The Impossible Story of Olive In Love

by Tonya Alexandra

  He must look odd, but the women in the room have already moved on, focusing again on Rose.

  Tom shuts the door behind us. ‘Wow. This is hard.’

  ‘You and Rose look so uncomfortable. You need to chill out and get cosier or they’re never going to buy it,’ I say, as Tom takes the opportunity to paw at me with my shirt off.

  ‘Okay, I will,’ he says, clearly distracted. ‘Thank god they love her.’

  Blah. Of course they do. I pull away from him. I know I should be happy but it kind of sucks. Everyone loves Rose, she’s perfect in-law material. Would his family like the real Olive? I doubt it.

  Tom watches me drop onto his bed. ‘I really should get back out there,’ he says, but he doesn’t move.

  ‘You’re not going to warm me up first?’ I say with a sly smile.

  Far too soon, Janelle is tapping at the door. ‘Are you okay, Tommy?’

  Tom jumps up, pulling on his shirt. ‘Yeah Mum. Just coming.’

  I watch him trying to flatten his hair in the mirror. This charade sucks. I feel like his mistress.

  ‘I’ll come in and check on you in a while.’ He looks at me for a moment with an expression of molten longing then shuts the door.

  Like I’m really going to stay in his room.

  Tom’s wardrobe doors are open so I rifle through his clothes. I tug on a work shirt lying on the ground and roll the sleeves up to my elbows. I feel marinated in his smell. It’s wonderful. I’ll be keeping this one.

  I open the door and peer out. Nobody is around. I tiptoe down the corridor. They’ve moved to the lounge room, watching the news on TV while Tom’s mum is finishing up dinner.

  My stomach squeezes in on itself when I see Tom with his arm around Rose as they sit on the couch. I told him to get cosier but Rose looks way too content and I have to say Tom doesn’t look too uncomfortable either. Sarah’s baby-thing waddles over, wiping its grimy fingers on Rose’s knees. I would totally have kicked the creature away but of course Rose bends over and takes it by the hands, jiggles it so it gurgles.

  ‘Hello Lolly. Aren’t you just the sweetest little poppet.’

  I hate goo-goo baby talk, but maybe Rose is referring to the kid as a witch’s poppet. Ha, as if.

  Sarah of course is smiling at Rose, giving Tom approving nods.

  ‘Do you want kids, Olive?’ she asks.

  ‘Of course.’

  More approving nods.

  ‘I guess you’ve got to be pretty keen on babies to be a midwife,’ Sarah says.

  What? They went with Rose’s identity, not mine? I guess nurse is a more acceptable profession than flaky column writer.

  ‘It must be so hard having two kids and working full time,’ Rose says, picking up the stupid kid and bouncing it on her lap.

  ‘Impossible,’ Sarah replies, leaning back to relax, now that good old ‘Olive’ has the kid under control. ‘Marnie has no idea.’

  Marnie scowls from her seat. There is a guy sitting next to her, his feet on her lap. It must be the notorious Alex. He has shown up while I was in Tom’s room. He doesn’t look that bad. Quite cute actually.

  ‘She’ll be fine,’ Jacqui says, defending her.

  ‘I’m just saying it’s hard. And I’ve got Martin helping me.’

  There is more scowling from Marnie but she doesn’t bother speaking. The line is obviously directed at Alex, but he’s completely ignoring the conversation. Understandably. He has good hair. Black and sticky. A massive scar under his eye. He looks interesting.

  ‘Martin is your husband?’ Rose asks.

  ‘Yes. He’s a musician. A very talented pianist. He usually takes Lolly and Racer, but when he tours, Mum helps out.’

  Lolly and Racer—is she serious? Parents can be so cruel.

  ‘Are you okay down there buddy?’ Tom asks and for the first time I see a kid about three or four or five—god I don’t know, they all look the same to me—sitting cross-legged on the floor, engrossed in an iPad.

  The kid ignores Tom, so Tom sits back and shrugs.

  ‘Here. Go to Uncle Tommy.’ Rose hands Tom the baby thing. He takes it like a professional. He’s done it before of course. The kid claws at his face, but he doesn’t look upset, instead he kisses its fists. They’re the real mum-and-dad deal, this Tom and Olive Version 2.

  ‘Are you sure your mum doesn’t need any help? I feel bad just sitting in here,’ Rose asks.

  ‘I suppose you’re a whizz in the kitchen too,’ Jacqui says. Unfortunately she is saying it in a nice way, not the horrible sarcastic way I want her to.

  ‘You would have to do all the cooking and stuff for your little sister I suppose,’ Sarah adds.

  Wow. They’ve covered everything haven’t they? Poor Olive having to look after her bratty little sister all alone. I want to throw a cushion at Rose for telling them so much.

  ‘She’s the best,’ Tom says, smiling at her. ‘The amount of stuff she has to deal with—you wouldn’t believe it.’

  He’s talking about me! It feels like the worst kind of betrayal. I storm out, slamming the door behind me, hard. Explain that, Tom fool.

  I sit at the head of the carefully set kitchen table; hands folded behind my head, feet up on the table, next to the empty white dinner plate. Tom almost faints when he walks in. His mouth drops into an ‘O’.

  I grin. But I’m far from happy.

  I know I’m supposed to want this to go well. I’m supposed to hope Tom’s family love Rose so much they stop hassling him. But seeing all this—how important family is to Tom—I’m beginning to feel the futility of it. There is no way he’d give this up for me. There’s no way he’d risk them becoming invisible to him.

  I’m so overwhelmed by how sad this makes me, my natural instinct is to cause trouble.

  ‘I’ll sit there, Paul,’ Tom insists when his mother tells everyone to take a seat.

  ‘Tom,’ his mum warns. ‘Paul is the man of the house now, he can sit at the head of the table.’

  Tom is trying to think of something to say as Paul pulls at the chair I’m sitting on.

  ‘What’s this?’ Paul mutters, pulling the chair harder. I slip off and duck under the table. With my weight gone the chair flings clear out of his hand and across the room.

  ‘Paul!’ Janelle admonishes him.

  ‘Sorry,’ he says, scampering to gather it up.

  Tom sits down and starts sweeping his leg around under the table to find me. I twist away. Then suddenly I’m surrounded by legs on all sides. A prisoner in a cage of calves and shoes.

  ‘Roast lamb, yum!’ Rose declares from above.

  ‘Next time bring your sister,’ Janelle says. ‘It’s terrible, the two of you not having any family.’

  I want to vomit. How dare she insult our family. Our family is two—and that’s just fine.

  ‘That’s very kind of you,’ Rose answers. I can tell she doesn’t like the comment either.

  ‘So how did you guys meet?’ Jacqui asks.

  ‘At a club,’ Tom answers. At least that’s the truth.

  ‘Come on, we want more details than that!’ Jacqui complains.

  ‘I don’t know. Olive was dancing and I couldn’t stop staring at her. She was so beautiful.’ There are romantic ‘oohs’ and ‘aaahs’ from around the table. Even I like it. I kiss Tom’s knee. He parts his legs, so I can sit safely in between them. He’s worried I’m going to get caught. I lean back into him, my head on his thigh, and he puts his hand under the table to stroke my hair.

  ‘She kept running away from me. Wouldn’t talk to me or let me buy her a drink or anything. I had to chase her down. She still said no.’ I can hear the smile in his voice. It sends a shiver of glee through me.

  ‘So how did you get together then?’ Sarah asks.

  ‘We ran into each other at the beach and took it from there.’

  ‘Preferred him with his clothes off did you love?’ Paul puts in.

  I know Rose would be blushing like crazy at this. Poor thing, they’r
e all waiting for a response.

  ‘No, I … Well, he is very handsome.’ She sounds completely mortified and they all laugh at her.

  There is mundane conversation about some dull party that the grand-kiddies went to and Janelle is trying to include Alex by talking about the exciting new baby products on the market these days. Of course he is as bored as I am and simply grunts in reply while everyone else fills the awkward silences for him.

  I feel for the dude. His legs are opposite me and my foot accidentally bumps against his leather boot. It doesn’t move. It’s a nice boot. I feel an irresistible urge to cause trouble. I run my toe across it gently. Again, it doesn’t move. Maybe it’s a hard outer shell and he doesn’t feel a thing. I inch higher up, stroking his ankle. Still nothing. Boring.

  I’m getting pins and needles bent over like this. I wish they’d hurry up.

  Again, the conversation turns back to Tom and Olive Version 2. ‘You took Tom to SkarNutter, didn’t you Olive?’ Jacqui says. ‘That would have been awesome.’

  ‘It was,’ Rose replies. ‘Tom helped me to appreciate them. I wasn’t such a fan before.’

  ‘I read about that gig,’ Marnie says. ‘That Wynona Wyatt went. Did you see her?’

  ‘You’re not reading that rubbish are you Marnie?’ Sarah says.

  ‘Gossipy trash,’ Janelle agrees. ‘I would expect daughters of mine to be reading something with a bit more intelligence.’

  I grind my teeth. Yes, I’m aware my work is not highbrow, but I’ve cracked more scams and scandals than award-winning journalists. Give me some credit. Tom pats me with more strength, he’s probably trying to subdue me. It’s not working.

  ‘I like her,’ Tom says.

  ‘You would,’ says Sarah. ‘You’re a sucker for damaged goods. I bet Olive doesn’t like Wynona, do you Olive?’

  Rose’s hands are clenched together tightly under the table. ‘She’s okay,’ she says finally.

  ‘You actually look a bit like her,’ Marnie says.

  ‘May I be excused?’ Rose says, pushing her chair back.

  ‘Of course sweetie,’ Janelle says.

  Poor Rose. I would have run from this hell house hours ago if I were her. We owe her big time.

  After she leaves Janelle starts lecturing them on not making Rose feel uncomfortable. She is apparently ‘the best thing that has ever happened to Tom’. Ha!

  I take advantage of Rose’s pushed-back chair and commando crawl out of there. I stand up and stroll to the kitchen counter, stretching out my limbs as I do. There is a leg of lamb stripped to the bone in a white baking dish, a few stray vegetables swimming in the meat gravy. I begin to pop peas in my mouth. Tom watches me, incredulous. I blow him a kiss.

  The table splits up into two or three conversations. I watch Alex lean across the table to Tom. ‘Dude,’ he says quietly. ‘I think your girl is coming on to me.’

  ‘What?’ Tom says, way too loud. They have the attention of the whole table now.

  Alex is defending himself. ‘She was totally feeling me up under the table. Rubbing her foot up and down my leg.’

  ‘Olive would never do that!’ Sarah says.

  Tom has his eyes closed in that holy hell, Olive is getting me in trouble again way, and I feel for him. Really I do. Why did I do it? Boredom, that’s all.

  ‘I’d never do what?’ Rose says, coming back through the door.

  ‘Nothing,’ says Tom.

  They are all quiet. I pull myself up so I’m sitting on the kitchen bench and lean back against the window. I feel bad about what I did, but it’s pretty interesting watching this all play out. I pop a piece of roast potato in my mouth. It’s delicious.

  Marnie throws Rose a death stare while everyone else pretends to concentrate on their almost empty plates. Rose is looking around the table, mystified.

  Alex’s mouth is twisting in anger at being so easily dismissed by Sarah and Tom. ‘You were playing footsie with me under the table,’ he says finally to Rose.

  ‘I did nothing of the sort!’ Rose replies in horror.

  ‘I told you.’ Sarah folds her arms across her chest in satisfaction. She’s really getting on my nerves, that sister, she’s so sanctimonious. Oldest and married, working and with children, like it makes her the authority on everything.

  ‘Then who was it?’ Alex looks around the table. ‘I guess it must have been Janelle or maybe Paul?’

  I see the penny drop with Rose. She knows I’m in the room. She shakes her head, takes a breath and says quietly, ‘It could have been me.’

  Alex looks victorious. ‘I told you!’

  ‘I thought it was Tom’s foot,’ Rose lies. ‘I can’t help, you know … he’s hot.’ The word sticks in her mouth like gluey oatmeal.

  ‘I don’t believe you.’ Alex levels with her. ‘I don’t believe you and Tom at all. He’s certainly not into you and if you’re fondling me under the table you’re obviously open to other options.’

  ‘Alex! Please!’ Janelle gasps.

  ‘Come on! You remember him with Tamara? All over each other. Always. Couldn’t keep their hands off.’

  That makes me awfully mad. But my attention switches to Tom. He’s swivelled Rose toward him so they are face to face.

  ‘Don’t listen to Alex,’ he says to her. ‘I am totally into you.’ And then he leans in and kisses her.

  It’s a small kiss but it’s certainly no peck. And I feel it so bad, it crushes me. I slam my fist against the window; it shudders but doesn’t break. Everyone spins toward the kitchen, everyone except Tom and Rose. They know what it was.

  ‘Probably a bird,’ Paul guesses. ‘It will be feeling that.’

  ‘It should have thought about what it was doing,’ Tom says, glaring at me.

  Rose looks miserable. Her head is ducked in shame.

  ‘I still don’t believe you two,’ Alex mutters.

  ‘I don’t care what you believe!’ Rose shouts, pushing her chair back from the table. ‘Take me home, Tom.’ And then, because she can’t help herself, ‘Thank you for a lovely meal Janelle, Paul.’ She nods her head to them and storms out the front door. If only I had half her class.

  Tom stands to follow her. ‘Get out,’ he mouths at me, his jaw clenched.

  I do as I’m told and slip to the floor. Hell. I’m in trouble.

  CHAPTER

  25

  It’s obvious to me now that I’m not good enough for Tom. There is no way he’d choose me over his family. I’m starting to wonder if I’m good enough for Rose either—but she’s my sister, we’re stuck with each other. I try to apologise to her when we get into the car but she cuts me off.

  ‘Don’t speak to me,’ she says, and there is complete silence for the rest of the ride home.

  Tom keeps changing the radio station while Rose shifts her legs under me as if she wishes she could shove me off. She opens the car door before we come to a complete stop on our street.

  ‘Hey Rose,’ Tom says, ‘I’m sorry how it went down, you know, the kiss and everything …’

  ‘Don’t worry about the kiss,’ Rose says, pushing me off her and getting out. ‘It was great.’ She ducks her head back into the car and says with satisfaction, ‘You can kiss me anytime. I’m just here to be used!’

  That makes me annoyed. It was never meant to be that way, and she knows it.

  ‘Is she serious?’ I say, rearranging myself in the passenger seat.

  ‘Deplorably,’ Tom says, looking straight ahead. His hands are still on the steering wheel. It’s not a good sign.

  ‘Enough with the second-hand gags,’ I say.

  He regards me for a minute then observes, ‘You’re acting pretty cool for someone who totally stuffed up the night.’

  ‘It was just a bit of fun,’ I reply. ‘I was bored.’

  He almost chokes on his laugh of disbelief. ‘You think it was fun for Marnie? For Rose? For me?’ He shakes his head. ‘It was totally humiliating!’ He runs his fingers through his hair like he always does
when he’s frustrated. ‘I’m just glad Alex is enough of an asshole to bring it up in front of everyone, otherwise they’d all have been talking about it behind my back for weeks—my sleazy girlfriend putting the moves on the father of my sister’s baby.’

  ‘I touched his leg!’

  ‘It’s enough!’

  He is scowling at me and I’m sure my face isn’t looking too pleased either. I try and calm down. ‘Yeah well, it was a pretty hellish night having to watch you and Rose all cuddled up on the couch.’

  ‘You told me to!’

  ‘And kissing?’ My voice squeals up an octave. ‘Did I tell you to do that?’

  ‘I was trying to cover up your screw-up!’ he objects. ‘I needed to do something.’

  ‘And all the crap about how aammmaazzzinggg Rose is. How she loves babies and is incredible in the kitchen working so hard for her pathetic little sister. You totally used her life not mine. She wasn’t being Olive, it was a hundred per cent Rose.’

  ‘We thought it would be easier!’

  ‘Oh no, you thought a goody-two-shoes nurse would be far more acceptable to your family than a trashy gossip queen.’

  ‘That’s not true.’

  ‘But it is true—Sarah and your mum said it, I heard them myself.’

  He sits back against the car door, energy depleted. ‘They would accept you once they knew you.’

  ‘Accept me.’ My eyes roll to the ceiling. ‘Whereas they “love” Rose. She’s “the best thing that’s ever happened to you”.’

  ‘They don’t know what’s good for me. I decide that for myself.’

  ‘Yeah—damaged goods, right?’ I snort. ‘It sounds pretty spot on. I’m a charity case. Don’t think I didn’t hear you earlier today with Rose. I’m “hard work”.’

  ‘What you are is selfish,’ Tom says with unexpected force. ‘It’s like you wanted to screw up the night—even though you knew it was important to me. You prance around like you’re begging to be caught. Spying on us, getting under the table, punching the window. Jesus, taking your top off …’

  ‘You had a problem with that?’ This is unbelievable. He didn’t seem to have a problem with it in his bedroom.