And it certainly wasn’t a hardship to look at his body, either.
A shudder raced through her as she remembered those kisses at the airport. It was a good thing he’d walked away, or she might’ve pleaded with him not to go.
Which was silly. He didn’t want marriage and a ready-made family.
Mandy called to her, and Melissa knew her option of remaining in bed had just been canceled. “Coming, sweetie,” she called, shrugging on her robe.
Her day had begun.
* * *
AFTER PICKING UP MANDY from Mrs. Tuttle, Melissa came back home that evening, exhausted. Why? She hadn’t done any more than she usually did.
But she’d gone through her day missing Russ.
It was ridiculous. The man had only been here three days. She and Mandy had managed without anyone for a much longer time.
She carried Mandy to the kitchen and put her in the high chair. Feeding her was first on the list. As she took down several jars of baby food, she caught the blinking light on the answering machine.
She kept it on the kitchen counter instead of in her office because otherwise she often forgot to check it. Probably something at the office. She’d left a little early to pick up the other pictures she’d taken of Russ. The ones in his tux.
Though she’d glanced at them briefly, she intended to wait until after Mandy had been fed to take a good look at them. That way she could enjoy them.
She hit the play button on her way to the table. A recorded sales message started playing. With a sigh, she opened the baby food and began feeding Mandy.
But she froze after the beep when the next message started.
“Melissa? You there?” Russ asked.
He paused and Mandy started babbling, looking around the room.
“He’s not here, baby,” Melissa hurriedly said, as if her daughter could understand.
“I guess you’re not there,” his deep voice continued. “I was wondering how Mandy felt. And you, too. I wanted to tell you I bought a frame for the picture you gave me. And that I had a great weekend. I’ll try to call later this evening to see how Mandy’s doing. Bye.”
Melissa slowly let out her pent-up breath. She picked up the spoon again to feed Mandy and discovered her hands were shaking. If the man could disturb her that much with his voice, think what would happen if he suddenly appeared.
She’d best be grateful that there was no possibility of him coming back. There was no future for him here. Their lifestyles didn’t mesh. And she wasn’t ready to take another man into her life.
A vision of Russ settled in her heart and she stared into space. No. No, she wasn’t. It would hurt too much. But what did that matter, she realized. It already hurt too much, anyway.
Mandy pounded on the tray of her high chair, demanding her mother’s attention.
“Yes, sweetie, I’m here. Open up.” She wished she could be like her daughter, easily assuaged with food. But she had no appetite. Only heartache.
After bathing Mandy, Melissa put her to bed at the normal time. Then she began doing the household chores that filled her evenings, followed by work she’d brought home from the office.
She dreaded going to bed, sure she would dream of Russ again. Determined to ward off that misery, she crawled into bed with a mystery she thought she might like. But after reading the first page four times, she realized the book wasn’t enough to distract her.
She’d shut off the lamp by her bed and lay staring at the ceiling when the phone rang.
“Melissa? Is it too late to call? I worked late and lost track of the time,” Russ said as soon as she answered.
A frightening sense of homecoming filled her. Russ had called. “No, it’s not too late. I was just reading. How was your flight home?”
“Boring. How’s Mandy?”
“Fine. Her fever didn’t come back.”
“Good.”
An awkward silence filled the air.
“Did you have a lot of work waiting for you?” she finally asked.
“Yeah. We’re starting a new office building. I spent a lot of time in meetings this afternoon.”
“That sounds interesting.”
“It was. Tell me what you did with your day.”
Though she thought her day had been mundane, she gave him the details. She told him about the pictures she’d picked up, assuring him he looked great.
“Did the article come out in the paper today?”
“No, I believe it will be out on Wednesday. I’ll send you a copy of it.”
“Do you have my address?”
“I have your office address. I can send it there.”
“Okay. Let me give you some numbers where I can be reached. If you and Mandy need anything—call me.”
She couldn’t do that. Russ lived in Chicago. He wasn’t a part of their lives. But she didn’t tell him that. After dutifully writing down the numbers, she thanked him again for all he’d done.
“I think I owe you,” he said softly. “I’ll let you get to sleep now. Take care.”
“You, too.”
After hanging up the phone, she closed her eyes. She knew she’d dream of him now after hearing his sexy voice while she lay in bed. She couldn’t help it.
But she knew in her heart he wouldn’t call her again.
* * *
RUSS CALLED HER every night.
He spent the entire day trying to think of a good excuse. Tuesday it was because he thought he’d left a belt there. He found it later in his closet, but he didn’t look until after his phone call.
Wednesday he called to find out about the article in the newspaper. Thursday he wanted to ask if she’d chosen the pictures she intended to use.
Friday he wanted to tell her about a movie he’d seen the night before. A movie to keep him from going insane until he could call her.
Saturday, he called to discuss his decision to search for his mother. He’d talked to Lindsay and she’d promised to help him get the files of his placement at the ranch.
“Russ, that’s wonderful,” Melissa said. “I think you’ve made the right decision.”
The warmth of her voice seemed to travel the phone wires like a physical thing, enveloping him as he sat on his couch. “I wish we had those television phones,” he said.
“Why? You know what I look like.”
“Yeah. But what are you wearing?”
Embarrassed silence was his only answer.
“Melissa? What are you wearing?”
“Um, I was changing when the phone rang. If it had been a video phone, I wouldn’t have answered.”
He tried to smother his groan as a wave of desire shot through him at the thought of Melissa half-dressed. “Are you and Mandy going out?” he asked, to change the subject.
“We’re going to the office for a little while. I have a bit more work to do on the cards before I can send them to the printer. I’m anxious to get them finished.”
“You’ll send me some?”
“Of course. You’ll get the first copy of every card.”
“I think I might be coming back to Wyoming for a few days real soon.” The plan had just popped into his head.
“Really?” She drew a deep breath that had him practically panting. “Why?”
“Business. You don’t sound happy about it.”
“I—it has nothing to do with me, Russ. I mean, I know you’d be busy.”
“Not too busy to see you and Mandy.”
“We’d love to see you, too,” she said in a rush.
“Great. I’ll let you know when.”
He hung up the phone after telling her goodbye and began pacing his apartment. He hadn’t lied to her. He had business in Wyoming. But it would have nothing to do
with the company he worked for.
Since he’d come back to Chicago, he’d felt like a caged tiger. He’d paced his office. He’d paced his apartment. He’d paced the sidewalks.
His time here was over. He’d finally realized that last night. He longed to be back in Casper. And the longing only got worse as each day passed.
He’d found the sketches of the house he’d done that night in Melissa’s kitchen. He’d begun drawing up actual plans. This was his house, and he intended to build it. In Casper.
His plans were half-formed, but he knew he was headed in the right direction.
The house would be perfect, but only if it held Melissa and Mandy, he finally admitted. He’d known that all along, but he hadn’t been willing to acknowledge the source of the need that clawed at him.
He’d never been able to commit to a woman before. Never been able to bear the risk of her leaving him. He’d thought if he didn’t love anyone, he wouldn’t be hurt.
But Melissa—and Mandy—had sneaked up on him. He knew he had strong feelings for them. He just didn’t know if it was love. But whatever it was, he wanted to be with them, to share in their lives.
Not that he intended to say anything yet. He’d move back to Wyoming, build his home, spend more time with the Bright ladies. Then he’d let Melissa know that she was important to him.
He chose the next weekend for his trip to Casper. Each night, when he talked to Melissa, he made plans. They were going to go out to the ranch and ride. Mandy needed an opportunity to wear those little blue jeans he’d bought her.
A picnic was on the schedule, with Melissa promising to provide the food. He’d even dared ask her to arrange baby-sitting with Mrs. Tuttle so they could have another evening out, just the adults.
“I don’t know. Mrs. Tuttle said her niece is coming to visit,” Melissa had replied, hesitating.
“Maybe another neighbor could keep an eye on Mandy.” He wanted to dance with Melissa again, to feel her against him.
“I’ll see.”
Thursday morning as he worked at his desk, the phone rang. He picked it up, in a cheery mood since he’d be seeing Melissa Friday night. “Russ Hall,” he said.
After a moment of silence, a female voice asked, “Is this Russ Hall from Wyoming?”
He knew at once who was calling. He’d discovered a register for adopted children and their birth parents. Information was exchanged if both parties were listed.
He hadn’t expected to hear anything so soon.
“Yes.” His heart was racing. Something in the voice struck a memory, a long-forgotten memory.
“I—I’m—this is your m-mother.” The voice shook with suppressed emotion.
The only word he could manage was “Yes.”
“You—you r-registered—” The woman broke into sobs.
Russ wanted to speak, to offer solace, but he didn’t know what to say. Before he could manage to reply, he heard a scuffling noise, then a strong male voice came in the line.
“Hello.”
“Hello? Who’s this?” Russ demanded.
“I’m Emily’s husband. Is this Russ?”
“Yes.”
“Look, I know this isn’t easy for you, but Emily’s been tearing herself up over contacting you. Do you really want to know your mother?”
Here was the turning point. Even when he’d registered, he hadn’t been sure. He wanted to know whether or not his mother was out there. But was he really ready to meet her?
“Yes,” he uttered again, his voice cracking with emotion.
“Are you willing to come to our house?”
“Where do you live?” Russ asked, frowning. He’d travel anywhere, but he’d planned to go to Wyoming this weekend.
“Here, in Chicago.”
Russ gasped, unable to believe that he and his mother had lived in the same city all these years. “Give me the address.”
After writing it down, he said, “I’ll be there in half an hour, if that’s all right.”
The man assured him they’d be waiting.
* * *
HE HADN’T CALLED.
Melissa had known she was depending too much on Russ’s nightly calls. She waited each evening, curled up in her bed, her gaze on the phone.
It was madness. She needed to put him out of her thoughts. There was no future for her with Russ.
But still she waited.
It was past 2:00 a.m. He obviously wasn’t calling tonight. She was an idiot to still be awake, still aching to hear his voice. Longing to know that he thought of her as he went through his day, as she thought of him.
She’d bought two picture frames. She’d put one of the photos of Russ in his tux in the first frame. It sat beside her bed so she could look at it while she talked to him.
The other frame held a picture of him and Mandy. It was in her daughter’s room, and each day she showed it to Mandy.
What was she doing? she wondered now. Setting up her daughter’s heart to be broken as well as her own? What kind of a mother was she?
One who wanted her daughter to know and love Russ Hall as much as she did.
That was ridiculous. They’d known each other for such a short time. But that time had been spent exchanging thoughts, sharing laughter, caring for each other. She knew Russ cared for her and Mandy. His phone calls told her that.
But did he love them? Both of them?
She didn’t know.
She looked again at the phone, then at the clock. With a weary sigh, she turned off the lamp and fell back against the pillow.
Maybe tomorrow.
* * *
THE PHONE RANG BEFORE she left for work the next day.
“Melissa, it’s Russ.”
“Russ! How are you? I was afraid—”
“I have bad news.”
She hadn’t expected those words. In fact, she’d already noted a buoyant note in his voice, as if something exciting had happened. “What—”
“I can’t come to Wyoming this weekend.”
Her heart fell. She hadn’t realized how much she’d been looking forward to seeing him again. She struggled to remain calm, not to let him hear her disappointment. “I’m sorry. Is anything wrong?”
“We’ve run into some snags on the project and I’m going to have to put in five or six hours on Saturday.”
“I see. Well, maybe some other time.”
“Damn it, Melissa, I don’t want to wait,” he protested, sounding frustrated.
“I don’t, either.” His honesty deserved the same in return.
“Good. I’ve changed the reservation to your name. I’ll meet you at the airport.”
Stunned, she stared into space, unprepared for his request. Or order. “I—I can’t. Mandy—”
“Ask Mrs. Tuttle to take her for the weekend. Or, I know, I’ll call Lindsay. She’ll take care of her.”
“No! I can’t just dump my child because—” Because she was crazy about a man? Because she wanted to start living again? She had a responsibility to Mandy. She loved Mandy.
“Melissa, we won’t have a lot of time. But I need to see you. I want to see Mandy, too, but the trip would be too hard on both of you. Please come this time by yourself?”
She heard another voice in the background. “What was that?”
“I’m holding up a meeting. I have to go. Please come.”
“I’ll let you know,” she said quietly, then hung up the phone.
“Ma-ma-ma-ma!” Mandy called, waving at her from the high chair.
“Yes, baby, Mommy’s here,” she said, kissing her daughter on the forehead. Yes. She’d always be here. For Mandy.
She sat still, beside her child, her mind going round and round as she debated her choices. A k
nock at the door surprised her.
When she opened the door, she found Mrs. Tuttle standing there, accompanied by a woman in her fifties. Melissa stepped back and invited them in. “You must be the niece Mrs. Tuttle has been expecting.”
“Yes, I’m Natalie. I’ve heard so much about you and your baby, I couldn’t wait to meet you.” The woman smiled warmly and shook Melissa’s hand.
“Where is baby Mandy? I explained to Natalie that we’re keeping her tomorrow night when Russ comes back. It will be so much fun.”
Melissa looked at Mrs. Tuttle, sure her face revealed her distress. But she couldn’t help it. “He’s not coming.”
“What? That dear boy isn’t coming? Why? Something must be wrong or I know he would be here.”
Melissa nodded, finding it difficult to speak. A sense of mourning filled her. It was ridiculous to be so upset over canceled plans. But she was.
“He—he has to work. He wanted me to come to Chicago, but I can’t leave Mandy. I just can’t.” She turned and headed for the kitchen, gesturing for her guests to follow. “Come meet Mandy.”
While the two ladies were cooing and smiling at her child, Melissa put on water for coffee. When she carried cups to the table, the two ladies sat down with her.
“Now, what’s this about you not going to see Russ?” Mrs. Tuttle demanded, her voice firm.
Melissa tried to smile. She didn’t feel her attempt was completely successful. “Russ invited me, but I said no, of course.”
“What do you mean, of course? Of course you’ll go.”
“Mrs. Tuttle—”
“Natalie and I would love to take care of Mandy. With Natalie here, you don’t have to worry about me getting too tired. She watches over me like a mother hen. In fact, having someone else for her to look after would suit her to a tee.”
“She’s right, you know,” Natalie chimed in. “My two are grown. I’m a widow like Aunt Cathy, so I’d love the chance to spoil a baby again.”
“When are you supposed to go?” Mrs. Tuttle asked.
“I don’t know. He said he made reservations in my name but he didn’t give me a time.” When the elderly lady reached for the phone, Melissa tried to pull herself together. “Mrs. Tuttle, I can’t—”
Rent-A-Dad Page 15