already gotten the bubble gum ice cream out of the bottom freezer by the time Jake and Bryn managed to get to the kitchen.

  “Go sit down,” he said, motioning for Wesley to head to the table. “You too.”

  It had been so long since anyone had waited on her that Bryn didn’t protest. She obediently walked to the kitchen table with Wesley, sliding onto the bench opposite her while she waited for Jake to serve up their ice cream.

  It wasn’t long before he joined them at the table.

  “Is it good?” he asked.

  Wesley nodded her head while Bryn showed her appreciation by licking every speck of chocolate off the spoon.

  Jake caught her, his green eyes ablaze, ice cream forgotten.

  Bryn blushed and ducked her head. She hadn’t meant for the action to appear sexual but she was afraid that was the only way to take it. And that meant . . .

  Their night together flashed through her mind. Soft sighs and hot kisses. Had it been as special as she remembered? Or was it merely a trick of time mixed with a little too much to drink?

  And then there was that kiss in his office . . .

  “Do you remember asking me about getting a little brother or sister?” Jake asked. His voice was so nonchalant Bryn looked around to see who he was talking to.

  “Yes, sir. And you said you’d rather have a dozen more kittens. Joe Dan told me that a dozen is twelve. So do I get twelve more kittens?”

  Bryn winced. Nothing like laying it out in the open.

  To her amazement, Jake turned an unnatural shade of red. “Well, what would you say if I told you that I’d changed my mind about a little brother or sister?”

  It took only a moment for his words to register with Wesley. “Really?” she breathed. “Really? Oh, really?” She stood up on the bench and flung her arms around his neck. She left a blue streak of ice cream on his face as she kissed his cheek.

  “When are we going to get it?” Her immediate joy burned out fast in the light of melting ice cream. Wesley sat back down next to her father and started to eat with renewed gusto.

  “We’ll have to wait a few more months. Probably four. Maybe sometime around Christmas. Maybe a little after.”

  “Is that going to be my only present?” Her brown eyes were enormous in her elfin face. Bryn couldn’t tell if she was horrified or delighted.

  “I’m sure we can swing a couple more things. Maybe even a second baby.”

  “Two babies? Like the Brenner twins.”

  Bryn had no idea who the Brenner twins were, but it seemed Jake did.

  “Yes, except these will be the Langston twins.” Just the name made Bryn think about all the trouble two little cowboy brothers could get into. With the size of Cattle Creek, she knew they would be the talk of the town. Just like their daddy and their uncles before them.

  “And who are you going to get these babies with?” Smart kid. She had already figured out there needed to be a mommy and a daddy even if she didn’t have one.

  “Miss Bryn.”

  Wesley turned her eyes on Bryn. “Can the babies have purple hair too?”

  “Oh, no,” Jake said. “I don’t know what color their hair will be, but I do know that it won’t be purple.”

  “Okay.” Her expression went from elation to crestfallen, then morphed to thoughtful. “Are you having the babies, then going away? That’s what happened to my mom.”

  A lump the size of Texas formed in her throat and Bryn choked on her answer. But she would be home in Georgia long before the babies came.

  She cleared her throat. “I surely hope not,” she finally managed.

  Chapter Eight

  Jake caught Bryn’s gaze and held it. He knew what she was thinking. She was going back to Georgia in just a few days. That was if he couldn’t stop her.

  “Ice cream time?” his mother asked. She came into the kitchen, Grandma Esther following close behind.

  He answered without taking his eyes off Bryn. “We’re celebrating.”

  His mother moved to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. “Doctor’s appointment go okay?”

  “You could say that,” Jake murmured.

  “It’s twins,” Bryn finally said.

  His mother’s stunned look was priceless.

  “Like the Brenner twins,” Wesley chirped. “And their hair won’t be purple.”

  Evelyn eased down on the bench next to him.

  “Well, I’ll be.” Grandma Esther shook her head. “That is something.”

  He could almost see his mother gearing up in her argument for them to get married, but thankfully she didn’t say a word. If Jake couldn’t convince Bryn, he didn’t want his mother adding to the situation.

  “This calls for a celebration,” Evelyn said.

  “Agreed,” Grandma Esther followed. “I’ll make a cake.”

  “Jake, call Seth and Jessie,” his mother continued. “Too bad Chase can’t be here.”

  His mother still held on to the fantasy that Chase had left on good terms and might walk back in the door at any minute. The saddest part of all was how she couldn’t see his shortcomings. But it had been that way so long everyone was pretty much used to it by now.

  “You don’t have to go to any trouble.” Bryn finally broke eye contact and turned to his mother.

  “Nonsense. This is special.” Grandma Esther had already made her way to the fridge and had laid out the butter to soften.

  “What’s your favorite meal, Bryn? Let’s feed those babies something special.”

  And just like that, Jake lost control of the situation.

  • • •

  You need any help with those?” Seth sauntered up, pointing his beer bottle toward the steaks sizzling nicely on the grill.

  “I got it.” Jake lowered the lid on the large charcoal grill and turned toward his brother. “But I could use one of those.” He indicated the beer.

  Seth handed him the bottle from his other hand. Jake took a grateful swig. Beer he could handle, but anything harder . . . Memories and whiskey were a bad combination. He learned that the hard way after Cecelia. And if it hadn’t been for Seth, he might still be lost in a bottle. But his brother had sobered him up, pointed out that he h
ad a newborn baby who needed him, and that it was time to snap out of it. For that, Jake would be forever grateful.

  “You okay?” Seth asked.

  Jake nodded. “Yeah. Of course.” But was he? He looked over to where Bryn stood talking to Jessie and his mother. Grandma Esther was still inside putting the finishing touches on the cake while Wesley was hiding out in her playhouse.

  Bryn was glowing with the news. Or was it just a side effect of her pregnancy? He knew better. She seemed almost happy that she was having twins. Things didn’t seem to ruffle her. And he was ruffled. More than ruffled. Bryn, on the other hand . . . She patted her belly and laughed at something Jessie was saying.

  Jake worried about Jessie. He had known her since she was little and with a house full of boys, she became like a sister to them all. She had suffered a miscarriage not so long ago and had fallen into a deep depression afterward, almost leaving Cattle Creek and everyone behind. Jake worried how she would take the news. Like Jake and Bryn, Jessie and Seth’s pregnancy had been unplanned, but that didn’t make it any less important.

  “Twins,” Seth said with an incredulous shake of his head. “That’s pretty special.”

  “Bryn’s pretty special.” The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to call them back.

  Seth looked toward his wife and Bryn and gave a quick nod. “Yeah.”

  He could ask his brother what he meant by that, or he could change the subject. “How’s Jessie feeling?”

  “She’s good,” Seth said. “Healing.”

  “Have you heard from Chase?”

  He shook his head. “You?”

  “No. But he won’t stay mad long. He never does.” But Chase had been upset for months now, with no signs of change coming.

  “Jacob Dwight,” Grandma Esther called. “Quit that yakking and get those steaks up before they’re too done to eat.”

  Seth gave a shrug, and Jake went to pull the steaks from the grill.

  “Seth, get over here and help me bring the rest of the food out here.”

  “Yes, Grandma.”

  Grandma Esther enlisted everyone’s help, and by the time Jake got the steaks over to the large outdoor table, everyone was seated and ready to eat.

  “Let’s go tomorrow,” Jessie said, obviously continuing a conversation that had started before everyone sat down.

  “Go where?” Seth asked.

  “I asked Bryn to go shopping and to lunch.”

  “I need some more clothes, if I’m staying for a while.”

  She was staying?

  “If that’s okay.”

  “Of course it’s okay,” Evelyn said.

  “You can stay as long as you like,” his grandmother added.

  “Thank you.” Bryn shot them a sweet smile. “I seem to be gaining weight by the second.”

  “You look amazing,” Jessie said. “And it’ll be fun. I’ll show you the town.”

  “What are you going to do after that five minutes is up?” Seth quipped.

  Everyone laughed as Jake felt a pang of something he couldn’t name. Remorse, maybe. He should have offered to take Bryn into town. But she had a car. And she seemed fiercely independent. He hadn’t thought that she might want someone to go with her.

  He needed to be more attentive. Especially if he had any hope of getting her to stay longer. And he needed her to stay longer. For the babies, of course. And no more reason than that.

  • • •

  The car.”

  Jake spun around as she came up behind him. She hadn’t meant to take him by surprise, but she had to say something to him to let him know she was there. He was standing on the back patio, staring out at the ranch with Kota at his side. “What?”

  “Your lie,” she explained. “Remember?”

  Kota padded over, nudging his nose against her hand in a plea for attention.

  She gave the dog a quick scratch behind the ear as she waited for Jake’s answer.

  “Right. So, how’d you figure that out?”

  She smiled as Kota sat next to her as if guarding her. “Well, you have a five-year-old daughter and I’ve seen how you are with her. So I’m sure you get your toenails painted on a regular basis. I don’t know about the teacher. But I have a feeling your first car was a truck.”

  He chuckled. “I wanted a Firebird, but Dad said no way. I couldn’t make any money with a sports car. What about you?”

  “My first car was a Volkswagen Golf.”

  He made a face.

  “I agree.”

  “And you still drive one?”

  “Hey. That’s a Beetle, not a Golf.”

  “And that’s totally different.”

  “Of course it is. That is my dream car. I’ve wanted one for as long as I can remember.”

  He nodded. “What are you going to do when the babies come?”

  She hadn’t given that a great deal of thought. She had mulled over double cribs, double stroller, double everything, but she hadn’t thought about a small car, two babies, and two car seats. “I’ll just buy a new car.”

  “And give up your dream car?”

  “They’re a little more important, don’t you think?”

  “Of course.” For a moment there he looked like he was about to say something else, then he gave a small shake of his head. “Your turn.”

  “What?”

  “It’s your turn in our game.”

  So they were still playing. Or was he changing the subject? She couldn’t be sure. “Let’s see . . . I drank my first glass of Kool-Aid when I was in college, I always wanted to be on the cheer squad but never made it, and I would rather spend Saturday night reading romance novels instead of going to the movies.”

  “Romance novels?” Jake gave her a pained frown.

  “What’s wrong with romance novels?”

  “I dunno.” He shrugged. “Aren’t they sort of cheesy?”

  “Have you ever read one?”

  “I can’t say that I have.”

  “Then how can you pass judgment?”

  “Well, look at the covers. All that skin and kissing.”

  “What’s wrong with skin and kissing?” Wait, this conversation was not going according to plan.

  He took a step toward her, his expression unreadable. Maybe not. Maybe she didn’t want to examine his expression since it mirrored her own.

  “Nothing,” he whispered, though the words were almost snatched away on the cool night wind.

  “Jake, I—”

  “Jake I what?”

  But she didn’t have the answer for that. So she made something up. “I need to go inside.”

  “Why?” He took another step closer.

  “Because . . .” She sucked in a deep breath as he came closer still. “Because if I stay out here, I think you’ll end up kissing me.”

  “Probably.” The rough note in his voice made her heart skip a beat.

  “That’s a bad idea, Jake.”

  “I think it’s a good idea. Aren’t you here so we can get to know each other better?”

  She would not retreat. She would not retreat. “That didn’t include kissing.”

  “Why not? There’s obviously something between us and if it leads to something more, why is that a bad thing?”

  Because she couldn’t stay here. Because she wasn’t a part of his life. Because she lived in Georgia and a leopard couldn’t change her spots and she didn’t belong here. But she couldn’t say any of those things as he ran the back of his fingers across her cheek.

  She shivered and told herself it was the night breeze stirring the strands of her hair against her neck that caused the reaction, but it was him. All him.

  “Jake, I—”

  “We’ll never know if you don’t give us a chance, Bryn.”
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br />   “A chance,” she breathed. Was that really so much to ask? Not when he was so warm and solid. Not when he smelled so good and felt so steady beneath her fingers. Everything in her life had been turmoil for the last two years. Steady was incredibly appealing.

  He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. He gave her plenty of time to say no, to push him away, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. All she could do was slide her arms around his neck and hold on as he took their kiss to the next level.

  She was only vaguely aware of her stomach bumping into his as he pulled her closer. He must not have minded her extra girth. Or maybe it was just a good thing she wasn’t self-conscious of it. How could she be when she wanted these babies more than she wanted her next breath. They were the future, her future. Jake’s future.

  She felt an unfamiliar nudge at her knees and briefly registered that Kota was trying to step between them. It seemed the dog had more sense than she had.

  “Down boy,” Jake growled, his lips hovering a breath above hers.

  Kota released a small whine, but did his master’s bidding, leaving Jake to take over the kiss once again.

  They fit so perfectly together, she and Jake. Even with her altered shape it seemed as if they were two parts of a whole. His arms slid lower and gathered her closer still. She couldn’t get enough of his kiss. It was like water to a dying man, wine to an alcoholic, the nectar of the gods and a bunch of other pitiful metaphors that flitted through her mind and away again in the wake of his kiss. He filled her senses, filled her to the top. She was spilling over with something she couldn’t give a name to. Not yet anyway.

  She wanted to be closer to him, to spend the night in his arms. To never let him go. But she knew. This was the hormones talking. She had heard of pregnancy doing that, making normal women sex freaks. She had to keep that in mind. It wasn’t Jake. Even as luscious as he was. It was just the hormones, and she would do well to remember in the future.

  She was treading a fine line, but she couldn’t stop herself. Didn’t want to, really. How easy it would be to fall in love with Jake. Marry him. Spend the rest of her life pretending that they were the perfect family. They might even convince themselves for a while that everything was amazing, but she would always know the truth: he had married her because she was pregnant. And that just wasn’t right for anyone involved.