The Lie

by Linda Sole

  ‘Not if he doesn’t want me to. Besides, I have plenty to do here. They need me at the home, and I’m doing a worthwhile job.’

  ‘But Simon is your husband!’

  ‘Yes – but not all husband and wives live in each other’s pockets, Frances.’

  ‘Well, I know some don’t,’ Frances admitted, ‘but if you love each other . . .’ Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Emily. ‘You do love him, don’t you?’

  ‘To be honest, I don’t know,’ Emily admitted. There was no point in hiding it any longer, because she wasn’t sure how long her marriage would continue. ‘It was all such a rush when we got married. I wasn’t sure it was right then, but Simon was so down and I thought . . .’ She sighed. ‘I probably made a mistake, but I’m stuck with it so there’s not much use in complaining.’

  ‘Oh, Emily!’ Frances looked shocked, as if she would burst into tears at any minute. ‘I don’t know what to say to you.’

  ‘There isn’t anything to say. I can’t leave Simon the way things are, and I’ve taken on this project for Vane. I shall just have to grit my teeth and put up with it, shan’t I?’

  ‘But that’s a horrible way to live.’

  ‘It’s all I can do for the moment,’ Emily said. ‘I’ve accepted it and that’s that as far as I’m concerned.’

  ‘But when Simon is over this . . .’

  ‘Perhaps,’ Emily agreed. ‘I shall have had time to think things over. I do care about him, Frances. I don’t love him, not as you love Marcus – or as Alice loves Daniel – but I do care, of course I do.’

  ‘Have you seen Alice yet?’ Frances frowned. ‘Her mother told me she’d had some letters from Daniel. Apparently, she just refuses to accept that he is dead.’

  ‘Has the War Office confirmed it, then?’

  ‘No, not yet. But he must be, mustn’t he?’

  ‘I don’t see that follows,’ Emily said, her heart aching. ‘Don’t give up on him, Frances. He might be wounded – or even a prisoner.’

  ‘They get lists of prisoners, don’t they?’

  ‘Yes, but they aren’t always accurate, and sometimes it is ages before names get listed. I think Alice is right not to give up yet. Besides, it will be easier for her to accept as time goes on.’

  ‘Well, perhaps you are right,’ Frances said, and picked up her son as he started to whimper. ‘I wish you would talk to Henry while you’re here, Emily. He isn’t at all well, but he won’t listen to anything we tell him – and Connor is playing me up. He’s been moody ever since he heard about Daniel. He stays out late and I can’t do a thing with him.’

  ‘I’ll see if I can talk to him,’ Emily promised, and sighed. Everything was so complicated and so distressing, and even Frances looked tired to death. Why couldn’t it be like it had been before the war – before her father died? If he’d still been here he would have sorted them all out, she thought, and felt the ache that had never quite gone away stir inside her. ‘I expect he’s just upset over Daniel.’

  ‘I’m really glad you came,’ Alice said, as she served Emily a slice of her seed cake and refilled her cup with tea. ‘It’s been good having a long talk to you, and I feel much better.’

  ‘I know everyone thinks we have to accept that Dan has gone,’ Emily told her, ‘but I’m like you, Alice, I don’t feel that he is dead. I know something is wrong, but I can’t believe he won’t come back to us one day.’

  A tear trickled down Alice’s cheek, but she brushed it away with the back of her hand. ‘Thank you for saying that, Emily. Mum thinks I’m laying up trouble for myself by refusing to accept it, but I can’t believe he’s gone – I just can’t.’

  ‘Well, you may be right. You hang on to that thought until we know for certain,’ Emily said, and reached across to kiss her cheek. ‘How are you, love? You look as if you’re blooming. Frances got very tired towards the end of her term, but you seem to be carrying well.’

  ‘I am,’ Alice said, and patted her stomach. ‘He’s very good. I’m determined to have a boy for Dan. I was hardly sick at all, and I haven’t had some of the troubles other girls have. That poor Millie Richardson up the lane, for instance – she’s having her third in three years and she looks terrible, all kinds of problems. Mum has gone up to her today to see if she can do anything to help her.’

  ‘Is she having another?’ Emily shook her head over what had been a scandal in the village for ages. ‘She isn’t much older than you, Alice. Who is the father this time?’

  ‘She says she doesn’t know, but Mum swears it’s Millie’s father. She thinks he’s to blame for all her children.’

  ‘That’s horrible,’ Emily said. ‘He should be ashamed – his own daughter! Someone should tell the police.’

  ‘That’s what Mum thinks,’ Alice agreed. ‘But Dad told her she isn’t to do it and nobody else wants to get involved either. Everyone knows what’s going on, but the poor girl doesn’t have much now and if he was tried and sent to prison it would be even worse for her.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose it might,’ Emily agreed. ‘But it isn’t right, Alice. You would think her mother would do something – or her brothers.’

  ‘Maybe they think it keeps it in the family,’ Alice suggested. ‘But her last child isn’t right in the head. I think it’s time someone did something, but I doubt if anyone will. Especially at the moment. They all have too much to worry them. Sally Johnson’s eldest son was killed at Tobruk earlier this year and now her youngest has joined the Army.’

  ‘Oh, the poor woman,’ Emily sympathized. It wasn’t just their family that had suffered; everyone was having their own troubles. ‘It’s this rotten war. At the start they thought it wouldn’t last long, but it just keeps on, and we don’t seem to get anywhere.’

  ‘Oh, don’t,’ Alice begged. ‘Please don’t talk about it. I try not to think about it more than I have to.’

  Emily understood how she felt. Alice must be miserable over not knowing what had happened to Dan, but she was being very brave, facing it in the only way she knew how.

  ‘Let’s talk about the baby then,’ Emily said. ‘What about a christening gown? Amelia told me there was one in the attic I could have. I’ve brought it for you to see. It is beautiful old lace, though it will need a bit of blue to make it white again. I offered it to Frances first but she has made her own so I thought you might like it?’

  ‘But won’t you want it for your own children – when you have them?’ Alice blushed faintly. ‘Sorry, perhaps I shouldn’t have asked that . . .’

  ‘It doesn’t bother me,’ Emily said. ‘Seeing little Mark and you having Dan’s baby makes me a bit broody, but it isn’t likely to happen for a while. I’ve accepted that and I have lots of other things to occupy me.’

  ‘I should love to have the gown – if you’re sure?’

  ‘Yes, of course. I thought I would ask first, but I’ll drop it in tomorrow before I leave.’

  ‘Are you leaving so soon?’

  ‘I only came for the weekend,’ Emily said. ‘I’ve seen Frances and the baby, and you – and I’m going to Henry’s for dinner this evening.’

  ‘He hasn’t looked at all well lately,’ Alice said, with a frown. ‘And Connor has been up to a few tricks recently. He and Peter were in trouble with Mr Wright last week. They let his boar out and he had a problem getting it away from the sows – and they do other things that would give Mum a fit if she knew.’

  ‘What kind of things?’

  ‘They go and lie in the ditches around the drome to count the planes in and out,’ Alice told her. ‘Sometimes they are out until it’s almost light. I caught Peter sneaking in the other night. He pleaded with me not to tell Dad and I haven’t, because he would get a thrashing if I did. But it could be dangerous for them if the drome was bombed, and it has been a couple of times, although they were daylight raids and didn’t do much damage really.’

  ‘Frances told me he was getting out of hand. I think he’s upset over Daniel.’

  ‘Yes,
I am sure he is,’ Alice agreed. ‘I’ve tried to talk to him, but he just backs off and gives me an accusing look, as if he were blaming me.’

  ‘I’m sure he doesn’t blame you. He just feels miserable,’ Emily said. ‘He will be coming to Henry’s with me this evening so perhaps I can talk to him then – not that he will listen to me.’

  ‘I think he listened to Daniel more than anyone else,’ Alice said. ‘And I know Dan is fond of him. He talked about Connor living with us until he was old enough to get his own place.’

  ‘Perhaps that’s what is upsetting him,’ Emily said. ‘I know he resented Frances getting engaged and married so soon after Father died – and he said Henry and Clay wanted their own way on the farm. It wasn’t so bad when I was at home but now . . . he must feel abandoned by his family.’

  ‘Yes, perhaps he does,’ Alice agreed. ‘But he is always welcome here, Emily. Mum would let him share Peter’s room if he wanted to stay, though he’s got his own room with Frances, of course.’

  ‘I don’t think he has ever felt close to Frances. I was closer to him, and so was Dan. But it might help him if you told him he could stay here sometimes, Alice. He is always talking about you and your seed cake, so he obviously likes being here.’

  ‘He will be welcome to live with us when Daniel comes home.’

  Emily nodded. Alice was determined to be positive, and perhaps she was right. After all, no one knew for sure where Daniel was or what had happened to him.

  ‘You come now,’ Mikkos said, grabbing Daniel’s arm. ‘The Germans come, we hide in the cellars.’

  It wasn’t the first time they’d received a visit from a German patrol. Mikkos and his friends had been causing some trouble in the area, blowing up a train carrying German supplies, and attacking a convoy. Daniel had helped in the attack on the convoy. He had enjoyed being a part of it, but he knew they were playing on dangerous ground. You didn’t do things like this without risk. After all, they were breaking the terms of the Greek surrender, and the consequences would be harsh if they were caught.

  ‘We are endangering your family staying here,’ Daniel said, as Mikkos took him down into the dark cellars that connected to tunnels that ran beneath the mountains for some distance. Wine had been stored here before the war and it was very cold but dry. ‘We should find somewhere else to run the group from.’

  ‘They know the risks,’ Mikkos said. ‘Besides, the Germans are stupid. They will never find us here.’

  It was true enough, because the tunnels emerged at a secret location further down the hillside, and by the time a patrol found their hiding place they would be long gone – but the Stavros family were left behind at the ancient farmhouse to bear the brunt of the German anger.

  Daniel knew that other men and women had been shot for helping the saboteurs. He just hoped it wouldn’t happen to the family he had begun to know and like.

  Sometimes, when he thought of his own family, of Alice and the way it had been on their wedding night, he wished that he had simply abandoned that damned truck and caught a lift with the retreating troops. He wondered how his wife was coping, and whether they had told her he was missing. What would she do if she thought he wasn’t coming home? His worst nightmare was that one day he would get home and discover that she had found someone else.

  ‘Frances has been worried about you,’ Emily said, as they were having dinner that evening in the big warm kitchen of Henry’s ancient farmhouse. It had huge pine dressers at either end and a homely, comfortable feeling. ‘Is your cough any better?’

  ‘No, he sometimes keeps us awake all night with it,’ Mary said, and pulled a face at her husband. ‘I’ve tried making him go to the doctor but he won’t. Stubborn as a mule, our Henry.’

  ‘I can buy a bottle of cough medicine from the chemist for all the good it will do,’ Henry said, and frowned. ‘It’s just a chesty thing I picked up last winter, Mary. It will clear up in time.’

  Emily thought it ought to have cleared up now that the weather was so much better, but there was no point in nagging her brother.

  ‘Is everything all right with the farm?’ she asked. ‘Any forms you want me to fill in for you before I leave?’

  ‘Things are all right for the moment. Dan sorted us out for a while. There are a couple of forms you could do for me,’ Henry said, giving her a grateful look. ‘And you could write to the bank for me, tell them I can’t manage to pay all the interest this month but I’ll make it up when the harvest comes in.’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ Emily agreed. ‘I haven’t seen Clay for months – is he managing all right?’

  ‘I don’t know and I don’t want to,’ Henry said, and looked annoyed. ‘He took advantage of us and I haven’t forgiven him for it, Emily. That land was the best we had and if we’d kept it all together we might have broken even this year. He got off scot-free and it isn’t fair.’

  ‘Now you’ve got him off,’ Mary said bringing them a cup of tea. ‘We don’t mention Clay in this house, Emily. It’s off-limits for Henry.’

  ‘Sorry.’ Emily got up to help her sister-in-law carry the dirty plates to the scullery for washing. ‘I thought that was all sorted out?’

  ‘It never will be as far as Henry is concerned,’ Mary said. ‘He blames Clay and Margaret for all his troubles, though that isn’t quite fair. To be honest, Henry isn’t a manager. He works all the hours God gives, but he can’t handle the business side. Your father was the one who did all that.’

  ‘Yes, I see,’ Emily said. ‘It isn’t easy for Henry with all these restrictions and regulations, Mary. But if he can hang on it will get better when the war is over.’

  ‘If he can,’ Mary said, and looked worried. ‘I suppose he’ll manage somehow – but sometimes I think it will be the death of him – and then what shall we do?’

  Emily didn’t know how to answer her. It was clear that things were far from right with her brother and his family, but there wasn’t a great deal she could do about it at the moment. Perhaps she would have more luck with her younger brother.

  ‘We are all worried about you, Connor,’ Emily said, as they walked back to the house later that evening. ‘Frances, Alice, and me – and you don’t want to give Henry more grief, do you? He already has too much to do.’

  ‘You might have been concerned, and perhaps Alice,’ Connor said, ‘but the others don’t care what I do. Frances is only bothered about the baby, and Henry has Mary and his children.’

  ‘But you know he is worried about the farm, don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah – that’s Clay’s and Margaret’s fault,’ Connor said. ‘She was greedy after Dad died, and Clay helped her. He wanted her knickers off . . . that’s why he took her side.’

  ‘Connor!’ Emily stopped and looked at him. ‘Where did you get that from?’

  ‘I heard one of the men talking to Henry about it. They saw Daniel and Clay having a fight and it was over Margaret – because Clay made her do it against her will and she made Daniel pay her money to keep quiet.’

  ‘That’s a wicked thing to say, Connor!’

  ‘It’s the truth. Henry told him he’d known something was going on and made him promise not to repeat it to anyone else.’

  ‘Are you sure you heard right?’

  ‘Yeah. I was behind the hedge. They didn’t know I was there. I was trying to catch a frog and I’d got down in the ditch, and I heard it all. Clay raped Margaret and she was going to have him arrested so Dan paid her to let him off.’

  Emily was silent. She’d always known that Dan had changed his mind about the house for a reason, and she’d suspected it had something to do with Margaret and Clay, but she hadn’t realized it was anything like this.

  ‘That is horrible,’ she said at last. ‘I don’t know if it is true, but even if it is we don’t want anyone else to know. I want you to promise me that you will never mention it to anyone – not even Peter.’

  ‘I haven’t,’ Connor said. ‘I wouldn’t care about Clay but I thought it mi
ght get Dan into trouble.’

  ‘Yes, it might,’ Emily agreed. ‘If he covered up something like that . . . but it may not be true, Connor. You know what people are for tales in a village.’

  ‘This one is true,’ Connor said. ‘But I shan’t tell. I care about Dan.’ He looked at his sister and she saw a suspicion of tears in his eyes. ‘Everyone says he’s dead but he isn’t, is he?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Emily admitted. ‘Alice doesn’t think so and I’m praying he isn’t, Connor. It is possible that he is a prisoner of war or something. It is possible that we shall hear he has turned up one of these days.’

  ‘Dan said I could live with him and Alice when he came home.’

  ‘I know, Alice told me something like that,’ Emily said. ‘Are you unhappy living with Frances?’

  ‘I don’t mind it,’ Connor said. ‘But I would rather be with Dan or you.’

  ‘Would you like to come and stay with me in the holidays? I’m setting up a home for wounded soldiers and we need lots of help. Would you come and help me for a few weeks, Connor?’

  ‘Can I really?’ He stared at her, and she saw his eagerness.

  ‘Yes, of course you can. There are lots of things you can do if you are willing to work.’

  ‘I don’t mind working. I used to help Dad on the land, and sometimes I give Henry a hand on the farm – but he nags all the time.’

  ‘I shan’t nag you,’ Emily promised. ‘But I shall be grateful if you can help me during the holidays.’

  ‘Thanks, Emmy,’ Connor said, and grinned at her. ‘And I’ll try not to worry Frances if I can help it.’

  Emily smiled as they started walking again. ‘Well, I don’t suppose you do anything very terrible,’ she said. ‘Is it fun watching for the planes to go out and come back?’

  Conner gave her a conspiratorial look. ‘We know which are Peter’s lodgers,’ he told her, ‘and they waggle their wings to us when they come back so that we know they are safe.’

  ‘That’s nice,’ Emily said. ‘Our home will be ready very soon now and I dare say you will like meeting our soldiers when you come and stay . . .’