DUMPED

by Lucy Hawkins

  “Come on,” Alex protested. “I know you want to!”

  “It’s really not a good idea,” Hank said. “I’d probably fall and squash you flat on the carpet. Or break something.”

  Alex pouted and continued dancing around the room like there was no one watching. And there wasn’t, aside from Hank. Warmth stirred in his chest as Hank realized Alex felt comfortable enough to completely let loose in front of him. How many other people were that privileged? Shimmying back over to the coffee table, he knelt and poured another drink. Hank reached out and took his wrist, and a jolt ran through both of them.

  “We’ve probably had enough,” he said lowly. “After all, I have to get up early and see to all these wedding guests.”

  “One more.” Alex’s eyes were bright, but his voice was soft. “We’re celebrating after all.”

  He was clearly the drunker of the two of them, though Hank was starting to feel the effects of the scotch as well. He usually only indulged in a beer or two, and the scotch had gone down smoothly enough he hadn’t noticed they’d gone through two-thirds of the bottle already.

  After pouring himself another glass, Alex kept dancing as Maroon 5 faded out and Britney Spears’ Toxic started. He thrust his hips from side to side, lip syncing in an overly-theatrical way. Before Hank could stop himself, he was on his feet, singing along to the chorus as the two battled it out. He spun Alex around, half-stumbling, most of the lyrics swallowed by his laughter. The lip syncing turned into full-on singing, if one could call it that. It was more of a shout. Hank was so wrapped up in watching Alex that it took some time before he noticed it wasn’t just the two of them in the room.

  Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted another person standing in the doorway. He stopped dead in his tracks as he realized it was an incredibly amused Paul. His head spun as he scrambled for words. What was he even supposed to say in this situation?

  “Don’t mind me,” Paul said with a small laugh. “I was passing through town and I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to come surprise you. I wasn’t sure if you’d be awake, let alone…” He gestured in between Hank and Alex.

  Paul had never seen him like this before. Not drunk, and certainly not dancing around like an idiot without a care in the world.

  “We had a wedding here tonight,” Hank said, feeling suddenly like he needed to defend himself for having fun with another guy. “Didn’t I tell you that?”

  If it wasn’t awkward enough for his kind-of-sort-of-sometimes-friend-with-benefits to show up unannounced to find him in a rather embarrassing state, it was made worse by the fact that Alex stood there looking between the two of them, no doubt wondering what the hell was going on. To Hank, it was glaringly obvious. Paul wasn’t exactly passable for straight, with his dyed platinum hair and flamboyant sense of style that rivaled Alex’s own. Why else would he be showing up to visit Hank at the inn at one in the morning, if not to make a surprise booty call?

  “No, I don’t recall you did,” Paul said stiffly. He looked between Hank and Alex, raising his brows as though he’d pieced something together. “I can see this isn’t a great time, though, so I’ll just be on my way.”

  Thick tension loomed in the air, making it difficult for Hank to breathe. There was no reason for it to be awkward. In fact, the only reason it was awkward was because he refused to say anything. Why couldn’t he just play it cool and introduce Paul to Alex? But he knew the answer. He didn’t want to blow whatever it was he had with Alex, even though it was obvious they would never be anything more than friends.

  Alex and Paul both stared at him, waiting for an answer, until finally, Paul attempted a smile and turned to leave. He’d obviously been baiting a response with his last remark.

  “Wait!” Finally finding his words, Hank chased after Paul, catching him at the front entrance of the house as he was about to slip out.

  Paul held his hands up. “Hey, it’s okay. I understand. It was stupid of me to show up unannounced. You said you had some stuff going on a few weeks ago, but I didn’t know that meant you were… seeing someone else, or whatever.”

  “No, I’m not—that isn’t—Alex is just a friend. It isn’t a great time, but you’ve got it all wrong.” As much as Hank wanted to be sympathetic, he couldn’t help the annoyance that flared up. It wasn’t the first time that Paul had shown up unannounced, but this time was different.

  “Look, you don’t owe me an explanation,” Paul said. “We’re just friends who occasionally sleep together, no strings attached. It just… would have been nice to get a heads up, so I didn’t make a fool out of myself. I hope your new guy doesn’t take it too badly.”

  “My… Alex?” Hank frowned. “Why would he be upset?”

  Paul shook his head, closing his eyes and laughing under his breath. Hank couldn’t help feeling like he had missed something, some vital piece of the puzzle that would help everything make sense.

  “I know you said this guy Alex is just a friend, but as an outsider, it certainly didn’t look like it. There’s something more there. The way you two—especially you—were looking at each other, it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out there were feelings involved.” He let out a humorless laugh again. “If it doesn’t work out, you know where to find me.”

  Hank searched for words but could only nod as Paul opened the door and slipped out. He watched him go, bracing himself for the conversation he knew would happen once he returned to the drawing room. It wasn’t as though Hank had hidden his sexuality, but he also didn’t discuss it openly. More than likely, it would be a shock for Alex.

  “You’re gay?”

  Wheeling around, Hank found Alex standing in the doorway of the drawing room staring at him. His arms were crossed, his expression closed off. He nodded, his mouth too dry to form a simple ‘yes.’

  I’m gay.

  The words were so easy to say, and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything.

  “Are you fucking serious right now, Hank?”

  He hadn’t expected that. Hank took a step backwards. Where was Alex’s anger coming from? His hands were curled into fists by his sides, as though he were ready to punch Hank. But what reason did he possibly have? It wasn’t as though Hank had done anything wrong. He hadn’t. If he wanted to have sex with Paul, that was his decision. It wasn’t as though it had anything to do with Alex. God, he was tired of explaining himself to people.

  “Yes, I’m gay,” he said harshly. “I am gay. I like dick. That answer your question?”

  Alex recoiled as though he’d been slapped. “I can’t fucking believe this.” His voice cracked. “All this time. All this fucking time. High school. You were gay in high school?”

  “For as long as I can remember…”

  “Well that’s just fucking great, isn’t it?” Alex glared from behind his crossed arms, but there was something else in his expression. His eyes were overly bright.

  “What the hell are you mad about?” Hank demanded.

  “What the hell am I…” Alex laughed humorlessly. “Are you serious right now? You know damn well what I’m mad about.”

  Hank mentally scrolled through their interactions. He had to be missing something. Some reason Alex would be angry just because he hadn’t mentioned his preference for men.

  “Yeah, I don’t, actually. So why don’t you enlighten me?”

  “Do you have any idea how fucking hard I had it?” Alex bit out. “How hard it was being the only queer kid in a small town? Being scared to… to walk down the corridor at school or be caught out at the lake on my own, because I knew I wouldn’t be left alone?”

  He paced back and forth in the entrance hall, seemingly lost in his own thoughts, before he stopped in his tracks and looked up. “That was you,” Alex continued. “You and your stupid ass group of friends. You made my life hell.”

  All the breath whooshed out of Hank’s lungs as though Alex had punched him. Alex thought him no better than the others on the football team. The ones who really had hurt him. />
  “No,” he whispered.

  “No?” The word was almost savage. “Then by all means, let me remind you.”

  Thirteen

  Alex

  How was this all coming to the surface now? They’d gone from drinking and dancing to confronting the fact that Hank was gay. Hank, who’d made his life hell in high school, was gay. Hank, who by all accounts seemed like a changed man. Hank, who was his friend. Who Alex wanted to be more than just a friend, if he were being honest with himself.

  “You and Charlie Jefferson taunted me, along with the rest of your football pals. There was this… this day at the lake. I went to meet Hazel, but she was late, so I had to wait for her on my own. You and your friends threw rocks at me and called me a fag.” He tried to keep calm, but as he spoke, he grew louder and louder. “And you. You were always at my plays. Always standing in the back, just watching me. What the fuck was that about? I kept waiting for you to say something. Throw something. I was always scared to go on stage—”

  “Hang on.” In one swift move, Hank crossed the hallway and put his hand over Alex’s mouth, muffling a yelp. “I never threw rocks at you that day. And I definitely never called you a fag. Jesus Christ, Alex. After you left, I beat the shit out of Charlie. The only reason I interacted with those guys was because I played football with them. And I went to your plays because I wanted to… I wanted to watch you. It makes me… God, you were scared of me, all those years?”

  Alex took a step back, eyeing Hank warily. His entire body had gone tense, and he looked like he was ready to punch a wall. But there was something in his eyes. A kind of sadness.

  “You wanted to watch me?” Alex asked quietly.

  “Yes, I wanted to watch you!”

  “Why the hell did you want to do that?” He avoided the obvious answer, not even daring to hope.

  “Because I thought you were beautiful,” Hank blurted out.

  “You—” Alex took another step backward, hitting the wall. “You what?”

  Hank stopped pacing and turned to him. “I thought you were beautiful.” The heat in his eyes and tone sent a shiver down Alex’s spine.

  “I don’t understand.” Anger, excitement, and confusion all warred inside Alex, and he didn’t know which one to hold onto.

  “What’s there to understand, goddammit?” Hank growled, still staring intensely at Alex. “You were this—you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. You were smart and funny, and I wanted to get to know you so badly. That’s why I went to your plays. It was the only way I could get close to you. You wouldn’t fucking give me the time of day otherwise.”

  “Why didn’t you just… I dunno… talk to me like a normal fucking person?”

  So many years had passed with Alex thinking Hank was just another asshole who wanted to torment him. They could have had so much longer to do whatever it was they were doing now, but Alex had been so sure Hank was nothing more than a bully. Not anymore. Right now, he was going to take this moment and see where it led.

  “What the hell was I supposed to say to you? You were out of my league. I didn’t stand a chance in hell.” Hank raked his eyes up and down Alex’s body. “Just like now. Look at you with your fancy suit and your perfect hair and—”

  Before he could finish the sentence, Alex had closed the distance in between them, his face inches from Hank’s. He fisted both hands in Hanks’s shirt, their breath mingling.

  “I think… I think in some fucked up way, I wanted you too. You were always there. Always watching,” he whispered. “I think I still do.”

  “Fuck, Alex,” Hank groaned. “It was you when we were sixteen, and it’s still you now.”

  “Then what are you waiting for?” Alex’s lips hovered above Hank’s, almost grazing them. He could already taste him, all fine scotch and lust. He needed more—needed to know this moment was real. That something was real in his life.

  Hank’s mouth crashed into his before Alex could even catch his breath. Alex’s heart stuttered, and his body vibrated with pure electricity. He’d been kissed before in the heat of the moment. There had been the butterflies and the buzz that came from kissing someone you had chemistry with. But it didn’t compare to this. This was something else entirely. It was as though the earth, sun, and stars had all aligned, and fate had fallen into place. This was part of the universe’s master plan.

  He parted his lips, allowing Hank to taste and tease. Alex’s head spun, and he pressed closer against Hank, a hot flush running through his body. He needed more than this.

  “I want you,” Hank whispered harshly into his neck. “So fucking badly.”

  The warmth of his breath on Alex’s already-sensitive skin left him shivering. He wanted Hank too. Wanted to see the body he’d been hiding under oversized flannels and dirty T-shirts. As a former football player, he would have a beautiful one. Alex wanted to run his fingers over the hard dips and muscled curves of his perfectly-sculpted physique. He wanted to taste the saltiness and sweetness and hear all the delicious sounds he would make as their bodies met.

  “Take me to your room,” he said, not even attempting to hide how much he needed this.

  He rolled his hips against Hank, who didn’t waste a minute. Grabbing Alex’s hand, Hank led him up the stairs to the end of the hall. His bedroom was far enough away from the other guests as not to disturb them. Good.

  Hank kicked the door shut, and Alex glanced around. It was his first time seeing Hank’s room, and as much as he wanted to get in Hank’s pants, he couldn’t deny he was curious about how Hank decorated. The furnishings were all neutral tones and dark mahogany, the only bit of color the patchwork quilt covering the bed. It looked worn, as though it had been passed down. There were few decorations, only a picture on the wall of Hank and a man who looked very much like him.

  He didn’t have much time to look around, though. Hank crossed the room slowly, like a wolf stalking its prey. Surprisingly, though, Alex had never felt safer. Walking over to the nightstand, Hank flicked on the lamp and then wrapped a hand around Alex’s wrist, pulling him close.

  “You sure this is what you want?” Hank asked, giving him just enough space to say no.

  Alex slid his free arm around Hank’s waist and nodded. “I’ve been feeling something for a while, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. I still can’t. All I know is that when I’m around you, things feel better. Every time I saw you, I wanted to reach out and touch you. To hold you close to me.”

  Cradling the back of Alex’s head, Hank closed the distance between them. “Things are better for me when you’re around too. I’ve wanted this for a really long time. I want you to know that.”

  They stayed like that for several minutes, just holding onto one another. He could do that now. He could touch Hank in ways he had thought about more than he cared to admit over the past few weeks. When Hank finally pulled away, it was only to tilt Alex’s head up and kiss him again.

  The kiss was slower this time, less urgent but just as intense as before. Alex’s breath hitched as Hank sucked his lower lip, then he groaned as Hank bit gently on the sensitive skin. His cock was already hard, straining against his absurdly expensive suit pants.

  “Take me to bed,” he whispered. “Please, I want to touch you. All of you.”

  Hank smiled against his lips. “Sweetheart, I thought you’d never ask.”

  A moment later, Alex found himself scooped up and deposited on the surprisingly comfortable mattress. Hank followed, kneeling over Alex and looking down at him with a reverence that did funny things to Alex’s breathing. Slowly, Hank started on the buttons of his shirt, kissing each new inch of exposed skin.

  When was the last time someone had treated him with this much care and consideration? Even in the beginning, when he’d been with Grant, sex had been about Grant’s pleasure. Not Alex’s. Hank’s lips skimmed across his skin, and Alex squirmed as he found a ticklish spot. But rather than exploiting that weakness, Hank merely found a new patch of skin to lavi
sh with attention.

  He felt almost lazy, lying back and letting Hank undress him with such care, but every time Alex moved to sit up, Hank pushed him back.

  “Let me do this,” he rasped. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to touch you this way.”

  The feeling was mutual, but they had plenty of time, so Alex let Hank slowly divest him of each piece of clothing until he lay naked on the bed.

  “No fair,” he said with a smile. “You’re still dressed.”

  “You ever seen Holes?”

  What the hell did Holes have to do with anything. “Yes?”

  Hank winked. “I can fix that.”

  He sat back on his heels, making quick work of his button down and slacks before returning to hover on his hands and knees over Alex. Electricity sparked along Alex’s nerves, and he arched up to capture Hank’s lips in a deep, needy kiss. His tongue slipped inside Hank’s mouth as Hank cradled the back of his neck, drawing him even closer. Need pooled low in his belly, so he rolled his hips, gasping into the kiss as their cocks brushed against each other.

  And then Hank pulled away. Alex chased him, sitting up, but Hank just pushed him back down against the mattress.

  “Let me take care of you,” he said, nibbling along the rim of Alex’s ear.

  Alex shivered but nodded, gripping the bedsheets hard.

  Hank latched onto his neck, sucking and nipping gently, then laving his tongue across the sensitive skin. There’d be a bruise there tomorrow. Everyone would be able to see it, and they’d know exactly what had happened. A thrill shot through Alex. Hank was marking him. Claiming him.

  He continued to press kisses to Alex’s neck and throat, then his clavicle, moving at a glacial pace. Alex writhed against the bed, his cock aching. The one, tiny sober part of him was actually surprised he’d managed to get hard, especially after almost half a bottle of scotch, but he wasn’t going to question it. Instead, he was going to accept it and enjoy.