Strange Addiction

by Alexis Nicole

  It took me a few more minutes, but finally, I got out of the car. I gave Donovan a hard glare before I made my way to Leslie’s door. I looked back at the car to see Donovan motioning for me to knock on the door. I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Within a couple of moments, she answered the door.

  With a smile, she invited me in. “I’m glad you came back,” she said.

  “Listen, I’m sorry about running out the other day.”

  “Oh, don’t apologize. Sometimes therapy just takes time with some people. And who’s to say that’s not part of therapy.”

  I frowned.

  “Whatever your process, Heiress, I’m just here to help you. So I’m glad you’re back.”

  Once again, I followed her down the hall to her office. I sat in the exact same spot, and when she took her seat, the same uncomfortable feelings began rising up in me again.

  “Like I said a couple of days ago, let’s take this slow. So where are you from, Heiress?”

  “Ohio, a small town in Ohio.”

  “So how did you end up here in California?”

  “I came out here for college, and then I stayed to start my career.”

  “And what do you do?” She put her hand under her chin, as if she was focusing on my answers and was really interested.

  “I had planned on becoming a journalist.”

  Leslie jotted a note on her pad, but still she spoke. “Planned?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Did you do something else?”

  It was her calmness and her sincerity that made me open up. “I met a man, and he didn’t want me to work anymore.”

  Her eyebrows rose just a little. “You want to tell me more about that?”

  I didn’t know what came over me, but I was like a running faucet. I began to tell her all about King and how we met and the happy times that we had.

  “Sounds like you really love him.”

  “I do, but our relationship hasn’t turned out like the fairy tale I imagined it would be.”

  Flashes of the past few weeks popped into my head, and sadness once again washed over me.

  “What did it turn out to be?”

  “A bad dream, especially recently.” I looked down at my feet, debating how much I wanted to tell her today. “I’m at a point now where I’m really trying to figure out if my life is completely screwed up.”

  “I doubt that. No matter what a person is going through, there is redemption.”

  I shrugged.

  “Do you have a support system? Family or friends here in California? Besides King?”

  The first image that popped into my mind was of the man sitting outside right now. The reason that I was even here.

  “Yes, I have a friend, Donovan.”

  “That’s right. The young man who called me.”

  I nodded again.

  “He told me that you guys have been friends for a long time.”

  “Yeah, we grew up together.”

  “Does he know what’s going on with you?”

  “He does.”

  “And how does he feel about the situation?” She was still jotting notes on her pad.

  “He thinks I need to leave California and go spend some time with my parents. He thinks that will help me regroup.”

  “Are you close with your parents?”

  “Yes.” I paused for a second to think about the last time I’d talked to them. “At least I used to be, but not so much lately. But we really are close.”

  She was quiet as she wrote more notes, and I wanted to ask her what was she writing. Finally, she put her pad and pen down. Looking at me, she said, “I think you should go.”

  I tilted my head, wondering why she thought that.

  She explained, “It would be good for you to go home and reconnect with your family. It may help you answer some of the questions you’ve been asking yourself.”

  It was interesting to me that two people now were telling me to go home.

  “Why don’t we stop right here, Heiress? I think that’s enough for today.”

  “Really?”

  She smiled. “Uh-huh. See, that wasn’t so bad, now was it?”

  I shook my head.

  “Plus, I want to make sure that you come back.”

  I wasn’t sure if she was kidding about that or not, but I told her that I would call her.

  When I left Leslie’s office and bounced to Donovan’s car, he gave me a look as if he wasn’t sure if I was going to scream at him or not. But I reached over and hugged him.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “So it was good?”

  “Very.”

  “Great. So let’s go celebrate.”

  Over lunch I told Donovan about Leslie’s remark that I should go back to Ohio.

  “What do you think about that?”

  “Well, that’s what you said. And now Leslie.” I nodded. “I’m going to do it. I’m going to go back to Ohio.”

  Just saying those words made me excited. Planning on leaving made me feel like I had room to breathe again.

  Maybe that was what going home was all about—breathing.

  Chapter 28

  It was time for me to go back to Malibu and pack my stuff. I had been at Donovan’s for almost a week, and I had only the outfit I showed up in and a few pairs of jeans he bought me when he went out to handle business at his store.

  I decided not to have Donovan drive me back, because the last thing I needed in my life was a scene. So I didn’t tell him what I was going to do. I waited until he went to the store, called a cab, and then tried to calm my nerves. The ride back home gave me an opportunity to categorize in my head everything I needed to pack so that I could move quickly and avoid King.

  When we pulled up to the house and I saw King’s car in the driveway, I almost asked the driver to take me back. But I couldn’t avoid this. I paid the cabby, then made a beeline for the door and hurried up the stairs to our bedroom. I breathed. King was nowhere in sight. Would it be possible for me to get in and out without him even knowing that I’d been here?

  I dragged my suitcases out of the back of my closet, then began pulling out clothes. But I was there for only about five minutes before King barged into the bedroom.

  “Baby, you’re back.” He hugged me tight, like I had just come back from war.

  I pushed him away from me and, without a word, went right back to packing.

  “Baby, I am sorry about everything. I don’t know what came over me.”

  For a moment, I stopped moving and debated in my mind if I should say something. But I decided against it. I needed to be in and out of here quickly, and a conversation would only slow me down. Especially a conversation that wouldn’t matter.

  “Baby, I know I messed up, and I know that lately I haven’t been the man that I promised you I would be, but I love you.”

  I couldn’t help it. I had to answer now. “Do you really, King?”

  “Yes, of course I do. You mean everything to me, and not having you by my side . . . it’s torture for me.”

  His words delighted me and pissed me off at the same time. King had tortured me, and so just thinking that he was experiencing even half of what I’d gone through pleased me.

  “I guess you know how it feels now.” By the look on his face, I could tell that my statement had hit him. I pushed past him to go into the bathroom to grab my toiletries.

  “Baby, not knowing where you were and not being able to talk to you scared me, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything,” he said, following me.

  I walked past him again, back into the bedroom, tossing the toiletries into one of the suitcases.

  “Heiress, please talk to me.”

  I had never heard such desperation in his voice. I gathered my thoughts and prepared what I had to say. If he wanted me to talk, I hoped he was ready to listen.

  “I don’t think you get it, King,” I said softly. “You think the last couple of days were hard for you? For almost two yea
rs I have sacrificed everything for you, and you walked—no, you stomped—over me. And now I’m just tired, King.” I searched his face to see if he understood where I was coming from. When he didn’t respond, I continued packing.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going back to Ohio. I need to spend some time at home for a while.” I closed my suitcases and zipped them up.

  “Baby, wait.” King stopped me in my tracks and got down on one knee. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was he really about to do this?

  “What are you doing?” I asked, half out of shock, and half out of annoyance.

  “Heiress, I know this relationship has been a roller coaster.” He grabbed my hand. “It hasn’t been easy putting up with me, and you have stuck by my side through it all.” From his pants pocket, he pulled out a ring, and my heart dropped to my stomach. “These past few days I’ve realized that living without you is nothing I ever want to experience again.” He held the ring up for me to really see it. It was a two-and-a-half-carat cushion-cut diamond ring. So beautiful.

  He slipped the ring on my finger. “I’m asking you to do me the honor and stick around a little longer. I’m promising you that I’ll make up for everything that I’ve done to you. I’ll be the man you fell in love with, and I’ll give you the fairy-tale ending you deserve.”

  A tear fell down the right side of his face, and it sent a chill through my body. With the tip of my finger, I wiped the tear from his face and held my hand to his cheek. I looked deep into his eyes. Right then I saw the man I’d fallen in love with such a long time ago.

  “What do you say, Heiress? Will you marry me?”

  I had no words. This was what I’d wanted. For the last year and a half this was all I’d wanted from King. I’d wanted him to love the life he had with me. I’d wanted him to cherish me the way I cherished him.

  “We have a lot of issues we need to work out, King,” I finally said.

  “I know,” he said. His voice was full of hope. “And I promise that we will. We’ll work on everything.”

  I looked down at the gorgeous ring that he had slipped on my finger. I was mesmerized by its size, by its beauty.

  My eyes darted back and forth between the ring and King. The ring and King.

  Could I trust him? Should I trust him? Was King sincere? Was he going to be true to his word?

  I wondered if I really did love him or if I even wanted this to work.

  “I’m not sure if I’m prepared to give you an answer,” I finally said.

  He stood up with shock on his face. “What was that?”

  I glanced at the ring one more time. “I really need time to think about what I want out of life.”

  I slipped the ring off my finger and handed it back to him. He stood there, looking at me like he couldn’t comprehend what I was saying. It was the first time that I truly considered whether he was what I wanted. I wasn’t sure about this life anymore, and I could tell it was throwing him.

  “But I love you, Heiress,” he said as he tried to hold me in his arms. I moved back, not really wanting this contact. “I love you. I love you. I love you!”

  “I hear it, and I understand it. I just wish I could believe it.”

  “You don’t believe that I love you?” He sounded hurt that I would even insinuate that.

  “At this point, King, no, I don’t.” I shocked myself with that statement. “Listen, we obviously need some time apart. I’m going to be with my family, and you can do whatever it is you want.” I walked past him and grabbed my suitcases. I didn’t look back to see the man that I had given my life to for the past year and a half. At that point all that mattered was me. As I walked out of the room and down the stairs, I could feel his eyes on me the whole time. I took a deep breath and said a small prayer that I had just made the right decision.

  Chapter 29

  The flight back to Ohio seemed extremely long. I was excited that I was going to see my parents, but nervous that they were going to grill me about King. I had no idea how it was going to go.

  My parents were so traditional, and everything I’d done with King was just the opposite. I knew I was in for a long lecture, but at least I was going home with a little peace of mind. I had given King all of me, and I was exhausted. Being away from him felt good, but a piece of me sort of missed him.

  When I finally landed, I held my breath, as if this moment was the most important one of my life. I didn’t know why I was so anxious to see my folks. My parents were waiting in the baggage claim, and when I first saw them, I forgot all about my fears. My father, the first man that I’d ever loved, looked just like I remembered. His salt-and-pepper hair complimented his mocha skin, and since he was over six feet tall, he always stood out. My mother had her hair back in a neat bun, her khakis and sweater shirt fitted her petite frame to a tee, and the little bit of makeup she wore was applied perfectly.

  “Oh, my baby is home,” my mother gasped as I ran up to them and leaped into both of their arms. They held me like they never planned to let me go, and the feeling was mutual, because I wanted to stay in their arms.

  “Welcome home, princess. We missed you,” my father whispered in my ear.

  “I missed you too, Daddy.” I kissed both of them on the cheek and finally released them from my grasp. I stepped back to take a good look at them. I really had missed being with my parents, and I cherished every bit of this reunion.

  I took my father’s hand. “You guys have no idea how good it is to be home.”

  My father smiled and kissed the back of my hand. “You have no idea how good it is to have you back.”

  “We would’ve rather had you sooner than later, but I guess something is better than nothing,” my mother interjected with all her sarcasm. All I could do was smile. It had been way too long since I’d seen them, so I guessed I deserved that.

  We got my bags and made our way to the car. The car ride was a little awkward. My parents wasted no time in grilling me about my relationship, or lack thereof, with King. It felt like they were trying to ask me every question imaginable. I knew I hadn’t given them much information about him or our relationship the whole time I was with him, but I wished they could’ve at least waited until we got home. Better to get it out of the way, I guess.

  My mom started the conversation. “We’re surprised you didn’t bring your boyfriend with you. What’s his name again?” I smirked at that question. My mother really thought she was slick.

  “You know his name, Mother. And like I told you over the phone, we are no longer together.”

  “Oh, I do remember you saying something to that effect.”

  “Uh-huh, I’m sure you do.” I chuckled a little. Where did this cruel sense of humor of hers come from?

  “Who made the decision to walk away?” my father interjected before my mother could make another sarcastic remark.

  “I did. Things weren’t working, so we needed to go our separate ways.” Those were all the details I was giving them. I didn’t want to have to relive the last couple of months, especially not with my parents.

  “You’ve always been a smart girl, princess.”

  “Thank you, Daddy.” I wondered how smart I really was. I had nothing at the moment. No man, no child, no career, and at this point I didn’t even know if I had myself. I just wanted to feel normal again.

  We rode the rest of the way in silence, with only the sound of the car radio playing soft jazz from my father’s favorite station.

  I was grateful for the silence. It gave me a chance to reminisce as I looked out the window at all my old neighborhood spots. I broke into a smile when my father turned onto Washington Boulevard. “Aw, there’s my elementary school,” I blurted out. Then I recognized all the places where my friends and I had hung out after school. Just this ride made me feel better. It made me glad to be home.

  When we finally pulled into the driveway, I couldn’t believe how different my childhood home looked. “Daddy, you’ve been busy,” I said, noting
all the improvements he’d made, from the fresh coat of blue paint to the shingles on the roof.

  “Oh, just a few tweaks here and there,” my father said, waving my words away like none of it was a big deal.

  While my father got my bags from the trunk, I rushed behind my mom, eager to see what they’d done with the inside of our house. Like I suspected, the inside looked as new as the outside. My parents had remodeled just about everything: the kitchen had all new stainless-steel appliances, the living room had a brand-new micro-suede couch, and I was stunned to see the forty-two-inch TV hanging on the wall. I couldn’t wait to see what they’d done in the bedrooms. When I followed my mother upstairs to my bedroom, I was delighted to see that they had painted the walls a bright peach, they’d bought me a new television—though it wasn’t as nice as the one in the living room—and they’d traded my twin bed up for a queen size.

  “Mom, it’s gorgeous,” I said as I sat and bounced on the bed.

  “You know your father. Once he started redoing the outside of the house, he had to come inside. And then he had to do every room.” She shook her head like she was exasperated, but I knew she was as happy as I was. This felt like a brand-new home.

  “So this is your room.”

  I looked up when I heard my dad’s voice, and smiled. He dropped my bags by the door and then took a look around the room, admiring his work.

  “How you like the room, baby girl?”

  “It’s perfect, Daddy.”

  I took a little tour around the room, studying all my awards, which my parents had left hanging on the walls. I stopped when I got to the scholarship letter I received from college, which my parents had been adamant about framing when it came in the mail. Besides my birth and my graduations, receiving that letter was one of the proudest moments for them as parents.

  “I remember the day you came running in the house, screaming about that letter,” my father said as I continued to stare at it. “Your mother and I were so proud.”

  I did my best to hold back tears. “I was proud of myself.”