After a minute, Colton’s hands slide down to my arms, and he gently pulls back, looking deep into my eyes. “Are you okay?” he asks, his eyes full of concern.
I shake my head. “How could I ever be okay?”
“I mean physically,” he amends. “Are you hurt? Did the paramedics check you out?”
I shrug off his concern. “I’m fine,” I grumble, glancing back at the men still on the ground, some still struggling to breathe but refusing to take their asses to the hospital. “Besides, the paramedics have more to worry about than checking in on me. These guys are stubborn and need all the help that they can get. Who knows how long they were breathing in smoke and fumes before I got here.”
Colton looks up over my shoulder, really taking a second to take in the scene before him. The police are still scattered around, helping where they can while the firemen are putting out the last of the flames and checking over the condition of the building. I’m almost certain that someone is about to come and tell me that the building needs to be torn down, but I’m hoping against it. This is the Wolves’ home and while fire damage is one thing, actually having it taken away is another.
Nic won’t get away with this. I can’t let him go without punishment, and up until now, I’ve been hoping that his form of punishment would be to get the help he needs to turn things around. I’ve always had hope that the old Nic still lived inside of him, but he doesn’t. That Nic I once knew is long gone. A bullet to the thigh is not nearly enough to make up for the devastation he’s caused today.
What if I had been in there? What if it was me who lost my life today? How would he feel then? Would he just shrug it off and call it a shitty day in the office, or would it kill him like he’s always told me it would?
I can’t believe a word he says anymore. I should have let Colton handle it in the beginning like he’d wanted to. Look at all this devastation my actions have brought down over us. I have to do something to make it right, and this time, I won’t be talked out of it. I’m going to stand tall and give him exactly what he deserves.
From now on, Dominic Garcia is as good as dead.
Colton’s hand travels down my arm until it’s firmly grasped in mine, our fingers laced, and his grip tight. “Jade, please tell me that hole in the roller door didn’t come from you ramming Nic’s car into it.”
I nod my head. “You would have done the same thing,” I tell him. “The doors were chained and boarded up. They were suffocating in there. I did what I had to do.”
Colton lets out a heavy breath, not liking the idea of me putting myself in danger like that. But honestly, ramming the car into the door was the least dangerous thing I’d done today. “I know you did,” he urges. “Taking out that door … fuck, Jade. You must have saved countless lives today.”
My head falls back against his chest. “Just not all of them.”
“You did everything you could,” he murmurs. “Don’t hate yourself. You got here as soon as you could, and the Wolves rallied around you to get everyone out. You should be proud because even during this tragedy, you’re still thriving. You’re going to get back up, you’re going to end the Widows, and you’re going to rebuild this empire as your own, cleaning out all the bullshit as you go. This is a chance at a new start for the Wolves. The slate has been wiped clean.”
“Russo is gone,” I murmur. “A bullet right through the head.”
“Yeah, baby. I see that,” he murmurs, his voice low and strained as he pulls me away. “Come on, let me take you away from this for a minute. You need a second to figure out what you’re going to do because I can guarantee that those men are going to need your leadership. You need to come in strong when they start demanding results.”
I let him lead me over to his Veneno, and I climb into the passenger seat, staring out the window at the wreckage as he makes his way around the car. He drops down into the driver’s seat and as his door closes, shutting out the devastation across the road, a peaceful silence settles over me.
I reach over to him, putting a hand on his thigh as the engine rumbles to life. “Don’t drive away,” I tell him, nodding out the window to where I find the Wolves watching my every move. “I don’t want them to think that I’m abandoning them.”
Colton nods, collecting my hand off his thigh and holding it. “Whatever you need, Jade.”
I continue staring out the window, taking it all in and watching as the Wolves rally around one another, helping their brothers. They’re doing everything they possibly can to keep their spirits high. I bet they haven’t taken a hit this big in a very long time, I’m sure it’s crushing them.
“What am I supposed to tell the families?” I ask him, nodding toward the thirteen bodies that lay across the dirty ground as paramedics begin placing them into body bags. “They’re going to want answers, and I don’t know what to tell them.”
“You tell them that you did everything that you could to get them out of there. You tell them that they died with their brothers at their side. That they were strong, courageous, and loyal. And then you tell them that you’re going to make it right and ensure that Nic won’t be able to hurt anyone else because that’s what they deserve.”
I nod, knowing he’s right, but the thought of having to face these men’s loved ones is tearing me to shreds. What other high school senior is dealing with this kind of bullshit? I should be home complaining about not understanding my calculus homework.
I fall back against the chair, hating that he’s right. I have to suck it up, and while it’ll probably be the hardest thing that I’ll ever have to do, it needs to be done. They deserve that respect.
Silence falls through the car as Colton pulls me across the center console and helps me onto his lap. I find myself staring out the window, mindlessly rubbing at the red marks on my wrist from where Nic had me bound.
Realizing what I’m doing, Colton drops his hand over mine and rubs his thumb over the red mark. “You’re really having a shitty day,” he comments.
I can’t help but scoff. “That’s an understatement if I ever heard one,” I tell him, dropping my head against his chest. Unwanted images come to mind, being dragged out of the Audi, having the black bag shoved over my head. I was terrified. I’ve never felt anything like it. I don’t know what I would have done had I not seen the Widow’s tattoo. Knowing that I was going to Nic eased my panic, but for a few terrifying moments, I wondered what other enemies the Wolves have. How many people do I need to be watching my back around? “Today has been horrendous. Did I tell you that I got the paternity test results back?”
His brow raises. “To be honest, with everything that’s been going on right now, I’d completely forgotten about that.”
I press my lips into a tight line and scoot back on his lap so that I can look at him properly. I keep his hand in mine and decide that ripping it off like a bandaid is the only way to do that. “I’m really sorry,” I tell him. “I know you were excited about the idea of this baby being yours, but it’s not. It’s Jude’s.”
Colton’s head drops back against his seat as devastation pours through him. He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out as he pulls me back into him. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, the pain in his voice tearing me apart. “I knew there was a good chance that it wasn’t mine. I just didn’t expect it to sting so bad.”
I crush my face into his chest, hating how hurt he is. “I’m sorry,” I cry. “I wanted it to be yours so, so bad.”
“I know,” he murmurs, his hand coming up my back and tangling into my hair. “But it doesn’t change anything. If you want to have this baby, then I’ll be right there by your side.”
I shake my head. “I can’t ask you to raise someone else’s kid. That’s not fair.”
Colton pulls me off him, a hand on either side of my face as he looks deep into my eyes. “Any child of yours is a child of mine. No matter what. I'm with you, Ocean, and nothing is going to change it. You and me … we’re in it for the long haul, so if you decide to
keep it, just know that this baby will have a father. I’d sooner lay down my life than let you do this alone.”
The tears well in my eyes again, and I lean into him, brushing my lips over his as his love wraps around me, completely overwhelming me with emotions. “I love you,” I whisper, my lips gently brushing against his. “But the more I think about this, the more adoption is looking like my best option. I know that with you, we’d be able to give this child a great life, but I just … every time I think about it, all I can see is Jude forcing himself onto me. I think any child we have deserves so much better than that. My baby deserves unconditional love and I just don’t think I could fully give it to him ... or her.”
Colton brushes the dirty hair off my face and swipes his thumb over my bottom lip. “You know that whatever decision you want to make, you have my complete support. But have you really thought about this? I don’t want you to get a few years down the track and realize that you regret giving up your baby.”
I shake my head. “To be honest, too much has been going on that I haven’t exactly had a massive chance to really think about it, but so far, that’s what I’m wanting.”
“Okay,” he whispers. “You still have time to think it through. There’s no rush. Why don't you sit on it for a few weeks? If you’re still feeling that way then, we can start looking into adoption agencies. We’ll find the baby a perfect family that will love them like never before.”
I nod, my heart shattering while knowing deep down that it is truly the best option. “I’d like that,” I say, leaning into him only to pull back as a knock sounds on the window.
I glance up to find Christian standing over the car, staring down at us. “It’s time,” he says, nodding back over his shoulder to where the Wolves all stand in a group, their eyes on me.
I watch as the paramedics pack up their ambulances, and within moments, they’re gone, shooting down the street with all of our fallen men. The police are long gone, leaving just the Wolves, anxious to figure out a plan. My eyes trail back to Christian’s, and I nod. “I’m ready.”
With that, he opens the door and offers me his hand as I climb off Colton’s lap. I get both feet down to the ground, and I stand with my shoulders back, and my chin raised, more than ready. Colton climbs out behind me and with his hand on my lower back, we walk toward the group of pissed off, anxious, and broken-hearted men.
“What’s the plan, boss?” one of the guys says, making a rumbling sound through the group as all eyes stare at me.
Colton stands at my side, his hand always on me. “Has anyone gone in?” I ask, nodding back to the burned warehouse. “Where are we at with weapons?”
Christian shakes his head, his lips pressed into a tight line. “All gone,” he says. “All we have left is what we had on us, in our cars, or at home. It’s not looking good. We can’t stand against the Widows like that.”
“Then we won’t,” I tell them, watching as each of them pulls back, ready to start arguing, but I get in before they have a chance. “Dominic needs to be stopped, and not a single one of you can get anywhere near him without your head being blown off. We can’t go to them as a group, so I go alone. I’ll end this on my own.”
They all shake their heads, not liking the idea at all. Colton’s hand moves from my back to clutch onto my elbow, more than ready to grab my ass and shove me into his car, taking me home where he can lock me up and never let me out of his sight. “Nah,” Christian says with a grunt. “You’ll be shot on sight. I’m not risking it.”
“I don’t care what you are, or what you’re not prepared to risk. I'm the only one who could even get remotely close to him. This morning Nic had his guys take me off the street. I spent hours in one of his many warehouses, and after he told me what was going down, I shot him right through the thigh. So, if there’s a chance for me to get at him, it’s now. Nic will be taken out, and Kairo will step into his place, ending it. We’ve already taken his funds, and once I take his life, it’s over.”
The guys shake their heads, not liking it one bit, but when it comes down to it, they don’t have a choice. This is between me and Nic. Besides, they have other things to worry about now.
“As for you guys, while we wait to figure out what’s happened with our home and rebuilding our empire, you’re going on a manhunt.”
“What?” someone grunts. “For who?”
“For a traitor,” I say, raising my chin and taking a step forward. “It was one of your brothers who shot Russo today.”
Christian grabs me, pulling me back into him as he meets my eyes. “Who?” he demands, anger radiating off him and making me feel like a bitch for not having spoken to him about this is in private.
“Look around you,” I say. “Is anyone missing?” The Wolves begin glancing around before Snake’s name is whispered on all of their lips. “That’s right,” I tell them. “Snake did it. The second Russo’s body was brought out here and you all dropped to your knees, he looked right at me, grinned, and then ran. If that's not an admission of guilt, then I don't know what is.”
“You’re only telling us this now?” Christian spits. “You let him get away.”
“No,” I snap, grabbing his hand and forcing it off me. “I allowed you a moment with your brothers to mourn the loss of the man who had led you for the past twenty years, knowing damn well that once I shared this information, you’ll stop at nothing to make it right.”
Christian clenches his jaw, the anger pulsing through him, but as the seconds tick by without breaking his stare, he finally begins to relax. He knows I’m right, and while he’d never admit it, his slight nod is all the thanks that I’ll get.
Christian turns back to the Wolves. “Right,” he says, pointing out a group of guys. “You guys hit up his place. He'll be long gone, but there might be something there.” He turns to another group. “Check the bars, clubs, whore houses, and then join the streets with the rest of us. We do not rest until that fucking Snake is dead in my hands. Got it?”
“Where do we go?” one of the Wolves questions, looking back at the burned Den behind him. “We can’t exactly come back here.”
Colton steps in beside me, looking around at the Wolves. “I’ve got a place.”
Christian meets his eyes, and the two of them remain locked in a stare until Christian finally tears his gaze away. “Right. You heard me. Get the fuck out of here.”
The Wolves instantly break away, and I don’t doubt that with the heartache sitting heavily on their chests, they will not rest until this is done.
With everyone walking away, Christian looks back at me, lowering his voice with warning. “You made them a promise to take out Dominic. I don’t want to be the one to tell you what will happen if you don’t come through.”
“I know,” I say, my jaw clenched as I look up at him with finality. “I won’t fail.”
Chapter 35
My head rests against Colton’s arm as he holds me, his body curled around mine like a big spoon, keeping me as close as possible. I stare into his dark bedroom, unable to close my eyes as every time I do, I’m hit with the visions of men screaming on the ground, engulfed in flames. Their pained cries will live with me forever, the feel of the smoke in my throat, the struggle to take a deep breath as men lay lifeless on the ground around me. I never want to feel it again.
Today was easily the worst day of my life, yet as I lay here, I can’t help but feel that it’s not over.
Colton took me home, and for the two-hour car ride back into Bellevue Springs, he begged me not to do it and said that he’d take my place. He’ll be the one to finish Nic and that I won’t have to have that burden resting on my shoulders, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to Colton. Especially while he’s out there cleaning up my mess and trying to protect me from myself. He’s too good for me. Nic wouldn’t hesitate to shoot him and I won’t risk that.
I told him over and over again that I couldn’t let him do it and that I’d give it a few days b
efore making my move. We spoke at each other the whole way home, neither of us really listening to what the other had said, just desperate to get our point across until we had nothing left to say. The car fell into silence, neither of us willing to give in.
We got home, and he took me straight upstairs. We showered, and I washed the ash out of my hair while trying to come to terms with what I have to do. I don't think I have what it takes, but thinking of those men who died of smoke inhalation and severe burns, I have no choice.
I have to end it, and I have to look him in the eyes as I do it. Nic can’t get away with this. He needs to be punished for his actions, and after giving my word to the Wolves, I need to keep strong.
If only Colton knew what I was thinking right now … fuck. He’d never let me go.
The movie Colton had put on when we climbed in bed continues playing on a loop. This is the fourth time that it’s starting again. Neither of us watched a single second of it, and while I know I should turn it off, I can’t bring myself to do it. The noise helps to dull the thoughts that are screaming in my mind.
The clock reads just after 11 pm, and despite how tired I am, I know sleep will never come. In fact, sleep won’t come until this is over. Though, the question is, how will I sleep afterward, knowing I killed a man I once loved?
My stomach twists into knots. What are the boys going to think of me? If I pull that trigger, they’ll never speak to me again. Is that a risk I’m willing to take? Hell fucking no, but do I have a choice? No.
That familiar flutter begins tickling inside of me, and my hand instantly falls to my lower abdomen. Why does it have to choose now to remind me that it’s there? Doesn't it know that I’m already struggling with something else? I don’t need to be reminded that this baby may or may not have a momma. Fuck, I couldn’t do that either. If I didn’t find a good enough family for it before it’s born, then I sure as hell will be taking care of it until I do. The thought of giving it up to sit in some rundown foster home for the first few months of its life makes me feel sick.
Ride or Die: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 4) Page 32