Colton pulls me along, and as he drops down into the massive couch and pulls me down on top of him, I meet his eyes, knowing that this is one of those things that I can’t keep to myself. I have to tell him about this. “There’s something you need to know,” I tell him, dreading having this conversation but knowing that I need to prepare him … prepare me for the worst.
Chapter 10
My feet drag, one after another as I find myself walking through the halls of Bellevue Springs Private School early on Tuesday morning. It almost feels ridiculous being here with everything else that’s been going on. I should be locked up at home in a padded cell where Nic or the Wolves would never be able to get me.
I spent the night talking it through with Colton. To say that he was less than thrilled about the call I’d received from Christian yesterday is an understatement—a massive understatement. I’m surprised that he didn’t lock me in the wine-cellar dungeon just for good measure. It was hard enough just getting out the door this morning. He insisted on driving me, but I made the argument that if they were to come to the school, I’d have a better chance of escape if I had a car here with me. He tried, but there’s no arguing with logic.
I’m not going to lie, the second I drove out of the massive gate this morning, the paranoia swept over me again. I’ve been looking over my shoulder with every step I take. Colton has already called me twice to check in with me. Though I have to admit, I think that’s going to be the new normal now. Not that I mind because, for those few minutes, I feel that familiar safety net wrap around me.
Walking down the hall feels surreal. Everybody is just going about their day as though my world isn’t falling to pieces, yet with every eye that wanders my way, I can't help but wonder if they know. Are they staring at my stomach? Do they know a rapist knocked me up? Hell, do they know a fucking gang is looking for me so they can beat the living shit out of me? How simple their lives must be.
I can only imagine the bullshit rumors that will spread about me. They’ll be worse than the ones Casey and Cora tried to hit me with a few weeks ago, only this time, it’ll be true, and it’ll hurt like a blade slicing through my skin, a bit like what I did to this baby’s father.
By the time I reach my locker, Hendrix is already there bursting from the seams with a cheesy as fuck grin on her face. “Girl, where the hell have you been?” she starts, diving into me and wrapping me in a quick, warm hug. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you since Friday. Have you been sick or something?”
“Or something,” I grumble, glancing away to avoid looking at the confusion on her face.
She stares at me for a quick moment before shrugging it off and putting it down to one of my many weird quirks. “Anyway,” she continues, backing up a step to give me space to open my locker. “Has your mom said anything about my dad? I swear, he’s so smitten with her. Our plan totally worked. We should have hooked them up ages ago.”
I glance back at her, trying my hardest to give her the kind of enthusiasm that she’s looking for. “Umm … yeah, definitely. They’re great together.”
“I know, right. It’s like they’re soulmates or something.”
I resist rolling my eyes. I’d hardly skip right to soulmates. They’ve been on one date, which only came about because we forced it on them. I mean, I totally get it. It's insta love that burns so bright that it’s impossible to ignore, but I’d like to see what happens six months down the track, a year or maybe two. If things are still shining brightly, then yeah, I’ll consider the whole soulmates thing for them. Call me a Debby Downer, but there’s a big difference between being happy for my mom and finding the love of her life after one date.
After getting my books out of my locker, I close it and lean up against it only to find Drix staring at me. “What’s up with you?” she asks. “You seem really off. Like you’re not even excited about it at all.”
I let out a sigh. “I’m sorry. I am excited. I think it’s great that they’re hitting it off. I’ve just had a really big few days, and I’m kinda struggling to focus on everything. My head is just … a bit of a mess.”
“Oh,” she says, looping her arm over my shoulder and dragging me across the hall to where Jess is just arriving. “You should have said something. Do you need to talk about it? I know your life is all bat shit crazy, so I can’t promise to keep up, but I can promise to ooh and ahh at all the right times, especially if it has anything to do with those tattooed gang guys that showed up here last week.”
I groan at her attraction to Nic and Sebastian. I mean, I get it, I totally do. But if she knew the kinds of things those boys got up to, she’d be horrified that she even looked their way. “Those tattooed gang guys are not the kind of guys you want to be getting yourself involved with, trust me. Besides, aren’t you screwing around with Charlie?”
Jess looks over at us as she finishes in her locker. “Wait. What’s going on?”
Drix smirks and leans against the cold, metal lockers. “Don’t change the topic,” she warns me before glancing back at Jess. “Ocean here was just about to tell us what the hell has been going on over the last few days.”
I shake my head, considering for the briefest second actually talking to them about all of this. In reality, doing that would only drag them down into a world that would break girls like them. Besides, even the slightest whisper of a teen pregnancy and I’ll have every school in Bellevue Springs knowing my business before lunch. “I wasn’t about to tell you guys shit,” I laugh before leaning in. “It’s gang business, and you know how they get about bitches who squeal.”
Both their eyes go wide. “Oh, shit,” Drix says. “Are you serious? Do they tell you all that stuff? Fuck, I didn’t realize you were like … in with them. I just figured they were trying to get in your pants.”
If only she knew that I wasn’t even referring to the same gang that she’s thinking of, but that’s something that I'll never tell. It’s one thing for her to know about the Widows, but if she was to start snooping around the Wolves, she could end up in trouble.
“They’re just friends,” I tell her, referring to the guys she’s actually thinking of. “At least, usually, they’re just friends. Right now, they’re all on my shit list.”
“Even the guy who came storming into the cafeteria? Because let me tell you, I don’t think he thought you guys were just friends.”
I look her straight in the eyes. “Nic is the worst of them,” I tell her. “Stay far, far away from him. He’s going to rot in hell for the shit that he’s done.”
Both of their brows drop, picking up on the pain in my tone. “Are you okay?” Jess asks. “Is something more going on that we should know about?”
I press my lips into a tight line and shake my head. "No, it's nothing," I tell them, even though referring to Nic's sins as 'nothing' feels wrong. They're absolutely everything. “I can’t talk about it. Just know that when I get snappy today, it’s not you guys. I’m just trying to work through some shit.”
“Are you sure?” Drix questions, lowering her voice and stepping into me to keep our conversation private from the rest of the students lingering in the hallway. “Is there anything we can do to make it better?”
“You can change the topic,” I say, desperate to move this right along. “What’s going on with Charlie? Are you guys still smooshing your bits together?”
Drix gives me a blank stare as Jess tries to smother a laugh. “Do you really have to say it like that? You make it sound gross. What Charlie and I have is … romantic.”
“Romantic?” I laugh. “Charlie is a lot of things, but romantic is not one of them.”
Hendrix groans and rolls her eyes before a wide grin stretches across her face and she gets all flustered. “Alright, fine. He’s not romantic at all. He’s a total dork, like a super dork with this cheesy, but sexy grin, and when his eyes sparkle it’s like a warning that I’m about to get my world rocked. He’s …”
“He's Charlie,” I finish for her, completel
y understanding where she’s coming from. “You really like him.”
“I mean, I don’t really like him. I like him just the normal amount.”
Jess scoffs. “Uh-huh. If you liked him the normal amount, you wouldn’t have called me every night for the past four nights telling me all about the guy, and how he accidentally brushed past your hand, and it gave you butterflies, and how—”
“Okaaaaay,” Drix cuts in, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she stares at Jess. “That’s more than enough out of you.” She looks back at me. “Don’t listen to her. It’s been too long since she got off with an actual penis that she’s starting to hear things.”
Jess rolls her eyes and steps around us. “Alright, bitches. I’m out of here. You two can suck my massive dick.” We laugh as she goes, but she stops and turns back, aiming a daring smirk at Drix. “For the record, you’re totally in love with Charlie, and I don’t need to have a plowed pussy to tell.”
Drix stares with her mouth hanging open as I howl with laughter, feeling as though that one comment was exactly what I needed to get my head back in the game.
I don’t even know why I’m still bothering with school. It feels like a colossal waste of time at this point. It’s not like I’m going to have time for college once I have a baby. Not to mention, if things don’t pan out how I hope, I’m going to be with the Wolves for a while. I highly doubt that they’re all about having a higher education. Sure, they might put me through a few training courses, but that would be more like, ‘How to Kill Quickly and Efficiently 101’ or ‘Gutting: The How To Guide.’
The bell sounds and Drix loops her arm through mine. “So, things really are happening with Charlie?” I ask in all seriousness as we start making our way down the hall toward our homeroom classes.
She shrugs her shoulders. “I mean, I guess. Nothing official has really happened, but he’s coming around every day and wanting to see me all the time. He texts me before bed and sends me ridiculous little things when I’m not feeling so great. He treats me like I’m his, but you know, nothing official.”
“It sounds pretty official to me,” I tell her. “Have you talked to him about it?”
Drix scrunches her face. “I tried,” she admits. “You know, that day you were on the phone and he showed up. We talked a bit, but then I kinda jumped him, and then I forgot what fucking day it was so …”
I glance across at her. “I could talk to him if you want me to,” I suggest. “See what’s going through his head right now. I have a particular gift for getting information out of that one.”
“No,” she laughs. “We’re not kids anymore. I can do it, but I just … I don’t know. I’m kinda scared that he’s going to say that we’re just friends and having fun. I mean, isn’t that what he said to you?”
“Not exactly,” I say with a cringe, feeling slightly awkward. “It was the other way around.”
“Oh, so you’re the whore in that situation?”
“No,” I laugh. “We were both whores just looking for a little fun, but he could tell that Colton had his eye on me and he just wanted to nail me down before Colton could steal his little toy away, but I’m not about that.” I glance over at her to find her hanging on every single word. “Look, to be completely honest, it wasn’t real between Charlie and me. It was just some innocent flirting, and he wanted to hang onto it because it was the start of our friendship, but we’ve both grown since then, and the friendship is still intact. It’s over, like so over that I hardly even remember it happening.”
“You’re sure? There’s not even a hint of feeling left inside you wishing you could take another stab at him?”
I shake my head. “Not even a little. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I saw him, and I’m pretty sure that makes me a really shitty friend.”
“It does,” she agrees with a teasing sparkle hitting her eye. We turn the corner, and she instantly unhooks her arm from mine as we near her homeroom class. “Alright, I’ll see you during the first break. Try not to whore yourself out while I’m gone.”
“Ha. Ha,” I say blankly, continuing on past as she whips herself into the room.
I keep moving down the hallway, but for some reason, find myself stopping as I pass the library. Students bump into me as I stare into the massive room. I shouldn't be late for homeroom, but I'm edging forward anyway, knowing every step in the wrong direction is bringing me closer to detention.
I walk past the front desk and the quiet study area before slipping past the rows and rows of books until I finally find the office at the back. I glance up at the door and scan my eyes over the name. ‘Miss Davies.’
What am I doing here? I should walk away. This isn’t any of my business, and not to mention, if Christian knew I was standing at her door, he’d probably be the first to get in on jumping me.
Taking a breath, I raise my fist and gently knock on the door.
My hand falls back to my side, and within a second, her too chirpy voice calls through her office. “Come in.”
Taking hold of the door handle, I push my way through to her office and watch as her brows raise as she takes me in. “Ocean, what a surprise,” she says. “How can I help you?”
I glance around her office, not really sure how to say what I need to say. “I, uhh … I was hoping we could talk.”
Miss Davies settles into her chair and leans back, watching me through curious eyes. “Is everything alright? Did all go well with your college applications?”
“Yeah, umm … that’s all good. I got in, but then I got rejected for student loans, so that’s a whole other issue I need to figure out. Not that it really matters anymore,” I grumble under my breath, watching the excitement come to her face before it promptly fades away in confusion. “But that’s not why I’m here.”
“Oh?” she questions. “Well, my door is always open for my students. What do you need?”
“To talk, I guess,” I say. “I kinda did something incredibly stupid.”
“Go on …”
I swallow past the dread sitting in my stomach. “Well, the last time we spoke, I kinda lied to you.”
Her eyes narrow in suspicion. “About?”
“You asked me about my father, and at the time, I didn’t realize that the man I knew was the same one that you were referring to.”
She gives me a warm smile as if she had known all along. “He really is.”
“Yeah,” I say, giving her an awkward smile. “But I was also Dominic Garcia’s best friend, and over the past few weeks, a lot of bullshit has come to light.” Her eyes darken at his name, it’s clear that she knows exactly who he is, but this seems like so much more than gang affiliations. This is a deep hatred that comes from something horrifying, but it’s not my business to ask, so I continue. “I was cornered by Mikhail Russo and a few of his guys in an alleyway. They branded me with their mark. He said I was one of his and will be brought into the family. At first, I was terrified because that meant turning my back on Nic, but then I discovered that Nic was the person who killed my father.”
She sucks in another breath, almost struggling to hold herself together. “Oh, no, no, no. I know where this is going. Please tell me that you didn’t go to the Wolves and get yourself involved in this mess?”
I press my lips together, regretting having to tell her this. “I did.”
“Shit,” she grunts, propping her elbows onto her desk and hanging her head. “What did my father do to you?”
“Your father?” I grunt, whipping my head up to meet her eyes. “What are you talking about?”
Miss Davies presses her lips into a tight line, giving me a sad and pained stare. “Mikhail, Ocean. Mikhail is my father.”
I stare at her blankly. “What… What are you talking about? I came here to tell you that I met Christian and tell you how much he loves and misses you.”
Her eyes go wide. “You what?”
We both sit in silence, lost in the revelations until she finally lets out a
breath. “So, you’re a Wolf, and you met my big brother?”
“Yeah,” I say, unsure why I feel so shaky. “He’s kinda awesome and told me all about you, though I have to admit, it took me a while to put the puzzle pieces together, but he misses you, like a lot. He didn’t actually admit that, but I could tell.”
She presses her lips together and gently shakes her head. “Then my brother is a better actor than I gave him credit for,” she tells me. “He hasn’t come to visit in over two years. I highly doubt that he’s missing me.”
“He told me that,” I murmur. “He said that he stays away on purpose because of how well you’re doing out here. He was so proud when he told me how you made it through college and have this big job at a fancy school. He’s scared that if he was to come and see you, you might get close to him again, and he doesn’t want to take away from everything you’ve achieved.”
Her gaze drops to her hands. “If I got close again, my father would try to bring me back.”
I nod, completely understanding. “You never mentioned that Russo was your father when we talked about it last.”
She laughs. “It’s not exactly something that I shout from the rooftops. I had my name officially changed to my mother’s maiden name so that when I started going for jobs, I’d have no visible ties to gangs.” I nod, and she continues. “Look, Ocean. I don't envy the position that you’re in. Gang life is not for the faint-hearted, but you’re strong. There’s no way out for you now, so I can’t help you, nor will I allow myself to get involved, but I can promise to be a shoulder to cry on when things get hard—because they will. But I think you already know that.”
I nod and rise from my seat, keeping my eyes on her as I go. “Thanks, I should really get to homeroom before I get in even more trouble.” I murmur, truly appreciating her gesture. “It’ll be nice to talk to someone about it that actually understands.”
“Trust me, I know the feeling,” she laughs, getting up and walking around her desk. She instantly pulls me into a tight hug. “I’m rooting for you, Ocean. Play it smart and don’t do anything stupid. It’d be a real shame if you were to get hurt. This world … it’s brutal.”
Ride or Die: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 4) Page 10