Love and Decay (Season 1): Episodes 1-6

by Higginson, Rachel

  It was eerie to be in a place like this. Somehow this farm had remained untouched by looters and Zombies alike. It seemed frozen in time, just waiting for the mystery owner to return and pick up where he left off. I imagined everything remained exactly where the farmer left it at the end of his last day of work.

  Nelson picked up a large metal can off the ground struggling with its weight as if he were surprised by it. I heard liquid slosh around inside; my ears instantly perked up.

  “Gas?” I asked in a quiet voice, still not entirely trusting the barn.

  Nelson opened the lid and took a whiff, “Yep. This is a good find.”

  “Definitely,” I agreed. Then we continued in our separate directions.

  I wandered around the outskirts of the barn, picking up random tools, wondering if they could be used for anything. I made a pile of the ones I recognized on a workbench and decided to let the boys pick through the rest.

  After a while I slipped off my backpack and set my gun to safety. I hadn’t heard any shots fired from outside and no scuffling of feet or heavy breathing from inside the barn; yes, those were my intruder-alert indicators.

  Nelson worked quietly from the other side of the barn, but his presence felt invading, even from over here. Had he really meant what he said about me? How could he possibly even know that he would want me when he barely knew me?

  None of this made sense to me.

  The Parker brothers were good allies to have when fighting off Feeders. But they were too intense for my love life.

  I wanted something light and easy, something I didn’t have to put a whole lot of effort into. This had been my thing my whole life. And I was happy with it.

  In fact, the only thing I’d ever really tried at had been surviving. And even though I was doing alright at that, I didn’t feel like the results were conclusive enough yet for me to want to translate those efforts into other parts of my life.

  If Nelson wanted something with me, he was going to get the flaky, lacking-substance Haley. I would save the real me for a different time, a different less-Zombie-ish place.

  One where there wasn’t a real fear of falling in love just to lose that love by a well-placed Feeder bite.

  At the back of the barn, I peeked into the apartment-ish room and let out a breath of relief. There wasn’t anyone in here, no one hiding out in fear that we were looters, or no one that I would anticipate would capture and then enslave us. Light filtered in from two windows, revealing a private apartment that seemed cozy and comfortable.

  A musty single bed lay out against the back wall, with a small but practical night stand next to it. A tall dresser stood on the adjacent wall with a few dusty knickknacks scattered on top. A counter stretched along one side with a hotplate, toaster oven and small sink. A dorm-sized refrigerator nestled underneath humming and buzzing with life. And there was a bowl, a plate and a coffee cup stacked on a dish towel above it. A tiny bathroom, almost hidden in the corner, was all that was left to make up the room.

  My eyes zoomed back to the purring refrigerator. It was on. There was electricity!

  Without pausing to think anything through I ran back to my pack, yanked out my iPod and charger and barreled back into the apartment. I tore through the room until I found an available outlet and immediately plugged it all in.

  I stared at it impatiently until the red bar and battery appeared. It would still take a moment to turn on, but this was a very good sign.

  Finally the glorious thing made a bell noise and light flashed from the screen! Success! I let out an embarrassingly girly scream, but I couldn’t help it.

  I hadn’t heard music in eight and a half months. The last time had been when Reagan and I had found a settlement that had working generators. I’d been able to discretely charge it there. I hadn’t listened to it until we left, too afraid to reveal my treasure to other prying eyes. For the entire next day, Reagan and I anticipated listening to beautiful sound and that night, shut away in a walk-in freezer in the back of an old Applebee’s, we’d shared ear buds and danced around each other in the dark.

  It was fantastic.

  And now, I would get to do that again!

  As soon as the iPod app popped up I was all over it, swiping my finger with expert skill and blasting my music through the fuzzy speakers. As soon as I heard sound I turned around, dancing and generally acting like a crazy person.

  But this was bliss to me- pure, dazzling, uninhibited utopia. My heartbeat instantly kicked up a notch and my blood tingled with delight. My ears felt soothed after so many months of silence and my mind felt relaxed and at ease. Finally.

  The song was upbeat and light-hearted. I took a deep breath, fully relaxing in the moment; I started dancing, there was nothing left to do at this point. I put my arms up in the air and wiggled my hips, letting the music take me away.

  A chuckle from the doorway grabbed my attention and I whirled around to find Nelson watching me while he leaned against the door jamb. His deep blue eyes flashed with amusement and his lips curled up into a breathtaking smile.

  I was too absorbed in the music to feel embarrassed, so instead, I shimmied over to him and grabbed his hands. I pulled him gently back to the middle of the room and held on to him while he shook his head at me.

  “I’m not dancing with you,” he laughed gently while his eyes appraised my wiggling body.

  “You are dancing with me,” I argued. “See?” I took his hands and held them in the air while I moved my hips back and forth with the music. Nelson stood still but allowed me to maneuver his arms however I wanted.

  “You like to dance?” he asked in a rumbling voice I felt in my core.

  “I love to dance,” I smiled at him, hiding my reaction to the crazy sex appeal he was throwing off. There was just something about how he enjoyed watching me dance, but was too nervous to join in that I found irresistible. I kind of liked this shy version of Nelson.

  Okay, more than kind of liked.

  “I haven’t done this in a while,” he admitted. He took a tentative step into me and I took that as a good sign. I placed his hands on my hips and ran my fingers up his biceps. He shivered underneath my touch and that only fueled my courage.

  “Like how long?” I asked, twirling around in front of him. When I faced him again we were inches closer and I could smell the soap he used during yesterday’s personal hygiene stop in a small creek bed. “What was pre-Zombie Nelson like?”

  The music continued to sing out of my iPhone speakers, changing to a different but equally as upbeat song. I messed around with some goofy moves, making Nelson laugh. I loved the sound of his laughter; it rumbled his chest and sounded like its own kind of music.

  “Probably a little bit before the outbreak,” he finally answered. His fingers trailed over my hips and up to the slender part of my waist. He took another step into me, now we were only two inches apart. “I was a sophomore at Northwestern before the infection; we used to go out all the time.”

  “Chicago?” He nodded. “You were how old?” I asked, thinking he was only twenty-one now.

  “Nineteen,” he smirked at me. “Haley, it was college. There used to be these things called fake ID’s and minors would use them to get into places like bars or clubs and-”

  “Hush now, smartass,” I placed my fingers over his lips, silencing him. For a moment I stopped moving completely at the feel of his mouth under the pads of my fingers. My skin felt ice cold against the warmth of his lips. My gaze dropped down to the full mouth partially hidden beneath my hand and suddenly I struggled to swallow. “I think I get your point.”

  “Mmm-hmmm.” Suddenly he pulled his head back and chomped down on my middle finger.

  “Ow!” I squealed, outraged. He didn’t bite hard enough for it to hurt, but still! “You can’t bite people in this day and age! I might just shoot you!”

  He pulled his teeth back, grazing my skin in a surprisingly tantalizing way and pressed a very gentle kiss to the pad of the same finger. I wa
tched, mesmerized by his seduction technique.

  This guy was a pro.

  Or I was seriously affection-starved.

  Possibly both.

  “I told you I was going to kiss you today,” he whispered, his voice thick and rough.

  A little dazed, I replied, “I thought you meant on my mouth.”

  Nelson’s attention was then drawn to my mouth, where he seemed hypnotized by the smallest movement.

  “Tell me more about college,” I suggested, hoping to steer away from wherever that was going.

  He shook his head and forced his eyes up to meet mine. They were dark, navy blue with heat and shining with anticipation. I rested my forearms on his shoulders and clasped my hands behind his head. My fingers were trembling and I was embarrassed by how worked up he had gotten me just by biting me; this had to be an aftereffect of living with Zombies for too long.

  Our chests brushed once, twice and then he pulled me closer to him with hands back on my waist. We were pressed together now, wrapped in each other’s body heat and hearts pounding against each other’s chest.

  “Vaughan, Hendrix and I all went to Northwestern before the infection,” he shared casually, although the intensity was still in his eyes. “Hendrix swam for their team and we were close to home. My dad went there; Harrison and King would have gone there too. We were just…. comfortable. Having a good time, you know? It was where we belonged, where we wanted to be. Where I wanted to be.”

  “It didn’t bother you to have both older brothers so close by?” I asked. As an only child I didn’t really get the whole sibling dynamic, but I would have felt smothered or maybe competitive if I went to the same school as my older brothers.

  “We’re so close in age, we’ve always been better friends than brothers,” Nelson explained. “I liked having them close by. Who do you think got me my fake ID?”

  “I hope there were enough girls to go around then,” I drawled dryly, before I could analyze the green-eyed jealousy monster taking over my body. I just imagined those boys, those insanely attractive, family-oriented, good guys walking around a college campus. I felt like no female was truly safe from the seductive powers of the Parker brothers.

  Nelson’s expression grew very serious, his eyes darkening even further. “Vaughan was really the only one of us ever interested in chasing girls. Hendrix was too focused on swimming and I just didn’t; I was looking for something particular and hadn’t found it yet.”

  “What were you looking for?” I asked carefully. I felt like I was walking into a trap. But somehow I knew he already captured me.

  “A good girl,” he smiled down at me.

  I snorted cynically, “Are they hard to find in bars and clubs?”

  The song changed again, this time to a slow, sexy ballad. Nelson pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me against his chest.

  “Depends on the bar.” I rolled my eyes and he amended, “But no, I did not find a good girl during my wild days.”

  “Maybe that was the problem,” I shrugged. “You were too wild for the good girls.”

  He let out a soft laugh and agreed, “Probably.”

  We swayed for a little bit, rocking back and forth in each other’s arms. His skin singed mine wherever we connected; his firm, protective muscles, and his warm body promised wicked things. I really tried to get my head out of the gutter, away from all things “bad idea.” But it was impossible with Nelson this close, this intentional about having something with me.

  I’d never been pursued before, save for the occasional Zombie that wanted to make a snack out of me. The boys in my high school liked to hook up, but it didn’t ever go anywhere because none of us wanted it to. It was hard not to fall for this, fall into this. Nelson had so many good qualities, like having saved my life several times and good teeth, even with the extinction of easily accessible dental care.

  I didn’t want to make my decision to finally commit based on lack of options.

  But on the other hand, things didn’t have to get serious with Nelson. Just because we were doing this, whatever this was, didn’t mean this was it for either of us. This could be mutually beneficial until we figured it out.

  “What were you like before the Zombies?”

  I cleared my throat before answering, not really sure what to say. “Young,” I finally decided. “Naïve.”

  “You’re supposed to be young and naïve and eighteen,” Nelson chuckled.

  “I was popular,” I added, as if it mattered now. “Reagan and I were cheerleaders and our school was pretty small. So it wasn’t like it was this huge accomplishment, but I had a lot of friends. That seemed important back then.”

  “Being popular or having a lot of friends?”

  “Having a lot of friends,” I clarified, realizing how shallow I sounded. “I mean, I didn’t really care about the popularity part of it, but I liked knowing everyone; I liked being liked. You know? And I liked liking other people. When I say I had a lot of friends, I mean the friendship went both ways. I wasn’t just this two-faced person that everyone thought liked them while I talked bad behind their backs. I genuinely liked most people. That just came naturally to me. It’s weird now. Not having more than one friend, not being able to like people or trust them. I feel wrong about it. It goes against my nature. But at the same time, so does dying. And it feels like if I let my guard down for just one second I’ll regret it; something will happen and I’ll never be able to get my life back.” I paused and added, “Not that I would exactly call this the life I want to live, but it’s better than nothing.”

  “You have more than one friend,” Nelson promised. He dropped his head and ran his nose up the line of my jaw, from chin to earlobe. “You have my brothers. And Page. Page counts for something, doesn’t she?”

  I smiled at that, “Page definitely counts for something.” His nose went from my earlobe down the line of my throat and he kind of played a back and forth game against my collarbone. My stomach clenched and tightened at the feeling and I resisted the urge to close my eyes and lean into him- but barely. “What about you? Are you saying you’re not my friend?”

  “Mmm-hmmm,” he breathed against my skin. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

  “That’s not very nice,” I tried to argue, but I was breathless and dizzy from the onslaught of his caressing touch.

  “Sure it is.” He brought his head up slowly, so that he looked me in the eyes again. “I’m something so much better than a friend.”

  I burst into laughter at the sound of his smooth charm and flawless arrogance. “Really? You thought I would be that easy?”

  He laughed too, not even seeming embarrassed, “No, I guess not. And I’m probably glad you’re not that easy.”

  “Thank you,” I said while my giggles tapered off. “Now that is a compliment.”

  “But it’s true, Haley. I have no interest in being your friend.”

  “I’m not a good girl, Nelson. I kill things on a daily basis. I would do anything to stay alive and keep those I love alive. A good girl would not do anything; a good girl would be able to find her moral compass. I lost mine somewhere between going on my first college trip with Reagan and when the Zombies invaded my home town. She’s probably out there, though. You just have to be a little more patient than the first girl that literally falls into your lap.”

  He was silent for a minute as we continued to sway back and forth with the music. I couldn’t even tell you what had been playing for the last several minutes. The only thing my brain seemed to care about at the moment was Nelson. Consequentially, Nelson was the only thing my body cared about at the moment, too.

  “Do you really think that’s why I’m interested in you,” he asked in a soft kind of outrage.

  “I think I’m a good option, if you had to choose one. I’m not ugly, I have all my teeth and plus side, I’m all the way alive. But I also don’t believe in love at first sight; and you and I haven’t known each other for that
long.”

  “I don’t believe in love at first sight either, Haley. Which is why I’m not in love with you,” his words were gentle and careful. So when I felt the pang in my chest when he said he wasn’t in love with me, no one was more surprised than I was. He held my gaze with his hypnotic dark blues and then confessed, “But I want to be.”

  “I am not a good girl,” I echoed in a hoarse voice.

  “Here’s the thing about that. When I was in college, I had this idea of what a good girl looked like and acted like. I have since changed my opinion about that.” Nelson was smiling again and I felt a little bit safer in this territory. I was much less vulnerable if he was laughing and joking. It was when he looked deep into my eyes and lowered his voice that I got in trouble. “I used to think a good girl didn’t smoke, she didn’t do drugs, she only occasionally drank and never acted out of control. She went to church, she cared about the homeless. She had a whole list of traits that could qualify her as a good girl. And while a lot of good girls do have those characteristics, I find that I am much more attracted to good girls that put others before themselves, that meet little eight year old girls and immediately adopt them as their little sister. In my newly formed opinion, good girls make the best out of a devastating situation by finding the best pieces of everywhere they go and not only enjoying the world we live in today, but somehow making it possible to remember the past without it being traumatic. You are a good girl, Haley. And if you fell into my lap, then it’s not by luck but by pure act of God that you’re with me now. So instead of looking at you like a fluke, I’m probably going to look at you like a gift. Like you walked into my life, not just as someone who will help my family survive, but as everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl- everything I’ve wanted for me.”

  Chapter Three

  I couldn’t breathe. Or think. Or even pretend to use that inflated brain in my head. All thoughts had stopped completely for me and I was reeling with all of his revelations.