Marriage In Jeopardy

by Anna Adams

  “I’ve been trying to prove I’m not scared of what happened since Clara died. She depended on me, and I wasn’t here. By the time I found her, she was gone.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I didn’t say it was.” Of course he had. A million times. He put the length of the room between them. Cold crept through the hundred-year-old window at his back, contrasting with heat from the fireplace.

  “For better and worse, Josh. Till death does us part. I’m on your side, and I’m not going to leave you because your childhood still lives with you.”

  “You would have if I’d kept the job.”

  She nodded, slowly, surprised by her own resolve. “I think so. Because what’s the point of a marriage if I’m afraid to have children with you? I want children, and I would never have tried again there. Do you know how many times we’d both have passed that courthouse where it happened?”

  He grabbed the windowsill behind his back. “Losing the baby reminds me how I felt when Clara died.” His mother had reopened all the wounds. “It hurts, Lydia. Clara was so vulnerable. I can’t help thinking I’m not good for children who depend on me.”

  Grief sharpened her face. Josh felt naked. Half an hour earlier, and he might have saved Clara. He hated thinking about it, but he rarely forgot.

  Lydia stood, angry and certain and strong. “Our son never got a chance to depend on you because a stranger killed him.” She came closer and held his face. “Clara was not your daughter. Were you supposed to quit school at fourteen so you could look after your little sister?”

  The never-silent wind and sea whispered at him. He wanted everything he’d lost, his son and his sister. And his wife’s happiness.

  Lydia had held their baby boy inside her. She’d sworn she knew him from the way he moved. He hadn’t liked pickles, and he’d kicked like crazy if she tried to sleep on her back. Josh had laughed at those tiny kicks against his palm.

  Tears wet his eyes. He scrubbed them away. He’d been strong all his life—he’d taken chances to help people. He deserved a chance at happiness, and he wasn’t a man who cried.

  Lydia didn’t seem to care if he cried. She put her arms around him and pulled his head to her shoulder. “Give yourself a break, Josh. Lean on me and be sad until you can feel better.”

  He slid his arms around her, breathing deeply of her scent. But she leaned into him, and her breasts pillowed, soft against his chest. Her waist was narrower, her hipbones more prominent. She’d lost weight, but her body brought his a familiar, urgent ache.

  They were weeks from making love, but he needed to lie in bed and hold her as close as she could come to him. “Let’s go upstairs. I’m not upset.” He smiled, echoing her earlier reassurance. “I just want to be your husband again.”

  “YOUR PARENTS are going to know we’re in here.”

  Water beat down on them. Josh’s arms held her tight. She blushed at the thought of Evelyn and Bart meeting them in the hall.

  “I don’t care.” He said it against her ear. Warm water and Josh’s arousal raised goose bumps from her head to her toes.

  “This is leading us straight to frustration.”

  “Not as frustrating as lying beside you in that bed, never touching you.” He lifted his head, staring at her mouth. “Now shut up and let’s enjoy being together.”

  She stood on tiptoe before his mouth reached hers. At least the sound of the shower covered the crazy pounding of her heart. Josh trailed his fingertips down her back. She arched into him. Holding him was not going to be enough. She planted her palms on his shoulders and dragged her hands down his chest, pausing to bump over his nipples until he caught her wrists. She kissed him, taking in water and his breath and need.

  Josh backed away. Only the shower wouldn’t let him go far.

  He smiled, lazily, sex in his gaze. “You were right.” He pushed his wet hair off his forehead. “I’m feeling a little desperate—and frustrated.”

  “We should get out of here. Do you think they already know?”

  “I don’t care. We’re adults.”

  They turned off the water and Lydia started to towel Josh off, but he stopped her. “Not a good idea,” he said through gritted teeth.

  She turned her back. He was suddenly behind her.

  “Also not a good idea,” he said, scooping her hair away from the side of her neck to kiss the sensitive skin.

  She was getting nervous. “Let’s go to our room, Josh.”

  “Sorry.”

  In a few minutes, she opened the door, checked to make sure his parents weren’t in the hall and crept out, belting her robe at her waist. Josh followed in yet another pair of boxers.

  The phone rang. His father picked it up from his and Evelyn’s bedroom. “Geraldine? Hold on. It’s for you, Evelyn.”

  Lydia opened Josh’s bedroom door and hurried inside. He followed.

  “I wonder what’s going on,” Josh said.

  “These doors are like paper.” Lydia wondered how well their voices had carried over running water. “Can you still hear your mom?”

  “No.” He looked at her, distracted, and she thought he was trying to hear if Geraldine’s grandsons were in more trouble.

  She was wrong. A second later, she was in his arms, and he took her mouth as if he hadn’t really kissed her in years. A little bit of trust built a whole lot of longing. Holding him, touching, felt better each time.

  When he released her, he didn’t let her go. She clung to his shoulders, as unsteady as a brand-new bride. Joy lit his eyes with desire and triumph. He slid his hands down her arms, grinning as she shivered.

  A knock at the door made them both jump. Lydia laughed nervously. Josh simply stared at her.

  “I don’t want to talk anymore,” he said, low-voiced. “Just tell them I haven’t killed you in case they thought we were arguing in the shower.”

  Lydia tightened her robe belt. “Hello?” she said, on some sort of lust-fuelled delay.

  The door eased open, squeaking. Evelyn poked her head around it. She searched her son with a mother’s concern. He moved behind Lydia, who couldn’t help laughing again.

  “I know it’s late,” Evelyn said, clearly aware she was intruding, “but we’re running into town to see Geraldine. The Barkers made a counteroffer and we need to discuss my financing.”

  “Okay.” Josh said. Lydia saw that something else was on his mind. Frustrated, he looked at his mom. “Anything else going on with Geraldine’s grandsons?”

  Lydia went still with shock. Josh had resisted any temptation to get involved in the problems of his hometown. His mother, equally surprised, made a quicker recovery.

  “She wouldn’t say.” She started to leave. “She did tell me one thing. I asked because she sounded upset, but it’s nothing the boys did.”

  “What, Mom?”

  Evelyn glanced at Lydia, uncomfortable with spreading more gossip—which Lydia found endearing. “Their mother met a man, and she’s asked Geraldine to let the boys stay on.”

  “Where’s the father?” Josh asked.

  “I don’t know. Geraldine has no idea.” She squared her shoulders. “Son, I know you’re reluctant to work on a case while you’re here, but this wouldn’t be a real case.”

  Lydia felt his wary glance.

  “What are you asking me?”

  “Could you talk to those boys? Nobody likes the parking meters on the boardwalk anyway, but I’ve heard people are starting to keep Mitch and Luke out of their stores. They don’t want to risk breakage or even theft. And that’s going to affect Geraldine’s business, too.”

  “You forget I’m the one who took Lydia to that pseudo-lineup. They might not like me because of that.”

  “They told their grandmother you didn’t want to do it. They think they can’t get into trouble because of the way you talked to Simon.”

  “That’s a mistake. I was protecting Lydia.”

  “You need to act fast. They may think they have a free ride becau
se someone like you believed in them. I don’t know how much they know about our past.”

  “I never got in trouble. My goal was to get out of here.”

  “You chose to stay clean, despite having possibly the worst parents ever.” Evelyn’s face turned brick-red, but she stood tall, untouched by any other sign of shame. “Geraldine’s grandsons didn’t respond the same way when their parents abandoned them. They’re the first kids everyone thinks of any time there’s trouble now.”

  “I’m not staying here long enough to get in the middle of this, Mother.”

  “You help all those people who do horrible things. Why can’t you try to persuade two boys to stop making bad choices before they need your services in court?”

  Lydia wanted to agree, but this was happening in Kline, the one place Josh never wanted to stay a second longer than he had to. She’d already forced him to quit his job, but she’d try never to mention living here again.

  “Geraldine might not want me guiding her boys. She may think I’m at the root of her problems because Lydia and I made the police talk to them about the school vandalism. She should talk to them.”

  Lydia turned to him. “Think how you’d respond to advice from your parents.” She wished she hadn’t said something so tactless in front of Evelyn, but she didn’t try to apologize. “Sometimes an outsider is more convincing. I’m not pushing you, Josh, but your mom has a point about reaching them before they need a defense attorney.”

  “You aren’t thinking I’ll feel the need to stay here to stop two teenage boys from bugging the crap out of my old teacher?”

  “I don’t always have an ulterior motive.” The answer came fast. “Surely you can trust me?”

  His eyes reassured her with warmth left over from their shower. “But I’m not the best choice. Mom, those kids don’t have real legal problems yet. They might be better off with someone who could talk to them about their parents.”

  “I’m going—I’ll suggest that to Geraldine.” Evelyn hugged Lydia and patted her son’s arm. “I hoped I’d be able to offer Geraldine a few minutes of your time, but I understand.” At the door, she paused without looking back. “As long as you’re not holding out on helping them because you’re still mad at your dad and me. If you are, I think you should get over it.”

  The door closed. Lydia, torn between the two of them, didn’t know what to say.

  “That killed the mood, huh?” Josh took her pajamas out of the closet and passed them to her. “You get the toothpaste first,” he said.

  “Aren’t you even tempted?” she asked.

  Ghosts looked out from his face, a boy who’d had his own share of problems, a young man who’d lost everything that had mattered, despite doing his best to hang on. “Old habits die hard,” he said. “They remind me of myself, and I’d like to help them.”

  LYDIA TRIED to stay awake until Josh came to bed. The late hour and too many minutes packed into one day worked against her. She fell asleep, still waiting for the sound of his footsteps in the hall.

  The next morning, she woke in the house alone. She washed up the coffee cups and her own breakfast dishes. After starting a load of laundry, she wandered out to the barn, hoping to find Josh and Bart.

  They’d obviously skipped painting today in favor of paying work. She opened the barn and walked its length, exiting at least a football-field’s distance later, into cold sunlight.

  A woman who loved her share of cloudy days and wet weather, she still lifted her face to the benevolent warmth of a November sun. Behind her, a truck’s engine roared. She turned. It was Bart’s old truck, churning up dust on the gravel drive.

  She started across the yard. Had Josh and his father had an accident on the boat? She saw only one man in the vehicle’s cab. Josh got out at the kitchen doorway and waited for her.

  “Morning,” he said as she drew near enough to hear. “I hoped to see a little of you last night.”

  “Too much exercise. I fell asleep,” she said with an attempt at a wry smile. “What’s up?”

  He hesitated, his eyes blank, his expression bland. “Come inside with me.”

  “Okay, but did something happen? Is Bart all right?”

  “I ended up not going with him. I was with Mom, looking at secondhand ovens. Geraldine called and my conscience got the better of me.” He held the mudroom door for her. “I’m not sure my mother didn’t offer my services after all, but Geraldine asked me to talk to her grandsons, and…” He trailed off, obviously concerned about her reaction.

  She went inside. “And what? Did she say something else?”

  “No. It was—last night’s lecture from my mother.” He quirked an eyebrow. “And you.”

  A sense of relief surprised her. “I knew the kinder, gentler Josh couldn’t resist helping if he was still inside you.”

  “I’m not kinder or gentler. I just saw some sense in what you both said about redirecting these kids before they’re in trouble.”

  “I’m teasing. Why’d you come home first?”

  He looked down at the hole in his thermal shirt and the paint on his jeans. “I dressed to go with Dad before Mom asked me to look at ovens. You know how she’s throwing her money around lately, and she doesn’t even have the shop yet. Somehow I feel responsible for her.”

  “But you came home because Mitch and Luke care what you look like?”

  “They probably won’t talk to me anyway, but I thought I’d clean up to give a more…lucrative impression.” He crossed the kitchen ahead of her. “Geraldine says the boys were picked up for drinking and driving last night. They’re already at home—suspended from school for a fight that day Mom and I were talking to her. She suggested I could catch them before she sent them out to paint her garage.”

  “Must be the painting season in Kline,” Lydia joked, anxious at the prospect of Josh dealing with another drinking problem.

  “She got the idea from Dad and me.”

  In their room, he changed into newer jeans. She was leaning on the corner of his desk as he dropped his shirt on the floor. He stopped moving when he saw her looking at him. Josh covered the distance between them. He smiled as he lowered his head.

  “You look as if you wouldn’t mind….”

  He was right. She took his clean sweater from his hands and pulled his arms around her, eager for his kiss. The sweater dropped on the floor in a heap as she slid her palms up his bare, tensed back. He felt so good. Holding him, she believed in one man above all others feeling right for a woman.

  He eased away at last, but rubbed his thumb against the corner of her mouth. She bit him lightly, forgetting all the bad feelings that had torn them apart. Doubt and pain melted in the heated light of hope.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to carry on,” he said, “but your doctor ordered us not to.”

  “What does he know? He’s just a man.” She kissed him again, but he caught her hands, setting her away from him with flattering reluctance.

  “I have to dress.”

  “Want some lunch before you go?”

  “No.” His tone reminded her of happier days, when they’d been more at ease, less likely to approach each other with caution. “Food is not on my mind right now.”

  She went downstairs and chose another book from his parents’ shelves. She was sprawled on the sofa, not reading, when he came down.

  “I forgot to ask how you’re feeling,” he said, smoothing his dark curls with his hands.

  “Fine.” She spread her arms, to show off her good health. “I’m on the mend in every way.” She felt a spiral of sadness twist through her, but didn’t share it with Josh. Sometimes, her grief for their child seemed like her own to deal with. “Did Geraldine mention how the bid’s going?”

  “I forgot to ask. When I agreed to talk to Mitch and Luke, I thought you might be upset.”

  She smiled, flawed enough to be happy.

  “You don’t have to look so pleased.” Josh cradled her face to take the sting from his words.


  “I’m smiling because I don’t feel as if you’re more interested in saving the world than being with me. In fact, I feel as if I got those boys in trouble in the first place, and I’m glad you’re going.”

  “We’re getting involved here, whether I want to or not.” He thumbed her mouth again, his gaze locked on her lips. “But I’m begging you not to imagine I’ll change my mind about staying.”

  “I won’t.” She could barely speak.

  He nodded, but she knew he didn’t believe her. She got up and stood on tiptoe to kiss him, looping one arm around his neck. “Persuade them to go straight, and you can wash your hands of Kline.” She curved her mouth. “I’ll try to want to as well.”

  He relaxed a little. “Want to go for a walk when I get back?”

  “Sure.”

  “And track my mother if she calls.” As his mouth drifted over her jaw, she inhaled. Josh held her with seductive tenderness.

  Warnings clamored in Lydia’s head. They’d talked, but they were still coasting. They’d agreed not to go home and not to stay here. But every time they tried to talk about the future, they came back to the past. Was she making the same old mistake?

  “I’d better go.” Josh skimmed her cheek with the back of his hand.

  “Going is the right thing to do.”

  He gave her a crooked smile. She’d never sent him out to an unexpected meeting with a client with those words. He pushed through the door. She caught it before it slammed.

  He strode to the car, his step ever more confident. The Josh she had loved had come back at last. Unable to resist attempting a good deed, he still made room for her in his priorities.

  Would he stay this time? Or leave when he felt she was secure again? Wondering felt disloyal, but she couldn’t just put the past few years out of her mind.

  JOSH REACHED Geraldine’s house with no memory of driving there. He rang the doorbell, with Lydia in his head, her body lithe and provocative, molding itself to his hands. He leaned against the door frame. Lost in wanting his wife, he hadn’t considered what to say to these kids Geraldine had taken on.