Healing a Heart

by Amy Lillard

  “First Seth and now Jake.”

  They were talking about the Langstons. How many Seths and Jakes could there be in a town the size of Cattle Creek?

  “Did you see her?”

  Bryn caught Jessie’s eye. Jess shook her head.

  “Well, at least we know she truly is pregnant.”

  “Right, unlike Miss McAllen, who managed to trap Seth and get him off the market.”

  “But Jake . . .” Bryn could almost hear the woman shake her head. “He was still grieving over poor Cecelia. He deserves so much better than that.”

  “That’s it,” Bryn mouthed to Jessie. She started down the aisle, set on rounding the corner and giving someone a piece of her mind.

  Jessie grabbed her arm. “They’re not worth it,” she said loud enough for half the store to hear. “Let’s go. We need to get back to the ranch. Seth will be home later, and I’m making tacos. He just loves when I make tacos. If you know what I mean.”

  “I don’t think I do,” Bryn muttered, but allowed Jessie to pull her toward the checkout counter. “Why do you put up with that?”

  But Jessie shook her head. “Outside.”

  Bryn paid for her package of boring beige granny panties just as a couple of women came into view. Bryn didn’t have to be told to know they were the gossips.

  But instead of charging after them, she took her change and together, she and Jessie headed for the door.

  “Who are they?” she asked once they were back out in the parking lot.

  “Sissy Callahan and Lindy Shoemake. They went to school with me and Chase.”

  “Why do they care about why you and Seth got married?”

  Jessie beeped the alarm on the Jeep and climbed inside. She waited for Bryn to hoist herself up before starting the truck. “Seth has been one of the most eligible bachelors in Cattle Creek for a long time.” She cranked the Jeep, then adjusted the air against the dry Texas heat.

  “But Jake was in the magazine.”

  Jessie grinned. “Yeah, I did that.”

  Bryn shook her head. “I’m confused.”

  “There’s nothing to be confused about. Sissy hates me from way back and Lindy was hoping to lure Seth down the aisle herself.”

  “So why do you let them talk about you that way?” She buckled her seat belt as Jessie reversed, then pulled out into the street.

  “That’s just small-town talk.”

  “But—”

  She shook her head. “They can talk about me all they want these days. I used to let it bother me, but I don’t anymore.”

  “What changed?”

  Jessie held up her left hand for Bryn to see. “I married him. I have the greatest husband in all of Cattle Creek. And I know he loves me. They can talk about me all they want and nothing will change that.”

  “Wait . . .” Bryn shifted in her seat to get a better view of Jessie. “That’s what’s on the water tower. ‘Seth loves Jessie’ and then a big heart.”

  Her grin widened. “He painted that the day I almost left town.”

  “Almost?”

  “Would you leave town if the man you loved painted the water tower for you?”

  Bryn shook her head. “No. I don’t think I would.”

  • • •

  Once again Jake was flying through the air. He landed on the ground with a hard thud. Dust flew up around him as Joe Dan chuckled.

  “I do believe you have lost your touch, my friend.” He reached out a hand to help Jake back to his feet.

  “Bull,” Jake muttered, but he was beginning to think the same thing. Except he knew better. He wasn’t losing it; he was distracted. By a curvy woman with a purple streak in her hair and a penchant for embroidered tops.

  He hadn’t been able to concentrate since Bryn left that morning. He’d lost count of the times he’d been thrown.

  He would never be as good as his mother or his brother Mav at calming horses, but he was better by far than he was showing today. Then again, he was going to have a serious talk with his mama about the string of ponies she’d brought back from Tyler. They were wild-eyed bucking creatures and not a one of them showed signs of strong breeding. She was usually so meticulous in her purchases that these five horses had him wondering what was distracting his mother. At least he knew what was taking up all his thoughts.

  A cloud of dust rose in the distance. Bryn! She was home!

  He shook his head as Jessie’s Jeep came into view. She might be back from town, but she had made it clear that the Diamond would never be her home.

  • • •

  Come walk with me.” They had no sooner got up from the supper table than Jake reached out a hand toward her.

  “I want to go too,” Wesley added, dancing up and down with excitement.

  Evelyn looked from her to Jake, then reached out a hand toward Wesley. “Why don’t you come help me in the kitchen? I have a special dessert for little girls who help with the dishes.”

  Did she know something Bryn didn’t?

  “I think I should stay and help clean up.”

  Jake shook his head. “Come walk with me,” he repeated.

  Bryn swallowed back her trepidation and followed him out of the house.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  He gave her another of those one-arm shrugs she had come to adore. “Nowhere special. I guess down to the creek.”

  “There’s a creek?”

  He chuckled. “Why do you suppose they call it Cattle Creek?” He whistled and Kota trotted up next to them. Even though Jake had called, the dog stayed close to Bryn’s side.

  “I don’t know.” She laughed. “Didn’t I read somewhere that Big Lake, Texas, has no lake?”

  “They have one sometimes.”

  “What about this creek of yours?” she asked.

  He held open the gate and allowed her and Kota to go in before shutting it behind them. “We have the creek all the time,” he said drily.

  Bryn stepped over a metal piece that looked like rotisserie bars planted in the ground. There wasn’t much space between them but enough that she treaded across them cautiously.

  “What’s that?” she asked, pointing to the metal in the ground.

  “It’s a cattle guard,” he said. “The cattle don’t like them so we put them up sometimes in place of a gate. That way they’ll stay inside.”

  “They don’t like them?” she asked.

  “They won’t walk across them. I think they’re afraid they might get their feet stuck in the spaces between, so they just don’t go across them at all.”

  “I’ve never heard such a thing.” She smiled in awe.

  “City girl.”

  Once the gate was shut, they started walking through the scruffy pasture. The land here was rugged. That was the only way to describe it, but it had a beauty all its own. There were a few cactuses and still there were wildflowers as if the desert and the lush green of the Hill Country couldn’t figure out which one belonged there more. Every so often Kota spied something of interest and went to investigate, but he always returned to Bryn’s side. She liked having a dog. Maybe she would get one when she got back home.

  Or maybe not. All too soon she would have more companionship than she could shake a stick at.

  “If that wasn’t true, I might take offense,” she said.

  “But it is true.”

  She nodded.

  “Did you have a good time in town today?”

  Bryn opened her mouth to tell him about the two girls in the Dollar General, but decided against it. “Yeah,” she said. “A real good time.”

  “You didn’t buy very much.”

  “I don’t need very much.” It was the truth. But he raised a dubious brow.

  She knew the difference between things and valuables. There
was one lesson losing Emery had taught her. Most things were just that . . . things. She didn’t want for much, and with smart purchases and good investments, she wouldn’t have to do much for the rest of her life. But that didn’t mean she was unappreciative of the things she had.

  “Are you saying I’m high maintenance?”

  “I’m not the one with purple in my hair.”

  She reached up and touched that lock or at least the general vicinity where she knew Rick placed it. “That was my hairdresser’s doing.” She let Rick have free rein with her hair. The purple had been meant to cheer her up. After all, purple was Emery’s favorite color. But a lock of hair didn’t bring her sister back.

  “Did you figure out the lie?”

  She hadn’t had very much time to think about it. “Well, I already know you’re not much of a cat person.”

  They walked along a small path with brush on either side. She could see the crop of trees up ahead and figured that they were close to the creek.

  “How do you know that?”

  She shot him a look.

  “Ah,” he said. “Wesley. I guess I’m not very good at this game.”

  “The lies have to be believable.” She chuckled. “But I think you lied in this one twice.”

  “Should I be offended by that?”

  “Did you mean it?”

  “Yes. I’ve never been to the movies by myself.”

  “No. About having girls.”

  Wasn’t it every man’s dream to have sons to carry on his name?

  “Yeah.” The one word was soft on the evening air. Bryn stumbled, but he caught her elbow and helped her straighten.

  “Careful,” he murmured.

  “I’m being careful. Just don’t drop bombshells like that.”

  “What’s wrong with wanting girls?”

  She studied him in the waning light. The sun wasn’t down yet, but it would be down soon. She had a feeling they might be walking back to the house in the dark. But she knew better than to be afraid. Not with Jake at her side.

  “You’re a good girl’s daddy, aren’t you?”

  They broke through the small growth of trees to a clear, flowing creek.

  “I don’t know about being a good girl’s daddy, but I like having a daughter. I enjoy her.”

  Bryn had seen it too many times to count, how he acted and reacted with Wesley.

  “So, no. I don’t mind if they are both girls. I’m sure my mother doesn’t either.”

  “After five boys, I can only imagine.” Bryn ran a protective hand down her belly, the action more instinctive than conscious. “I just want them healthy.”

  It seemed as if Emery’s name floated on the breeze around them, but neither one of them said it. Emery had meant everything to Bryn and she had lost her. These babies were a second chance, and they both knew it.

  “This creek,” he said, picking up a rock and tossing it into the water, “was one of the last good stops before getting into Mexico. Drovers brought the cattle here to water them.”

  “So this became Cattle Creek,” Bryn said.

  “You got it.”

  Bryn raised her arms overhead and stretched a bit, enjoying the coolness of the evening after the heat of the day. That was one thing about prairie-desert, it cooled off nicely in the evening. At least it did for her. Someone like Jake might not notice the big change, and as far as she knew he had lived here his whole life.

  “It’s so beautiful here,” she said.

  He looked around as if seeing the land he worked for the very first time. “Yeah,” he said. “It is.”

  Bryn looked at the clear creek, the wild vegetation growing on its banks, the few sparse trees and hardy scrub, the sky coming down and touching earth. “I wish I brought my sketchbook.”

  “You should’ve gotten one while you were in town today.”

  She shook her head with a smile. “No, I left it in my room. I never go anywhere without a sketchbook.”

  He shot her a funny look. She wasn’t sure if it was disbelief or wonderment. “Why? I mean, I guess you draw?”

  Yeah, you could say that. “I get inspiration from the world around me for my jewelry.” She shook her head. “Once Emery got sick, it became harder and harder to find that inspiration.” She gave a self-deprecating chuckle. “Okay, so it’s been nonexistent. I haven’t designed anything since she got sick. It was as if she was my muse, and everything about creativity was wrapped up in her. When she fell ill, it just went away.”

  “But you want to draw here.”

  Bryn looked around at the ruggedly beautiful, hardy landscape that was West Texas. “Yeah. I draw. But I haven’t designed anything. That part of me is still quiet.”

  “And what will you do if that part never comes back?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t let myself think about it. It’s bad enough not to have the desire, but to think about never doing it again . . . ?”

  “You design jewelry?”

  She held out one arm, showing off the cuff bracelet she wore. It was hammered silver and looked more like something off a knight’s armor than modern-day jewelry. Antiqued and soldered with intricate designs, it was a one-of-a-kind piece. And definitely showed the level of her craftsmanship.

  He took her arm in one hand and turned it side to side as if looking at the bracelet from all angles. “You made this?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s exquisite.” He glanced up, his gaze snagging hers. His green eyes were bottomless, unreadable. “Beautiful,” he murmured. But she had a feeling they were no longer talking about the bracelet.

  “Jake,” she whispered. The words to tell him to stop wouldn’t come.

  He used his hold on her to pull her forward. He was going to kiss her again. Why did it seem like every time they were alone, the kissing began? Or maybe this was a warning to not be alone again. She couldn’t keep this up with him. She was going home soon. And if she gave into him again, if she let him show her what loving him meant, she might just lose her heart to him. And that was one thing she couldn’t afford to give up.

  He leaned in, brushed his lips so softly across hers. Then he took a step back. “I, uh . . . wanted to tell you I took tomorrow off.”

  He couldn’t have surprised her more if he told her he was becoming a drag queen. “What?”

  “I took the day off.”

  “I didn’t think ranchers did that.”

  “Well, this is sort of a special occasion. Joe Dan can take care of things for a bit.”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  There went that one-shoulder shrug. “Wesley starts school day after tomorrow. You keep saying you’re leaving. I thought it would be a good opportunity to take some time and spend it with the two of you.”

  She shook her head.

  “Why not?”

  Because that was too much like family time, and that was one thing she couldn’t allow herself where he was concerned. They might be having a family get-together, but they would never be a family together. “You should spend that time with Wesley.”

  “I will. And with you. I thought we might go swimming.”

  “I don’t have a suit.”

  “Then swim in shorts or naked. I don’t care. Just spend the day with me tomorrow.”

  “Naked?” It was better by far to concentrate on that than him asking her to spend time with him, like he really wanted her to. Like there was more—could be more—between them than the babies they created.

  “Okay, maybe not naked.” His eyes darkened when he said the word. And she thought for a moment he might want to talk about it some more. But thankfully he dropped it. “But you don’t need your own suit. I know we have some in the mudroom. That is, if you don’t mind wearing a castoff.”

  It was her perfect opportunity to tell him no. T
o get out of this ridiculous plan to spend tomorrow together like a family. “Jake, I—”

  “Say yes,” he said. Then swooped in for another kiss. Unlike the first one, this one was filled with tangled tongues and heavy breathing. When he lifted his head, how could she say anything but yes?

  “Okay,” she breathed. “I’ll swim with you tomorrow.”

  He smiled, his teeth flashing in the last rays of the Texas sun. The sky she could see through the trees was painted purple and orange in hues like she had never seen before. All at once she wanted to capture that moment and keep it in a bottle, keep it so once she returned to Georgia she could pull it out whenever she missed him and have it to experience all over again.

  He brushed back a strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “Just one more thing,” he said. “Can I touch your belly?”

  She nearly laughed. Had it not been for the serious light in his eyes, she might have. She had shared so much with this man, at least physically. He had just kissed her till her head swam and her knees buckled, but he was reluctant to touch the spot where his children nestled inside of her.

  Without a word, she reached for his hand and pressed it to her abdomen.

  Chapter Ten

  Why couldn’t he remember doing this very same thing with Cecelia? He had to have at some point, or maybe they had been too busy being polite to one another that it hadn’t come up.

  “Can you feel them moving yet?” He wanted to just go on touching her forever. It was a strange feeling.

  She shook her head. “The book says that since I’m active I probably rock them to sleep. So they sleep all day and stay awake at night.”

  “So you’re telling me that you have spoiled them already?”

  She laughed, and he was certain his life would be good and complete if she just kept doing that. “I guess so. Though if that’s the case they’re probably kicking me all night long.”

  He moved his hands, trying to get a feel for where they were, trying to see if they would kick. He was filled with awe. He’d kept his distance as much as possible, doing his best to not think about babies. Especially not when he pulled her into his arms. But the longer she stayed, the more evident her pregnancy became, and the more he realized he couldn’t ignore it much longer.