A Million Versions of Right
Page 23
“Yeah? Well explain this!” Penny snatched the bookmark from Amanda’s hands and waved it in front of Vincent’s nose.
Vincent dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “I don’t got time for this shit right now. Why don’t you girls run along?”
Penny pushed past Vincent in a huff, dragging Amanda behind.
“Hey bitch! Get outta my house!”
“We’ll get out when you give Amanda a replacement!”
“I ain’t giving anyone shit!”
Penny stormed over to Vincent’s rather stark bookcase and pulled out a book about pens. She slammed the book and bookmark down on the kitchen counter.
“There, try it for yourself! Your shit doesn’t work!”
Vincent eyed the two ladies suspiciously. What are they trying to pull? He thought. Tentatively he picked up the book and flicked to a random page.
“Remember to pay attention to the page number,” yelled Penny.
“Alright, alright. I’m not an idiot.”
Vincent placed the book mark at roughly the half way point, paying attention to the page numbers; 340 - 341. He let it sit for a while before opening it again at the marked page. He couldn’t believe what he saw. He had been thrown back to page 22 - 23…
The history of the bookmark is an admittedly complex one. Although the perfect design hasn’t yet been achieved, developments continue to occur at a remarkable pace. The price continues to plummet and more families are able to utilise one. Government initiatives have been created to ensure lower income families are given the chance to own one. It can only be assumed that in the next five years, bookmarks will achieve the ubiquity they so deeply deserve.
It’s important to recognise the sacrifices that were an unfortunate by-product on the road to the bookmark. From the early days of Bookbirds to the serendipitous discovery by Doodlewanky, the road has been plagued with difficulty. Maybe now, as the bookmark moves ever closer toward perfection, we can appreciate exactly how we got here.
* * * * *
…“What is this shit?” Vincent asked in amazement.
“What did we fucking tell you?” Penny retorted. “Now go get a replacement for Amanda here and prove to us that it works before we leave.”
Vincent was deeply disturbed. He had never sold bad gear before and it sickened him. His eyes darted around the room wildly, as if searching for an easy solution.
“Well?” asked the increasingly impatient Penny.
“Sorry, no refunds,” screamed Vincent before diving dramatically from his first storey window. He died upon impact.
Amanda slumped forward and with tear varnished eyes said, “I just want to read a book and finally reach the end.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Matthew Revert is absurdity’s whore. His writing explores the lack of sense in all things and plays with the notion that nothing is ultimately wrong or right. He is most comfortable in the gutter and sees profound things in filthy places.
His first book A Million Versions of Right was published by LegumeMan Books in 2009.
He is currently hard at work on his second and third: The Tumours Made Me Interesting and Stealing Fred Savage.
He can be contacted here:matthewrevert@hotmail.com
LEGUMEMAN BOOKS
www.legumeman.com
Extreme and/or Unusual Fiction for
Extreme and/or Unusual People
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Table of Contents
A MILLION VERSIONS OF RIGHT
THE BRICOLAGE SCROTUM
THE GREAT HEADPHONE WANK
MEETING MAX
POWER BLINK
THE BOOKMARK THAT WOULDN'T WORK