Sleepless Fate

by Janae Keyes

  Always,

  Patrick

  “No… Patrick,” I breathed out. This couldn’t be the outcome. I’d made my decision. I wanted to try. I wanted to attempt to move on with my life and to do that with Patrick. This had to be a sick joke. I read the note over and over again. I needed to see him. I needed to tell him that I wanted to try something with him, though in so many ways I felt it might be too late, as he seemed to have made his own decision.

  Chapter Nine

  Brielle

  HE WAS DEFINITELY avoiding me. I went to his office on Monday and he wasn’t there. I went again on Tuesday, once more he wasn’t there. Layla, his receptionist had returned. Turns out she was sick and the bitchy blonde who had been there in her place was a temp. On Wednesday, when we had our normal meeting scheduled I’d gotten an email from him. It was so completely formal that it didn’t even feel like him.

  From: PBAILEY@CORESOLUTIONS.COM

  To: BELLIOT@CORESOLUTIONS.COM

  Subject: Revision Project

  Good Afternoon Ms. Elliot,

  Normally we would have a meeting scheduled for today, but as I am out of the office, I figured I could send you the information for this week. The board has approved that we continue, it is time for us to step into the action phase. I need you to gather a team of all the department heads along with a few dedicated individuals to start rolling the project out. I am leaving this end up to you as I know you are perfectly capable of putting together a dynamic team. We will touch base next week on your progress.

  Sincerely,

  Patrick Bailey

  Chief Operations Officer - Core Financial Solutions

  I felt empty in a way. I wanted to see him in person. I wanted us to have a real conversation and to talk in depth about what we could be. I certainly wanted to try, but he seemed to have made another decision.

  I took a deep breath as my car door was opened by the valet. I stepped from my silver BMW and out into the warm breeze of the day. I felt festive wearing my striped red, white, and blue fit and flare dress with blue strapped sandals. I walked around to the passenger side where April was exiting my car in a long red maxi dress. It was the day of Gerald Oliver’s Fourth of July barbecue at his newly acquired winery in Napa. I was nervous about the possibility of seeing Patrick since I hadn’t laid eyes on him in nearly a week.

  “I doubt he will even be here. He’s been out of the office all week and is obviously avoiding you,” April commented as we walked towards where the party seemed to be happening. We’d spotted a few of our co-workers enjoying the wine.

  “I hope he isn’t here. I’ve been going insane this week and today I want to relax, have a few glasses of wine, and enjoy myself,” I commented to my best friend before we’d reached a group of co-workers.

  “You guys look great,” Commented a supervisor who worked under me. She was a sweet older redheaded woman, who kept my department running after Keaton’s accident when I couldn’t be in the office for a few weeks.

  “Thanks Barbara. I love your headband,” April commented at the cute American flag headband that the woman was sporting.

  “My daughter made it of course,” Barbara gloated proudly.

  I glanced around at everyone who was here and my eyes seemed to meet a familiar pair of honey eyes. I inhaled sharply spying Patrick across from us. I hadn’t seen him since I refused to talk to him on the plane after London. He looked the same, but had a definite sadness that seemed to radiate off him. He was leaning against the side of a building with a glass of white wine in his hand. He wore jeans, with a light blue button up, and red blazer. I flipped my sunglasses that were sitting on the top of my head over my eyes and turned away determined to rejoin the conversation with April and Barbara, but only a moment later I heard that voice that shook me to my very core.

  “Happy Independence Day, ladies,” came Patrick’s silky voice.

  “Happy Independence Day, Mr. Bailey,” I said sharply, refusing to look in his direction. I could feel his body heat radiating from him and attaching itself to me. I needed a drink and I needed it right away. Without hesitation, I left the conversation determined to find myself a good glass of wine.

  I’D LOST COUNT of the how many wine glasses I’d imbibed. Normally, April was my drinking buddy, but since she was pregnant, she would get the lucky job this evening of being the designated driver. I found myself wandering through the property with a glass of Merlot in my hand. It was enchantingly beautiful out here in the middle of the vines. This was the ultimate escape and I made a note to myself to get away to wine country more often.

  At last I realized that I’d been gone from the party for a bit and I should return before April sent out a search party. I walked down towards a building that I’d passed on the way up the small vine covered hill. Reaching the building I’d decided that going through it might be a little faster than going around. Walking inside I found myself in a stable full of the most majestic looking horses. I gasped as I spotted the most gorgeous caramel colored horse with a blonde mane. I walked towards the animal and put my hand out bent on trying to give it a touch.

  “Hey there, pretty,” I said softly to the horse as I slowly approached it. It was a joy when I realized it was going to allow me to stroke its mane. I ran my hand over the soft hairs and smiled. “You are so beautiful. I wonder what your name is.”

  “Her name is Bella,” came a voice. I sharply turned to see Patrick standing not too far from me. I was surprised that I hadn’t seen or heard him beforehand.

  “She’s beautiful,” I commented, looking directly at him. I could feel the alcohol coursing through my veins and suddenly I had the urge to confront him. I was angry with him for the way he’d avoided me all week. I was furious that he never gave me a chance to make a decision before he made his. I stopped petting Bella and walked to Patrick with a finger pointed right at him. “I’m so mad at you.”

  “Mad at me?” He questioned with a chuckle. “I haven’t done anything.” His tone was dismissive and that seemed to make me angrier.

  “You’ve done so much. I was ready, you know. I was ready to try and step away from Keaton. I’d made the decision and I was ready. Then, I go home to your note, you avoid me all week. You threw me for the biggest loop. I was so ready... Fuck, I’m still ready, but you… I don’t know… you just decided to throw it all away,” I slurred drunkenly through half my tirade, I didn’t even know what I was saying. I was just spewing all my feelings out to him. “I wanted you. I left Keaton for you.”

  “Wait… Brielle… you left Keaton for me?” He questioned looking dumbfounded and shocked.

  “Of course I did!” I growled out throwing my hands in the air nearly spilling wine on myself. I jumped back as some of my precious Merlot spilled onto the ground. “You were all over me confessing your love for me and then you do a complete 180 on me. Mixed signals much?”

  “You’re one to talk about mixed signals,” he duly noted. I had to accept that I’d also sent a mixture of signals in his direction. “I thought that is what you wanted. I thought you wanted me to leave you alone. So I left you alone,” he proclaimed.

  “That is what I wanted, but I was so confused. You have to understand. I’ve never been with anyone other than Keaton since I was 16 years old, and I’ve spent two years just hoping he’d wake up from that damn coma. I let so much of my life pass me by and you come into my life and I felt a sense of renewal and something I’d never felt before. It scared the shit out of me and then I realized maybe it was fate, but if you no longer want me... I can try this with someone else. I’m sure there is someone else I can try with. I’m going out on the biggest limb ever as I attempt to have a real life outside of Keaton. I was willing to go out on that limb with you, but if not you… someone else, maybe,” I was confessing my entire heart in a way that I’d never done before. I’m sure the alcohol was a big factor in why I was just spewing out everything that came to my mind.

  “Nobody else,” He nearly growled at once.


  “What?” I questioned.

  “You won’t try with anyone else. You will try with me,” He spoke clearly and in a determined manner. I had no time to react as he pulled me to him by my hips. He was looking me in my eyes with so much intent. “Brielle, are you absolutely sure?”

  “I’m sure, I’m very sure. I want to try with you. I can’t make any promises and you have to go slow with me. I’ve never dated anyone else before and all of this scares me,” I confided. Patrick gave me a grin and I had to smile back. I was doing this and it felt right. Nothing in my life had ever felt this right.

  “I will go as slow as you need Babe. I want a life with you and I want to make you happy. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy,” He proclaimed as he moved a stray piece of my dark wavy hair from my face. He settled his hand on my cheek. “I’ve dreamed about this moment for so long. Having you, and now it feels better than my dreams.” Without any prompting, he pressed his lips hard to mine. I relaxed into his kiss.

  There was something about the way his soft lips felt on mine that made me feel breathless. I was shaking out of nervousness, excitement, and the exhilaration of the moment. I inhaled the scent that had mesmerized me for so long, cinnamon.

  Patrick broke away from me and peered into my eyes. He seemed over the moon and I could say the same about me. This was so new and it excited me beyond reason. He slipped a hand into mine and laced our fingers together. The way he held my hand felt right. It felt like our hands belonged together.

  “I want to take you on a real date. Tomorrow night?” He questioned as he looked at me. I instantly frowned because as much as I wanted to go out with him I knew that the next night would not be ideal. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No, no, you didn’t. I want to go on a date, but tomorrow is not good. Tomorrow my mom is throwing a birthday dinner for my grandma. I kind of need to go,” I confessed feeling terrible that I couldn’t go out with him, but my family was very important to me and I was determined to attend the party for my grandma.

  “Is the next night good?” He questioned.

  “The next night is perfect,” I said with a huge smile. I hadn’t been on a first date since my school’s Winter Dance in the 10th grade. This was all so surreal.

  “Perfect, I can’t wait. I want to spend time with you,” he said as he pulled me close to him. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his face into my hair. I tilted my head and peered into his eyes.

  “Do you want to come with me tomorrow?” I asked him. I had no idea why I was asking him to go with me. We hadn’t even been on a first date and my family could be intense. It might scare him away and we wouldn’t even make it to the first date.

  “To the birthday dinner?” He questioned. I nodded and he gave me a smile. “I’d love to go,” I bit my lip clearly nervous, but excited.

  “Bri!” I heard April’s voice call out.

  “That’s April looking for me. I should go, but call me later, to figure out plans for tomorrow,” I said to him. At once, he pressed his lips to mine and held onto me tight, but only for a small moment.

  “I could get used to doing that all the time,” he commented and I grinned. As I moved away from him, he held onto my hand not wanting to let go. I smiled and slowly he loosened his grip on my hand, allowing me to go. I walked towards the door opposite the one I’d taken in. I turned back for only a moment and gave him a small smile. He was grinning like a fool at me. We were doing this and it was all for real. It wasn’t a dream, but as real as it could get.

  Patrick

  NOTHING ABOUT TODAY could have been real. I’d spent the good part of a week or so avoiding Brielle, but I had no choice since it would be my first event as the COO of Core Solutions, and the CEO throwing the party was my step-dad. I had to show up and act like I wanted to be there. I was doing great until Brielle showed up looking gorgeous. Her dress was fun and flirty and her long hair blew slightly in the breeze. I knew something was off with her when she’d addressed me in such a formal tone, but I wasn’t going to push anything.

  I’d found myself wandering the property when I saw Brielle enter the stables. There was a moment that I watched her with the horse. It was so majestic watching this woman who I found to be the most beautiful woman alive, stroking the mane of this regal creature.

  Everything after that moment was unreal, Brielle confessing her feelings and the fact that she actually wanted to try a relationship with me, it blew my mind. She was actually mine. Though our moment together was short, it was exactly how it should have been. I was going to see her and once again I would get to hold her as I did today, I could kiss her soft lips.

  Standing in the bedroom of my new house, I looked out of the grand window that overlooked the bay waters. Alcatraz island stood firm, slightly covered in a low fog. I knew Brielle would love this view, whenever I would be able to bring her here. Thinking about her brought a smile to my face. After our talk and time together, I felt like I’d grinned like a fool the rest of the party. I’d spot her at the party and she would give me a soft smile. I wanted to touch her more and hold her there, but as this was new and it being a company party, I wasn’t going to push our limits, at least not yet.

  I knew I should call her before it got too late. She’d instructed me to call her so we could figure out the specifics for me attending her grandmother’s birthday dinner with her. It was exciting to know I was doing something with Brielle and she’d invited me to do so. If only lowly Patrick of the past could see me now.

  I sat on my bed where my phone was lying. I dialed her number and waited for it to ring. It was funny, I felt like a teenage boy calling up his crush for the first time. Though I knew I wouldn’t have her mom or dad answering the phone.

  “Hi,” came the sweetest voice I’d come to know. A shiver ran down my spine just at hearing it.

  “Hey, I’m calling about tomorrow,” I noted as I set my back against the headboard of my bed.

  “Yeah, my parent’s house is in Vallejo. I’m not sure where you are coming from,” she informed me. It sounded like she was smiling. I loved the sound of her voice when she had a smile on her face. I closed my eyes for just a moment and imagined her sweet smile.

  “Where do you live?”

  “Oh, I’m in Danville.”

  “How about I pick you up and you can lead the way?”

  “Sounds great. I will text you my address. If you can come around 6:30 or 6:45, that would be perfect.”

  “I’m there.” I concluded.

  I couldn’t believe tomorrow I would be meeting her family. I knew the bits she’d told me about them when we were on the plane to London and the few things I’d remembered when we were in school. It would be nice to see where she grew up and get to know those around her. Hopefully her parents weren’t too attached to this Keaton guy. I wanted them to like me not just for me, but to like me as someone to be with her.

  “What are you up to?” I asked her.

  “I’m laying on my bed,” she answered sweetly. I could only imagine what her perfect body looked like sprawled across her coverlet. I knew it would be much too cliché to ask her what she was wearing, but I could imagine her in a silky nightgown, her hair draped over her shoulder. I swallowed hard as I felt heat radiating off my body. Just thinking of her was too much.

  “I’m doing the same… Brielle… can I ask you something?”

  “Yeah, anything.”

  “What made you change your mind? You were so adamant about being with Keaton, but then it all seemed to change and it was so quick.”

  I heard her take a breath. “Your words affected me, it also didn’t help that people around me like April and my mom were telling me I should move on. I knew it was time to close that chapter, but I was afraid to. Something about you made me feel safe in making the decision to finally do it.” I could tell she was speaking from the heart and speaking truthfully. I smiled to myself. I was glad that I could make her feel safe, it was all had I ever wanted.
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br />   “I do want to apologize for maybe being a little too persistent. I was wrong to push you and maybe I forced myself onto you. That wasn’t how I was raised and I’m sorry.” It had stuck me after London that maybe I had gone too far and my persistence wasn’t attractive. I didn’t want to be that guy.

  “It’s okay and I accept your apology. Thanks for that Paddy.” I chuckled at her calling me Paddy. I hadn’t been called that since grad school. It got to the point where I assumed most people didn’t even know my name was Patrick. It wasn’t my favorite, but it seemed to stick.

  “It is still funny to me that we got to reconnect after so many years. Maybe there was a reason for it,” she mentioned.

  “For sure,” I answered right away. I knew it had to be something deeper and bigger than the two of us. “Of course you would still have a hold on me, all these years later.”

  “I can’t believe you crushed on me this hard since business school. It’s been four years since we graduated. Plus, after your years overseas, I would expect you to have some European wife with adorable kids. I’m sure the girls were all over you over there.” She was right though.

  Europe was an adventure in itself. I’d just lost the weight and it would be my first time living out of the country. I knew I had responsibilities, but I wanted to do what any guy in his mid-twenties wanted to do in Europe, I wanted to party and hook up with girls.

  Though after awhile that got old and I found myself looking for someone to settle down with. I dated around until my ex. Things with her were hectic, I always felt like she had ulterior motives for being with me and my mom felt like she knew it, but something about her kept me going back for more.