Worth the Weight

by Mara Jacobs

  She rubbed her ass against his erection, reminding him she still wore her satin panties. Not for long. Amidst a low growl that grinding her sweet ass against him brought, he left her breasts and moved his hands down her sides to the waistband of her panties.

  Apparently she had forgotten about her panties as well, because her back stiffened against his chest as he moved to take them from her. “Finn, let’s move to the bed,” she whispered, her voice quavering.

  “Not yet, babe, I need to see all of you.” Before her hands could reach his, he slid her panties down her hips and thighs, right to the floor. She reluctantly stepped out of them and nudged them aside.

  He realized she must have been using different swimsuits when she was at Alison’s because there was no definite tan line, just a fading of deep tan into pale, creamy skin. The tan of her legs and arms was much deeper due to the days she spent in his strawberry fields. There was a strip of tan at her belly where Finn figured she had lifted the top of that thing she called a tankini. Just a sweet little strip of tan right at her belly button. It wasn’t even as wide as his hand. He placed his fingers along the strip, unable to take his eyes from the delicious contrast of skin tones. God, he’d missed out on so much these last few weeks not being able to see her clearly while they had sex. It had always been with that one, damn candle burning all the way across her room. Or in the barn after twilight with only the dimming daylight coming through the slats of the walls. They’d kept the door of the barn closed and locked because Liz turned out to be a bit of a shrieker, much to Finn’s delight.

  He turned his gaze to her face and watched as her eyes took a quick inventory of her fully naked body, then dropped to the floor, not willing to look at herself any longer.

  Had he lost her? It wasn’t his intention to humiliate her. Hell no, he just wanted her to see herself as he saw her. A gorgeous, mature, curvy woman that made him feel like no woman ever had.

  “What do you see?” His hands smoothed down her hips, tempted to dip into her raven curls, sure he would find her wet with desire. He fought down the temptation, wanting to take it slow, even though her bikini wax shaped her glistening curls into a kind of landing strip. So he could find his way home. He’d felt it before, but finally seeing the neatly trimmed hair just about sent him out of his mind.

  She shook her head, unable, or unwilling, to answer his question. He wrapped one hand around her waist, guided to the little strip of tan, and his other hand went to her chin, lifting it. Daring her to meet his gaze in the mirror.

  Not one to back down from a challenge - not his Liz - she met his stare, and lifted her chin out of his hold.

  “You want to know what I see?” she said, defiance in her voice. She didn’t wait for his nod to go on. “I’ll tell you what I see. I see a woman who abused her body for years and now must pay the price. I see droopy boobs, a flabby belly, inner thighs that jiggle when I walk. And stretch marks. Lots and lots of stretch marks.” The breath whooshed out of her and Finn wondered if she’d collapse in his arms. She didn’t. In fact, she stood even straighter, moved away from the warmth of his chest, leaving him bereft of their shared heat.

  “Some people call stretch marks badges of honor,” he offered up. His hands grazed the silver marks at the tops of her breasts. The same marks he’d noticed the first night she’d been at the farm and he’d gotten her blouse off. His touch moved lower, feeling the slight rise of the marks along her abdomen and hips. It was funny that they seemed like such a big deal to her when they didn’t diminish his desire one bit. He would never have thought twice about them if she hadn’t pointed them out.

  She snorted. “Yeah, badge of honor if you have a baby to show for your troubles.” She started to go on, but he could see he needed to get her out of this frame of mind.

  “Okay. That’s what you see. Now let me tell you what I see.” He took her shoulders and pulled her back against him, pushing his firm erection into her ass and lower back, driving home the point he was about to make; that no matter how she saw herself, she made him unbelievably hard.

  His hands began to touch her everywhere. Feather light touches all over her body. His fingers continued their sweeping as he kept his eyes pinned to hers in the mirror and began speaking.

  “I see a woman whose full breasts were not only made to nurse babies, but were made for a man’s pleasure.” His fingers trailed across her nipples. “I see a woman with wide hips, for easy birthing, or for a man to grab onto as you ride him.” His fingers bit into the flesh at her hips and he pulled her tighter against his cock, rubbing himself against her. She let out a soft moan, but her eyes never left his, even as her head fell back against his shoulder.

  “I see a woman whose tummy is a soft pillow to rest my head on after I’ve gone down on her.” Her hands finally moved for the first time since he’d pulled her bra out of her grasp. They went to his arms, but instead of stilling him, or pushing him away, they rested on top of his. Her hands on top of his hands, wanting to follow him as he adored her body. Wanting to believe him. Needing to believe him.

  He would make her believe, because it was the truth. He loved her body.

  “I see a woman whose pussy gets drenched every time I touch her. Who comes hard when I rub her clit and whisper in her ear how bad I want to fuck her.” His hand, with hers atop, skimmed through her curls and proved his point when his fingers easily slid through her soaking cleft. Her clit was already peeking from its hood, hard and throbbing. He began to slowly stroke her and a low moan of delight escaped her lips.

  “I see all those things, Liz, all those parts. But you know what I see when I look at the whole? Do you know what I see?” His voice was rough with arousal. His stroking picked up speed now, and his other hand, still entwined with hers, returned to her breasts. His kneading was no longer gentle, and he could feel her responding to his rougher touch. She liked it a little rough, his good girl. She also liked when he talked dirty to her, he could see that in the way her body trembled.

  “No,” she answered, barely able to get the word out. His eyes wouldn’t allow her to look away. He instinctively knew she wanted to see his eyes when he said what he intended to say. “What do you see?” she asked.

  “I see the woman I’m in love with.” At her deep intake of breath he released his hold on her and spun her around to face him. He crushed his mouth down on hers, devouring her warm, sensuous lips, gliding past with his tongue, intent on finding hers. He did, and they tangled their wetness against each other as their bodies pressed tight, her tits crushed to his chest, his hard dick shoved into her mound.

  He couldn’t believe he’d just said that. He knew it was true, but to say it. Jesus. But as the words tumbled out of him, Finn felt a lightening from his chest. He trusted Liz completely. Even if she didn’t feel the same way - and he had a strong suspicion that she did - telling her that he loved her would be okay. Liz would never hurt him. Would never flaunt his love for her, or use it like a weapon as Dana had his love for the kids. No, Liz was the one person he could trust with his heart.

  He started moving backward to the bed, not letting go of her body or her mouth. When the back of his legs came in contact with the edge of the bed, he turned and gently eased them both down to the mattress, pushing the comforter out of the way, wanting to feel the cool of the sheets against the heat of their skin.

  The embrace and kiss broke as they situated themselves on the bed, Liz reaching for him as soon as she was lying down. She held his face in her hands. Finn could see the shine of unshed tears in her eyes. Oh hell, he hadn’t wanted to make her cry. But he had to let her know what he saw when he looked at her. What he felt every time he looked at her.

  Now, away from the mirror, looking directly into each other’s eyes, he needed to make sure she knew his words weren’t just a pep talk for her failing self-image. He kissed her tenderly once on her lips and again told her how he felt.

  “I love you, Elizabeth Hampton.”

  It wasn’t like bef
ore, Lizzie thought, and not only because this time the lights were on. No, tonight was different. She wasn’t thinking about how her body felt to Finn, she was thinking about what Finn made her body feel. Actually, she wasn’t thinking at all, just feeling. And it was wonderful.

  He’d seen her at her worst. In bright, harsh light, standing naked. Not lying down, where she could position herself to a better advantage. No, there she stood, letting everything hang out, or down, as the case may be.

  Seeing herself, really seeing herself, in the mirror in front of Finn was one of the hardest things she’d ever done. And the most liberating. She’d disclosed to him her harshest opinions of herself, totally believing them, and yet hoping beyond hope, he could see past them.

  Obviously he had, because he still wanted her. His hunger, his lust, his desire were plain in his eyes. It wasn’t pity or understanding, or compassion that shone from those gorgeous blue peepers. No, it was pure want. Pure need.

  But best of all, he loved her. Finn Robbins was in love with her.

  “Prove it,” she whispered to him, “make love to me, Finn.”

  He ducked his head to kiss her. To be able to fully concentrate on the sweet sensations that his mouth brought hers instead of where his hands may be roaming - and what they may be finding - gave new depth to Finn’s kisses. Had she known how soft his lips were? How the rough texture of his tongue was tantalizing against her own? How, when she sucked on his tongue, he shivered.

  They’d been together nearly every night for the last three weeks and yet Lizzie’s body hummed like it’d never been touched.

  She turned off her mind, not willing to lose this wondrous awakening that was tempting her to self analyze. Why think when Finn’s mouth was doing a torturous dance down her neck, skimming across her chest, teasing her tightening nipples.

  Again, his words in front of the mirror came back to her, filling her with a boldness that excited her. She lifted his mouth from her tingling breasts and held his face in her hands, making him look up at her. She slowly shook her head from side to side. “Unh, uh,” she said. “You had your way, now it’s my turn.”

  She found she wanted to be in charge of this session. Her learning curve over, her confidence restored, she wanted to hold the reins. The image of his horses brought her next idea.

  At his questioning look she gently pushed on his chest, entangling her fingers in his crisp chest hair as she did, until he was on his back. She leveled up to her elbow, leaning over him. God, she loved his chest, so broad, so strong. She bowed her head in reverence to it, licking his nipple as she did, receiving a shaky exhale of approval. She took in the scent of him, the familiarity of it now a comfort to her. He smelled of hay and Clea’s kitchen and of course, Brut.

  She sat up and slid one leg over his waist, sitting low on his belly, straddling him. Instinctively, she hunched her shoulders, trying to seem smaller, trying to minimize. Catching herself, she sat up straight, even arching her back slightly.

  No hiding beneath Finn’s strong body this time. She started to rub herself against the rough hair that made a vee down Finn’s belly, loving how it felt. Looking down, she saw how her wetness moistened his hair, making it glisten in the bright light. The sheer eroticism of the sight made her moan.

  His hands slid up and down her thighs, the friction causing a delicious heat. She inched her way backward, rising as she did, so that she could grasp his erection in her hand. She stroked him with one hand as her other raked across his chest leaving white indentations in her wake.

  “Jesus, Liz, put me inside you,” he hissed, but she wasn’t rushing. She took her hand from his chest and raised it to her own mouth, licking her palm several times while her eyes locked on his. She then continued to stroke him, able to slide along his length more easily, picking up speed.

  His hands slid from her thighs to her breasts, teasing and taunting her as she was him. When a particularly playful tweak caused a gasp from her, he said again, “Put me inside you.” It was as close to begging as she’d ever heard from the proud man, and she decided to put him out of his misery. Or at least give him a different kind of misery.

  When she pressed him against her core they both lost their breath. She eased him to her entrance, sliding him along her cleft, totally saturating him. She slowly lowered herself onto him, resting her hands behind him on his muscled thighs. She sat, back arched, head thrown back, more exposed than she’d ever been.

  Woman on top, no big deal, right? But would he ever know what it took for her to reveal herself to him like this? To invite his perusal of her body? When she glanced down, the look in his eyes made her realize that he did know what she’d offered him.

  “You’re beautiful when you ride me,” he said. He reached his hands out to smooth her hips then slid to her butt. “You have such a great ass, Liz, perfect for this. Perfect for me to hold on to.” His hands began to knead her cheeks, rocking her into a forward motion that she quickly found and took over herself.

  She leaned forward, letting her breasts hang down to find his waiting mouth. The suckling sounds he made spurred her own desire and her movements picked up speed.

  The force of her orgasm caused her to pull her breast from Finn’s mouth and arch back, small shrieks of delight escaping her. Shudders racked her body, her fingers bit into Finn’s waist and chest as she rode out the wave, only to be caught by another as he reached out and stroked her where their bodies joined together. He teased her with his touch until she could take no more, than allowed her to come down.

  As her breathing began to reach normal, he grabbed her hips and bucked his still throbbing erection into her. “Ride me hard, Liz. Make me come,” he groaned.

  She did.

  And he did.

  When she had thoroughly milked his body, she collapsed on top of him and he rolled them to their sides, facing each other. They gazed at each other, wearing dopey grins, waiting for sanity to return.

  “Oh. We didn’t use a condom,” she said. She hadn’t noticed at the time. Surely Finn must have realized?

  He held her close, tangling his fingers in her hair. “You’re on the pill, right?” he asked.

  “Yes...” she said. But that wouldn’t be enough for him, not after what Dana had done. God, he wouldn’t think she was trying to trap him or playing some kind of game with him, would he?

  “We’re fine then,” he said, kissing her forehead.

  She realized that just as she had just put all her trust, all her faith, in Finn by baring her body to him, so had he to her.

  Pulling away from him slightly, she took his face in her hands. She knew he loved it when she held him like that. She’d done it when they were dating years ago. She had held his face above hers that first night on his grandmother’s couch and had known, even then, that she would need to memorize every feature of his strong face. Felt sure that it was the face she would want to conjure up for the rest of her life.

  She held that same face, now aged and weathered, and played with the idea that maybe this time she wouldn’t have to memorize it. Maybe this time she wouldn’t have to rely on memories.

  “I love you, Finn Robbins,” she said. It was the first time in her entire thirty-six years that Lizzie said the words to a man, other than her father and brother, and yet they rolled off her tongue with ease.

  He kissed her softly, so gently she wasn’t even sure his lips met hers. He rolled her over to spoon, as had become their routine.

  His hand rested low on her tummy. She didn’t even notice.

  Chapter Nineteen

  √ Go over EVERY Annie Aid detail – AGAIN!

  √ Call lawyer about partnership proposal questions

  √ Get to-do list for Annie Aid to K&A

  √ Get bottle of wine for each K&A

  √ Send flowers to Sybil – and DON’T call her anymore

  The week before the fundraiser was full of last minute details and duties. Finn and Lizzie found it harder to be alone, but find time they did. The
ir lovemaking took on a new sweetness, with no more sense of urgency.

  Lizzie once again went over the partnership proposal her senior staff had written, making notations and suggestions in the margins. With the partnership, she envisioned being able to work from home around three weeks out of each month, and travel to Detroit and various spots around the country to meet clients the remainder.

  She decided to do it. To give up complete control and take on partners. Now, she just needed to figure out where that home office would be. Without a doubt she would be moving back to the Copper Country. But would she be moving in to Finn’s house right away, or would they wait until Annie had her operation and had gone through physical therapy? She knew she was welcome to stay at her parents’ house for as long as she wanted. Or maybe she’d sell her condo and buy a place on the lake up here. Something small, where she could live and work for now, then be a place where she and Finn could take the kids later.

  Later? What precisely would be happening later? No exact words of the future were spoken between Finn and her, but there was a definite understanding that they’d be together. Wasn’t there? He’d said he loved her and she’d told him the same. Didn’t that mean he wanted to be with her beyond next week? Her inexperience in the relationship department left her wondering. She didn’t want to ask Katie and Alison. She hadn’t even told her two friends about this new, deeper, understanding. It still seemed so personal, so pure, she wanted to keep it to herself a while longer. After the fundraiser, when her parents returned, she’d sit them all down and tell them of her decision to move home and make Finn and his family a permanent part of her life.

  She was thrilled with the success of the fundraiser, though not surprised. Advance ticket sales had ensured that not only would all the expenses be covered - and there were a lot, with chartering a plane to get all the athletes to the remote area - but would pay for Annie’s operation and future medical and physical therapy bills. Lizzie estimated that tickets bought the day of the event would help put a dent in the mortgage on the farm so that the Robbins family would be on solid ground.