‘I love you,’ he tells me.
‘Love you too, asshole.’
He grins wide, and as the priest gets on with the ceremony, I turn my complete attention back to the front, not wanting to miss a single second of it. I focus on every little bit of what’s being said, and forty minutes later, tears are running down my face as Mom and Roman say their vows, declaring their undying love for one another and proclaiming a lifetime spent at each other's side.
I’ve never seen anything so raw and beautiful. To me, what I have with Colton is as raw as it gets, yet looking at Mom so completely in love just proves that it can always get deeper. And while Colton and I have never felt so close, we’re still just teenagers, and there’s so much that we still don’t even understand about ourselves.
The priest announces Mr. and Mrs. Jennings for the first time, telling Roman that he can finally kiss his wife. With a sigh of relief, Mom falls into his arms, and he kisses her deeply while Hendrix is screaming in my ear, cheering them on. “FUCK YEAH, DAD. GET IT!”
Laughter bubbles through the church, and although Mom would be in a world of embarrassment, she’s secretly loving every second of it.
Warmth spreads through me, and as the joy settles into my soul, I can't help but look back at the four boys standing at the back of the church. Only as I do, all I find are their backs as they make their way out.
Devastation pours through me. I would have loved to run into Nic’s arms just once and tell him that even though Colton and I have more between us than he and I ever did, he'll always be a brother to me. I need him to know how much he’s hurt me, but I also need him to know that whatever happens between the Wolves and the Widows, I'll always love him.
He’s hurting, and I know deep down inside that he regrets taking my father's life because, in the end, it was the catalysts that drove me out of Breakers Flats. I try to remind myself that them being here was already a massive risk on their part, and asking them to stay would be stupid.
I’m the leader of the Wolves, for fuck’s sake. If anyone found out they were here, my loyalty would be put into question, and I guess the same could be said for them.
Mom and Roman get busy signing the registry, and before I know it, they’re making their way back up the aisle with their guests on their feet applauding for this new part of their lives.
The bridal party begins making their way up the aisle, following the bride and groom. As I pass Colton, he instantly falls in step with me. His hand drops to my lower back, discreetly gliding over the silk of my gown until it’s firmly over my ass.
I lean into his touch, wanting it so bad but as I raise my chin and smile up at him, the words out of my mouth have his eyes bugging out of his head. “The priest is watching you.”
Colton’s hand falls away from my ass so fast that it’s comical. “Oh, fuck,” he grunts, his eyes wide and face filled with horror. He instantly glances back over his shoulder to where the priest still stands in the center of the pulpit, sure enough, with his eyes on Colton. “I’m going straight to hell.”
Hendrix laughs behind us as Charlie falls in beside her, his arm dropping around her waist. “I don’t know about hell,” she tells Colton. “But I have a feeling that I know where else you two will be going. I caught what you told her at the beginning of the ceremony.”
“What’d he say?” Charlie grumbles as Colton turns to me with fire in his eyes. He grins wide, and while he doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to. I know exactly what he’s thinking, and damn it, I’m more than thinking it myself.
We break free from the church, and I instantly find Mom sinking into Roman’s arms and kissing him blindly. The thought that I should give them a moment of privacy enters my mind, but fuck it, I’m too excited.
I barge into mom and pull her away from her new husband. After all, he gets her for the rest of his life, and all I’m asking for is a quick hug. I’m sure Roman will manage without her for two seconds.
Mom instantly pulls me into her arms, squeezing tight and holding me there for a lot longer than the two seconds that Roman would have been willing to give. But nonetheless, I hold onto her with everything I have. “Oh, honey,” she says, desperately trying to hold back her tears of joy. “That was one of the most spectacular moments of my life.”
“I know,” I breathe, struggling with my own emotions. “It was beautiful. I’m so happy for you. You have it all.”
Mom pulls back, taking my shoulders as she glances at Roman, who’s currently holding his daughter as though she’s the most precious thing in the world. Feeling Mom’s stare, he glances up and gives her a warm smile that instantly hits his eyes. “I really do,” she tells me. “Now, how are you feeling? That was a long time to be standing on your feet in your condition. Are you feeling alright?”
I roll my eyes. “Mom, I’m only ten and a half weeks, I can handle standing for a while. Besides, you shouldn’t be worried about me today. This is all you. Today is your day so tell me what I can do to make it even better? Would you like me to grab you a glass of champagne so we can start celebrating?”
Mom’s eyes light up. “You know what,” she says. “That sounds like a great idea.”
With that, I scurry off and two hours later, photos are done. We’re standing inside the most magnificent and glamorous manor this town has to offer, surrounded by impeccable gardens and manicured lawns.
Fairy lights cover the roof, creating a chandelier pattern as the rest of the hall is completely decked out and looking like an absolute fairytale.
Mom and Roman stand out on the dance floor, and as the music changes to an upbeat song, I can hardly resist the hand that Colton offers me. I know that tonight is going to be one of the best nights of my life.
Colton leads me out onto the dance floor, and as all the other couples come to join us, I fold into his arms and let him sweep me away. I desperately wish that my boys could still be here to enjoy this incredible night with me. But as it is, I have everyone else I could possibly need.
Milo and Spencer are hiding in the bathroom getting it on. Hendrix is running around after Charlie, stopping him from telling all the wedding guests about how he screwed her while we were supposed to be doing photos. Jess has been flirting with some guy who looks like an investment banker, and who could possibly be old enough to be her father. All while Casey and Cora are taking advantage of the open bar.
How could anything ever get better than this?
It’s bittersweet because I know that once this is all over and my world returns to normal, things aren't going to be quite so easy. Nic is coming for me, and it’s going to be an all-out war, so why not enjoy these last precious moments that I have with the people I love before it all turns to shit?
Chapter 29
I sit in the doctor’s office, my knee bouncing with nerves as he goes on and on about the ins and outs of the paternity test. I can’t believe that it’s already been eleven weeks. This whole thing is already going so fast, and it’s only freaking me out more. I mean, with the wedding a few days ago and all the lead up to it, I’ve hardly had a second to actually take it all in.
I still have no idea what I want to do. I’m hoping that I’ll just lay down one night, and it’ll all just hit me like some kind of epiphany, though I doubt that I’ll be that lucky.
This test should help me, though. If it’s Colton’s baby, then it’s simple, we keep it and work out how to be parents. But if it really is Jude’s, it’s going to make everything so much harder. Am I capable of loving a child who was the product of rape? Am I able to look at his or her little face and see past Jude’s features, or will I resent it and end up doing more harm than good?
Maybe it’s better off without me. Maybe Jaren was onto something about adoption. I'm sure there is an incredible family out there somewhere just waiting for their little bundle of joy to come along. But will I regret giving it up?
Fuck me. This is too hard. Why can’t someone else just make the decision for me? I miss be
ing a child and having everything sorted out for me. I've never had to worry about such massive things like this before. What if I make the wrong decision?
The doctor fastens a tourniquet around my arm and asks me to start pumping my fist. I try to look anywhere but at the needle he’s about to poke through my veins. Why does taking blood always have to suck so bad? It’s not even that bad, yet no matter what, it always seems to be the worst thing that could ever happen. That and getting a shot, I hate it.
Colton squeezes my hand, and the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that he’s next in line for the DNA stab. Though, knowing my luck, he’ll probably handle it like a pro.
An unexpected yawn tears through me as the doctor does his thing, reminding me that even though the wedding was two days ago, I still haven't had a proper chance to catch up on all the lost sleep. It was such an incredible night. We partied well into the morning, way after the bride and groom had already called it a night and had gone off to bed.
I still can’t get over it. The night was magnificent.
I feel a slight pinch in my arm, and I jump while trying desperately not to move and end up with a needle poking out of my elbow. I try to focus on anything that will distract me.
Ahh, the alphabet backwards.
Z, Y, X … um, W, U … V? Fuck, it’s V then U. Why is this so hard? It really shouldn’t be.
“Okay, Oceania. All done,” the doctor says, quickly pressing a cotton ball to my arm and holding it there to stop any bleeding. He grins at me with a teasing smirk. “That wasn’t so hard now, was it?”
I scoff. He wasn’t the one trying to do the alphabet backwards. I bet he couldn’t just recite it like his breakfast order at McDonalds.
I get a pretty pink bandaid to place over the tiny pin prick, and as the doctor writes all my information on the vial, I find myself nervously bouncing my leg again. “How long is it going to take to get the results?” I ask.
The doctor glances up at me before focusing back down at the vials of blood. “It can take anywhere between two days to a week, depending on how busy they are at the lab.”
Colton raises a brow, catching the doctor’s gaze. “I’m assuming they can be persuaded to put a rush on it.”
“They could,” he says. “But you’ll then receive a rushed result. I’m assuming in this instance, you’re wanting a result that has been thoroughly checked and checked again.”
Colton nods and awkwardly looks at me, not liking when his money doesn’t get him what he wants, and I can’t help but laugh. Colton is such a badass, always on point and at the top of his game, but when he’s sulking, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
I really hope this baby is his.
We finish in the doctor's office ten minutes later, and Colton gets me to school just in time for the bell to ring. I rush in after giving him a quick kiss and have to bypass my locker to make it to my homeroom in time.
The day drags on, and by the time lunch rolls around, I’ve had two missed calls from Christian and three texts telling me that Nic was seen by our men in Bellevue Springs. So, I’m not surprised when I walk out to find him standing in the school parking lot, leaning against his car as though absolutely nothing has changed between us.
The second Nic lays his eyes on me, he pushes off his car, and my heart begins to race. I was expecting plenty of things today, but having Nic show up at my school wasn’t exactly one of them.
Glancing back over my shoulder, I check that no one is around before I slowly start making my way toward him. This could be a huge mistake, but he won't hurt me. At least, I don't think he would. Surely, after everything we’ve been through together, he still feels that need to protect me. Though, he sure as hell didn't feel it when he left me covered in bruises after dragging me down three flights of stairs.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, creeping towards him while making sure to keep my distance. I fight the urge to throw myself into his arms, no matter how much I wish that everything could be as it was before. That can never happen now, way too much has gone down between us. Not to mention, the fucker killed my father in cold blood.
Nic takes a step toward me, his eyes dark and deadly, no sign of the man he used to be. “Call it off, Ocean,” he tells me.
I shake my head, realizing that this is a business meeting, not a social call. “I can’t do that,” I tell him. “And you made sure of that.”
His lip twitches ever so slightly, the only hint that our situation is affecting him. “You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re going to get yourself killed.”
“Like you give a shit about that,” I snap, though deep down, I know he does. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t have shown his face at the wedding, and honestly, hating him would have been so much easier if he hadn’t come to show his support.
Nic scoffs, just as I knew he would. “You know that’s not fucking true,” he spits back at me. “I’m the only fucking one who’s had your back, right from the start. I was going to fucking marry you.”
“Oh, come on,” I all but laugh. “Now you know that’s not true. You haven't had my back since the second I moved to Bellevue Springs. You’ve been against me, always fighting, resenting me for moving on and allowing Colton into my life. Oh, and have you also forgotten that you killed my father because I sure as hell haven’t. I’m pretty sure that someone who had my back wouldn’t even consider hurting my family like that, no matter who they are.”
He takes a big step toward me, putting him right in front of me and becoming the leader of the Widows, not the Nic I grew up with. “Call. It. Off.”
I stand tall, raising my chin in defiance and refusing to back down. I don’t just stand here for myself anymore. I represent every Wolf who got down on one knee and vowed their loyalty. I will not be weak, not anymore. “No,” I tell him. “If you want to prove that you truly have my back, then you call it off. Be the bigger person, prove to me that you’re still a good guy.”
“Good guy?” Nic scoffs. “Where’s your fucking loyalty? Was it fucking easy turning your back on the boys? Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt them?”
I press my lips into a firm line. “Probably about as much as they’ve hurt me.”
“So, that’s it then? This is all about payback. Hurting us because we hurt you.”
“No,” I tell him. “This is about making things right. The boys hurt me, but you did so much more than that. You killed me. The Ocean you used to know, she doesn’t exist anymore. She’s dead. I’m a Wolf now, and you can sleep well knowing that you’re the one who pushed me to it. They’re my family now.”
“They’re not your fucking family,” he growls. “Russo is just using you to get to me. You’re a fucking pawn to them, and you’re letting them walk all over you.”
“Just like you used me to keep tabs on my father?” I say, before realizing what he actually just said. My brows crease, and as I look at him, it hits me. A sick grin twists across my face, and I step in even closer, my skin brushing against his as I raise onto my tippy toes. “You don’t know, do you?” I whisper, taking a step and circling him.
Nic keeps his eyes straight ahead, refusing to get caught up in my little intimidation tactics. “Know what?” he spits, his voice low and careful.
“Russo stepped down,” I tell him, stepping around him more so that I can see the surprise on his face. “There’s a new leader now, someone else calling all the shots.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? Russo wouldn’t step down.
“Oh, but he did. Didn’t the boys tell you? I bet they would already know all about it. After all, it happened while you were spending those two cozy nights in a cell. How was that, by the way? I’m sure you had a great time.”
I come full circle, and as I place myself right back in front of him, Nic grabs me and spins me around until my back is against his car. “Fucking spit it out already,” he growls. “Who’s your new leader?”
I laugh to myself, hating h
ow much my next words are going to hurt. “Damnnnn, the boys really didn’t tell you. I bet that one stings.”
Nic slams his hand down on the car right beside my face, and I flinch before reminding myself that I’m supposed to be right at the top of the food chain now. So, despite the way he has me pinned against his car, he still allows me room to breathe. I push up onto my tippy-toes before pressing a soft kiss to his warm cheek and then leaning into his ear. “You’re looking at her.”
Nic rears back, taking three large steps and looking at me as though I just told him that I fucked his mom in the ass with a power drill. “You’re lying.”
“You keep claiming that you know me the best, that you’re my family. So, ask yourself, would I lie about this?” I question, taking the three big steps with him and keeping right in his face. “I’m as serious about this as you are about the Widows. I’m the fucking bitch at the top so keep that in mind when you decide to make a move against the Wolves. A move against them is a move against me.”
Nic’s jaw clenches. “I don’t give a fuck who you are to me, if you hit against the Widows, I’ll fucking hit back.”
I grin wide. “You mean directly taking a hit against the Widows by doing something like taking out Vincent DeCarlo with a clean shot through the back of his spine?”
Nic’s whole face drops, and anger tears across his face, knowing just how fucked he is without the last DeCarlo still breathing. He goes to step into me, but as he makes his move, a voice sounds behind me. “Hey,” Miss Davies snaps, her tone low and deadly, something that not even Nic is stupid enough to argue with. “Step away from my student before I’m forced to call for reinforcements.”
Nic’s eyes swivel around to Roni, and recognition flashes before a wicked grin stretches wide over his face. Miss Davies reaches out and curls a hand around my elbow, yanking me back from Nic, not wanting me anywhere near the guy. But how did she know he was here? There’s only one logical explanation, but it can’t be true. Christian wouldn’t risk reaching out to his sister just to look out for me. The Wolves’ loyalty is strong, but it couldn’t be that strong.
Ride or Die: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 4) Page 27