Winging It!: Confessions of an Angel in Training (Confessions of an Angel-In-Training Book 1)

by Shel Delisle

  When I try to picture flying around with Victor, even that feels as far away as Heaven.

  As I sway, Aisha appears. Oh, sure. She can bi-locate.

  Aisha sits in the swing next to me. “So Michael was pissed?” she asks without even saying hello.

  “Uh-huh. Seriously. You could say that.”

  A smile skims across Aisha’s face. It makes me crazy.

  “You’re glad I got in trouble, aren’t you? You’re just waiting to see me fail.”

  Aisha’s braids jostle as she shakes her head. “I wouldn’t be here if I wanted to see you fail. Don’t be dense.”

  RRrrrr!

  “I’m not as stupid as you think. I know you’re Lacey’s Guardian—”

  “I don’t think you’re stupid,” she interrupts. “You just need to study.”

  Her smugness is so colossal and so annoying. Colossally annoying. “Really? Do you think that’s helpful?” How did she ever get her friggin’ wings?

  “C’mon, Grace. We’re Guardians. Help is such an ambiguous word.”

  Ding, ding, ding. The bell goes off in my head. This is what bothers me about finding out that Aisha is Lacey’s Guardian.

  “Look. Lacey is the biggest obstacle in my mission. She keeps pulling Tara down and the situation is getting worse. You must have a different goal than me, or you’re working against me. Or… you’re totally incompetent, because there’s no way possible you are helping my situation get better.”

  Aisha’s eyes flare. “You are seeing this through Earthly eyes. Try to see it from Heaven’s point of view.”

  Heaven’s point of view? This is my point of view. “That’s some majestic BS.”

  The spark in Aisha’s eyes turns to a blaze. “It’s not. Look. Lacey is one of the most difficult Assignments I’ve ever had. I’ve worked on this for two years. You want everything fixed in two months! You don’t understand her situation. It’s complex. I wish I could explain it to you.”

  Liar! “Try me. Like I said, I’m not as stupid as you think.”

  “I’m not supposed to talk about it. Do you know what it’s like to get contacted daily for Mission updates?”

  Michael daily? Wow. That is harsh.

  For one zillionth of a second I’m sympathetic, until she adds, “And it doesn’t help that I’m responsible for guarding you at the same time.” The glow in her eyes fades away.

  What? I have a Guardian? Lightning flashes behind dark clouds gathering to the north, and there’s a distant rumble of thunder. “You’re… you’re lying.” I get up from the swing and pace. She can’t be my Guardian.

  Aisha follows me anxiously. “Michael thought you could use one, and He agreed.”

  “Michael thought? He agreed? What about my opinion?” I yell.

  “Grace, please calm down.” Aisha has plastered a fake angelically serene expression on her face, which pisses me off even more. The sky above us grows darker; the sun has disappeared.

  I whack the mini-merry-go-round, spinning it faster and faster. “How can you even be my Guardian? Victor’s the only one who helped me. He showed me bi-location and size shifting. He helped me change the tire when I couldn’t get the stupid nuts loose. He even gave me his cell number in case I needed help.”

  Aisha loses it over the cell phone. A streak of lightning flashes. “Yeah, flying you around helped a lot, didn’t it? By the way, your little midnight flight‌—‌oh yeah, I heard all about it‌—‌got him Probation too. You totally messed with his Mission.”

  Deeper, close thunder. I grab the merry-go-round handle and stop it from spinning. It’s a good thing I don’t have super strength or don’t know how to use it because I probably would have ripped the thing from the ground.

  “Grace, please listen to me. I’ve been helping you even when you didn’t see it—”

  “How?” Lightening crashes nearby.

  “Remember at CVS when you fell into the cosmetics? I tripped you.” Aisha stretches her leg to twenty feet long, like Victor’s shape-shifting move with his arm. She pulls it back to normal length. “I did it quickly‌—‌faster than the blink of an eye.”

  The sky above is so dark, it’s practically night time. “Making me look stupid helps me?”

  “You were about to violate Tara’s Free Will, so I violated yours. Who do you think Michael contacted?”

  I’m stunned. The Free Will rule? I can’t believe all of this has been going on behind my back.

  Another band of jagged lightening streaks across the sky as Aisha says, “Basically, I took a bullet for you. I want you to succeed. Everyone wants you to succeed. But you need to do your homework and not let yourself be distracted by Victor.”

  New anger erupts. “What does he have to do with it?” I smack the merry-go-round and it fractures at the foundation.

  Aisha sighs. “Now look what you’ve done. That probably means a visit from Michael. Why can’t you just do what you’re supposed to do? Just study, okay? I want what’s best for you. I’m your stupid Guardian.”

  I can’t take anymore. I whack the mini-merry go-round a final time and take off.

  Aisha calls after me, “You could have bi-located, you know?”

  Oh sure. Now she tells me? She totally sucks as a Guardian. With each step, I get madder and madder. The clouds above boil and churn.

  She thinks she better than me because she’s my Guardian. And because she has her wings.

  Something happened with her and Victor and she’s not telling. She’s jealous because he likes me.

  A thunderclap; the lightening hits behind me. My anger shifts to Michael.

  How dare he! Giving me a Guardian only made my Mission more difficult. Aisha was wrong‌—‌he wants to see me fail because it will prove he was right.

  Crack! That time, it sounded like it was on top of my head. The hair on my neck stands on end. Then, and for the first time, I’m angry with Him.

  He didn’t trust me. He never really meant it when He said, “Okay, you can be a Guardian.” I’m some kind of weird experiment to amuse Him.

  The skies open up and rain starts to pour. By the time I reach the house, my fury is stretched like a slingshot ready to launch. Woe to those who would cross the path of this Angel-in-Training. I may be small and puny like David, but I feel like I could take on Goliath.

  I slam the front door.

  Finn is sprawled on the floor and Mrs. Murphy is curled up on the couch, legs tucked under her. “Angel Stories is coming on,” she calls as I storm past. “Grace! What happened? You’re soaked.”

  Finn scrambles up off the floor and follows me to my room. “What’s wrong?” His blue eyes widen.

  “It’s not a good time, Finn. Take off.” I bash the revolting black briefcase against my bed.

  He leans away from me as his eyes widen. “Is it something about your Mission?”

  Closing my eyes, looking inward for patience, I say, “Yeah, it is. Listen. I need to make an important call.”

  But Finn doesn’t take the hint. He plops down on my bed and sticks his thumb in his mouth. “I already know.”

  I don’t have time to deal with him. My hands shake as I dial Victor. Wait until he hears about Aisha. There’s no way he’ll think that’s cool. He’ll know what to do. He’s more like my Guardian anyway.

  He answers. “Grace?”

  I spill everything: Michael’s threat to re-ascend me, the rec center with Aisha.

  “Poor Grace.” There’s amusement in his voice.

  “You, you, think this is funny?” I look over and Finn smiles at me. What is wrong with everybody?

  “What’s the big deal?” Victor asks.

  “Aisha. My Guardian. Duh.”

  “Yeah‌—‌so? You didn’t actually think God or Michael would let you come without one, did you? You don’t have your wings yet. I thought you’d have figured that out.”

  There’s a spark in my chest. It spreads north. My face catches fire as the anger turns on myself.

  Confess
ion: I’m so stupid. Stupid for thinking this would be easy. Stupid for thinking Victor would help. Stupid for thinking I was already one of them‌—‌a Guardian.

  Victor laughs. “That’s funny. You thought you were solo, huh? That’s one of the things I love about you, Grace.”

  “Oh, yeah. Ha, ha.” I force a laugh. “Pretty dorky of me. It’s like I keep forgetting.” Enough about me. “So, are things better with your Mission?”

  “Nah. Totally screwed up. I shouldn’t have taken you flying, but whatever‌—‌it’ll pass. It always does.”

  Sure, sure. This too shall pass‌—‌one of those clichés. Except it might mean I’m singing in the choir. I’m definitely grounded.

  “Sorry,” I croak. And I am sorry I screwed up his Mission and my life. My mind spins like the merry-go-round and I just want to get off the phone with him. “Play good tonight. See ya later.”

  When I hang up, Finn bounces off the bed, his thumb firmly lodged in his mouth. “Don’t be sad. You’re an angel.” He spreads his arms like wings and pretends to zoom around my room.

  “Stop, Finn! Just stop it!”

  He pauses mid-flight; a hurt expression appears on his face and he pops his thumb into his mouth.

  “Stop that too!” I snarl. “No more.”

  He stares at me and his eyes well up. Head down, he slouches for my door and then yells, “You’re a bad angel!”

  Chapter 16

  I should go after Finn, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I crash on my bed and stare at the ceiling. How could I have done that? Yelled at him. I open the laptop to write to Mercy, but there’s already A-mail in my Inbox from her.

  From: mbeamkind@halo.hvn

  To: glightbourne@halo.hvn

  Subject: Are you okay?

  My Dear, dear Grace,

  Oh, my! I’ve been worried that things were not going well on Earth and tonight’s episode of The Wackiest, Craziest, Zaniest Angel Bloopers confirmed my fears. Half the show was devoted to you!

  It showed your clover miracle and when you had to kill it. Next, it showed when you flew around with Victor (he is very cute!) and after you left, how your assignment made the message. It’s so horrible that they got the idea when you tried to fix your mistake!

  Then the show went Live—to the event with the band playing the music. (They aren’t very good, that band, are they? Gabriel probably had a fit if he was watching!) And when they stopped we saw the message and the reaction of all the humans. Poor Ms. Sands. The camera zoomed in for a close-up of you and you looked so unhappy. It broke my heart.

  Well, after the show, Faith said you got what you deserved and I gave her a piece of my mind (several pieces, in fact), and now we’re not even speaking to each other. But I have to say that sometimes I wish you wouldn’t take so many crazy risks. Why don’t you try to play it safer, like me? I know you know what a popular show this is‌—‌but don’t want you to worry. I bet by the time you come back from your successful Mission, everyone will have forgotten.

  I hope you’re not upset. Please don’t be upset.

  I still believe in you.

  ♥-broken,

  Your friend,

  Mercy

  Virtue-in-Training

  Oh, Hell. Of all things‌—‌Angel Bloopers.

  Confession: I used to like this show but don’t anymore. All the other Angels look down on humans and this is just one more way for them to feel high and mighty.

  Humans and Guardians. They look down on both of us.

  Well, that’s it. My wings are out of reach and I refuse to return to Heaven to be mocked. I wonder what it’s like to live as a Wingless One. Do they hang out together? Or do they keep it a secret from everyone?

  Finn was right‌—‌I’m a bad angel.

  Totally lousy.

  Except I’m not an angel yet. Never was, probably never will be.

  Chapter 17

  I’m stuck in Purgatory. Or is it Limbo? I can never remember the difference and besides, it’s always seemed like the same place to me.

  Anyway… I can’t go back to Heaven and face the tsk-tsk from Seraphim, the scorn from Dominions or the pity from Virtues. Everything here is a mess, and I don’t even know if I’m going to be allowed to continue my Mission. The Kick-Off Classic game was cancelled tonight due to an “unexpected” violent tropical storm that’s moving through. Imagine that.

  Mrs. Murphy told Tara, “You’re not going anywhere tonight. The TV is advising everyone to stay inside until this passes.”

  So I’ve decided to try to study, because that’s what everyone keeps telling me do. Besides, ending up wingless is not how I want to spend the rest of my life.

  On the bed, belly-down, I open to the Table of Contents in My Life As A Guardian: Chapter One‌—‌Getting to Earth; Chapter Two‌—‌Thinking Critically About Your Mission. Skip ahead, skip ahead. I already did all this. The chapters titled Powers, Solving Your Mission and Beyond the First Assignment look interesting. I’ll avoid the chapter on The Most Common Guardian Problems because it doesn’t sound like good news and if I haven’t already had the problem‌—‌most likely, I did‌—‌why on Earth would I want to know it’s a possibility?

  I’ve never been any good at this whole focus-and-study-thingy. Maybe I should ask Him to set me in the right direction. I flip the pages, say a quick prayer, stick my finger into a random spot, open the book and read:

  The list of powers angels possess is staggering. But with these powers comes tremendous responsibility.

  Cool. I was interested in this chapter.

  Most powers are revealed and manifest at a time and place when the Angel has reached or achieved proper development. Occasionally, though, Angels become aware of their powers prematurely.

  Did this happen to me? With Victor?

  But for the purposes of discussion, we should assume you will receive your powers at the appropriate time. How, then, to best use them?

  It’s important to apply the critical thinking techniques you mastered in Chapter Two.

  That was a chapter I wanted to skip, right? I’m critical. I’ve thought. What else is there to know?

  For example, one power that’s generally acquired early is the ability to bend and re-shape time. This power, though very fundamental, can have startling ramifications and should only be used in the pursuit of Mission fulfillment.

  Whew! Seems like it’s okay that I’ve done that.

  I flash back to the first day of school when Victor and Aisha showed it to me. Then I replay how they treated each other on that first day of school, trying to figure out exactly what their relationship is. That makes me think that I can’t picture Victor flying Aisha around. I smile.

  Victor was so warm in the cool air. How high did we go?

  I look at the clock beside my bed. It’s just after 8:00. How am I ever going to be able to study when I waste time daydreaming about him?

  I re-read the passage on bending time and it makes me wonder: Were there other times I could have used it that I forgot about? Like when Finn wanted to listen in as I talked to Victor? Would it have been “in pursuit of my Mission” if I used it to cool off? Or to keep him from overhearing my conversation?

  Victor tried to use it at the Jukebox and Aisha stopped him. It makes sense now. But why did he bend the rules? Wait a minute! Or maybe many minutes. What if I wanted to freeze time until I caught up on my studying? Or to just squeeze an extra couple of hours into the day to hit the books?

  It’s already been the longest day of my life. Starting with the whole confusion over Tara and Lacey being Guardian Angels, to Team Oz, to the pep rally to Michael’s call, to fighting with Aisha and starting the storm that got me stuck inside tonight studying. What’s a little more time at this point?

  I freeze time at 8:10 but can’t tell if it worked until I knock on Tara’s door and there’s no answer. When I open it a crack, Tara is frozen on her cell phone, probably talking to Lacey.

  Yessssss!
>
  Up until now, I’ve been winging it. Which is not really a good idea, especially when I don’t even have the right equipment. But now I have a plan. Study until I can’t study anymore.

  I read for a couple of hours, getting up and pacing around the room after a chapter that needs more thought. Wilhelm keeps using the phrase fools rush in. He insists that Guardians should reflect before action.

  Confession: I don’t do this.

  My stomach growls and when I check the clock it still reads 8:10. How long have I been doing this? I need a snack. When I open my door, the Murphy’s are post-modern statues. If Michelangelo was an artist today, would his sculptures be people with their feet propped up on an ottoman?

  Quietly, with a weird feeling of not wanting to disturb them, I head for the kitchen to make a peanut butter sandwich. At the last minute, I snatch a banana and sit at the kitchen table to eat because Mrs. Murphy doesn’t like it when we bring food to our rooms. But it feels strange with them frozen within view and so I sneak the snack back to my room.

  Eat. Study. Eyes droop. Nap. Shower, blow-dry my hair and study. Eat some ice cream. Study. Listen to music and dance around. Study. Apply fake eyelashes. Eyes droop. Is it the eyelashes? I remove them, but my eyes still won’t stay open. Nap. Shower. Study and paint my toenails while I ponder why Wilhelm, the author of My Life as a Guardian, called his Mission a person instead of a human. Stretch. I admire my toenails. Pretty.

  And study.

  The sky outside my room is still dark and I’ve lost all sense of reality. I’m lonely. This is such an isolated way to live, but I’m catching up. I’ve read the first nine chapters of My Life as a Guardian and have taken notes that fill half a spiral. I’m heading for another meal and decide maybe I should check on the Murphy’s condition. I unfreeze time and walk into the family room. The Murphys don’t say anything, don’t move.

  Have I done something to them?

  But then Mrs. Murphy laughs at something on TV. She mutes the volume and holds out the remote. “It’s too bad about the game. Did you want to watch something?”