Ten Things We Did (and Probably Shouldn't Have)

by Sarah Mlynowski

  “I know,” she snapped.

  “I don’t understand,” Marissa said. “Why would you do that?”

  “She’s a real go-getter.” Vi’s voice was snide. “I didn’t know he was going to go for it, though.”

  Marissa shook her head. “You were testing him?”

  “No. I was trying to get him to . . .” Vi sighed. “Never mind.”

  “You okay?” I asked carefully.

  Vi rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be? I don’t care who he hangs out with. We’re just friends.”

  Marissa and I shared a look.

  “I’m hungry,” Vi said, pulling herself out of the tub. “Do either of you want nachos?”

  Marissa shook her head. “No thanks.”

  Vi let the door slide closed with a bang.

  “She likes him, right?” Marissa asked.

  “Yup.”

  “Commitment issues?” Marissa wondered.

  “She has this thing about boyfriends tying her down and then deserting her. Parent issues.”

  She nodded. “Speaking of parent issues, how are you doing here? You seem really good on your own.”

  “I am,” I said, smiling. “I’m getting the hang of it.”

  “And you’re happy?” She looked at me across the water, eyes hopeful.

  I considered. “Yes,” I said. I was happy.

  “And Noah?”

  “Noah is great,” I said. “We’re great.”

  She ran her fingers through the water. “If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

  “I’m happy,” I assured her. “But Vi isn’t.”

  “Then let’s go eat some nachos and cheer her up.”

  Once inside, I put my arm around Vi. “Now can I hate her? Or is that antifeminist?”

  “Both,” she said, and popped a chip in her mouth. “But please. Go right ahead.”

  AND THEN THERE WERE FOUR

  “So,” Marissa said on our Friday morning drive to school. She was sitting up front with Vi while I stretched out across the back. “I spoke to Aaron last night and we were wondering something . . .”

  “Yeah?”

  “Since you have no parents and since I’m very sad that I will not be spending the summer with my boyfriend, can he come visit?”

  “Here?” I was glad I wasn’t driving because I would have veered into the sidewalk.

  “Yeah,” she said. “Unless that’s not cool. Which I totally understand. But he wants to see me and he could drive in after school if you guys didn’t mind. . . .”

  “Of course we don’t mind!” Vi shrieked.

  We didn’t? We were kind of enjoying the BFF-bonding time, I thought. Especially me, since I was with both of my BFFs. “No, that’s fine. Fun!” I lied.

  “Really? You guys are the best! I’m going to call and tell him right now. Hi!” she squealed into the phone. “They said it was cool! Yay! I told you they had a hot tub, right?”

  Is it wrong that I wasn’t overjoyed to share my house—or my Hula—with a guy I had only met a few times?

  “Does he have any cute friends?” Vi asked. “Tell him to bring one along.”

  Two strange guys. Even better.

  ONE MORE MONKEY SLEEPING IN THE BED

  They rolled in at eleven. Aaron. Plus Brett.

  Aaron ran inside, picked Marissa up and twirled her around. “I missed you,” he said.

  She kissed him firmly on the mouth.

  “Get a room,” Vi sang.

  Marissa blushed and pulled away. I wondered if she was rethinking her sex plan. She was going to wait until this summer, but now . . .

  “Hey, April,” Aaron said, giving me a hug. Aaron was tall and had dark hair, almost black, and thick eyebrows. He looked a little like Bert from Sesame Street, but cute.

  “This is for you guys,” Brett said. He had long, blond, straight hair and looked like a surfer. He handed Vi a large bouquet of flowers. “Thank you for having us.”

  “That is so sweet!” Vi said, smelling them and appraising Brett. “Very thoughtful.”

  “So where should we put our stuff?” he asked.

  “Aaron should put his things in my mom’s room with Marissa’s. That’s where he’s sleeping. And you leave your things in the living room beside the TV. And if you play your cards right, you may be able to move them into my room.”

  Oh God.

  His eyes widened. “I’m a champ at poker.”

  Game on.

  ALL TOGETHER NOW

  Upstairs, all of them were Hulaing, including Lucy.

  Aaron had his arm around Marissa, and the two of them were gazing at each other and whispering and giggling adorably.

  “Do you find Lucy has a weird stare?” Noah whispered when he got there.

  “You get used to it,” I whispered back. “Did you bring your bathing suit?”

  “No. That thing is a bacteria soup.”

  I didn’t press. He’d been in the hot tub once with me, only when Vi wasn’t home. I guessed he was self-conscious about his weight. Not that I thought he was too skinny, but I knew he did. Or maybe he just didn’t want to have to talk to Vi.

  “Hey, everyone!”

  “April!” Vi called. She had her arm around Brett. “We’re having such a great time.”

  “Great,” I said.

  “You have to come Hula. It’s so hot in here. It’s the hottest tub in Westport! Noah, do you know who the hottest girl in Westport is? According to—”

  “It seems kind of full,” I interrupted her.

  “Ah, Hula can take it,” she said. “Can’t you, Hula? But guess who’s coming over? Miss Teen Westport and her boyfriend.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “Um . . .” Because you are secretly in love with Dean and you invited him over to make him jealous with your surfer boy. “Are you drunk?”

  “No. I’ve had one beer. I’m going to get Pinky to do her wave.” She flickered her fingers.

  “What is she talking about?” Noah asked me.

  “Her beauty pageant wave!” Lucy shrieked. Her eyes were shining and I guessed she had already had more than one beer. Maybe I should call her mother.

  “Can you get more beers?” Vi asked me. “Since you’re up. And dry.”

  I heard the doorbell and dreaded opening it. Dean and Pinky were bad enough. But was Hudson with them? Noah was already weirded out by the random guys here. It would not help if Hudson showed up too.

  It was just Dean and Pinky.

  “Hey,” I said with a hand flourish. “Welcome.”

  Noah and Dean nodded to each other.

  “There she is,” Vi sang from the other side of the glass.

  “Let’s see a wave!” Lucy hollered.

  Oh my. This was not good.

  Lucy, Vi, and Brett were now all waving their hands, beauty pageant style.

  Pinky waved back, laughing. Dean looked like he wanted to retreat right out the door. “Is she drunk?” he asked me.

  “No. Just obnoxious.”

  “Who’s that guy?” he asked.

  “Friend of Marissa’s boyfriend. They drove in from Boston.”

  “And they’re staying . . . ?”

  “Here.”

  Dean’s jaw dropped. “Both of them.”

  “Yes.”

  “Where are they sleeping?”

  “Aaron is sleeping with Marissa, and Brett will be on the couch,” I said. “Definitely the couch.” I hoped.

  As we watched through the glass, Vi put her arms around Brett and kissed him on the mouth.

  Poor Jane! Poor Jilted Jane!

  JILTED JANE

  “Vi,” Marissa told us an hour earlier, pulling Vi and me into the kitchen. “Brett has a girlfriend named Jane.”

  I was emptying a bag of tortilla chips into a bowl. “His girlfriend didn’t mind him coming over and spending the weekend with us?” I said.

  “I don’t know,” Marissa said, twirling a cur
l around her finger. “I told Aaron to bring someone else, but Brett has a car and . . . sorry. Seriously. I wanted to warn you.”

  “He doesn’t act like he has a girlfriend,” Vi said, shaking her head. “He’s been eyeballing me since the bed comments. What is wrong with guys? No one is forcing him to have a girlfriend. He could choose to be single. Yet instead he chooses to have one, and then still flirts with me. I should hook up with him, take a picture, and send it to his girlfriend.”

  I shook my head and knelt down in front of the fridge to find the salsa.

  “That’s terrible!” Marissa shrieked. “Why would you do that? Jane would be devastated!”

  “Better now than later, don’t you think? Doesn’t she deserve to know that he’s an ass?”

  “He might not be an ass! He hasn’t even done anything! He just flirted with you! We don’t know that he did anything. It’s just a rumor!” Marissa said.

  “What rumor?” I asked, rummaging through the shelves. Some of these yogurts had expired. We needed to do a sweep back here. Found it! “What are you talking about?” I closed the fridge and put the jar on the counter.

  Marissa was red. “Nothing. I’m just saying . . . it’s entrapment.”

  “Jane will appreciate it later,” Vi said.

  I laughed. “That is a picture I would never want to see. Noah with some other girl? No thanks. Trust me. Jane won’t appreciate it at all. She’ll despise you. You’ll be that girl. Don’t be that girl.”

  Vi put her hand on her hip. “Who’d you rather be, the girl who participates in the cheating or the girl who gets cheated on?”

  Marissa throws up her hands. “The girl who gets cheated on isn’t doing anything wrong! It’s not her fault. The girl who participates in the cheating sucks!”

  “I know which one I’d rather be,” I said, carrying the bowl into the living room. “Neither.”

  SOIRÉE CONTINUED

  Vi still had her tongue down Brett’s throat in the hot tub.

  “You know what?” Dean said. “I think we’re going to go.”

  No, no, no! “You just got here! Don’t go. She’s just . . .”

  “Pinky, wanna go to Kernan’s?”

  Kernan was a senior who was apparently having a competing soirée.

  “Already?” Pinky asked. Her voice was deeper than you’d expect. She sounded kind of like a forty-year-old woman.

  “Don’t go,” I said. “Hold on.” I ran back outside, knelt down, and squeezed Vi’s shoulder. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

  She pulled away from Brett. “What?”

  “You’re being a jerk,” I said. “Dean is here.”

  “I’m being a jerk? He brought Pinky.”

  “You made him bring Pinky!”

  “Hey,” Pinky said, suddenly looming over the tub. “Thanks for inviting us.”

  “Yeah, thanks so much,” Dean said. “We’re just stopping by to say hi. We’re going to Kernan’s.”

  “Oh, you are, are you?” Vi asked.

  “We are,” Dean said, glaring.

  Vi smiled. “Pinky can’t leave without giving us her best beauty pageant wave, now can she?”

  Pinky laughed, and did her wave. Everyone in the hot tub cheered. When she was done, she put her arm around Dean. “Ready?”

  Dean was still looking at Vi. “Yeah,” he said slowly. “Sure.”

  Oh God. Vi very obviously put her hand on Brett’s leg. Maybe it was better if Dean and Pinky left. Having the four of them here was encouraging an X-rated game of chicken. “Okay,” I said quietly, so Vi wouldn’t hear. “Bye. Have a great night.”

  After locking the door behind Dean and Pinky, I pulled Noah back outside.

  “Did he really leave?” Vi asked, standing up. Water dripped down her back.

  “Yup.”

  “I can’t believe he left.”

  “I guess he didn’t want to stay and watch you hook up with some random guy,” I barked.

  “I wasn’t . . .” She climbed out of the tub, and wrapped a towel around herself. “Uch. He’s so annoying.”

  “Where are you going?” Brett asked.

  “To get something to eat. I want pizza.”

  “Yes!” Brett cheered. “Pepperoni!”

  “I’ll order,” Noah said taking out his cell. “I know the guys at Bertucci’s.”

  “I can order my own pizza,” she snapped.

  “Okaaaay,” Noah said, passing the phone to her. “Here you go.”

  Vi barked her order into the phone. “I’m freezing. I’m getting back in the water.” She hurried back outside and slid down in the tub.

  Brett tried to put his arm around Vi, but she pushed it off. I guessed he would be sleeping on the couch after all.

  “Can I invite RJ?” Noah asked me.

  “No,” I said. “He always brings Corinne.”

  “Then can we go to your room?” he asked.

  I sighed. “Fair enough.”

  HIDING

  Noah pulled my covers over his head. “Do we have to go back upstairs?” We’d been hiding out in the basement for the last hour.

  “I hope not,” I said. “But do we want food? There’s pizza.”

  “Hardly. She ordered from Pete’s Pie. Yuck. Not worth the trip upstairs.” He shook his head. “I don’t know how you can stand living with her.”

  “Noah!”

  “What? She’s so obnoxious.”

  “She is not. She’s just . . . opinionated.”

  “I’m glad it’s not me. I couldn’t take Vi twenty-four seven.”

  “It’s not twenty-four seven,” I said. “It’s not like she’s in any of my classes.”

  Not that I’d admit it to Noah, but I was glad we were in different grades. It was nice to have some away time. Instead I changed the subject. “I’m hungry.”

  “You must have some food squirreled away down here.”

  “No. Nothing.”

  “Too bad Donut isn’t an actual donut.”

  Donut meowed. Loudly. She batted at her leg cast.

  “Don’t worry, Donut,” I said. “We promise not to eat you.”

  Noah shook his head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, cutie.”

  I pushed him back and looked him in the eye. “Donut is cute. I want to be hot.”

  He patted my head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, hottie.”

  Not quite what I was going for.

  ONE DAY TOO MANY

  “Is it Sunday yet?” Vi said, lying across my futon the next morning.

  I sat up and laughed. “Not yet.”

  “A one-night sleepover would have been fine.”

  “Two nights . . . a bit much?”

  “I want my living room back. And they are such slobs. They leave my toilet seat up! And dishes in the sink! You and Donut are lucky to have your own floor.”

  “Truth. Where is everyone?”

  “Marissa and Aaron are locked away in my mom’s room.”

  “Really . . . and what are they doing in there?”

  “Hopefully not going through her closets. You do not want to know what she has in there.”

  “Oh God. What?”

  She laughed. “Nothing you would want, my friend. Costumes. From every play she’s ever been in. She steals them.”

  “I think I’ll pass,” I said, flipping my pillow. “And Brett?”

  She crawled into bed with me. “Asleep on the couch.”

  “You decided not to be the other woman?” I asked.

  “Not worth it. He’s cute but . . . maybe he would have been a good first-timer. Better than Dean. At least he would have disappeared to Boston after.”

  “Speaking of Dean . . .” I raised an eyebrow. “Did you call him?”

  She scrunched up her face. “No. Why would I?”

  “Come on, Vi.” I flicked her shoulder. “First of all, he’s your friend. But also, he likes you. And you like him. You must know that.”

  “If he liked me, why would h
e be with Pinky?” she huffed.

  “Because you basically threw her at him?”

  She shrugged. “Whatever. I don’t care.”

  Yeah. Whatever.

  We heard stomping overhead. Vi buried her head in my pillow. “Make them go home.”

  I felt bad. This was her house, and Marissa was my friend. “I’ll tell them to leave if you want me to.”

  “Yes. No.” She sighed. She scratched Donut behind the ears. “I’ll try to be nice. But Donut, if you happen to bite their ankles, there will be a can of tuna in your future.”

  BON VOYAGE

  There was a teary good-bye. Not for everyone, obviously, but for Marissa and Aaron.

  “I’ll drive in again soon,” Aaron said. “Promise.”

  We waved good-bye to the boys as they drove off. I wrapped my arm around Marissa’s shoulders. “Did you have fun?”

  “So much. Thank you two for letting them stay.”

  “And so . . . did you do it?” Vi asked, leaning forward.

  “I don’t kiss and tell,” Marissa said haughtily.

  Vi swatted her on the arm. “Oh, come on!”

  She smiled. “Okay, okay. No. I didn’t.”

  “Really? How come?”

  “How come you didn’t hook up with Brett?”

  “Because I’m not a total skank.” She laughed. “Because it didn’t feel right.”

  “Exactly. It wasn’t the right time,” she said. “Not yet.”

  I squeezed her shoulder. I was happy to have Marissa all to myself again.

  “Can we go back inside now?” Vi said. “Snack?”

  “Sure,” I said, about to follow.

  Marissa pulled me back when Vi walked in. “Wait, I want to talk to you for a sec. I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and saw Vi doing an exercise video.”

  I laughed. “Where was Brett?”

  “Passed out on the couch.”

  “Yeah, she’s obsessed with those videos. She probably wanted to work off the pizza.”

  “April, working out at three in the morning is odd behavior. Especially if she does it a lot.”

  “She does it a lot,” I admitted.

  “Maybe you need to talk to her mom about it?”

  “Omigod, Vi’d kill me. And it’s not like her mom would do anything.” And Vi and I had a code. We were the abandoned girls. Calling her mom would be throwing our code off the roof of the house and then backing up over it.

  “Maybe you should talk to her.”

  “And say what?”