by Amber Dane
"You are evil! I do not believe this madness."
"I don't need you to believe me. I just need you dead."
The girl was crazy and the cunning gleam fixed in her eyes froze Alexa and she braced herself. Camm let out a shriek and leaped forward.
He would not make it to them in time. His only hope was that Alexa would release her hold on the maid. But she didn’t and Rourke could only watch in horror as both women, locked in a fierce battle, came off the plank and seemed suspended in the air for a frozen moment before they came crashing down in a flurry of hair and skirts. He felt Goran rush up near him as he braced himself and aimed to catch Alexa.
He had no chance as his wife twisted midair to land a punch square to the maids face just as their entwined bodies hit the ground with a hard, sickening thud. Rourke dropped to his knees next to them. Both were so still and his heart fell to his stomach. Alexa was not moving.
TWENTY SIX
Jacob's scream was loud enough to wake the dead when the boy spotted Camm.
Rourke growled without looking up, "Take him to the dungeons."
Jacob yelled concern for his own life in his tone and wide eyes, “You are a knight. Show mercy!”
Rourke turned a murderous look upon him as Goran shoved the boy toward two guards that dragged him away kicking and screaming.
Rourke turned his attention back to the bodies.
The blood pouring out of the back of Camm’s skull told them all life had gone. Rourke didn't know where to touch Alexa first. His heart twisted. She was so still but no blood came from anywhere he could yet see. He reached out with a hand under her neck and the other under her knees. When he lifted her, she did not stir but for the soft moan that escaped her parted lips. Relief like he'd never known surged through him and Rourke strode toward the manor.
Dipping the soft cloth in the cool water, Rourke bathed Alexa’s brow once again before setting it back in the bowl next to the bed. It was night and she had not shown any signs yet of awakening. He’d sent for the healer and she had checked every inch of his wife’s body as he'd done. No broken bones.
A lump, the size of a goose egg sat on the side of her temple, and a black and purple bruise on her right hip. But what scared him the most was that she might not wake up. Often upon the battlefield he'd seen many that had taken a hard hit to the head, never to awake again or those that did had woken to addled brains. His mind whirled back to when he first met her and everything that happened since. He let his fingers slide over her neck and jaw. She looked like she was lost in a pleasant sleep. She was so different than the person Jacqueline had been and he whispered hoarsely, “Come back to me.”
He knelt next to the bed, her hand in his and prayed.
Something hit him in his back and he groaned. When it came again, it was softer and Rourke woke up to find Alexa leaning over him and daylight flooding the chamber. He shot up.
She stared at him with a frown and her hand out. "Ohhh. Not so fast."
He dragged her into his arms up against his bare chest. "Alexa!" he breathed near her ear. A rush of relief flooded him again.
She mumbled something. He pulled away and she took a deep breath.
"I need breathe to be able to answer you." Her voice was strained.
"Are you well?" Rourke asked her as he settled the fur around her only to have her push it off. He had dressed her in a shift. She looked over his naked frame then to his face.
"A bit dizzy. But I am fine." She made to move off the bed and his hand on her elbow stopped her.
"Are you sure? Where do you go?" he asked worried.
"A drink."
"Stay. I will get it." He reached over to the pitcher he had set next to the bed and filled the small cup. After her second cup, she seemed like her old self and Rourke hesitated. Almost afraid to hope. He reached out to feel her temple; she flinched under his soft ministrations.
"Camm?" she muttered looking at him as she pulled her legs under her to lean into his chest. His arms circled her.
"Dead." And he wished he could kill the maid over again. "When you are ready will you tell me what happened up there?"
"I am ready." Alexa told him what Camm had said and when she got to the last of the maid's words.
“Think you what she said was true?”
“All that could say any different are dead. So we will never know.” Rourke tightened his arms around her and told her about Jacob being imprisoned and he would be hanged for his part in it.
Alexa balked at that. But Rourke refused to back down.
After a while she said, quietly, "You were right all along."
Rourke cupped her face and lifted it so he could look in her eyes. "‘Tis over now. That's all that matters." She nodded and gave him a weak smile.
"Do you have a sister or brother?"
He shook his head no and she nodded. His heart twisted and he planted a light kiss on her upturned mouth. When he pulled back, he saw tears in her eyes and he hugged her. Goran had been right, she’d not grieved for her sister. Alexa cried long and hard into the afternoon in his arms.
Nigh an entire week had passed and still Alexa was distraught and plagued by Camm’s betrayal. Her father and sister lay dead because of her. Grief weighed heavy in Alexa’s chest.
She blinked back the deep melancholy that had gripped her since the awful scene days ago.
Today was the day Jacob would be hanged. She did not wholly agree but his crimes deemed it his end in plotting with Camm and Rourke would see no less. He had wanted to behead the boy. That was all he’d bent on. Rourke was an honorable man and as overlord here now, he determined the punishment. Camm and Jacob had committed unforgivable crimes upon her family.
Alexa had sequestered herself in their chamber not even venturing out for practice the whole week.
The changes in Rourke had been noticeable, but she’d been so preoccupied with her losses and the deep ache within she could not see past it. He was there every time she looked up. His gentle and soft touches. His deep timbre soothing in an attempt to calm. Seeing to her needs, asking after her well-being. He smiled more, awkwardly, but a smile nonetheless, even that did not lift the black cloud over her head. He’d sought the healer twice. The crushed medicinal herbs and drink only seemed to make her sleep without dreams. But not aught else. Alexa grieved night and day and since Rourke had come to her manor doors, for the first time she had no desire to leave their chamber.
Rourke was beside himself. She was wilting away right in front of him. He understood her deep grief. Or so he thought he did. She spoke of her father and sister at length and he listened. She’d never spoken Camm’s name again since that night. He had tried what he could to break her out of her dark place. Oh, she gave him a faint smile here and there, but she was not the same.
He wanted his feisty hellion back.
Goran said to give it more time as had the healer. Rourke knew it was his own impatience. She lay curled against him each night, her softness driving him mad, but he had not tried to take their closeness any further than kissing. His body was wound tight. But he could wait. ‘Twas not his first concern. Her well-being was and God’s wounds! He would try again today and hoped he got somewhere. The cold snap had broken and the sun was high this day. ‘Twas still a heavy chill in the air, but he hoped to get her outside, even if he had to carry her out.
It didn’t work out as easily as he’d planned. He wanted his hellion back, but not in this way. At the mention of going outside, Alexa had remained quiet and turned into a wildcat when he’d approached to carry her.
They ended up on the bed, breathless, with him on top of her. He was glad to see the fight in her. But her refusal to go outside of the chamber scared him. Something was terribly wrong. His gaze burned into hers and she for the first time in days stared back with an unwavering angry glare of her own.
“Let me up,” she demanded.
Alexa was surprised when he moved off her quickly and she found she was stung by the odd look
he shot her way. He went to the window, his broad back to her. Tears blurred her vision at his frigid stance. She crossed her arms and asked sarcastically, “May I get off the bed now?”
“Of course.” His voice sounded as though it pained him.
After a moment she rose and straightened her clothing before going to the window to stand beside him.
“Is the deed done?” she asked him.
“Aye.”
Despair seized her and Alexa let out a piercing wail. Rourke had his arms around her in seconds.
“Alexa! Pray tell me what is wrong and so that I may fix it. I can handle anything, but your tears and you like this, I fear cannot.”
She turned and laid her hands on his forearms. “’Tis truly…over.” Her wide eyes searched his face and Rourke almost panicked at the faraway look in those amber depths until her hands fisted in the sleeves of his tunic at the odd look he was giving her. Her words came out firm. “Now my family can rest in peace. I need to visit their graves and the chapel. I need to pray.”
He’d thought she was losing her mind. But she wasn’t. Jacob’s death was the end of it. She let out a sigh when he gave her a reassuring nod.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Two more days later and Rourke noticed that Alexa was back to herself. The heavy grief had not left her completely, but she was functioning better. He found he wanted to do something for her. The urge was strong within him and he’d not remembered feeling this way since that day long ago with Jacqueline. But this time it was different.
This was Alexa.
She was too proud to throw herself off the side of a cliff. With his mind made up, Rourke did not realize he was grinning as he passed the servants in the hall and the guards outside. Smiles came to their faces as they started to hum a light tune as they worked. The dark cloud over their lord and lady’s head had begun to lift.
Alexa waited for Rourke to meet her in the kitchen as his order had been given. She had found it odd, but had come here anyway. Lina entered and halted. Alexa stared hard at the maid.
“My lady,” Lina said with a curtsy and backed out of the kitchen.
Jealousy flared in Alexa. She knew what this woman was to her husband. She shook it off and thought of the past week. She was still trying to work out many things in her head and this new and gentler side to him was going to take some getting used to. She was not so sure she even liked him this way. Soft.
She missed his deep bellow and roughness she found. She didn’t like the feelings that he stirred in her in the night by just holding her against his side as they slept. He’d not tried to be intimate with her and she missed that too. She needed something else. Something more. What that was yet, Alexa did not know.
“There you are.”
Alexa turned to see his giant frame walking toward her. He was dressed in light colors today, a heavy cloak around his shoulders only made him appear broader and she inhaled sharply as something tingled inside her. His golden hair was tied back away from his face and he was smiling at her. The lines around his mouth drew her attention there. He was a beautiful man.
“What is it that is of such import, I had to wait here?”
The hand he’d been holding behind his back, he brought to the front. A basket covered by a linen cloth. It looked so tiny and awkward in his large hand. Alexa frowned.
“I have an errand and I wish for you to ride with me. We will be gone for most of the day, so Cook packed us treats. Ready yourself.”
“But-“Alexa started and was cut off as he walked right past her.
“Be ready in half past the hour.” He threw over his shoulder with a loud bellow and Alexa’s belly warmed over the curt command. She snapped her mouth closed and peeked under the linen cloth of the basket he’d left next to her on the table. A smile lit her face. A ride would do her good and she hurried from the kitchen.
The day couldn’t be any more perfect! Not a dark cloud sullied the noon sky and the sun was as bright as the light Rourke had lit in her heart. The cool air brushed her face. Goran stood beside Rourke’s horse, Black. Dressed to ride in a tunic and breeches, a cloak over her, Alexa came to a halt when she spied her husband walking out of the stables with something bundled under his arm. She took in the sight of him. His broad back faced her as he spoke softly to his animal with one of those large hands that had rested on her hip last night now stroking the black mane on the beautiful creature’s neck.
Delightful tingles of pleasure beset her and a moan escaped her lips as he turned. An ache formed between her thighs under his heated gaze and when he smiled at her, Alexa had to force her weak legs to move forward.
“Are you ready?” Rourke asked her.
"Aye." Alexa said and returned the bright smile Goran shot her way. She looked for her gelding.
"Black will be all we need today. You will ride with me." Rourke gave her a look that said he was awaiting her protest. Alexa shrugged.
Not today. Something warm and fuzzy caused her to shiver at the thought of being in his arms as they rode. Satisfied, he took the basket from her and secured it to the side of his horse.
The ride was more exhilarating and cleansing than Alexa had imagined even with her husband's men hanging back far enough to give them privacy. But not far enough that she'd not seen a head or two on the other side of the wood. She found it hard to believe the man needed any to watch his back. He was more than capable to handle more than a score of men on his own.
After a while he lead the horse to an area Alexa was unfamiliar with and she soon lost her breath when the clearing revealed a small stream and waterfall. The rushing water was calming and she rushed to dismount. He let her while he let Black free to go to the bank for a drink.
When Alexa turned back, he had spread out a thick wool blanket with the basket on it. He smiled at her and held out a hand to her. Alexa hesitated. Her heart was near bursting with the new emotions lighting through her. She did not like what she was feeling, but unable to stop the rush of it, she let it happen. She took his hand and sat down with him.
He looked awkward at first, uncomfortable as he set out their small meal of meats, bread, cheese and fruit. She squeezed his hand when he slowly unwrapped a handful of her sweet wafers.
They ate quietly and Alexa immersed herself in their surroundings and simply being with him.
She pulled out the small flask and offered it to him to drink. He pushed it back to her to drink first. Their eyes met over their hands and Alexa accepted it, drinking her fill and gave it back to him. Her eyes shone brightly as she watched the bump on his throat move with each swallow. The scar from the cut that she’d given him when they’d first met was hardly visible.
She did not know her feelings showed in her eyes. But Rourke did. He was afraid to hope. Irritation came over him at what he saw in her open gaze. Goran was right on this too. Time had come to talk about their marriage and that had been Rourke’s intent with this outing. But now, anxiety filled him and he could not do it.
He thrust the flask back at her roughly and said gruffly, "I hope this afternoon pleased you."
Her brows furrowed and she drew back, a confused expression upon her flushed face. “It has very much so.”
She continued to watch him and Rourke grunted with a nod and looked out over the stream.
The man was going to drive her mad! Alexa stared at the side of his face as she forced down her frustration. ‘Twas his idea to do this today. These new and insecure feelings were probably as strange to him as they were to her. She would have to take the lead. With that thought, she laid back and wanting him to hear, she let out a loud sigh.
Rourke turned and his breath stopped. She had removed the ties in her hair and it fanned out behind her like a glorious blanket. Rourke could not resist and leaned over to inhale the sweet fragrance of her before moving down to nuzzle her neck. When she arched against him, he covered one of her breasts under the cloak and squeezed. Her soft moans and movements drove him mad. He covered her with his body and
whispered sweet words near her ear. God, how he missed the passionate sounds she made. The feel of her. She trembled and moved her hips against his, their loins pressed together.
He stopped his caresses. “’Tis not the place. The chill hangs yet heavy in the air and the men are not far.” Rourke sighed, breathing heavy with his forehead pressed against hers.
She shook her head, her hands clutched at his back to hold him fast to her.
“Nay. I want to do it now. Right here.” Hot and breathless her whisper shot a bolt of pure lust to his groin and he gritted his teeth. The hot kisses she leaned up to plant along the column of his throat drove him mad. Her tongue snaked out and licked his scar.
Rourke growled and nipped her lips. “Nay. I want you in our bed and will not chance anyone seeing you.”
“Your men will not come forward without a word of permission from you. Come. Feel how much I want you inside me, Rourke.”
It took everything in him to fulfill her wish at the sound of his name coming off her tongue. But still he rolled off her and stood. His hardness throbbed in protest. He heard her scramble to her feet in a huff behind him. The cool water of the stream beckoned him and he wanted to walk there now into it fully clothed. Her next words hit his back like Thor’s hammer.
“Is Lina truly your mistress?”
Rourke wheeled around and stared at her.
Alexa's gaze did not waver and she went on, passion and anger firing in her eyes. “Well? Do you share her bed?”
He could have told her he’d not touched Lina since the day he’d come here and seen her on the hill standing over her sister’s grave. But, Rourke said nothing. He was not ready to cross over into this illusion of ever after. And that was what it was. He’d been a fool. How could he have believed for one moment ‘twas possible? How could he when deep down inside he did not trust her or it?