Mercy Point

by Anna Snoekstra

  She was tossing up whether or not to go to the video store. She still didn’t feel sick, but at the same time what if that first time had just been a fluke? What if this second time she did start feeling sick and she made a fool of herself? It was definitely better to leave it as a one-time thing, as something positive she could hold on to as proof that sometimes it was possible for her to do things.

  It was almost seven pm when she got the message.

  OhSammyBoy: Is anyone up for meeting up? We don’t all have to, but I’d like to.

  That seemed odd to her. They’d all made it clear to Sam that it wasn’t going to happen. She didn’t know why he thought they would have changed their minds. But after just a few moments, another message came through.

  PumpkinDreams: Okay.

  That came as a surprise. Emma had seemed the most positive of all of them that it wasn’t what she wanted. Then her phone dinged again.

  M.Dot: Me too.

  That really floored her. Now, it was just her and Fabian. She wanted to say no, of course not, what were they thinking. But she hesitated. The time she’d spent with Fabian actually had been really nice. Maybe she could go and ask him what he thought about it all? It would be great to have someone to discuss this whole weird situation with.

  As she walked to the video store, she started to worry again. What if Fabian hadn’t really meant to invite her? Maybe he was just being polite, just looking for a thing to say. She stopped in the road and considered turning back. But that was stupid; she’d already come this far. Anyway, she could always pretend she genuinely just wanted to rent a movie if it was awkward. Her stomach actually wasn’t feeling too bad and she knew that the more she thought about it the worse it would get. So instead of going home, she hurried on.

  She pushed open the door and the little bell rang. Fabian looked up and grinned.

  ‘Thank God you came! I was getting so bored.’

  She shrugged and walked to lean against the counter. There was still no one in the video store. The sounds of the movie Fabian had on, a dated-looking gangster flick, seemed to echo around the empty space. Fabian paused it.

  ‘Did you get the messages?’ she asked.

  ‘Yeah. Strange, right? Why would Emma change her mind?’

  ‘I know. Sam seemed cool though, didn’t he?’

  ‘Yeah. But, I don’t know. I’m still not sure what the point could be. I’m not seeing this having a Breakfast Club type of finale, you know?’

  ‘Mmm,’ she said, although she had no idea what he was talking about. ‘So are you going to say no?’

  ‘Are you?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Why don’t we just think about it and watch a movie?’

  ‘Okay,’ she said.

  ‘Awesome, you pick one and I’ll pop some popcorn,’ he said, jumping off his small stool and going out the back. She laughed privately at how short he was when he got off it.

  ‘Now comes the real test!’ he yelled from the back room. ‘What movie are you going to pick? I’m sorry but we can’t be friends if you pick Twilight.’

  She smiled to herself. They were friends. He had said it.

  ‘I’ve never seen it,’ she called back, looking at the bags of mixed lollies. She wondered if he had to package those up.

  ‘You’ve never seen it?!’ he said, appearing back behind the counter.

  ‘Nope, it looked dumb,’ she said.

  ‘Okay, we’re going to have to do something about that,’ he said, marching over to the stacks and taking out the Twilight DVD.

  ‘But I thought you said you hated it?’ she said, hearing the popcorn popping in the microwave.

  ‘I do!’ he said, slipping the disc into the player. All six screens in the shop started playing the opening titles. He opened a camping chair next to his stool and she came around to sit down.

  ‘Now, you have to decide if you are team Edward, or team Jacob. Personally, I’m team Jacob. He’s gorgeous. Anyway, Edward is too controlling,’ he said, and despite his light tone, she noticed his face flush ever so slightly. She realised he’d just shared something very personal with her, and it made her inexplicably happy to know that he trusted her.

  ‘One of them is a vampire or something, right?’ she asked, leaning back in the chair.

  He looked at her with genuine surprise. ‘Wow, you really have been living under a rock!’

  ‘Hey!’ she said, laughing.

  The opening of the film was drowned out by the popping of the microwave popcorn, but she didn’t care.

  ‘That popcorn smells awesome,’ she said.

  After only ten minutes, Tessie started laughing. ‘This movie is so stupid!’

  ‘Just wait until the vampires start flying and sparkling in the sunlight.’

  ‘What? They can fly?’

  ‘Yeah, and each of them has, like, superpowers.’

  ‘Oh God.’ She rolled her eyes, then said, ‘They should make a movie about people getting anti-superpowers. Like, just going blind for ten minutes or something like that.’

  She took a handful of popcorn. Luckily, the weird blindness thing hadn’t happened again. It must have been a panic attack. She’d read about people with symptoms like hers having panic attacks, although they never mentioned losing your sight. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Fabian was staring at her. She turned to face him.

  ‘What? You’re looking at me weird.’

  ‘Why did you say that thing about blindness?’

  She shrugged, looking down. It must have been a weird thing to say. She knew she would mess this up. She should never have come. Her stomach started to churn.

  ‘Seriously,’ he was saying, ‘why?’

  She could lie, make a dumb joke, then a quick excuse and get out of here. But she didn’t want to. She wanted to be able to be Fabian’s friend.

  ‘Because it happened to me,’ she said to her knees. ‘That’s why I came here all upset. It happened in the middle of my jog. I couldn’t see.’

  ‘I remember your eyes.’ His voice was warm, and Tessie looked up at him. ‘You looked in through the glass, but it was like you didn’t see me.’

  She nodded. Even the memory of it made her feel shaky. ‘I know, it sounds crazy. I can be weird sometimes. I get really freaked out about things and then it’s like my body is working against me, which only makes it worse and well, it’s hard to explain.’ She couldn’t believe she was saying these things out loud. She waited to feel the familiar queasiness, the urge to run. It didn’t happen. In fact, she felt kind of good.

  Looking up at Fabian, his expression wasn’t what she expected. He leaned towards her. ‘It happened to me too,’ he said.

  ‘What?’ That was the last thing she had expected him to say.

  ‘The blindness. Sometimes these weird hearing things too.’ He shook his head and exhaled slowly. ‘Tessie, I know I’ve seen too many movies, but wow. What if this is all connected? What if something really strange is going on here?’

  She thought on it for a few seconds, then pulled out her phone. ‘We’re going to have to talk to the others.’

  CHAPTER 11

  MICHAEL

  Michael knew second chances didn’t happen often. That’s why he was determined not to screw this one up.

  With his mum gone and a pig man for a father, he’d thought his life had sucked. This week, without the message board, he’d found out how crap things could really be. He realised he hated his friends. They were just too easy. You could spend the whole day with them and it was like just hanging out by yourself. They never talked about anything that even mattered. Tessie, Fabian, Sam and Emma were different. Much as he was loath to admit it, he sort of enjoyed their difference.

  Not that it really mattered. They hated his guts. Ever since they agreed last night to meet up again, he had swung wildly between two opposite feelings. He had lain in bed in his dirty sheets and been torn between these warring sides. On one hand, he desperately wanted to fix thin
gs. To somehow make it work. He wasn’t sure how. It wasn’t like he was going to hang out with these people at school or anything like that. But he wanted to find the truth about himself, to find out if maybe there was someone out there who actually wanted to be his parent.

  But it wasn’t just that, he’d realised at about four in the morning. It was also purely about Emma, Sam, Fabian and Tessie. They’d seen his true self, and they’d liked it. It was the way everyone else saw him, the way he behaved at school, that they didn’t like. If he could get them back on side, if he could get them to see that he hated the things he did and he didn’t even know why he did them, then maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy, after all. Maybe he wasn’t just another Pig Man waiting to happen.

  Of course, there was the other side of him. The side that was always there. The part of him that thought, screw it, they’re going to hate me anyway, no matter what I do. That part of him thought he may as well not even turn up to the meeting. He may as well show them all how messed up he really could be and do something terrible. Like printing off the personal stuff they’d written on the message board and posting it all over school, or on Facebook. Then, at least, it would be his choice when they decided he really was the scum of the earth. He knew it wasn’t really what he wanted, but at least then it would be him that was in control of how much he was hated, rather than this awful feeling of desperately wanting to be liked. He wasn’t used to that feeling.

  Now, he was making his way to the motel again. He’d never admit it to anyone, but his heart was hammering. He was almost there, just cutting the corner across the wet grass off the main road to the street that went down the hill to the lookout. It was another freezing cold day and he pulled his hooded jumper closer. He’d had a growth spurt over the summer and his winter jacket didn’t fit him anymore. Of course, it wasn’t like Pig Man would give him money to get a new one. It had always been his mum who had sorted out that kind of thing. Anyway, if he was going to ask his dad for money, it wouldn’t be for a coat. It would be for a doctor. Though he’d already decided he wasn’t going to think about that.

  The motel was in front of him now, and he ducked back behind the fence. God, it was embarrassing how nervous he felt. He just knew that the moment he arrived, their faces would set. They’d be disappointed he was there, like last time. If it hadn’t been for him, they probably would have all been friends. They were actually willing to never find out the truth about themselves if it meant spending time with him. You couldn’t get much worse than that.

  Though it seemed maybe they were secretly hanging out together anyway. He’d seen Tessie and Fabian leaving school together yesterday. Worse, he’d seen Sam and Emma in the cafe together. She was touching his face. It was obvious she was into the guy, and what did he expect? She’d made her feelings for him perfectly clear. He’d been so happy to know it was her that he was sharing something so personal with. It had seemed like it was fate, like it was destined somehow. Clearly, for her it was the complete opposite. All week, he’d caught himself repeatedly staring at her. He knew he was being a creep. He had to stop. But it was like his eyes were magnetically drawn to her. It would be much easier if she wasn’t so good-looking.

  He swallowed and approached the motel. He wasn’t going to let himself get all weird about this. He went left, behind the back of the rooms, and ducked down so none of the people inside would see him. When he reached what he counted as room twelve, he peered upwards, just to double-check. There they were, all waiting for him in the scruffy-looking room. Fabian and Tessie were sitting in the two clunky green chairs that pulled out from the small circular table. Emma sat next to Sam on the bed, a little too close for Michael’s liking. Although at least she wasn’t touching his face again. Michael wondered for a moment what her fingertips would feel like against his cheek. He imagined they’d be soft and warm.

  ‘Should we start? Fabian and I actually have something really important to ask you guys,’ Tessie said.

  ‘We should wait for Michael,’ Sam said. Great, the only one he wasn’t sure about was the guy sticking up for him.

  ‘If Michael’s going to be late, then obviously he doesn’t care,’ Emma told him.

  Michael straightened up before it could continue. ‘Not late. I’m right here.’

  He climbed inside. It was like getting into shark-infested waters. The dislike on all their faces was plain to see. Except for Sam’s, of course, who was grinning at him.

  ‘Hey, man.’ Sam actually looked genuinely pleased to see him.

  ‘Hey,’ he said and went back to the spot he’d been earlier, leaning against the cabinet next to the television. It was the only spot to sit, unless he wanted to get on the bed with Sam and Emma. Somehow, he was pretty sure that wouldn’t be appreciated. He crossed his arms over his chest. He was already feeling defensive, and he knew that was exactly the wrong way to behave if he wanted these guys to stop loathing him.

  Tessie glared at him, then began talking. ‘Look, Fabian and I aren’t sure about this —’

  ‘What, are you guys besties now?’ Michael cut in. God, he couldn’t help himself.

  ‘No,’ Fabian spoke in his soft voice, ‘we’ve just talked about it, and we both still feel a bit unsure about how this could possibly work.’

  ‘Then why did you come?’

  ‘Michael, stop being such a fascist and let them finish if you really want to know.’

  Michael smiled over at Emma. He liked it when she called him a fascist. Weirdly, he found it cute. ‘Okay, sorry, my bad. I’ll shut up.’

  They all stared towards Tessie. Now that all eyes were on her, she looked a little pale.

  ‘Can you explain?’ she whispered to Fabian, who nodded.

  ‘Something happened to Tessie and me. It might be just a coincidence, but we wanted to, I don’t know, check, I guess, if it’s something that’s happened to you as well.’

  Michael wanted to yell at Fabian to just spit it out, but he held it in. Part of him felt he might already know what Fabian was going to say, and he hoped that he was right.

  ‘Tessie and I have both experienced . . . it’s hard to describe.’

  ‘Sight loss,’ Michael said so quietly he wasn’t sure if they heard. He couldn’t look up, he was just staring at his own hands that were clasped in front of him. ‘And weird hearing. Is that what you mean?’

  No one said anything, and Michael wished he hadn’t spoken. It must have just been him, after all. It had happened one night when he was hiding out from his dad in his bedroom. His vision had gone black. It was terrifying. He’d twisted around in bed, swearing and sweating, wanting to call out to his mum but realising she wasn’t there. Then the volume of the sitcom he was watching suddenly went up ten times what it had been a second before. He had desperately tried to find the remote, his ears screaming in pain. Then, as quickly as it had begun, it had stopped.

  ‘Oh God.’ It was Emma’s voice. He forced himself to look up at her. Her face was white.

  ‘It was so strange. I mean, I’ve always wanted my hearing to be normal, but when this happened it was just . . . awful. It was horrible. What about you?’ She turned to Sam.

  He nodded. ‘Not the best to happen at night when you’re camping alone.’

  ‘What does it all mean though?’ asked Tessie. ‘What’s happening to us?’

  ‘Maybe it’s not just us? Maybe it happens to other people too.’ Emma looked around at them. ‘Maybe it’s one of those things people go through but they just never talk about.’

  ‘What, like growing pubes?’ Michael replied.

  She nodded. Michael raised his eyebrows.

  ‘You never know!’ she said.

  ‘I don’t want to sound like a creep, but I’m really glad it’s not just me,’ said Michael. ‘That was seriously scary.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Fabian agreed. They looked at each other for a moment, then Michael turned away.

  It was weird; even though what they were talking about was sort of terrifying and mad
e no sense, he felt a harmony in the room. They were all going through the same thing. They really were bound together somehow.

  ‘I guess it means that they got us from the same place,’ Emma was saying now. ‘Maybe we all got exposed to some sort of toxic chemical when we were babies.’

  Michael shrugged. ‘That actually sort of makes sense.’

  ‘You don’t need to sound so surprised.’

  ‘What I want to know,’ Tessie butted in, ‘is why it’s suddenly starting now. And if it’s going to keep happening.’

  ‘Or get worse,’ Michael added.

  ‘This is so frustrating.’ Emma leaned forward so her arms were resting on her knees. ‘We deserve to know where we come from, especially if we’re getting sick. It’s so unjust!’

  Michael had actually attempted to ask his dad about it a few nights ago. If his dad didn’t care about him, he didn’t know why he couldn’t just be honest. He’d tried to open up a conversation with him, first one in a week. But his dad had just started going on about Michael’s grades at school. Michael should have known better. His father would never be able to have a normal conversation with him; he couldn’t bear to miss any opportunity to tell him that he was a disappointment. There was no way he was going to get any answers there, even if he was totally blind.

  ‘If they won’t tell us, we’ll just have to work it out ourselves,’ he said.

  ‘Together,’ Sam added.

  Michael looked around at them. They all averted their eyes, but no one said no. He guessed this was a start.

  ‘I have an idea,’ Tessie said quietly. ‘I mean, I guess it’s sort of obvious.’

  ‘Enlighten us,’ he said, eyebrows raised. He couldn’t think of anything that was at all obvious. Tessie raised hers right back at him.

  ‘We need to find our birth records.’