I take a few slow, deep breaths. I can imagine the baby telling me to grow the fuck up and go and do what needs to be done. I’m an adult now. If I’m old enough to get knocked up and become the leader of the Wolves, then I’m old enough to handle my shit.
I just have to suck it up. I have to go into the pool house and find Nic’s gun that’s hiding in my underwear drawer, and then I'll take my ass into the garage and get into the car. It’s not that complicated. You know, except for the whole shooting him with his own fucking gun thing.
Picturing the way that I'll squeeze the trigger and seeing the look of betrayal on Nic’s face has my stomach beginning to squeeze. I throw the blanket back and dart across Colton’s bedroom before flying into the bathroom. I only just get enough time to close the door behind me before all the contents in my stomach begin coming up.
I throw myself down to my knees in front of the toilet and only just manage to get my head over the bowl before chunks of my dinner splatter all over the white porcelain.
I heave over and over again, getting every last bit of it up until my cheek rests against the cold toilet seat while my stomach cramps with the excessive vomiting.
Once I’m confident it’s all gone, I lay back on the cool tiles, sinking into the feel of their coldness on my sweaty body. What kind of idiot overthinks something so fucking much that she makes herself hurl?
When my stomach finally begins to settle, I peel myself off the bathroom floor and rinse my mouth in the sink. There’s nothing worse than vomiting, but over the past eleven weeks, I’ve started to get pretty used to it.
Fuck this pregnancy. I don’t understand all those women who say that it was the best time of their lives, because so far, all I’ve felt is sick and sore. I've cried over everything, and become a raging fucking bitch at the same time. The next six months are really going to test me, but it’s the whole pushing it through my vag thing that’s scaring me the most. Watermelons just aren’t made to be squished through tiny spaces.
Beginning to feel better, I pull my head out from under the faucet and walk back toward the bathroom door. As I open it and take in Colton, still fast asleep in bed, I find myself pausing. What’s the point in going back to bed and staring into the dark?
I shake my head, letting out a sigh, unable to take my eyes off Colton’s peaceful face. If I’m going to get any chance to sneak out of here, then now’s the only time.
Taking a shaky breath, I feel the nerves instantly rising. I creep across the room, snatching my phone off the bedside table, and slip into a pair of jeans. Before I know it, I’m opening his bedroom door just a crack and sliding through it.
I glance back at him, making sure that he’s still asleep before gently closing the door and dashing down the stairs with the help of the flashlight app on my phone.
I take myself out to the pool house, and the second my hand curls around the gun in the back of my underwear drawer, that same sickness takes over me. But with my stomach already empty, there’s nothing for me to do but forge on.
It’s either now or never, and I’m done playing games.
I pull the gun out, and it feels heavy in my hand, but before I can talk myself out of it, I slip it into the back of my jeans and walk straight back out of the pool house.
I go the long way around the house, not wanting to risk walking back through it and waking anyone up. As I come around front, I find the Audi already parked by the grand entrance stairs, right where Colton’s security had left it.
Getting in the car, I instantly hit the gas, buckling my seatbelt while I’m already flying down the drive, not giving myself a chance to back out.
The two-hour drive back to Breakers Flats is the hardest two hours of my life. My hands shake on the steering wheel, and the whole way here, I have to convince myself not to stop and throw up out the car window.
Yawns tear through my body just as they’ve been doing all night, but I ignore them, desperate to get this done.
By the time that I bring the Audi to a stop outside Nic’s apartment complex, there are tears in my eyes, and my whole body is in a cold sweat.
I can do this. Just take a deep breath and shoot.
I get out of the car and glance up to the fourth floor. I find Nic’s apartment with every single light on, telling me that the stupid fucker didn’t take himself to the hospital like he was supposed to. My guess would be that when the paramedics arrived, they treated him on site, and gave him enough painkillers to last a lifetime, and then Nic threatened their lives and sent them on their way.
I stand out in the deserted street, and as I look up at his apartment, I pull out the gun and raise it up into the air.
I take one definitive shot and my arm instantly jumps back as the bullet is freed from the chamber.
The sound is deafening but it does exactly what I need it to do. My heart races and my palms begin to sweat, knowing that this could either be the end of me or of Nic, but either way, only one of us is walking free from this tonight.
With the sound of the gunshot echoing through the streets of Breakers Flats, Nic appears in his window, instantly looking down. Only two seconds later, Kairo appears, then Elijah, and right after that, my sweet Sebastian.
Fuck. I can’t do this with them here.
The boys instantly disappear from the window, no doubt on their way down here as the tears begin falling from my eyes.
How could I be so stupid? Of course the boys are here. After everything that went down today, they’d all be talking it through. Trying to work out their plan to keep their men alive and making sure that Nic doesn’t do anything else stupid.
I nervously glance back at the Audi. I wonder how far I could get before they catch up with me? Maybe I’d be able to get into Blaxlands Grove and seek protection from the Wolves, but how would they protect me? All their weapons are gone.
I’m a sitting duck, and I can guarantee that each of the boys have a gun on them somewhere, all with much faster reflexes than mine.
It’s four against one, and I’m at a loss. No matter how strong I look on the outside, they will always win. They know me too well. They know how to break me.
It feels like forever as I wait for them to come down, when in reality, Nic breaks through the door of his complex so fast that Sebastian and Elijah are rushing to keep up with him. Kairo takes his sweet ass time though, acting like nothing is about to happen. He wasn’t there today, so he couldn’t understand just how badly this tore me apart.
Nic comes storming toward me with fury in his eyes. He tries his best not to limp, pretending that the bullet hole through his leg isn’t bothering him, but I can already see the blood seeping through his jeans from here. He probably just tore his stitches wide open.
The boys instantly fall in behind him, flanking him like I’ve seen them do so many times, only I’ve never been the one standing on the opposite side.
They get a few feet away when I raise the gun and point it straight for Nic’s head, my hand steady while the rest of me is in a fearful, desperate panic.
All four of them come to an immediate stop, all eyes on me.
“Don’t move,” I growl, standing my ground and letting them see just how serious I am.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Nic spits, acting like this is all some kind of joke. “Here to shoot me again?”
“That’s exactly why I’m here,” I say, having to physically remind myself why I need to hate him so much. “You killed twelve of my men today.”
A grin pulls at his lips and he holds back a laugh. “And they sent you to finish me off?”
I shake my head. “I told them to back the fuck off so I could do it myself,” I tell him proudly. “After all, I'm the only one who could get close enough, and besides, I want to see the look in your eyes when you finally pay for everything you've done.”
Sebastian’s hands fly up, the first to grasp onto just how serious I am. “Okay, guys. Let’s just chill. This is getting out of hand.”
&n
bsp; I turn my gaze on Sebastian. “I suggest you step aside,” I tell him. “Unless you’d prefer to be covered in your boss’ blood.”
“Ocean,” Eli says, his voice low and filled with warning. “Put the gun down, girl. We don’t want to hurt you.”
I scoff. “Really? So you weren’t on board with the whole ‘kidnap Ocean off the side of the road, throw her in the back of a dirty van, and chain her to chair in the middle of Nic’s dirty little murder house’ plan?”
“The fuck are you talking about?” Kairo grunts as Nic’s jaw clenches, his dirty little secrets being aired for the world to see.
I raise a brow, turning my stare back on Nic. “So much for having their approval, huh?”
Nic raises his chin, not sorry at all. “I did what I had to do to keep you safe.”
“You had your men put their hands on me. You held a gun to my head. How is any of that keeping me safe? You’re fucking delusional, Nic, but now your time is up.”
Nic takes a step toward me, and my hand instantly begins shaking, even more so when the tip of the gun presses against his chest. I feel my heart breaking, dread sinking into my stomach, and the little voice inside my head telling me that I’m not strong enough to pull this off. “You think you have the balls to shoot me?” he questions, leaning in and forcing me to hold my arm out stronger. “We’ve been here already once today. Let me bring you in on a little secret; you don’t.”
“Really?” I laugh, dropping my eyes to his leg. “How’s that bullet wound feeling?”
He grins. “Peachy,” he says. “But you know damn well that’s not what I’m talking about. You couldn’t take a kill shot, so what the fuck are you doing here if not just trying to waste my time? You want to shoot my other leg? How about mixing it up and going for an arm?”
“I already told you what I’m here for,” I say, flinching the gun to show just how serious I am, done with his bullshit attitude.
I feel the boys’ eyes on us, watching with caution, and as Nic takes in the seriousness deep within my eyes, his brows pinch as betrayal washes over him. He looks at me like I’m some kind of stranger, unable to truly comprehend what’s happening right in front of him. “You’re really serious,” he questions, his eyes bouncing over my face, taking me in, hardly able to believe what he’s seeing. His voice breaks. “You’ve come here to end my life after everything we’ve been through?”
Tears well in my eyes, but I hold my ground as my voice drops to a broken whisper. “You need to be stopped,” I tell him, fighting the tears as they begin to drop. “I’ve tried so many times. I’ve begged you, I’ve forgiven you, I’ve let you back in, but it never works. I’ve done everything that I can to turn this around, but you just keep hurting me. I can’t let it go on anymore. Don’t you see how bad you’ve become? You’re as bad as Kian was, and it’s only getting worse. Killing my men was the final straw. They were good guys with families at home who loved them. You’re not the Nic I once knew, you’re nothing but a cold-blooded murderer.”
Pain twists across his face, his eyes dropping with disappointment as the boys secretly move around us. “That’s what you really think of me?” he says on a whispered breath, disbelief and hurt in his tone. “That I’m just like my father?”
I nod as the tears roll down my cheeks. “I’ve been trying so hard to hold onto that love I once had for you, wishing that I could somehow bring you back, but you’re gone. This world has changed you, and it’s on me to stop you. I can’t let you go on hurting people the way that you do.”
Nic stumbles back a step as if finally seeing things through my eyes, and when Sebastian takes a step toward me and turns to face Nic, the tension rises. “I’m sorry, bro,” Sebastian says, his voice deep and pained. “She’s right. This has gone on for too long. You’re going to get us all killed, and I can’t stand back and watch you destroy yourself.”
Nic looks at him as though he's never quite felt pain like it, but when Eli moves into my other side, it only gets worse. “I’m sorry, Nic,” Eli grumbles. “It kills me to stand against you like this, but this road you're traveling down. I can’t … I joined the widows for the brotherhood not to become a killer.”
Nic scoffs and then looks back at Kai. “What about you?” he grunts, saving the worst for last. “Are you turning your back on me too?”
Kai shakes his head. “You’re my best friend, bro. None of us are turning our back on you, and you know damn well that we’d follow you to the ends of the earth, but something’s gotta give. You’re going to get us all killed over a bullshit war that you could have ended. Your selfish need to always be at the top is tearing us down, and I’m afraid that once you finally reach the top, you’ll have no one there holding you up.”
Nic glances around, looking at the boys before finally coming back to me. He stares at me for a long, drawn out moment before stumbling back a step, almost as though the weight of the moment is too much for him to bear. “I have. I’ve turned into my fucking father,” he says with a whisper, a hint of disbelief and horror surfacing in his tone. “You’re fucking right. I did the one thing I always said that I didn’t want to do, but I’m just like him. Right down to the fucking core.”
I clench my jaw, my hand still shaking as I watch him. How am I supposed to continue through with this now?
“O,” Nic murmurs, his voice low and broken as he looks at me with those eyes that have tortured me for far too long. Betrayal flickers through them, and it tears me to shreds, only making the tears fall faster. “I get it now, but don’t do this to yourself. You might be strong enough to pull that trigger but what do you do afterward? I can’t have that burden sitting on your shoulders for the rest of your life. It will tear you apart.”
“Don’t,” I demand, the desperation getting all too much as he starts playing with my emotions. I clench my jaw, flinching the gun and forcing myself not to break. “Fight back. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
He shakes his head, truly realizing that this could be the end. His eyes soften, and he steps right into me, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight, his hands traveling up and down my back as the gun gets squished between our bodies. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, his head dipped and his lips brushing across my neck. “I understand. I’ve killed countless men, I’ve tortured women, I’ve played twisted fucking games. I knew it was only a matter of time before it all caught up with me. This day was coming, I just didn’t realize it was going to be so soon. Though I have to admit, I’m glad it’s you. You’re the only one that I’d even be okay with pulling the trigger. Just do me a favor and make it quick.”
Sobs pull from deep within me, and Nic holds me tight, giving me this moment. “It’s okay, my sweet angel,” he murmurs over and over again. “It’s going to be okay. I forgive you. I know you have to do this. I love you so goddamn much.”
“The fuck are you doing?” Kairo grunts, watching Nic in horror.
Nic ignores him and steps back out of my arms, and I instantly hold the gun back up, aiming right between his eyes as the sobs continue tearing out of me. I try taking deep breaths but the lump in my throat makes it nearly impossible.
I struggle to hold myself together, and when Nic holds his arms out wide, begging for me to take the shot and end it all, Sebastian and Eli gasp in horror as Kai runs out in front of the gun, blocking my shot. “Don’t you dare fucking shoot him.”
“MOVE,” I demand, the tears washing down my face like waterfalls. “I have to.”
“Ocean, don’t,” Sebastian begs, the panic rising in his tone. “Please, baby. We’ll figure out a way. Don’t take him from us.”
The tears stream down my face, and as I take a deep breath and bring my finger over the trigger, a firm hand comes down on my shoulder. “Jade.” His soft, velvety voice breaks through my inner turmoil before his body presses against mine. “Stop.”
Chapter 36
“Listen to your friends,” Colton says, his voice wrapping around me like a silky car
ess, commanding me like never before. “Don’t do this. It’ll destroy you.”
Unable to help myself, I lean back against Colton, knowing he’s right but still struggling against what I have to do. The Wolves need this. I need this. Nic has to be stopped.
His hand travels along my outstretched arm until his hand hovers over mine. He presses down, forcing me to lower my arm, bringing the gun to my side. I drop the weapon, listening as it clatters to the ground.
Colton holds me up, and weakness overwhelms me.
I crush myself into his arms as I hear the soft sighs of relief coming from all four of the guys. Nic drops down onto his knees, breathing heavily before falling back onto his ass and letting his head hang as the emotions overwhelm him.
Kai walks to his side and presses his hand against his shoulder. “Come on, man,” he says. “We’ll get you whatever help you need.”
Nic shakes his head before looking up at Colton, knowing damn well that what he’s about to ask is going to be refused by the others. “Call the police,” he says. “It’s time to hand myself in.”
Colton nods, and as he digs his hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone, I pull out of his arms and make my way toward Nic.
I hold out my hand, still struggling against the tears and sobs that continue coming, one after another.
Nic instantly takes my hand, and instead of allowing me to help him up, he pulls me down into his laps and curls his arms around me. My face is pressed against his chest, and I breathe him in, knowing that this is going to be the last time I see him for a while. “I’m so sorry, O,” he murmurs. “I knew I was hurting you, but I’ve never been able to see past my own needs. I’ve been so fucking selfish. I don't deserve you in my life. You’ve stood by me time and time again when I never once deserved that loyalty from you.”
“I’m not going to pretend that it’s okay, because it’s not. The things you’ve done to me and the people around you are … they’re awful, Nic, and it’s going to take us all a really long time to learn to forgive you.”
Ride or Die: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 4) Page 33