Ghostly Affairs

by K E O'Connor

  “Let me guess, they were all about the dashing Henry?” We’d spent about an hour last night discussing how charming Henry seemed to be. Helen was utterly taken by him.

  “There might have been one or two dreams that featured him.” Helen placed a platter of fresh fruit in front of me. “The kitchen is well stocked, and I’ve made the batter for pancakes after we finish with the healthy stuff.”

  “Sounds good,” I said, as I speared a chunk of melon onto a fork.

  The kitchen door opened and a man with sandy brown hair and dark eyes strolled through. He wore a navy overall and had a checked shirt tied around his middle. His jaw was strong and firm, but as his gaze settled on me and Helen, I saw a coldness in his eyes that made me shudder.

  “Who are you?” he asked, his steps slowing as he spotted us at the table.

  “We work here,” I said. “And you are?”

  He gave a nod. “You must be the new help.”

  “Helen and Lorna.” I raised my eyebrows at him, expecting an introduction.

  “Good luck in those roles,” he said, giving us a sly smile. “Lady C is a handful.” He strolled over to where the kettle sat on the stove and poured himself a drink. “I’m Billy Jacob. I’m the handyman on the estate. Anything breaks, you come find me.”

  “How long have you worked here?” asked Helen, wrinkling her nose as she watched Billy dip a finger into the pancake batter mixture.

  “Must be five years now,” said Billy after he’d sucked the batter from his finger.

  “Any secrets we should know about?” Helen jumped up and grabbed the bowl, moving it out of Billy’s reach.

  “You come to my room tonight, and I’ll show you a secret or two.” Billy grinned at Helen.

  Helen’s nose wrinkled even more. “It’s okay, I’m happy to find out the secrets on my own.”

  Billy barked out a laugh. “Your loss. How about you?” His gaze turned to me.

  “I’m happily taken,” I said.

  “Makes no difference to me. Although I do prefer blondes.” Billy’s gaze returned to Helen.

  “Well, it does to me,” I said sharply.

  Billy pulled out a tin of tobacco from his back pocket and began to roll a cigarette. “Guess you’ve met the family.”

  “We were introduced to Lady Camilla yesterday,” I said. “And we also ran into Ranulph when we first arrived.”

  “That snivelling little snot,” said Billy. “Watch out for him, he likes to think he runs the place.”

  “We figured that out already,” said Helen. “He tried to shoot us in an effort to show what a big man he is.”

  Billy licked the tobacco paper, rolled it into a thin cigarette, and then tucked it behind his ear. “Sounds about right. What he lacks for in brains, he makes up for in fire power. He collects guns, thinks it makes him a hard man. But you only have to look at him the wrong way and he gets scared and runs off.”

  “I’ll give him my fiercest glare the next time we meet,” I said.

  Billy nodded. “That would do it. I enjoy winding him up, though, seeing how far I can push him before he threatens to sack me or shoot me. He never goes through with either of those things. I think Lady C despises him almost as much as everybody else does. His god complex doesn’t impress her.”

  An old-fashioned copper bell hanging on the wall rang over a sign marked study.

  “Looks like you’re needed,” said Billy, bobbing his head in the direction of the bell.

  “The family still use a bell system to summon staff?” I asked.

  “They do.” Billy grinned. “They’re stuck in the wrong century. But Lady C doesn’t like to be kept waiting, so you’d better get a move on.” He grabbed his mug of tea, downed the contents, and headed to the door.

  “Thanks for the warning.” I didn’t like the vibe Billy gave off. His smile looked genuine, but his eyes held no emotion.

  “Welcome to the estate,” said Billy, as he pulled open the door. “I’ll be putting a bet on to see how long the two of you last.”

  As he left the room, Helen shook her head at me. “He’s a charmer. I’ll make sure to add him to my Christmas card list.”

  “He does seem like a jerk,” I said. My gaze went back to the bells on the wall. There was a dozen of them, all marked for different rooms in the house. “Can you believe it, Lady Camilla uses those bells to summon us.”

  “She’s summoning you not me,” said Helen. “After talking to her yesterday, it sounds like I’m going to be hidden below stairs most of the time. And I hate that. I like to get the sun on my skin at least once a day.”

  “You can go upstairs,” I said. “Just keep a low profile when Lady Camilla is about, so she doesn’t put you on bread and gruel for a week as punishment.”

  Helen frowned at me. “I’d resign if she tried to take away my treats. But I will keep out of her way. And I’m also going to keep a low profile whenever Billy is about. I saw him trying to peek down the front of my shirt. I’ve had enough letches to last me a lifetime.”

  “He was arrogant. But he could have been showing off. Some men like to do that, play the big man and think it impresses us feeble-minded women.” I flapped my hand in front of my face and placed it against my forehead in a mock swoon.

  “He’s picked the wrong two women if he thinks that’s going to work,” said Helen.

  I smiled at her. “We definitely don’t like men who brag about their assets.”

  “I didn’t mind it when Henry was talking about his estate,” said Helen. “And I’d like to know more. He said he was a neighbor, and everyone with a house around here must have heaps of money.”

  “I bet you can’t buy a one-bed apartment for less than quarter of a million in this area.” I grinned at Helen as she dumped the contaminated batter mix down the sink and began to make a new batch.

  Helen beat the flour, eggs, and sugar together briskly before pouring the first two ladles into a hot pan. “I wonder if I’ll get to see where Henry lives?”

  “Just remember, money isn’t everything. You have to ask yourself if you’d still love him if he lived in a tent and got his clothes from a thrift store.”

  “I know there’s more to a man than the amount of money in his bank account.”

  I nodded. That was definitely the case when it came to my Zach. He would never be rich working as a gardener, but the fact he was happy doing something he loved outweighed that fact. His happiness made me happy, and I’d even live in a tent with him, at a push.

  “You should get a move on,” said Helen. “I bet Lady Camilla doesn’t like ringing the bell more than once to get what she needs.”

  I finished off the piece of pineapple I was eating and stood. “You’re right. Better go and see what she wants.”

  Helen scooped a pancake out of the pan, wrapped it in a paper towel, and handed it to me. “Enjoy this on the way.”

  “Thanks. I need all the energy I can get. I’m not sure where to start on that paperwork Lady Camilla mentioned, it all sounds like a mess. I have a feeling I’ll be sorting and shredding out-of-date bits of paper for weeks before I can make any headway.” I bit into the pancake and closed my eyes for a second to enjoy the sweet, fluffy treat.

  “If anyone can get it sorted, you can,” said Helen. “You’re a genius at what you do.”

  “Stop, or I’ll get a big ego, just like the lovely Ranulph.”

  “You’d better not,” said Helen. “Or they’ll be no more pancakes for you.”

  I jumped and dropped the rest of my pancake on the floor as a thumping sound echoed through the walls. “What was that?”

  Flipper jumped up and dashed to the wall, ignoring the piece of pancake, his ears flat against his head.

  “You don’t think we’ve got a ghostly visitor?” asked Helen. “You’ve not seen anything have you?”

  “I’ve had a few odd feelings,” I said. “I got the impression the walls were shifting when we first arrived. But I’ve not seen a ghost or felt any co
ld spots as I walked around.”

  “Maybe they’re trying to show themselves to you but they don’t have much energy,” said Helen. “How are you feeling now? Any ghostly chills?”

  I did feel odd. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing up, and a shiver was inching down my spine. “There could be someone here.” I crept closer to the wall and pressed my hand against it.

  The kitchen door banged open and Billy charged in brandishing a wrench. “God-awful noise. The plumbing in this place is as old as the hills. Lady C refuses to get it updated, so we have to put up with this noise all the time.” He pumped his fist against the wall. “I’d smash through this, wrench out the ancient pipework, and have it all replaced with plastic. That would solve the problem, but her Ladyship won’t hear of it.”

  The thudding sound continued as we all stared at the wall, Flipper grumbling in his chest as his gaze remained fixed on the white, peeling paintwork.

  “It’s definitely the pipes that are the problem?” asked Helen.

  “Nothing else it could be,” said Billy. “It started happening a couple of years ago. Must be because the lead is breaking down. Lucky if we don’t all get poisoned by it.”

  “Is the water safe to drink?” Helen looked at our empty mugs on the table.

  “Don’t worry, Princess, Lady C buys in the bottled stuff. Ask Manfred to get you a few bottles of your own for down here if you think the water’s dodgy. He does all the household ordering.”

  The thudding in the wall slowly eased, and the chill running down my spine faded along with the noise.

  “That’s better,” said Billy. “I’d better go down to the basement and check nothing has leaked. If there’s water pouring everywhere there will be hell to pay.” He paused by the door. “Oh, and there’s some guy outside asking for you, Lorna.”

  “Who is it?” I asked.

  “Didn’t bother to get his name,” said Billy. “He’s got dirt under his fingernails though, and a shirt that’s seen better days, covered in grass stains. I thought he was a beggar, to begin with, but he reckons he knows you.”

  I nodded, a smile already on my face, despite Billy’s insults. There was only one man I knew who looked good in a grass-stained shirt.

  “Go on, go and see Mr. Perfect,” said Helen, waving me away with a hand. “I have a stack of pancakes to eat.”

  I gave Helen a quick wave goodbye, and hurried along the hallway to the front door with Flipper. Zach was just the tonic I needed after being spooked by those pipes.

  As I pulled open the front door, I spotted Zach and Jessie standing by his Land Rover. I ran across the gravel and flung my arms around his neck. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

  Zach pulled me close to him and kissed my forehead. “I had to go out and get some supplies, thought I’d stop in on my way back. How are things with you?”

  “Interesting.” I stepped back, and bent down to pat Jessie’s head. She was already bouncing on her paws, her dark eyes gleaming with delight as she saw her best friend, Flipper.

  “Define interesting.”

  “Well, our new employer is a little on the frosty side,” I said. “And we have to stay in the servants’ quarters downstairs.”

  “That’s very old-fashioned of her,” said Zach. “Anything else?”

  I twisted a strand of hair around one finger. “Someone tried to shoot Flipper when we arrived.”

  Zach’s gaze hardened. “Did this person threaten you as well?”

  “No, he was a wimp pretending he knew how to use a gun,” I said. “When Helen and I stood up to him, he turned tail and almost ran. But I definitely won’t mind never seeing him again.”

  Zach raised his eyebrows. “And?”

  I grabbed Zach’s hand. “If you’re asking if there are any ghosts, then so far, no.” My thoughts turned briefly to the banging pipes in the kitchen and the strange sensations I’d had. But I was telling the truth, I hadn’t seen anything unusual.

  Zach let out a sigh and his shoulders eased down. “Well, that’s a good thing. If all you have to cope with is an old-fashioned employer, then you should handle that just fine.”

  “It will just take some getting used to after our last place of work,” I said. “Jasmine and Chris were lovely to work for.”

  “It’s a shame they no longer needed you,” said Zach.

  “It is, but I’m glad it happened,” I said. “Thanks to what we did for them, they no longer needed me or Helen. They can run their own household and look after themselves again. And although the job was a good one, this one should be fine. Like you say, it’s just different circumstances, I need to get used to that. I’ve done old-fashioned and stuffy before.”

  “You’ll be great at it,” said Zach. “Have you got time for a walk? I know Jessie has been missing Flipper like crazy. And I might have been missing you a little as well.”

  “I haven’t,” I said, my bottom lip jutting out. “Lady Camilla is probably rattling the bell like a possessed nun because I didn’t come running on her first ring.”

  “What bell?”

  I explained how the system worked in the house. “So, I think I’m going to get in trouble on my first day. How’s your new job going?”

  A big smile lit up Zach’s face. “It’s great. The landowner is one of these Internet self-made millionaires. He’s got a passion for conservation, and he’s bought this huge piece of land and wants to turn it into a haven for local wildlife. It’s incredible, full of native trees and shrubs. There’s so much potential there, I almost don’t know where to start. He wants ponds to encourage frogs and newts to breed, and an enormous number of additional trees planted, and he’s even talking about bringing in livestock to act as natural grazers. It will be amazing having herds of sheep and goats around to keep the weeds and grass in check. And he’s something of a buff when it comes to butterflies as well, and is talking about a wildflower oasis.”

  “That all sounds lovely,” I said, grinning as Zach’s face lit up as he talked about his work. “Sounds like you’re going to have your hands full.”

  “I don’t mind for a second,” said Zach. “Seth, my new boss, is chilled out about things. He basically said he’d give me a blank check and I can get on and do the work that needs doing. He’s going to come by a couple of times a week and see how things are going, but other than that I can get on with it. I can hire my own team of staff if I need them, and can order as many pieces of machinery as I want. He’s a great guy.”

  “I wish my employer was so flexible,” I said. “We’re not going to get to spend that much time together; no male visitors is one of her inflexible rules.”

  Zach scrubbed at the stumble on his chin and frowned. “I’m not going to stop coming by and seeing you.”

  “We can see each other on my day off.”

  “A whole day. I guess I should feel privileged.”

  I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. “We’ll have time together. And from the sounds of it, you’re going to be too busy to notice I’m not around so much.”

  Zach raised his eyebrows. “I’ll notice. When’s your day off? I can plan something nice for us to do.”

  “Sunday,” I said. “I’ll give you a call and we can meet up.”

  “Maybe if I meet your boss, I could try to charm her, see if I can make her change her mind about the no men rule. She could be lonely, I might be just what she needs.”

  I swatted his arm. “Honestly, she’s a bit of an old maid. And there’s no husband around. He died years ago, but I haven’t seen any pictures of him in the house. Lady Camilla lives here with just her son and the staff.”

  “That does sound lonely,” said Zach. “Maybe she acts the way she does because she’s been isolated for too long.”

  “Could be that,” I said. “Maybe she’ll warm up to me when we get to know each other.” I glanced at the front door, knowing I was short on time and worried I’d get in trouble.

  “Can’t you spare me five minutes now for
a quick tour outside?” asked Zach. “We’re not going to see each other for a week, and the grounds look amazing. I’d love to work here.”

  I glanced at the front door again. “Well, I guess five minutes won’t hurt. I’ve not had much of a chance to look around outside yet. Come on.” I grabbed Zach’s hand, feeling like a naughty schoolgirl sneaking a boy back to my dorm room, and we hurried past the house, heading towards the garages, the dogs bounding along behind us.

  There were several raised flower beds, with neat rows of late summer roses in them, and the heady scent of lavender hung in the air as we reached the garages. Sleepy bees buzzed around the flowers as they collected nectar.

  “What’s in here?” Zach peered through one of the small panes of glass. “Wow! You need to see this.”

  “What is it?” I stood on my tiptoes and looked in.

  “Vintage cars,” said Zach. “Loads of them.”

  I shrugged as I looked at the cars, they weren’t really my thing. So long as my car had an engine, ran smoothly, and didn’t cost much to fill with gas, that’s all I cared about.

  “There are a dozen vehicles in there,” said Zach. “Must be worth over a million pounds of cars.”

  I shook my head. Why anyone would want to waste so much money on cars was beyond me. “I didn’t know you were into cars.”

  “You’ve seen my Land Rover, so you know I’m not,” said Zach, giving me a wry smile. “But even you’ve got to admire these.”

  Flipper slowed as he ran past the garage. He looked up at me and gave a whine, his nose pointing at the closed garage door.

  “Nothing in there for you,” I said to him. “Go play with Jessie while she’s here.”

  Flipper’s tail went down, and he looked from me to Jessie.

  I shooed him away gently. “Go have fun. Play while you can. Once we’re with Lady Camilla, you’re not going to be able to make a sound.”

  Flipper heaved a sigh, before turning and bounding away. His behavior was strange. Maybe there was a smell in the garage he didn’t like.

  I looked inside the garage again and spotted a silver Jaguar, a coffee-colored Aston Martin, and a red convertible. “Okay, they’re nice looking cars.”