Make Me (The Club #17)

by Cathleen Ross

  Ryan gave her a devastating grin when he got in his side and his car roared off toward the old section of town. Cari struggled to find something to talk about. It wasn't as if she'd got to know Ryan before sleeping with him. It was a wonder he'd came back. Had he read the rest of her diary? What did he think? Was he planning to act out more of the fantasies? A short thrill of pleasure coursed through her at the thought. Still, she couldn't blurt out her questions, so she just kept quiet and listened to the music on the radio. She hadn't lost sight that she needed to ask him where her diary was eventually.

  When they arrived, Ryan jumped out of the car, came around to her side and opened the door. The waitress of Bella Bella Italiana welcomed them warmly with a Texan accent. Cari loved the southern twang, which was so different from her New York accent. The interior of the restaurant was dimly lit but stylish. The delicious smell of mouth watering Italian food met her the moment the hostess showed them to a little table in the corner.

  Cari sat in the chair Ryan pulled out for her. The atmosphere was light and Ryan solicitous but her throat started to tighten and her breathing became shallow. Maybe she shouldn't have accepted a dinner date. Images of Rob clutching his chest, white faced, rapid breathing flooded her mind.

  Ryan put his hand on her arm. "You okay?"

  She nodded, mouth dry. Her fingers twitched in her lap.

  Ryan called the waiter over. "Could we have a glass of water for the lady?"

  "Certainly sir." The waiter left.

  "I'm sorry," Cari said, her cheeks hot with embarrassment.

  "No need to apologize," he said gently. "I know this is hard for you. Annabel told me what happened and I promised to look after you while she was gone. We haven't spent much time together but I've known your twin since she moved to Karim six years ago."

  "She caught your eye?"

  "Annabel catches every man's eye but she wasn't my type."

  "And I am?" She raised her eyebrows wondering.

  Ryan smiled, reached down and took her hand from her lap and held it. "You might look the same but you're not. Annabel's bold. You're quieter. I like your sister. Heck, we're friends, but you're more my style. Everything you want to know about your twin is there on the page. You're different. You've got a rich inner life and it's a challenge to find out what's there."

  He got that right. There was a whole load of crap spinning around in her head. "Are you talking about my writing?"

  Ryan's dark eyes gleamed. "I'm talking about the whole package but the writing is part of it."

  "Are you planning on giving my diary back?"

  He gave her hand a squeeze. "Not until we've acted out everyone of your fantasies."

  Cari cheeks became hotter. "They weren't intended for anyone to see."

  "Hey the page I found had my name on the top."

  "Fair's fair." She smiled. "Don't they seem a bit...um nutty to you?"

  "Cari, you are so sexy and gorgeous but you don't seem to know it. I loved everything I read and I want to do those things if you want me to."

  Ryan's enthusiasm warmed her heart. "So last night wasn't just a one time thing?"

  "I don't want it to be. Do you?"

  "I'm scared to make plans." This man was handsome, fit and caring. He stirred sensations inside her that she hadn't felt in a long time but she could barely imagine baby steps at the moment.

  "Don't be scared."

  "I keep thinking something will go wrong."

  "It won't, so don't worry. Your sister likes me."

  "So you must be good." Cari relaxed a little.

  "I'm planning to set up my mechanical engineering business now I'm home, so I want to take advantage of the last free weeks I have to court you. I'm a one woman man."

  "That sounds nice." But this was not the man who broke into her house and ravished her. Cari had a feeling there were layers between the man Ryan was saying he was and who he really was.

  "What about you, Cari, are you going to stay in Karim?"

  The waiter came over and put a bottle of water on the table and two water glasses, filling Cari's first, which she reached for gratefully. Ryan ordered wine and the waiter left them with food menus.

  "I've signed a teaching contract for a year." She sighed. After Rob's death, she viewed life differently. Who knew what she'd be doing when her contract ended. "When I was engaged, I had a whole life planned. Where we'd live, how many kids we'd have. Now I just know I'll be here for a year."

  "And you can't see further than that?"

  She shrugged. "Life changes day by day. I learned that the hard way."

  Ryan leaned forward, his positivity beaming off him. "Planning or not, life can be fun. Tell me what you like doing."

  "I used to love going to movies, reading, weekends away with..." She stopped. Don't go there, Cari. There was no way she wanted to talk about Rob. She had to move on. Keep her conversation in the present. She twisted her hands in her lap.

  The waiter returned with a bottle of Merlot, poured a little for Ryan to taste and after Ryan gave his assent, poured some into both glasses. "Are you ready to order?" he asked them.

  Before Cari could say what she wanted, Ryan ordered linguini with vongole for both of them and the waiter left.

  "How did you know I liked linguini with vongole?" she asked bemused.

  "You have a whole chapter on it in your diary."

  "Oh my god. Food porn." She put her hand to her mouth and laughed.

  "Works for me."

  "You're dangerous. You know me too well and I don't know enough about you, except you're adventurous in the bedroom."

  He raised his eyebrows. "We can have fun learning more about each other. I'm not much of a book reader but I'm up for dancing, seeing bands, football games and hanging out."

  The waiter brought out their pasta and put the plates in front of them. Cari picked up her fork, rolled some linguini onto it and put it into her mouth. One of the strands fell from the fork and onto her cleavage. She looked up at Ryan mortified.

  "Want me to get that for you?" He patted his mouth with his napkin.

  "Not with your lips," she said, remembering the salacious things she'd written in her diary.

  He reached over and picked the piece of linguini from between her breasts and sucked it into his mouth, then he dabbed her breasts with his napkin.

  Cari rubbed her thighs together. She wanted him. Ryan was right, they certainly were well suited in the bedroom, but more than that, she liked him. Ryan was cheeky and made her laugh. The nerves that she'd felt before the date settled.

  Ryan was enjoying his meal. Cari had seemed uncertain earlier but he'd managed to belay her nerves and she seemed happy. He took a sip of the excellent red he ordered and sat back replete staring at her. God she was beautiful. He would have sucked that piece of pasta right off her breasts if he hadn't been in Bella Bella Italiana. Mind you, the restaurant was very supportive of The Club members and their kinky ways as they often held the munch in the back room of the restaurant for new people interested in finding out what The Club offered.

  "Well look who we have here," said a loud, obnoxious voice.

  Ryan looked up to see a tall, male drunk staring at him with a belligerent expression. "Do I know you?"

  "You're one of those club members," the man said.

  "And you're clearly not because you'd be keeping your mouth shut," Ryan growled.

  "You're a Mak," the man insisted.

  "What's it to you?" Ryan asked.

  "You and that blue-haired freak think you own this town."

  He got out of his seat and fronted the man. This could get ugly fast and he didn't want to be caught sitting. "I'm not interested in having a conversation with you. Move on."

  "You don't get to be the Dom here," the man sneered. "This place is public property."

  Ryan could feel the eyes of everyone in the restaurant. In the corner he could see Mikhail Alexandrov, an ER doctor and Club member with his girlfriend Stella. He hadn't not
iced him earlier. Mikhail stood, but Ryan shook his head. He didn't need help.

  "Time for you to leave before I make you," Ryan growled softly, stepping up. Vaguely he remembered the man's face from a night at the club a short while ago. The man had upset a switch named Alese if he remembered rightly. Hadn't followed The Club rules and had been too rough, which meant immediate expulsion. While his cousin Jet, and The Club's co-owner, Tallulah Belle Fremanis ran a tight ship, occasionally a freak got in.

  "What's going on?" Cari wiped her lips with her napkin, her large blue eyes wide with concern.

  The man pointed at her. "I saw you there laughing at me when they threw me out."

  "I don't know what you're talking about," Cari said. "Ryan, I'm going to call the police." She picked up her handbag and extracted her cell phone.

  "No need. I've got this," Ryan said. He saw the waiter approaching.

  "They took my membership away. Assholes." The man swayed on his feet.

  The waiter came over. "It's time you left, sir."

  The man ignored the waiter. Instead, he looked over at Cari. "I've seen you there too, walking that man around like a dog. You people think you're so special. Pack of freaks."

  Cari's mouth dropped open. Her cell phone dropped from her fingers and she stared at Ryan, a frown creasing her brow. "Annabel?"

  "That's enough." Ryan spun the man around and marched him toward the door. The hostess quickly opened it and he pushed the drunk through, so that he stumbled and rolled down the front stairs.

  "You'll be sorry you met me." He glared at Ryan.

  "I already am." Ryan's hands bunched into fists wishing he could shove one into the man's fat mouth. Picking himself up, the drunk staggered on down the street.

  "I'm so sorry, sir," the waiter said.

  "Not your fault. Don't worry about it," Ryan said. Hell. What was Cari going to make of that? He rejoined her at the table and took a sip of his wine.

  "The club that my twin goes to. It isn't a bowling club, is it?"

  "No," Ryan said, quietly.

  "And my twin is a member?"

  "Cari, I'm not allowed to talk about The Club or its members."

  "So how were you planning to tell me?" She picked up her cell phone from the table and put it in her handbag.

  Ryan shrugged, not sure what to say. He was done with The Club. There was only one thing dragging him back night after night.

  "I'd like to go home now please."

  Chapter 4

  The moment Ryan pulled his sports car in front of her house Cari opened the car door and marched up to her house.

  "Cari wait," Ryan said, leaping out his side and racing after her.

  "Good bye, Ryan." She dug for her key, inserted it into the lock and threw the door open. Anger seethed inside her but she bit it back. Here she was thinking Ryan was some ordinary guy, someone who had served and was ready to give his life for his country. A stable engineer. Huh! She really could pick them.

  "We need to talk," Ryan said, following her inside, closing the door behind him.

  She rounded on him. "Talk? Are you nuts? The time to tell me of your little hobby was when we were at dinner. You could have included: footy, hanging out and BDSM. Just dropped it in there so I wouldn't have had to hear it sprayed around the restaurant by a drunk."

  "It isn't something I could tell you about without getting to know you better."

  Cari jabbed her index finger into his chest. "You knew I was having trouble getting over Rob's death. You knew I was vulnerable. What were you planning? To groom me so you could stick me on a collar and a lead?"

  "Nothing. I liked you. It was that simple."

  Cari shook her head. "I'm not stupid. Nothing is ever simple. No wonder you enjoyed playing out my fantasy. You're not an ordinary guy."

  "But Cari, it's a sexy fantasy. My fantasy too. Don't make it into something dirty. Something bad." Ryan looked genuinely hurt.

  Cari heaved in a deep breath, telling herself to be calm. "There's a whole scene going on here in Karim that I'm not privy to and clearly you Maks have got my sister involved too. You must think I'm some kind of joke not catching on earlier? You must be laughing at me."

  "Not at all." Ryan tried to take her elbow to guide her to the lounge. "Let me get you a drink and we can talk."

  "I don't want a drink." She jerked her elbow away but she did sit on the lounge. Her mind was reeling. While her inclination was to demand Ryan leave, she had to force herself to hear more for Annabel's sake. She needed to understand what Ryan was in to. What kind of people was her twin involved with? For a top model, she'd thought it was strange that Annabel had decided to live in Texas rather than New York in the apartment the twins had inherited.

  Though Annabel had stayed in her old bedroom and visited New York regularly, Cari had believed her twin when she'd said she'd chosen to live in Texas because of her love of horse riding and the open-air lifestyle. Instead, if the drunk could be believed, her twin was leading a new boyfriend called Con around on a chain like a dog. Oh hell. Her mother would roll in her grave. Her father would shoot Con. And Ryan? This supposedly sweet guy who made her feel good about herself for the first time in two years? This guy who made her laugh? He was a freak. Cari buried her face in her hands.

  Ryan rubbed her back, his hand warm. "Cari please let me explain. It's not what you think."

  She turned to face him. "What is it then? You'd better start explaining and that includes answering all my questions."

  Ryan's face tightened.

  "Nothing is going to be off limits tonight. It's either that or you walk out that door and you never come back."

  Ryan sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "What do you need to know?"

  "What is The Club?"

  "It's a venue, here in Karim, where people who have a kink can go and meet other like minded people."

  "And my sister goes?"

  "A lot of people go," Ryan conceded. "Cari, you lived in New York, something like this cannot possibly be new to you."

  "Of course it's not new, but knowing my sister goes there, knowing you go to a sex club: that's news to me. Especially as you insisted you weren't a player. What was it you called yourself?" Cari paused. "I seem to recall you using the words, 'One woman man.'"

  "But that's exactly what I am. Cari, Jet opened the club in January 2014. I was deployed then and I was still with my girlfriend, Kerry. Jet gave us both a membership when he started The Club. Kerry wanted to go so I went when I had my first leave."

  "And?"

  Ryan looked grim. "I don't like talking about my past relationship. Accepting that membership was the worst thing I've ever done."

  "Ryan, I need to trust you and right at this moment, I've had the rug pulled out from under me."

  "Fine." Ryan blinked. "But what I'm going to tell you is upsetting, so prepare yourself. At first going to The Club was fun. I like having a drink and Kerry liked to dance. The music was great."

  Cari sat there staring at him, knowing this wasn't the full story. She was a good listener so she didn't try to fill in the silence.

  "There are rooms upstairs where people go to have sex." He glanced over at the sideboard at a picture of the twins Cari had put on the sideboard. "Some people like to watch, others to be watched."

  "And you?"

  "There was no way I was okay with anyone watching me and Kerry have sex even though she wanted to. I like my sex life to be private and I know Jet has cameras everywhere."

  "It would be kind of creepy of your cousin watching you on the surveillance cameras," Cari said, wrinkling her nose at the thought.

  "Exactly. Plus the Suits check the monitors. I preferred the privacy of my own home."

  She agreed with him on that one.

  "Kerry wanted to try spanking with other people in the room. There's a chamber for that." His eyes lit up. "It was fun at first. Sexy. I insisted Kerry keep her clothes on but many women took theirs off. But, hey, I liked putting her over my knee.
"

  "I'd like to try that one too," Cari said huskily. "But not in front of people."

  "I missed that one on your fantasy list." Ryan made a grab for her and pulled her close but Cari wriggled out of his grasp.

  "Stop. I still have questions to ask."

  Ryan let her go immediately.

  Was Ryan over Kerry? Was he ready to move on? God knows it was hard enough for her to see someone else other than Rob. She had to know what she was getting in to if she continued to date Ryan. "Did you get into the heavy stuff?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "Domination."

  "Cari, some women like that. Hell, you enjoyed it last night but I don't like to get rough. That's not me. When it comes to sex, I admit, I like to be the dominant partner but if you don't enjoy something I expect you to tell me. That's why I built in the safe word when we played."

  She breathed a sigh of relief, knowing his words rang true. "You were wonderful last night, but you need to understand, if you want more than anything you've read in my diary, you need to talk to me first."

  This time, Ryan gave her a wry smile, moved closer on the lounge and put his arm around her. "I don't want anyone else. Your diary's enough for me. There's a lot of fun stuff in there."

  She sat stiff-backed unwilling to cuddle in. Something was still bothering her. "That drunk in the restaurant knew you. You're still going to The Club."

  "You're right. I do. But it's not why you think." Ryan's arm fell away from her shoulders and his mouth turned down. "You see Kerry was murdered six weeks ago."

  "What?" Her chin snapped up. Shock shuddered through her body. Holy hell. She hadn't been expecting him to say that.

  Ryan's eyes glistened with misery. "Jet told me when I got home. I've been going every night to check out the crowd at The Club, especially anyone who seems rough with the women. Jet and all the Suits are on high alert."

  "Haven't they caught the murderer?" This was the last thing Cari expected to hear.

  "Not yet." Ryan rubbed his brow. "Kerry got hooked on the high of The Club. She liked it far more than I did, wanted to try everything The Club had to offer and there were always men willing to play with a pretty unattached girl. The police think she got involved with a violent Dom she met at The Club."