Shellshocked, Erin walked back to her classroom, and she knew she wouldn’t get any more grading done. There was far too much on her mind.
* * *
Erin hadn’t recovered much throughout the day. In fact, the rest of her classes for the day, she taught on autopilot. It was her fun day anyway, so the students pretty much knew what to do and good thing—she was able to only half-participate.
Riley had texted her and she called him during her lunch break. He already knew what was up, thanks to his mom, and he wanted to talk to her about it. She didn’t know that that was such a good idea. How could she be impartial and really evaluate what was best for her if he was right there with her?
But…it involved him so she thought it might not be a bad idea for the two of them to at least talk. She told him to come by sometime around four. She should be home by then. She didn’t plan on doing anything extra at the school tonight. She wasn’t feeling particularly loyal at the moment or motivated.
So she headed home after putting everything in her classroom in order. She didn’t have kids hanging out wanting to ask questions, and she knew that was because it was Friday. The kids were always as excited about Friday as she was, even the ones who liked school.
She was exhausted when she arrived outside her apartment building. She was looking forward to seeing Riley, though, no matter what the reasons behind it. Part of her was sad that he’d be leaving after the weekend, but she had to remind herself that “it was better to have loved and lost.” Sometimes that just felt like bullshit people told themselves so they’d act civilized when all they wanted to do was break down and cry.
But she walked up the stairs to her apartment, ready to spend some time with the guy who’d turned her whole world upside down. She didn’t blame Riley for the bullshit regarding her job. No, that was his psychotic mother’s doing. Erin wondered if Marjorie would have been as rabid about the situation if Riley hadn’t been her son, and she suspected the answer was no. The only reason Erin’s behavior was even on her radar was because Riley was her son. Erin remembered the look of horror that had been on the woman’s face when she’d caught Erin and Riley behind his closed bedroom door. She’d have thought the woman had come straight from Puritanical New England.
Well, she and Riley were maybe going to talk about it, but she had other plans first. She needed to relax and try to be happy. More than that, though, she knew she only had a few days left to enjoy Riley’s company. So she decided to create a love nest. He wouldn’t be there until four, so she might have time. The first thing she did was find every candle she owned. Then she placed them all over the house in various areas and closed the curtains. Just the candlelight alone made it romantic. She also took a bottle of her cologne and sprayed it here and there. She didn’t want it to be overwhelming, but a little would be nice.
She looked at the clock. She had ten minutes unless he arrived early. Maybe she’d have time to change into something really sexy. She had just opened her lingerie drawer when the doorbell rang. Damn. If she’d had something picked out already, she might be able to make him wait a couple of minutes, but she hadn’t even picked anything. Maybe that could be fun too. She could show him different pieces and ask him to choose one he wanted to see her in. With that thought in mind, she left the drawer open and walked to the front door.
But when she opened it, Riley wasn’t there. Instead, it was Ron Gill. What the hell was he doing there?
She almost invited him in out of habit, but no. She didn’t want him asking what the hell was going on with the candles. She also didn’t want him thinking he could settle in for a nice long visit. It might have been rude, but she didn’t care. She joined him outside her door. “Hi, Ron. What’s going on?” He’d never been to her apartment before, so his arrival was unusual.
“Oh, uh…I heard about the ultimatum Becker gave you.”
Erin refrained from rolling her eyes. “Good to know bad news still travels fast.”
He nodded. “That might be, but I wanted to know if you needed anything.”
Yes, she thought. But it wasn’t Ron. Still, she supposed, he was trying to be thoughtful. “No, I’m good, Ron. Thanks for checking.”
He took a deep breath, his brows bearing down on his eyes in concern. “You’re going to keep your job, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re not going to throw it away over some two-bit rock star, are you?”
Erin took a deep breath. First of all, it was none of his goddamned business, but secondly, Riley was not a “two-bit rock star,” not that Ron would know anything about it. Erin realized he was probably just being overprotective of her, but he didn’t know where her heart was. She wanted to keep it simple and get him out of there fast. “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, Ron. They gave me till Monday, so I’m going to spend that time making a decision.”
Ron placed his hands on her cheeks, making her look in his eyes. “Erin, don’t be rash. Don’t you get it? This is just a fling, and I’m glad you’ve done it. Everyone should have a little fun. But think about it. Really think about it. What is the life you want? Do you want to continue shaping young minds, helping to lead them down a steady path, or would you rather follow a rock star all over the world, while other women make plays for him all the time?”
Erin cooled. He was awfully presumptuous.
“Is he here? Maybe he can talk some sense into you. He’ll understand what I’m talking about.”
Ah…so Ron did suspect she was hiding something behind the door, but he thought it was a person. “No, he’s not here right now.” But if he showed up while Ron grilled her, they’d both find out the way Riley felt. She didn’t want Ron involved in it at all, though. She wanted him to leave.
Instead, Ron seemed to take that as an invitation. “So he’s not even here when you really need him?” He leaned forward, so she placed her hand on his chest to push him away. That just seemed to make him think he could go further. He tilted her head and laid a kiss on her and she pushed against him until he stopped. Part of her wanted to deck him but she really didn’t want to hurt him or resort to violence. “Stop,” she finally managed and he quit kissing her, even though he kept his hands on her. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
He kept his voice low but he didn’t release her. “Don’t you get it, Erin? I love you. I have for a long time. This rock star guy can’t possibly understand that. Haven’t you seen how the girls swarm around him like he’s a honeycomb? How can you compete with that? And how can he resist it?”
Erin wiggled her shoulders but couldn’t get loose. So she said, “Ron, these things are none of your business.” She softened her tone. “And, look, I had no idea you had fallen in love with me. We’ve never gone out, Ron. How can you love me? You hardly know me.”
“I know enough.”
No, he really didn’t. She suspected Riley had learned more about her in a week than Ron knew from her past three years at Winchester High. Ron hadn’t ever asked her many questions about herself. Maybe on a date that would change, but it was too late now. And she had to tell him that. “Look, Ron, you’re a nice guy, but your timing sucks. I am dating Riley right now, for better or worse, and I will have an easier time making a decision if you’re not in my face muddying the issues.”
His eyes searched hers but he seemed to understand. He nodded and took a deep breath. He still hadn’t released her, though. “Could you ever love someone like me?”
Erin inhaled, giving it some thought. Then she said, “With time, of course. That’s the problem, Ron. We know each other in the context of school but not outside it. How would you feel about going to a metal concert, for instance?”
The look on Ron’s face said all she’d ever need to know.
Chapter Thirty-eight
PURE RED RAGE. That’s what Riley was feeling at first. He should’ve known. Every goddamn woman he’d ever given a shit about actually loved someone else. Marla, Katie…and now Erin. W
hy the fuck hadn’t she ever told him she was involved with that nerdy theater guy? Riley could have had fun anyway, but he would have kept his heart out of it. Now, though, his heart was too inextricably wound around the thought of her, and seeing her with another man was painful.
He took a deep breath. The urge for alcohol was strong, and the longer he looked up at Erin in that guy’s arms, the stronger it got. Part of him wanted to go up there and beat the shit out of the guy, but all Riley needed was another high publicity misdemeanor or felony for the press to get wind of. They loved that shit and he was tired of perpetuating the bad boy stereotype. So while he clenched his jaw so hard he thought his teeth might crack, he noticed the slutty girl’s note peeking out of the small trash bag hanging off the car lighter.
Yeah…some fresh (albeit skanky) pussy could cure a lot of what was ailing him.
He opened the note even though he didn’t need to. He remembered…Josie, A-3. His chest remembered the trail her finger had traced down to his navel. If they hadn’t been outside and he’d been willing, he knew that girl would have kept her finger moving down to the tip of his cock.
Yeah, that could be the cure.
Oh, he knew it would just be a Band-Aid over a spurting wound, but it would do. The first fuck always took the edge off. The ache remained for a long time, but it was easier to cope with when it had been dulled. So he dropped the note on the car seat, shut the door, and stormed across the lawn area to the apartment doors on the bottom floor. He hadn’t even realized until he got closer that his vision was hot and blurry. What the fuck?
But he knew a girl like Josie wouldn’t give a shit. He ran his sleeve across his face, squinted his eyes, and clenched his jaw again, steeling himself. He rang the doorbell. What the hell was he going to do if she wasn’t there?
Well, he’d wait to find out.
But she was there. She didn’t seem too surprised either. Why was that? Her lips curled up in a lascivious smile and she hooked the top of his t-shirt with her index finger to lead him the rest of the way into her apartment. “Well, well, well. To what do I owe this honor?”
This wasn’t gonna work if she was gonna be stupid. Well, he knew this kind of girl didn’t care how she was treated, just so long as she got to bang the guy, so he didn’t plan to be delicate. “Two things…first, no questions. Second, I need something to drink.”
“I’ve got beer or…”
“Something stronger.”
“You got it.” She walked across the room to the kitchen area and Riley followed. She opened a cabinet and it was full of bottles, but Riley spotted what had once been his favorite: a huge bottle of Jack Daniels.
“How about some JD?”
Her hand slinked up into the cabinet and she grabbed the bottle with slender fingers after moving another bottle aside so she could reach it. “You weren’t kidding. This is probably the strongest stuff I’ve got.”
Riley considered asking her if she had anything illegal too, but fuck. He couldn’t let this make him fall completely off the wagon. In that brief flicker of self-control, he was able to at least make that concession. But his eyes started to cloud again and, as the skinny girl wearing tight denim cutoffs began slinking toward him, the bottle in her hand swaying side to side, he knew he was gonna be bad…he just wasn’t sure how much yet.
* * *
Erin looked at the clock…again. Granted, she hadn’t known Riley long, but she did know he was a punctual guy. He wasn’t the type to arrive late. So when the minutes kept ticking by, she started getting concerned. She’d finally gotten Ron to leave, and she was horrified to find it was two minutes after the hour when she got back in her apartment. She’d thought it was strange that Riley wasn’t there yet but didn’t worry too much. Now, though, at ten after, she was growing concerned.
Finally, she walked over to the window and looked out at the parking lot. She saw Riley’s car. Good. But as she continued looking, she didn’t see him getting out of it. So she walked over to the door. Maybe he was already walking up the stairs to her apartment. But when she opened the door, he was nowhere to be found.
That was odd.
She walked over to the stairs and started walking down. Where was he? She half expected to find him still sitting in his car. She couldn’t see through the windshield from where she was, but she kept walking.
When she got to his car, she peeked in, but no. He wasn’t inside. Why would he park here and not come up to her apartment? Again, she wondered where he would be. As she started to turn away, she noticed a piece of typing paper on the passenger seat. What caught her attention was the red lipstick smeared on it.
She knew exactly what that fucking note was. It was Jo, the whore on the ground floor. Erin couldn’t remember which apartment the girl was in, but she was certain now that that’s where Riley was. Why, she didn’t know, and she felt the temperature of her blood rising. She opened the door to Riley’s car and leaned over to read the note again. She didn’t want to touch it, but she could read it just the same. A-3.
She started marching back across the courtyard, praying she was wrong but knowing in the pit of her gut that she wasn’t. That girl was about to find out just what a “stuffy English teacher” was made of.
When she got to A-3, she rang the doorbell. Jo didn’t answer the door right away, so Erin started knocking on it with the side of her fist. She would save her knuckles for the girl if it came down to that.
And her expectations hadn’t prepared her for the violent emotions she would feel. When Jo opened the door and Riley stood holding a bottle of Jack Daniels inside a few feet away, Erin felt her heart drop to the floor while her blood pressure spiked. In just seconds, she felt betrayed, humiliated, and unloved. The anger she’d been feeling was still there, but it was crushed underneath the other overwhelming emotions.
Words escaped her. She’d wanted to say so many things…to Riley and to Jo, but the words were gone. Instead, all she could do was back away, and she was even inept at that. She couldn’t even close her jaw. But she knew that every inch she was able to put between her and Riley, the stronger she’d become.
She just wished she could catch her breath.
* * *
Riley had the bottle of Jack in his right hand and the slutty girl had just taken up residence in his other arm. She’d run her hands over his chest and was nuzzling his neck, asking if he wanted her to do a strip tease for him.
He just couldn’t bring himself to kiss her yet. Maybe once he actually took a swig of Jack.
But that was more difficult than he would have thought too. He had to start somewhere. He started bringing his other hand to the bottle to work the cap off when the doorbell rang. Josie acted like she was going to ignore it, but then the person started banging on the door.
“Damn it,” the girl muttered, then kissed Riley on the cheek. “Just gimme a sec to get rid of whoever this is.”
But when she opened the door, Riley pulled in a deep breath. It was Erin. At first, she looked furious, but then her face dropped and she looked…unfathomably sad. And he could see it in her eyes. Hell, just the timeframe told him what he needed to know. Whatever he saw between her and Gill or whatever the guy’s name was…wasn’t what he’d thought. Was it? Maybe it could have been, but the look on her face told him he, Riley, was hurting her right now.
And then all he wanted to do was go to her. Gone was the need for alcohol or the slutty girl. He had a duty to the woman he actually gave a shit about.
Erin was backing away, like she was horrified. Riley placed the bottle of Jack on the counter and started moving forward.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Jo asked.
“Sorry. I’m outta here.”
“We had a party planned.”
“Sorry…you’re gonna have to party without me.” He had something he needed to fix. How he got out of Jo’s apartment so quickly, he would never remember, but by the time he was outside, Erin was already running up the steps to her apartme
nt. “Erin. Erin! Wait.” But she didn’t even turn to look, didn’t even slow down. It made him run. He knew if she had a chance to shut the door to her apartment, he’d never have another. The stakes were high.
He caught up to her by the time she reached the third floor, but only because he’d been taking three stairs at a time. She was moving quickly, but she was no match for him. “Erin…talk to me.” His breath was short.
Tears were streaming down her cheeks. See that, fucker? You did that. Her lips were scrunched up and she shook her head while reaching for the doorknob. He moved forward and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Nothing happened, Erin. Nothing. And I’m sorry you even had to see that.” She was pulling away from him, but he couldn’t let her go. He pulled her to him and then she collapsed in his arms as she let the tears flow.
Chapter Thirty-nine
ERIN DIDN’T KNOW why, but she believed Riley when he told her nothing happened between him and Josie the tramp. She invited him into her apartment so her grief didn’t have to be so public. Inside, he kissed her…and he didn’t taste like alcohol. That too was good.
She was glad he didn’t say anything about all the candles.
They sat at her kitchen table. And even though she knew the answer, she asked, “Why, Riley?”
His brows were furrowed, his mouth screwed up, and that told Erin all she needed to know. He was feeling guilty, and he should. “When I got here, it looked like you were kissing that theater teacher.”
Erin’s eyes searched his. He continued to look at her, even though she could tell he wanted to avert his eyes out of shame. She didn’t want to chastise him too much, though, particularly because he was already punishing himself. “Well, you do realize he was forcing himself on me, right?”
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